Bent not Broken

by Lisa De Jong

  “And you look like her too,” Ava says. “Almost identical.”

  I keep a small-framed picture on my nightstand of my mom and me. I catch Ava looking at it occasionally.

  “I think so too. Do you think that’s why he hates me?” I ask. “Because I look so much like her?”

  She squeezes my arm. Ava knows I’m referring to my dad.

  “He doesn’t hate you,” I hear Gabe say from behind us. Ava and I simultaneously turn our heads to see him walking toward us.

  “Well, maybe he doesn’t hate me, but he doesn’t care much about me.”

  “Look, I can only tell you what I see.” He sits down on the other side of me. “He loves you, Jess. He just has a really shitty way of showing you. I think losing your mom destroyed him. He knew that having you stay with us was what you needed, the stability of a family and siblings. We were a surrogate family for you, and he drowned himself in work as a coping mechanism. I guarantee you that man would lay down his life for you; he just doesn’t know how to show you that.”

  Giant tears are rolling down my face as I absorb his view of my relationship, or lack thereof with my dad. I see Ava wipe tears from her cheeks too.

  “I didn’t mean for this to get all emotional.” I laugh and swipe at the tears, trying to lighten the mood.

  Lifting her head, Ava wipes her cheeks again. “Just because I’m moving doesn’t mean I’ll forget about you. I will miss your sassy ass every single day.” She smacks my thigh and stands up. “And you have Gabe here to keep you, uh…busy.” She winks at me.

  “Good night, you guys. I’ll see you tomorrow,” Ava says quietly, leaving me alone with Gabe.

  “Night, Ava.”

  “Night, sissy,” Gabe responds.

  We sit in silence for a few minutes, just watching the fire. Gabe’s fingers are laced through mine. He brings my hand to his lips a couple of times placing small kisses across the top of my hand, and on each knuckle.

  “You okay?” he asks.

  “Yeah, sorry. I didn’t think I would cry, but talking about it is still hard.”

  “You have every right to be upset. I can’t imagine what it would be like to lose my mom.”

  Leaning in, I press my lips to his and taste a slight hint of the beer he had been drinking minutes before.

  “Thank you.”

  “For what?” he asks.

  “For loving me.”

  “I’ll never not love you.” Those words melt me a little more every time he says them. I press another kiss to his mouth, this one a bit deeper and more aggressive.

  “I’m ready to go,” I whisper against his lips.

  He pulls my hand and nearly drags me across the street to my house, clearly ready to cash in on the alone time I promised him earlier. Shuffling into the house, I lock the door behind him and he is already down the hall and headed to the bedroom. I take over the bathroom to start getting ready for bed, tossing my clothes into the laundry hamper.

  Looking at myself in the mirror as I’m rinsing face wash off of me, I see Gabe squeeze in and plant himself directly behind me. Resting his chin on my shoulder, he watches me finish washing my face and removing my make-up.

  “What?” I ask, noticing the serious look on his face.

  “I’m the luckiest man in the world, you know that, right?”

  “You are, babe. You have so much happening for you right now, and I’m so proud of you. A few more tests and you’ll be finished with school and then you can finally apply for a full-time position at the station. My dad is dying to bring you on.” I turn and kiss him.

  “Yes, that makes me happy, but I’m the luckiest man in the world because I have you.” He rubs the side of my cheek with his hand.

  God, this man knows what to say. Pushing me back gently against the bathroom counter, he presses his lips to mine while his hands skillfully catch the hem of my pink tank top, lifting it up and over my head. Sliding his hands from my shoulders, he finds my breasts, pinching both nipples, causing a slight moan.

  “Like that?” he asks.

  “Mmm hmm.” I lean into him.

  His lips move from my cheek, down to my neck, where he spends time kissing and nipping me. I feel his hands slide down my sides and over my hips, and he hooks his fingers in the top of my pink panties and pulls them down just past my hips, where they fall to my feet. As he lifts me onto the bathroom counter, his lips never leave my neck.

