Bent not Broken

by Lisa De Jong

  I’m just outside of Bardstown, Kentucky. At the old Harrison plantation. In a month, we’ll be opening up a bed and breakfast here called The Magnolia Inn. If you ever want to see her, I will never ever deny you.

  Caroline

  Chapter 24

  Blessed Distraction

  The Magnolia Inn is thriving. We’ve filled all five of the Inn bedrooms for the last twelve weekends. And some of those have been filled throughout the week, too. I keep it spotless and help check people in and out. When I’ve done the cleaning and laundry for the day, I work on the garden with Papa. The guests are raving about the dishes Ruby makes. She swears that the vegetables and fruit from our garden are what makes everything so tasty. She cooks a fancy breakfast every morning and also supper Friday and Saturday night and Sunday afternoon.

  Our flowers fill every room. I do a huge arrangement for the living room and dining room every five days or so. Ruby says that might be my calling.

  Gracie floats in and out, charming everyone with her sunshine. She stays by my side most of the day, dragging Dolly along as “we” clean.

  Papa and I usually enjoy an early breakfast to ourselves each day, out on the screened-in porch. We like to have this time together, before all the strangers start coming out of the woodwork. Although, we get a kick out of seeing them long enough to see if they’re crazy or not. Most are on the eccentric side—I don’t know if that’s common for bed and breakfasters or what, but they give us lots of material to laugh over each morning.

  After a second cup of coffee, Papa clears his throat. “Caroline girl, I’ve been worried about you.”

  “Why, Papa?”

  “You just haven’t been your perky self for a while now. Everything okay? You regrettin’ doin’ this Inn? Is it too much?”

  “No, I’m loving it. I really am. Does it seem like I don’t?”

  He just studies me.

  “I’m tired is all, that’s probably it,” I assure him.

  “You sure? Nothing else?”

  “Well,” I take a deep breath and try to keep my voice from shaking, “actually...I did write him a letter, Papa. I told him all about Gracie and even that I still love him…”

  I can’t say his name out loud. Papa takes my hand and pats it, waiting for me to come out with it.

  “And nothing. Not one word.” I study the ceiling intently. I will not cry.

  Papa exhales a large gust of air and reaches up to smooth his eyebrows. It’s what he does when he doesn’t know what to say.

  “I sent it the day after Gracie’s birthday, before I could lose my nerve.”

  “That was three months ago!” He looks as shocked as I’ve felt all these months.

  “I know. I never dreamed he wouldn’t respond. It’s so—unlike him. I don’t even know what to think.”

  “From all you’ve told me about him, I have to admit that it shocks me too,” he says. “You’re sure he got it?”

  “I guess so. I mean, it hasn’t been returned or anything.”

  “Yeah, it would have surely been returned had he not been there to get it.”

  Our conversation sits in my chest all day, nagging me. It’s been hard to get away from it all these months. I’ve been so glad the Inn has been keeping me so busy, otherwise, this would have crushed me. I’m not surprised that Isaiah has moved on, but I never expected him to not want anything to do with his daughter. The more I think about it, the angrier I get.

  That night I write him again. I don’t send it until another month passes where I still don’t hear from him.

  Isaiah,

  I expected you to be upset with me, but I never expected this.

  You’re not who I thought you were. You don’t deserve the privilege of knowing my little girl.

  If you wanted to shut off my love for you, you’ve succeeded.

  Caroline

  I didn’t think it would help, but it does. I’m so angry with him that it propels me into a whirlwind of motion. I get things done. And I don’t cry a single tear for him again.

  ****

  We’ve had some real characters at the Inn. This week Hal Manning arrived. He had only been here half a day and we were wishing he’d pass on through. Yesterday was his fourth night, and I check the roster as soon as I go downstairs to see how much longer he’s planning to stay. I audibly groan when I realize we have three more nights with him and then I look around to see if anyone heard me. Nope, free and clear.

