Bent not Broken

by Lisa De Jong

  “Merry Christmas, Daniel.” She looked at me, her expression soft—adoring. She took my hand under the table and ran her thumb over the back of my hand, her touch so calming yet always fire, never a contradiction.

  I intertwined my fingers with hers and stood. Like a magnet, she echoed my movements and rose as well. “Merry Christmas, Melanie.” I kissed her tenderly, gently, savoring that constant sweetness that was Melanie. I lingered, manifesting my every affection.

  I led her to the fire. The embers glowed red, the flames jumping, crackling, tinged in blue, providing the only light in the room. I helped her to the floor, staring unabashedly as she curled her long legs under her and settled down in front of me.

  I didn’t know I was so nervous until I realized my hands were shaking.

  Fumbling in my pocket, I pulled out the small box and tentatively placed it on the floor in front of her.

  Melanie gasped, her eyes flitting between the box and me. “Daniel...I...I don’t have anything for you.”

  As if I could ever want anything other than her.

  “Shh, baby, you’ve already given me everything. And...it’s old.”

  I’d held on to it for a very long time.

  She began to reach for it and I stopped her. “I need to say something first.”

  She looked at me, confused as she withdrew her hand. In quiet expectation she waited while I wrestled with how to best get this out.

  “Melanie, sweetheart...you know how much I respect you, right?”

  She nodded without hesitation.

  “Good. Because I need you to believe I’d never try to control you. But I can’t let you go back there. It’s not safe.”

  She immediately refused, just as I knew she would. “No, it’s not safe for me to leave yet. He’ll know why. We have to give it more time.”

  “We don’t have more time.” I lowered my voice, running my fingers through the lock of hair that had fallen in her face, pushing it back in place. “We can’t hide this forever, and you can’t be in that house when he finds out.”

  Almost imperceptibly she shook her head. I could see how badly she wanted to agree, but her judgment was clouded. Fear dominated, filling her with doubt.

  “Do you really think anything is ever going to change, Melanie? The only thing these last two months have accomplished is making him tighten his hold on you. Another two months aren’t going to make a difference, either.”

  She was silent, her eyes closed.

  “Do you understand what I’m trying to say?”

  Tears broke free and streamed down her face. She whispered, “I’m scared.”

  “I know, baby. He wants you to be. Don’t you see that? He knows exactly what he’s doing, knows exactly how to control you. You are so strong, sweetheart, but you have to use it the right way.”

  She surprised me by cutting me off. “Okay.” She opened her eyes, nodding but still crying.

  I grasped her face and kissed her, closed mouthed and hard. My relief was intense, overpowering. I pulled away and glanced down at the space between us, drawing her attention to the little velvet box. “Open it.”

  She flashed me a soggy, full-toothed grin, and she dried her eyes with her sleeve. She picked up the box and ran her fingers over the velvet top. “Thank you, Daniel. You didn’t have to.”

  Gingerly, she lifted the lid, smiling as she inspected the obviously antique ring, a relic from long ago. She freed it from its confines. “Oh, it’s so beautiful,” she whispered as she brought it closer, holding it up to examine the detail. She ran a finger over the thick band of white gold encrusted with diamonds that shimmered in the firelight. As she rolled it over, a cry escaped her mouth.

  “Oh, my God, Daniel, is this?”

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t control the tremors that hit me, rolling through every muscle of my body with the onslaught of emotion.

  It was the same inscription as my necklace, the intertwined D & M, except for the date running along the inside.

  April 28, 2000. I searched his face, his eyes so hopeful, full of his promise of forever. His voice cracked when he spoke, “Will you wear it?”

  I was crying, probably too hard, but I couldn’t stop. I found myself only able to whisper his name, praying he could feel what this meant to me even if I couldn’t voice it.

  He wanted me to wear my wedding ring.

  “I’d had it engraved before...before the accident,” he said, rushing over the words before taking a deep breath. “I could never part with it because, in my heart, you were my wife. And I want you to know I intend to make that a reality...and soon. But for now, will you wear what was meant for you so long ago?”

  My face felt flushed and my heart beat impossibly fast, pounding as it thrummed against my chest. Daniel’s love overpowered me as he asked me to acknowledge that day. Our day. A day we had physically missed, but a day our spirits had been present for, a day our souls had always honored. It was a day I confirmed as I nodded, raising a shaky hand to Daniel, my palm extended in offering. He didn’t hesitate to take the ring from my hand. He kissed my palm before he turned my hand over and slid the ring to its rightful place.

  My entire being hummed.

  I gaped at my hand resting in his, the ring a priceless reminder of this love that refused to die.

  “I love you, Daniel. Forever.” I stared at him through the firelight, witnessed the love alight in his eyes. The energy grew thick, nearly visible at the fringes, a faint shimmer in the air as it enveloped us.

  “You are everything, Melanie.” He never broke his gaze as he brought me to him, lying us down, side-by-side, face-to-face. His lips were unhurried and worshipful. He took time to revere all of me, leaving nothing in disregard, his love lasting deep into the night.

