Bent not Broken

by Lisa De Jong

  “Yes, Ms. Claire,” she says as she exchanges a knowing look with me. I love that woman. She may be my parents’ live in housekeeper, but she’d been there for me more than my mother ever had.

  “Bradford went to law school at Ole Miss. He practices entertainment law and does quite well. He’s never been married and is thirty-five,” I spit out.

  “Ole Miss,” she replies with contempt. “Are you two serious?” she asks. I roll my eyes again. Let’s focus on the fact that he went to a rival college, shall we?

  “They haven’t even kissed,” Bonnie offers.

  “Thanks, Bon,” I say sarcastically.

  “Why haven’t you kissed?” Farah asks. “He obviously likes you. Do you not feel the same?”

  I busy myself with taking Adrian’s ranch out of the refrigerator. I can’t believe my mother hadn’t thrown it out. It was a good question. One I, unfortunately, didn’t have the answer to. I couldn’t tell them that when I was with Bradford I felt like I was cheating on Adrian. How could you cheat on someone you couldn’t be with? “We’re taking it slow,” I reply. “That’s why he drove out with Louis, and we’re kind of keeping our distance. I want the boys to get to know him on a non-threatening level for a bit before I introduce him as someone I am dating.”

  “I think that’s wise,” Farah says. Bonnie knowingly cuts her eyes at me.

  “Well, in my day, there was none of this sneaking around and taking time sort of thing. You were either together or you weren’t,” my mother says.

  “We’re not sneaking around, Mother. And it’s different. I have young, impressionable children depending on me. I have to be careful.”

  “Dear, I know it may seem strange because Tripp and he are brothers, but have you considered William?” My movements freeze upon hearing William’s name. He was out there somewhere today on this very property. It’s part of the reason I didn’t want to be here. But it was our annual Labor Day celebration, so I felt obligated to attend. Slowly, my eyes search out Bonnie’s and she gives me a sympathetic smile. “Celeste?” My mother prompts. It had been three days, and I still hadn’t told Bonnie about William’s latest endeavors to win me over. I was so embarrassed. “I mean who better to rear Tripp’s children than his own brother?” My eyes shoot over to my mother’s, and I see eyes that mirror mine in color and shape. I could only pray that that look had never been exuded from mine—cold, calculating, shrewd, manipulative.

  “Mother—” I’m cut off by the boys excited voices heading this way. “I don’t want to talk about him, Mother, not now, not ever. Do you understand?”

  My mother gives a jaded, little laugh. “Really, Celeste, that was—”

  “I mean it, Mother. Don’t.”

  About that time, the boys reach the kitchen; and I’m distracted by Adrian removing a clinging Paris from his back. I give him a relieved smile that is short-lived when a fast-moving Finn barrels into my shin. I cry out in sheer pain as my recent injury throbs with a beating pulse. I spin toward the windows and stare out unseeing, trying desperately to control the pain coursing through my leg, the tears in my eyes, and the perspiration that has gathered on my forehead.

  Maureen is at my elbow in a second. “Celeste, you all right, sweetie?” I just nod.

  “I’m sorry, Mom,” Finn apologizes and rubs my back soothingly. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I didn’t hit you that hard, did I?”

  I pinch my lips together. I want to assure him that I’m OK, but I’m not and know if I open my mouth I may start sobbing. So I take a deep breath, nod my head at him, and turn to take him in, but as I do, Archer’s terrified expression catches me off guard, and a furious one from Adrian soon distracts me from Archer. Adrian slowly leans up from his folded stance over Archer. His gaze never leaves mine. And I know. I know that Archer has divulged our little secret. One that I hadn’t asked him to keep but had hoped that he would.

  Shaking my head at Adrian, I start to move toward him only to have him backing away from me. If I weren’t a stronger woman, I would have disintegrated into a pile of ash with his scorching look. He isn’t moving fast, so I don’t either. I just follow him out of the room, but when I hit the hallway, he is gone. I hear the side door slam, so I take off after him.