  I have my breakfast early and then help with serving the guests. Hal comes past the time we’ve allotted and plops down in front of the only clean place setting while I’m still clearing off the table from our other five guests.

  His polyester suit is at least two sizes too small. His neck fat bulges out over his collar, making me need to take deep breaths just thinking about being squeezed up in something so tight all day. He picks up his cloth napkin and wipes all the sweat off his forehead, upper lip, and neck, doing a final sweep up around his hairline.

  I swallow.

  “You’ve missed breakfast,” I tell him.

  It’s happened the last four mornings and this morning Ruby huffed, “I ain’t doing no mo favors for Hal Manning! He can get hisself up to eat when it’s time or go down to Shelby’s later!”

  He just stares at me and pushes up his thick glasses. “I paid for breakfast and I want my breakfast.”

  “Breakfast ended at 10 o’clock, Mr. Manning. I’m sorry you’ve missed it today.”

  He grits his teeth and turns red. “I don’t care if it’s 11! If I paid for breakfast, I want breakfast!”

  I mentally tick off how many times he’s said breakfast.

  “Shelby’s down on Main will be serving breakfast all day.”

  “This is ridiculous. I travel fifty weeks out of the year and I can tell you, this is ridiculous!”

  He gets up and throws down the sweaty napkin and hobbles off, mad. I know he’ll be calling within the hour requesting more towels in his room (probably to wipe off all his sweat, yuck). I try to catch him before he gets to the stairs.

  “Here are some extra towels, Mr. Manning. I know you li-”

  “Extra towels does not equal breakfast,” he spits out.

  I’m aware of that. I think anyone with a brain would be aware of that fine fact.

  Out loud I say, “Quite right you are. Have a good day, Mr. Manning.”

  Later, I tell Ruby about the whole exchange and we have a good laugh over coconut cream pie.

  “I’d like a fresh white towel with cream, please,” I say to get her laughing all over again.

  She leans over and slaps her knee with her hand, laughing. “Extra butter on my towels…”

  “Can I get some syrup with that towel?” I say between breaths. “And a towel sausage patty?”

  Papa saunters into the kitchen to us howling. “What is going on in here?” He chuckles.

  “Would you like an omelet towel, Papa?”

  We lose it then, while Papa just shakes his head, looking amused. “Lord sakes, what did I miss?”

  ****

  Fiona has come once a week since the Inn opened. Every time she comes she says she just needs to get away for a night, but I think she’s lonely in her big old house and likes our company.

  “Caroline, this is the best coffee cake. I just can’t make it like this.”

  “Ruby is the best cook in the whole wide world,” I boast.

  “I’m inclined to agree,” Fiona says with a smile. “I’m bringing my grandson Bobby with me next time I come.”

  She says this every time. He has yet to come.

  “Bobby would think you’re a looker, all right.”

  She also says this every time. And I change the subject every time.

  “Would you like some coffee to carry out to the garden? It’s a pretty day out there.”

  “He always has a book on him, just like you.”

  And it never works.

  “One can never have too many books.” I sm
ile at her.

  “You think you’d go out with him, Caroline? He needs a good girl like you.”

  She studies my wild hair as she says it and I can see her mentally straightening it out once she has me hitched to her grandson.

  “No, I don’t really date,” I tell her. “Now, I better get to work on that garden. Can I get you anything else before I head outside?”

  “You better start if you want to have a family!” Fiona insists.

  She slowly gets up from her chair and weakly pushes it to the table. She’s a tiny thing.

  “I already have one.” I give her arm a squeeze. “In fact, I better get to my daughter right now,” I throw in for good measure.

  “You have a daughter? I didn’t know you were married!” Fiona looks shocked and dismayed. “Where’s your husband?” She looks around, like he’ll suddenly appear out of the crown molding.

  “I’m not,” I say quietly. “But I’ve got Gracie—you’ve probably seen her running around here, although we do try to keep her out of the guests’ way.”