  ****

  The rest of our vacation went by quickly, most of it spent in the cabin, content to be alone and without interruption. We’d only ventured out a few times, braving the snow and freezing temperatures. We’d walked down to the boardwalk, always hand in hand, browsing through the quaint stores.

  We ate dinner out one night when Daniel insisted I deserved a break from cooking. We dined in a beautiful restaurant nestled on a hill that overlooked the lake. The view was breathtaking, almost as much so as the view from our balcony at the cabin.

  We rang in the New Year by sitting snuggled up on the couch with a bottle of wine, the fire raging before us, sharing precious memories of our past and making promises for our forever.

  I had never experienced anything so satisfying. My heart was filled to capacity, the joy within me almost overwhelming as it was reflected back in Daniel’s face every time he looked my way.

  But as I strapped into my seat on the plane preparing to return to Illinois, I knew this was what I was looking forward to. As wonderful as the trip had been, I was going home.

  Daniel borrowed my phone to call Patrick and Julia since he’d forgotten his charger, and his phone was dead. He let them know we were on our way home. Our home.

  I made one last call to Mom before turning off the phone for the flight. She’d heard nothing from Nicholas the entire time and said all was well.

  We were going to handle this as simply as we could. It was Monday and Nicholas would be at the office. We would get what little I needed from the house, and I’d leave my car there. I wanted nothing that belonged to him. I would take only what I had to have and forget the rest.

  I would leave a note asking Nicholas to call so I could arrange to meet him at a restaurant or some other public place, in a place where he could cause no scene and do me no harm. Just to be safe, Daniel would be nearby in case I needed him.

  I was going to tell Nicholas the truth. As much as I despised him, he deserved that. After all, I had been a willing partner in all of this.

  The seat belt lights flickered on, and Daniel wove his fingers through mine. The plane began to move, readying to make its departure into the early morning light. As t
he plane took flight, we raced east to meet the sunrise. Faster than I could imagine, the captain came on and announced our decent into Chicago. Daniel smiled at me and squeezed my fingers, murmuring in my ear, “Ready?”

  I exhaled nervously in anticipation.

  Yes.

  Finally—I was ready.

  ****

  We departed the plane, both of us quiet, contemplative.

  “It’s going to be okay.” Daniel pulled me from my meditation with his soft words and a gentle hand on my cheek. “Tonight is going to be hard, but you can do this, sweetheart. You pick the place and time. Don’t give him the option. You need to be the one in control of this.”

  I nodded. Daniel’s suggestion made sense. “Um...there’s a little diner Katie and I go to. It’s always busy, and I think if you were in the back, he’d never see you.”

  “Okay.” He tried to hide it, but I could tell that he was just as nervous about this meeting as I was.

  “We’ll just leave a note when we get your stuff.”

  The tram doors slid open. “I’ll see you at his house.” A small smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth, obviously thrilled to voice that I no longer lived there. “I’m going to pop by the office to sign some papers for Dad. I’ll be about fifteen minutes behind you.”

  “Okay...love you.” I kissed him once more before stepping onto the waiting tram. I raised my hand to return the small wave he gave me, grinning as I watched him turn to catch a shuttle to his own car.

  I winced at the frigid wind stinging my face when I stepped outside. Chicago was every bit as cold as Tahoe had been. The sky was dark with heavy gray clouds, sagging in their promise of snow. I reached my car, struggling to get my suitcase into the trunk. I paid my parking fee and set out on my last trip to Nicholas’s house, unable to pacify the opposing emotions fighting to claim dominance. How could I be so eager to get away from there and so terrified to do it all at the same time?

  It was just after three when I pulled up to the house. I opened the garage and parked the car in its spot.

  I was officially car-less.

  Shrugging, I pulled the keys from the ignition. Those little details mattered none.

  I tugged the heavy suitcase from the trunk, figuring its contents would be the only clothes I’d take. I grabbed an empty cardboard box large enough to fit the few things I needed from the office.

  I stepped into the house, silent and dim with the advancing storm. I went directly to the office and downloaded a few files from the computer while I rifled through paperwork. I made sure to take the large manila envelope that contained my birth certificate and medical records. There were a few pictures of Katie and me in frames on the desk, and I tossed those into the box as well before looking around to make sure I had everything I needed. It was amazing that everything that was important to me in the last nine years fit into one small box. The only other things I needed were the few pieces of jewelry that had belonged to my grandmother in the jewelry box upstairs and the treasured pictures hidden at the bottom of it.

  I heaved the box into my arms and toed the door open, swinging it wide and stepping out into the living room.

  “Did you have a nice trip, Melanie?” The cold, steady voice reached me from across the room. I gasped as the box slipped from my hands, the items spilling across the floor, glass shattering as the frames crashed against the tile.

  Blood throbbed against my eardrums and ran cold through my veins. My heart didn’t know whether to seize or pound its way completely from my chest.

  No. Please. No.

  But I couldn’t deny the dark figure, a shadow sitting leisurely in the large chair in front of the window. The faint amount of light coming in from outside obscured everything but his silhouette. I gulped, trying to hold down the scream rattling in my throat.