  He positions himself between my legs, and I instinctively wrap them around his waist. He rests his hands just inside both of my thighs. Lightly circling his fingers, his hands move closer to my naked core. His fingers brush the sensitive skin of my labia, wasting no time finding where they intend to be. Running his fingers through my already wet lips, his thumb finds that sweet spot. I gasp loudly as my head falls backwards and I feel the tingling sensation take over me.

  “Oh God,” I mumble as his fingers find my entrance. Gently, he presses two fingers into me.

  “Jesus,” he groans, pulling his fingers out of me and dropping his boxer briefs to the floor. Pulling me forward to the very edge of the bathroom counter, he positions himself at my center and presses into me. I moan at the intense pressure as he fills me. Slowly, he moves in and out, nearly pulling himself completely out with each thrust. Every time I’m just about to peak, he slows his pace, this time stopping entirely.

  “Don’t stop,” I beg. “Please.”

  My legs still wrapped around his waist, he pulls me from the counter, walking us to my bedroom. Bending over, he lies us down on the bed, never once separating us. Grabbing both of my hands, he places them up above my head and holds them there with one hand. Slowly, he begins to move in and out of me in perfect rhythm. I can feel my walls clenching as he brings me close to climax, but I’m not ready to go there yet.

  Without thinking, I whisper loudly, “Stop!”

  He stills. “Babe, what’s wrong?”

  He sounds nervous, and his body tenses. My legs are hitched around his waist, holding him in place on top of me.

  Giggling, I say, “Nothing, I’m just not ready come yet.”

  He drops his head with a sigh.

  “You scared me. I thought I was hurting you.”

  “I want to go on top,” I whisper against his lips, unhitching my legs from around him. They fall widely, and he sits back, still inside me. He pulls my legs up over his shoulders, and thrusts himself forward, filling me. Doing it again, the pressure is intense, and once again, brings me close to the edge when he suddenly stops completely.

  “Gabe, please…I’m not…ready….”

  “That’s what you get for scaring me.” He thrusts again, this time pulling out of me. He drops my legs from his shoulders and lies down on his back while I position myself on top of him.

  Bending forward, I press a kiss to his lips as I settle on top of him and slowly slide down, filling myself with every inch of him. It feels so different from this angle.

  “Mmmm,” he groans.

  I place my hands on his chest, slowly moving my hips up and down. My breath quickens at the feel of him inside of me from this position. He is so much deeper when I’m on top, and it’s an entirely different sensation. My pulse races with the different sensations my body is experiencing, and I can tell I’m not going to last much longer. Leaning back, I can feel him pressing against the very spot that is going to send me into ecstasy.

  “Gabe,” I breathe heavily. His large hands grip my hips tightly, forcing me up and down faster and harder. “I’m going to…”

  “Come with me,” he interrupts.

  Falling forward, I do. My release is intense as I rest my head on his shoulder, and I let my body recover while taking in the intoxicating scent of him. There is nothing more comforting than his masculine scent.

  “Babe, you can do that to me every day,” he says, pressing his lips to the side of my face. Still trying to catch my breath, I slide off of him, rolling to lie on my back beside him.

  “Babe?”
Gabe asks.

  “Yeah,” I say with my eyes closed, my breathing still sporadic.

  “Look at me.”

  Rolling my head to the side, I open my eyes.

  “I will love you every day for the rest of my life; never forget that.”

  “I love that you tell me this every day,” I whisper.

  “It’s because I mean it.”

  My eyes suddenly fill with tears. I’ve never felt like I belonged anywhere before, but in this exact moment, I know I belong with Gabe Garcia forever.

  ****

  Watching Ava pile her belongings into Mom and Dad’s car is bittersweet. Ava is headed to Stanford. I never doubted she’d get accepted with her grades and ambition. As she throws her last bag in the back seat, Gabe and I stand on the driveway, his arms wrapped around me from behind. She walks over to us, and my eyes fill with tears, my heart hanging heavy.

  “You take care of my girl.” Ava smiles and winks at him. He nods his head, trying not to get emotional like me. Wiping the tears from my face with the back of my hand, I try to compose myself.

  “And you take care of my big brother,” she says, walking over and placing herself in front of me.

  “I will,” I whisper.

  “I’m so glad you have each other,” she says quietly, looking down at her feet. “And I’ll see you in a couple of weeks, right?”