  I see it in her eyes when it registers.

  “Oh,” she says. “Oh.” She takes a step back. “I thought she was Ruby’s grandbaby or something,” she says softly.

  “Well, she pretty much is,” I say.

  Her lip curls up and she looks at me with disgust. “Well, first of all, I feel physically sick for all the times I’ve thought you would be a nice girl for my Bobby,” she says. She shakes her head and looks like she just might vomit at the thought. “But second…you oughtta be ashamed of yourself—getting on with some colored boy like that, bringing a child into your sin…it’s just wrong! What a horrible mother, to bring a child into a world that will just be confused their whole life of where they really belong…which is nowhere.”

  I double over when she says that. It physically takes my breath away and I can’t get it back. When she walks out of the room, I slide onto the floor and hold my head in my hands, trying to make sense of what just happened. I wish I could say her words just bounced off of me, like a penny pinging off the sidewalk. Bounce, bounce, bounce. But they don’t. Not the things she said about me—I left my pride in the fields long ago—but about my baby. God, I hope she isn’t right.

  Gracie runs in the room just then or I might have continued my downward spiral. She sees me on the floor and crawls right in my lap.

  “I love you, baby. Listen to Mama. You belong to me. You are just what I needed. And what Papa and Ruby needed. And I will always be helpin’ you find your place. Do you hear me?”

  I hug her until she squirms. She grins from ear to ear and pats my cheeks and then she’s off again.

  I finally get up and mentally shake off my shame. There’s no time for that. There’s too much to do.

  Fiona checks out by 11 and that’s the last time we see her.

  ****

  I haven’t tried to keep the truth about Gracie a secret, but I haven’t gone out of my way to draw attention to her either. It’s a sorrow that will always follow me, because I will never understand it. Never. And now I have a little one to protect. Every day I kiss her face and tell her I love her beautiful brown skin. I tell her she’s beautiful and just the way God made her—perfect. And after the Fiona episode, I’ve added in that she belongs. Just in case she ever doubts it.

  But it’s a physical pain in my body that occurs every single time anyone says one word against my child. It hurts more than all the other painful things I’ve gone through put together…I guess that’s what it’s really like to be a mama. I never knew it would be that way.

  The underground passageway Papa showed me that day serves as a reminder that there are people out there with twisted thoughts. And they might be dressed up in a nice suit or a pretty dress. They might be people at church or the old lady who works at the corner mart. Sadly, they might even be a friend.

  But then there are people like Papa and Ruby, who have so much love in them. Their hearts are color-blind.

  ****

  Davis Jones comes looking for work one gorgeous October morning. I’ve never seen him around town before, but he says he’s lived in Bardstown all his life. He looks to be around my age, give or take a year or two. We make small conversation and then he gets to the point.

  “Do you have work, by any chance? I can do anything you don’t want to do around your property,” he tells Papa.

  Papa looks at me.

  “Those things are startin’ to add up,” he says.

  We’ve been talking about needing to hire an extra hand for some of those things.

  “I can fix anything, make it look and run good as new. Paint, uh…well, just whatever, I can do it,” he stops awkwardly and clears his throat. “I added the new patio over at Shelby’s…”

  “Oh, that looks real nice!” Papa perks up. “Real nice. You did a fine job!”

  I give Papa a subtle nod. I have a good feeling about Davis. I can tell Papa does too.

  “Do we have enough work to keep him busy, Caroline girl?”

  “Yes, sir, there’s the doors in those two bedrooms that need to close right and some painting around the house. We’ve talked about extending our patio too, but we might need to wait until next spring for that,” I tell Davis. “However…Papa—four-season porch!”

  His eyes light up. He’s been dreaming about turning the screened porch into a four-season porch since our first breakfast out there.

  Papa throws his hand out to Davis and they shake on it.

  “Job’s yours,” Papa says.