  As I hit the top step, I see him disappear into the barn. Launching myself down the steps, I wince with every jarring step; but I have to get to him. I sprint across the yard slinging the barn door open as I reach it. Wanting to maintain some privacy, I quickly close it behind me.

  Breathing hard and frozen in the middle of room, Adrian has his arms extended from his sides, but his eyes are frantically searching the room like he’s looking to exact more destruction. My eyes follow his to the disarray of shovels and axes and barrels and pitchforks. I’m impressed. He was able to do quite a bit of damage in the short time it took me to get over here.

  “Don’t come near me,” he says, his voice dripping with anger. Those eyes dark and troubled as an angry ocean train themselves somewhere over my head.

  “Adrian, I don’t know what Archer—”

  “He told me that William hurt you and that you told him William was not a nice person who’d be very sorry for what he did to you. But we both know that is bullshit. William will never be sorry for what he did on his own…but he will be sorry, Cel. That bastard will be very sorry,” he promises. His eyes finally focus on me, and I see understanding there. However, his menacing tone and his scathing look have me shivering.

  Being across the room from him is killing me. Without further hesitation, I launch myself at him. I hit him with such velocity he takes a step back to regain his footing. Wrapping me tightly in his strong arms, he drops his face and buries it in my hair. Breathing me in deeply, I feel him shudder under me; and I just hold on with everything I’ve got. I don’t know how long we stand there. Me comforting him. Him comforting me. Finally, he pulls back, his gaze still seething, he asks me the one thing I’d hoped he wouldn’t.

  “What exactly did he do to you? And don’t you dare think of lying to me and covering for him.”

  Nodding my head at him, I look up at what exists beyond the ceiling and pray that what I’m about to tell him won’t forever mar his opinion of me. Meeting his stare once again, I tell him without hesitation and without embellishment exactly what happened. I’m surprised I’m able to finish, for his arms tighten with every single, damning word I speak until I am breathless with my final words.

  His telling eyes have gone distant, and I know he is plotting vengeance. “Adrian, I handled it. Do you hear me? I hurt him. I bit his lip all the way through and hurt his…manhood. Do you understand? I took care of it.”

  Gazing out over my head again, he nods and releases his grasp on me a little. One hand comes back to smooth my wild hair down and behind my ear. His eyes focus on his actions. I savor the feel of his hand fisting itself in my hair. “I understand,” he assures me. Finally, he brings his deceitfully tranquil eyes back to mine. “But I’m gonna fucking beat the shit of him. Do you understand that?” he asks as he narrows his eyes.

  I sag with defeat. This is what I’d hoped to avoid. He releases me and calmly begins to right everything he had, just moments ago, thrown into disarray. His calm authority freaks me out more than his angry outburst. If that’s what he’d decided while he was calm, then that would, in all likelihood, be what he’d go with.

  “Adrian, don’t you think that would make an already bad situation worse? I mean, when he left my house, he was very clear about where he stands with me. He’s not going to approach me again.”

  He doesn’t answer me as he replaces the equipment to its proper place. Placing both of his hands on the wall around the tools, he stands there and breathes for a few minutes. I wait patiently for my logic to sink in. Finally, he turns and his eyes take me in from head to toe and back again until he meets my eyes. Ever so slowly, he strides toward me until he’s just a hair’s breadth from my face. I lick my lips and force my eyes to stay on his. He puts his h
ands on either side of my face and I brace.

  “Celeste, do you understand that what he did was assault? Sexual assault? Do you understand that he has no right to touch you like that? I understand that things get overlooked in this family. Chalked up to strong personalities and an overwhelming passion. But this will not be swept under the rug. You will not be forced to pretend this didn’t happen.”

  If he only knew the whole ugly truth of the matter, I’d never be able to talk him out of gaining revenge against William. Placing both my hands on his cheeks, I beg, “Please don’t do anything. I’ve handled it. He’s not going to mess with me again. Tripp would’ve let me handle this the way I wanted.”

  “Newsflash, I’m not Tripp. Never wanted to be but in one aspect. We are very different people.”