  Nodding my head, the tears continue to fall. My chin begins to quiver as my throat tightens up. She pulls me out of Gabe’s arms and into a hug; we just hold each other for a minute. Selfishly, I don’t want to let my best friend go.

  “I love you, Ava.”

  “Love you too,” she whispers.

  “Get your ass in your car. Mom and Dad are watching us like we’re a bunch of lunatics,” I choke out, wiping more tears. Ava turns and walks to her car and Gabe pulls me back to him, wrapping his arms around me as I bury my head in his chest.

  “Bye, Ava,” Gabe says in a quiet whisper.

  Peeking at her, I see her throw her oversized sunglasses on, flashing us her biggest smile as she backs out of the driveway. Waving goodbye to each other, I blow Ava a kiss, while Gabe smiles at me and wipes my tears as I reach out to hug him again.

  “What am I going to do with you?” he says, laughing at me.

  “God, I’m going to miss her.”

  “Me too.” He tightens his hug. “How about we stay in, order Chinese take-out, and watch The Goonies.”

  I can’t help but laugh. “The Goonies, huh?”

  “It’s my favorite.”

  “It’s a date,” I say before I kiss him.

  Chapter 12

  Gabe

  “Slow down,” I order her.

  “We’re only thirty miles out,” she squeals, speeding up even more.

  “You’re not going to be happy when you have a two-hundred-dollar speeding ticket.” Scoffing at me, she smiles and lets off the gas just slightly.

  “I can’t wait to see her. So, you’re sure she thinks we’re coming next weekend?” she asks, tapping her hands on the steering wheel to the beat of a Train song on the radio. We decided to surprise Ava by coming up a weekend early. I dial Ava’s number from Jess’ cell, putting it on speakerphone.

  “I’m a terrible liar,” she whispers as the phone is ringing.

  “Hey, Jess!” Ava answers.

  “Hey, you. How’s it going?”

  “Good. Just headed back to the dorms after my last class. Remind me never to take a three o’clock class on Friday afternoons ever again.”

  “Big plans for the weekend?” Jess inquires.

  “No; just studying. Adrian was going to try to come up this weekend, but he had to cancel. Something about his aunt being sick.”

  “That sucks. We can’t wait to see you next weekend.” Jess smiles, looking over at me. We pass a sign that says “Palo Alto ten miles.”

  Jess talks to Ava for the next fifteen minutes as we weave ourselves through the sprawling campus toward Ava’s dorm. Finding a visitor spot, Jess kills the engine, gasping as she points toward a bench that sits just outside the large double doors of Ava’s dorm. Sitting on the bench, on her phone, is Ava. Hurrying out of the car, we head toward Ava, who is paying no attention to the hosts of people coming and going around her.

  “Look up,” I hear Jess tell Ava.

  “Oh. My. God,” Ava screams, jumping from the bench and wrapping herself around Jess. Both girls are jumping and screaming, and I’m slightly embarrassed at the outburst that’s happening right in front of me. Bending down, I pick up Ava’s phone that she’s dropped.

  “I can’t believe you guys are here.”

  “We decided to surprise you. Did it work?”

  “Is the Pope Catholic? Of course it worked.”

  As I watch these two talk, it feels like time has stood still. They fall back into old patterns of completing each other’s sentences, gossiping, and joking around with each other, all within minutes of seeing each other.

  “You look good,” Jess says, reaching out to touch Ava’s hair. “The light brown makes your eyes stand out.”

  “That’s what my stylist said. It’s different, but I like it.” She shrugs and runs her fingers through her hair. “Want to see my room?” Jess looks over to me as if she is looking for my approval.

  “Oh, hey, Gabe.” Ava walks over and places a kiss on my cheek.

  “That’s all I get? Oh, hey,” I joke with her.

  “Shut up. You know I love you,” she says, picking up her bag, which is overflowing with books. “Let’s go.”

  She walks to the double doors, and Jess and I follow. For the next two hours, we see Ava’s room, take a short tour of the campus, and end up having dinner at a small sushi joint just off campus.

  “So what do you want to do while you’re here?” Ava asks, dropping a spicy tuna roll on the table since she can’t figure out how to use chopsticks. I’m actually hesitant to tell them, but there is something I’d really like to do.