  “Nicholas...you...you...scared me,” I managed to force out, my mind racing. I clamored to find a way to get myself out of this situation. My eyes darted to the door. His eyes trailed mine, keen on my intent.

  Even as preoccupied as I had been with packing my things, I still would have heard him enter, and I knew then that he hadn’t wanted me to know he was there.

  Because he knew.

  He had to have been waiting, watching. My stomach clenched. Had he followed me here from the airport?

  “Going somewhere?” His tone was laced with a sarcastic bite as he tilted his head to the side. His face slowly came into focus, his relaxed posture a paradox, his expression severe. The fury burning in his eyes was visible even across the darkened room.

  His face shifted down, and I noticed the pile of papers resting on his knee. He slowly and deliberately reached down to pick them up, smacking them lightly against his knee.

  I knew immediately what they were.

  How could I have been so stupid—so careless?

  “These are really very interesting.” He held them up, pursing his lips, his eyebrows drawn, waiting for my reaction to the pages and pages of cell phone bill. The lines of unknown number were numerous, both texts and calls running in repetition down the columns. The few sparse calls to Katie and my mother sorely stuck out among the hundreds of others. It was clear from the look on Nicholas’s face that he knew exactly who my “unknown” was.

  So this was it.

  I could try to lie, but there would be no denying what Nicholas held in his hand, and I was through keeping my love for Daniel a secret.

  “Just let me go, Nicholas. I don’t love you, and you don’t love me, so—”

  His barking laugh caught me by surprise as he jumped to his feet. Not even a small amount of humor accompanied the harsh sound coming from his mouth.

  “You think this is about love?”

  I cowered back, the broken glass crunching beneath my feet as I backed away from him as he stalked across the room.

  “This is about somebody trying to take something that belongs to me. You...are...mine,” he growled as he came closer, “and I think it’s about time I reminded you of that.”

  I took the last step I could before I backed into the wall, trapped. His breath was hot and fevered with anger as he stood fuming in front of me. His nose ran down my jaw and to my neck. My body rolled with nausea when his hands came to rest on either side of my head, his mouth against my ear. “You really are a whore, aren’t you? Do you know what you smell like?”

  I shrank away as he continued to move, his hands roaming over my body. He breathed over me, pushing into me, trying to reclaim me.

  I became desperate, frantic, my defenses finally kicking in. I pushed him back and struggled to get away, crying out, begging him to stop. But it only made it worse when he saw what I wore on my left ring finger.

  “What...the...fuck...is...that?” he spit through clenched teeth, enraged as his hand came up and twisted in my hair, yanking hard. I shrieked when the other came to the collar of my shirt, the cloth ripping from top to bottom as he tore through it. His hand flew to the button of my pants and he struggled to break it free.

  Tears flowed as I slumped against the wall, powerless, my soul crying out as I begged for Daniel. Please save me.

  It was as if the energy broke through the hopelessness, a quiet voice somewhere in the recesses of my mind.

  Fight!

  But I heard it.

  I gathered all the courage I could find and fought with everything I had, kicking and hitting and clawing and screaming. The sudden attack was not enough to hurt Nicholas, but enough of a surprise to allow me to break free of his grip. I dodged under his arms, escaping down the only open path and into the kitchen.

  He was right behind me and knocked me to the floor when he struck me from behind. The sound of my hands and knees smacking against the floor echoed through the room. My face made its own protest as it met the marble tiles. Blood saturated my mouth.

  Nicholas wrapped his hand around my calf, the blood pouring from my mouth and smearing across the floor as he pulled me back.

  He flipped me over,
hitting me hard across the face. “You stupid bitch!”

  He held me down, his hand splayed out across my chest, the pressure of his weight suffocating as he struggled with his pants. Still, I fought, trying to kick and break free. He grabbed a handful of hair, lifted my head, and smashed it against the floor. The pain was splitting, staggering, and nearly sucked me into darkness.

  Still the voice was there, ringing through the pain, deafening.

  Fight!

  And I wanted to—so badly. I struggled, flailed, sunk my teeth into the flesh of Nicholas’s arm. I barely felt the fist that landed on my cheek. Darkness gathered at the edges of my consciousness. I tried to hang on, but the shadows took hold, spread.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  I rushed to the office, signed a few documents, and was back in my car in less than ten minutes. Traffic was light and I was on the highway in no time, racing toward Nicholas’s house, on my way to finally bring my girl home.

  My heart tightened, overjoyed with that thought. She was actually coming home. Tonight we’d sleep together in our bed. To think that after all this time, after so much pain, our lives would be completely joined together.

  Melanie’s spirit wound itself around me—squeezed and constricted. I smiled at the sensation, yet somehow felt compelled to rub my chest to ease some of the pressure that had settled there.

  It was heavy and—wrong.

  I shook my head and tried to shake it off.

  Raking a hand through my hair, I glanced at the clock, urging the distance away.

  I pressed down the accelerator a little further. Agitation raced through my veins, spurring me on, driving me faster.

  Fight!

  I didn’t know where the word came from, but suddenly it was there, and I was voicing it aloud in the car.