  I thought the Tripp comment would win him over. He admired him so much. But I should’ve known better. Adrian is a strong-willed person and, like he’d just reminded me, he didn’t do politics. Last ditch effort, I try, “As a favor to me, will you please leave it alone? I don’t want everyone to know about it. I would be humiliated.”

  He stares at me and I can see the battle raging in him. “Shit!” he roars and I know I’ve won. I relax and think to offer him gratitude when I hear the barn door being jostled open. They’re back. Adrian moves away from me, and I move in front of him.

  It’s all of them—my father, my father-law-in, my brothers, Tripp’s brothers, and Bradford. It looks as though the kids have already gone in, and I thank God for that little blessing. Now, get me through these next few minutes as I try to get us all out of here without it all going to hell.

  Louis breaks the awkward silence that has ensued by finding Adrian and me alone together. His brow is furrowed as he strides forth to stand in front of me. “What’s going on here? Celeste, are you all right?”

  I guess the tension was that thick because even Louis could feel it and he’d just arrived. I open my mouth to assure him and everyone else that everything was fine, but William beats me to the punch. “She told you,” he states. “Unbelievable. You won’t be happy until everyone hates me, will you?” He sneers the last comment at me and my eyes meet his. Unfortunately, his are trained on Adrian’s and I turn to take him in. Remember what I said about those expressive eyes? Well, they’re trained on William and William should be the pile of ash now. “I’m curious to see how you’ve twisted the story to make yourself seem like the victim?”

  “Told him what?” Louis asks me.

  He beats me to the punch again, and his words ignite a fire of indignation in me. “She told him that we fooled around. That things got a little out of hand. No worries, she put me in my place.” He walks around our fathers and stands behind Louis. “I don’t see how it’s any of your business what happens between me and Celeste anyway, Adrian. I’m pretty sure you agreed to—”

  “That’s enough,” Adrian barks and I can feel his anger radiating out from his chest and into my back as he moves closer to me. “And ‘what happened between you two’ comes nowhere near describing what you did to her.”

  Louis spins to face William. “What did you do to her?”

  “Nothing she didn’t like at first. I can’t help it if her regrets cause her to view things a little differently after the fact.”

  Adrian’s chest bumps my back with every word he fires at William. “You ass. You forced yourself on her. You fucking sicken me. You always have, but this goes beyond anything I’ve ever thought you capable of. And beyond forgiveness. You’ve pulled that shit for the last time, cousin.”

  William raises his eyebrows at Adrian and his eyes widen in disbelief. The four of us have ended up practically on top of one another. My eyes shoot to my father’s, imploring him to stop this, but he just stands there, transfixed by what is happening before him. I allow my eyes to drift over all the other male counterparts, and they’re all staring at me as though I’m the one causing all this drama and they’d like nothing more than to squash it— and me—out. When my eyes meet Bradford’s, I see tenderness and questions. I’m pulled from looking at them with William’s next words. “It wasn’t the first time she begged for it, cousin. And I can assure you it won’t be the last.”

  I barely let out a gasp as a fist slams into William’s face. It’s not the fist I’d expected, though. It’s Louis’s and he’s not stopping there. “Is that where you got your busted lip from, William?” Louis bellows as his next blow glances off of William’s chin. “You’re sick, man. I happen to know Celeste doesn’t want shit to do with you! You attacked her and you’re gonna pay.” Louis has William backed into a stall and is pummeling him before anyone can get to him and pull him off. The sickening thud of fist on face actually thrills me. The fact that William is getting the shit kicked out of him actually makes up for the mortification I was feeling about everyone knowing everything now.

  Adrian darts around me to pull Louis off of a slumping William. “He’s good, brother. Ya did good,” he congratulates him and pounds Louis on the back as he turns him and guides him out of the stall. When Louis reaches me, my eyes fill with tears and I throw myself at him.

  “Thank you,” I whisper. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.”

  Louis is breathing hard and he squeezes me tight as he assures me, “You didn’t do anything wrong, baby girl. That’s all on him. You’re going to put that behind you. You’ll be stronger for it.” He stops abruptly and leans back and narrows his eyes at me. “And you’re gonna tell me if he or anyone else ever tries that shit again. I know you’re my big sister, but it’s my job to look out for you.”