  “So, uh…tomorrow, I was wondering if maybe we could catch the football game?” I know that neither of the girls are big football fans, but this would mean a lot to me, so I ask anyway. Jess and Ava seem to communicate through their eyes. No one says anything, and Jess sets her chopsticks down.

  “You miss it, don’t you?” she asks.

  Nodding my head, I inhale a deep breath. “I do. Since Arizona is playing here this weekend, it kind of makes me miss it more,” I answer truthfully. “I’ve played in this stadium twice, so I would like to catch the game if you are both interested, but I completely understand if you aren’t.”

  Jess reaches out her hand and grabs mine, giving it a squeeze, while Ava studies me.

  “What?” I ask her.

  “Do you regret not going back for your senior year?”

  “No, I don’t regret it. I just miss it sometimes.” Ava and Jess continue their non-verbal communication with each other until Ava finally ends my misery.

  “Let’s plan on it.” She smiles, picking up another tuna roll, this time with her fingers. “But you owe me.” She raises her eyebrows and shoves the roll in her mouth.

  “Thanks.” A small wave of excitement washes over me. “By the way, you’re so gross. Use a fork.” I shake my head and laugh at my sister.

  “Fuck off. They don’t have forks, and these little pieces of wood don’t work for shit.” She tosses her chopsticks at me, causing Jess to laugh uncontrollably.

  “Some things never change,” I say, shaking my head.

  It’s nice to see Ava and Jess both happy and laughing, and I’m excited and a little anxious to see the football game tomorrow. Leaving U of A was one of the toughest decisions I’ve ever made, but I know it was the right decision. Pulling out my cell phone, I send a quick text message to Coach, letting him know I’m in town and would like to say “hello.”

  I notice Jess yawning, and realize that it’s after eleven. We’ve been sitting here for hours, talking and catching up. Leaning toward he
r, I wrap her hand in mine and whisper, “Ready to call it a night?”

  She nods, and I notice how tired she looks. “So what time should we pick you up tomorrow?” I ask my sister, who’s playing on her phone, probably texting Adrian. Without even looking up, she answers.

  “Ten thirty. We have to get tickets and the game starts at noon. Don’t be late or you won’t be seeing shit tomorrow,” she says so eloquently. God, I miss my snarky sister.

  “You two ready?” I ask, knowing damn well Jess is going to fall asleep if we don’t leave now.

  Walking to the car, the girls are whispering to each other and giggling. I swear it’s like they’ve reverted back to being twelve years old. I can’t help but smile as I watch those two. The car ride to Ava’s dorm is quiet as Ava is still playing on her phone and Jess is trying to stay awake. We pull up to the large brick dormitory and Ava hops out. “Thanks for dinner,” she says, sticking her back in the car before shutting the door. “Remember, ten thirty. Don’t be late.”

  I pull into a parking spot at the hotel and kill the engine. Jess fell asleep just minutes after we dropped Ava off. Her head hangs slightly to the side against the headrest. I love watching her sleep. Leaning in, I press a light kiss to her soft lips, which wakes her.

  “We’re here baby,” I whisper against her lips.

  “Mmm,” she hums against my lips, kissing me back.

  “Let’s get you to bed. We have a big day tomorrow.” I say, unbuckling her seat belt. She rubs her eyes and reaches for her purse before opening the door. I meet her in front of my truck and take her hand to lead her inside. She curls herself into my side as the late fall air is cool and damp and we walk briskly to the entrance of the hotel.

  Settling into our room, Jess heads immediately for the bed. She kicks off her shoes before throwing herself on top of the comforter. I unpack our overnight bags and finally settle into the bed, wrapping myself around her. I feel her wiggle out of my arms as I notice the sun peeking through the curtains.

  “What time is it?” I ask with a groggy voice.

  “Eight thirty. I didn’t mean to wake you. I’m going to take a quick shower, go back to sleep for a bit.” She disappears into the bathroom, juggling her clothes and toiletries in her arms. A small wave of anxiety rolls through me when I think about watching my old teammates hit the football field today, and I can say I’m slightly jealous that I’m not on that field.