  Davis does the outside tour with Papa and when they come back in they’re ready for coffee. Ruby meets Davis then, and as soon as the cake comes out of the oven, Gracie’s head pops out of the little playroom we’ve set up off the kitchen.

  “Gracie, this is Davis. Can you say hi to Davis?”

  “Hi-to-Davis,” she says in one breath.

  He leans down and shakes her hand. “Hi Gracie. I like your name.”

  “I yike yoah name,” she repeats. Or maybe she means it. “Mama? I sit Todavis?”

  We all laugh and then she does too.

  “It’s just Davis, baby, and yes, I think he will let you sit by him.”

  Davis shyly smiles at us both and nods. “I’d like that.”

  The five of us squeeze in at the kitchen table to have a bite of orange marmalade cake with our coffee.

  I think Davis will fit in around here just fine.

  ****

  Truth is, I don’t know what we ever did without Davis. It’s only been a few weeks and already he has filled a void we didn’t even know we had. He finishes projects quickly but not without precision. He takes pride in his work but doesn’t seem to need validation or direction, he just sees what needs to be done and does it.

  He’s a guy of few words, but the kindness is evident in everything he does say. And Gracie is crazy over him, so obviously he’s a good egg.

  He’s in the kitchen before me every morning. Ruby won him over with that cake and right away, she knew she had someone else she loved to feed. He might be the only one who can out-eat me, that remains to be seen. We haven’t had a boiled shrimp dinner together yet.

  This morning when Gracie and I come in, she hops out of my arms and runs to sit between Davis and Papa. They love on her and she eats it up.

  I dish up some scrambled eggs and set the plate in front of her. I’m getting my plate ready and pouring coffee when I look back at the table. Papa and Davis have papers in front of them. “What are y’all workin’ on?”

  They look at each other guiltily and my eyes narrow. “What are you up to?”

  “Well, I thought about just doing it as a surprise, but that’s probably not gonna work since you’re so nosy.” Papa laughs and wipes his eyes. “Davis is gonna work on the attic, Caroline. I’ve had somethin’ cookin’, but want to know if you like the idea.”

  He has me all curious now.

  “Spill it!”

  “Well, what do you think about makin
g that for you and Gracie up there? It would give you so much space and you’d have the ceilings you like so much.”

  He grins at me when my mouth drops open.

  I poured over magazine after magazine with him while we were getting ready to open the Inn. Attic ceilings are my favorite thing in the world.

  “I would love that!” Tears fill my eyes and I get embarrassed then. “Thank you. Are you sure?”

  “Of course I’m sure. It won’t take much to get it fixed up. It’s already insulated pretty well. There’s room enough for several bedrooms up there, so you and Gracie will have lots of space. And we can go through all the things up there in the next week or so before Davis gets started on the floor. That is gonna be a job.”

  I shake my head. “You’re something else.” I go over and hug his neck and wipe my tears before they fall in his hair. “Thank you, Papa.”

  “Oh, I’d do anything for my girls.” He pulls Gracie into our hug.

  Ruby pats my back and smiles at me. “Who woulda thought we’d find a family like this?”

  I reach over and hug her. The tears keep coming. “God must have known we needed a do-over!”

  “Speaking of Caroline’s room, Ruby, I was thinking you’d probably like to move into that one…give you more room too.”

  Ruby looks at me and then Papa and back to me. And then she starts to blubbering.

  “I ain’t never had so much love in all my life. I am filled to the tips of my toes with all the goodness,” she cries. “I love the room I’s in. It’s the most beautiful room I ever did have. I wouldn’t know what to do with all that space in hers,” she cries. “But the fact that you said it, Dr. H, that means the world to me. It do.”

  “Well, maybe if you moved to Caroline’s old room, Davis here could move into yours…” Papa looks at Davis with his eyebrows raised.

  Davis looks up with a stunned expression. His top lip gives a little tremble. Oh my, we’re a mess this morning.