  “Louis,” I whisper as I wipe a little of William’s blood from his cheek.

  “What is going on in here? Everyone can hear you all.” My mother’s shrill voice cuts through our tender moment. The brothers Hebert are helping William out of the stall as my mother takes him in. “William, what happened to you?”

  “I had to teach William some manners, Mother. It seems he didn’t know how to keep his hands to himself where Celeste was concerned.”

  My mother’s eyes, currently shooting darts out of them, cut to me. “You told them. After all this time. You TOLD them,” she accuses.

  “No, Mother,” I try.

  But my father finally intervenes, “Everyone out! Now! Essential parties only.” Most everyone moves to leave. I feel Adrian close in on me again. “Adrian, you too. This doesn’t concern you.”

  “Everything about her concerns me,” he replies with quiet firmness. I thrill at his little declaration and I give him a little smile that, I hope, conveys my gratitude.

  My eyes shoot an apology over to Bradford as he turns to leave. He gives me a lingering look before his eyes glance over to Adrian and then back to me. I try for a tentative smile before focusing my attention back to the involved parties. After most everyone has exited, my father takes control of the situation, “How do you know about this, Claire?” my father demands.

  “They were very young,” she starts, “I told her that it was just normal teenage hormones and not to be alone with him for a while. Leave it to Celeste to dredge up old misunderstandings in a most melodramatic fashion.” Her cold resolve makes me shiver. She didn’t care then and she doesn’t care now. As that reality slaps me in the face yet again, I shake my head, dazed.

  “What are you talking about, Claire? This incident just transpired.”

  Finally, my mother looks shaken, but only because she’s just discovered that she’s ratted herself out. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  I move from Louis’s embrace and Adrian’s quiet support to stand before her. “They’re talking about the fact that William attacked me again, Mother. He forced me to get him off,” I spew, taking great pleasure in being so vulgar in her presence, “when I was twelve years old and he tried it again a few days ago. He didn’t get so lucky this time,” I sneer.

  My father’s steely voice slices the thick air in two. “You little bastard,” he says to William. “And h
ow dare you, woman? How dare you keep this from me and force our daughter to keep that secret.”

  “That’s not exactly—” William tries but one look from Louis has him cowering where he stands.

  “Don’t speak to me like that,” my mother says. “You know what I’ve endured for the sake of this family. And it’s quite sanctimonious of you to pretend otherwise.” Wow! I was really impressed with my mother for standing up to my father. He was one of the most intimidating men I knew. She must have something really good on him because he doesn’t say any more.

  Chip finally intervenes by telling William that he should leave and keep his distance for a while. How about forever! William storms out but not before kicking the recently rearranged barn tools to the ground. His brother and father follow him out.

  My father moves to stand in front of me. He places his hands on my upper arms and pulls me to him slightly. I get lost in his expression for a moment, mesmerized by the look of regret and compassion that I’m fairly certain I’ve never seen from him before. “Please know that we will deal with William. He will not hurt you again, and you won’t be forced to further endure his presence. Do you understand?”

  “Yes, Daddy,” I murmur, grateful, but is this really what it took for him to finally get it? “Thank you for supporting me.” It feels awkward to thank him for something that he should have done, but honestly, I was that surprised that he had sided with me. He just gives me a nod and leaves me with Louis and Adrian.

  Louis pulls me to his side and kisses the top of my head, rubbing his hand up and down my arm in silent support before he follows the rest of them.

  I’m afraid to look at Adrian. He knows the whole ugly truth. Will he see me as a damaged, defiled woman? One he has to tiptoe around and coddle? That would kill me. I like how unpredictable and unruly he is with me. Nothing needs to change between us. Wait! All that needs to change between us. Back to just friends. And not this twisted back and forth. Friends only! That’s the plan, right? I groan with frustration, and I hear him chuckle behind me. Yeah, I was totally lost in my own head for a minute there.