‘Remind me to never do this again!’ she said to Paige, before folding a slice of pizza in half and shoving most of it into her mouth. Paige uncorked their second bottle of wine and poured two generous mugs - the only receptacle they still had to hand. Paige handed Maya her mug before sitting down on the floor next to her.
‘Trust me, I wouldn’t let you do this again,’ Paige said, rubbing her lower back. The pair ate in silence, both of them too emotionally and physically tired to make idle conversation. Paige was looking aimlessly around the room when she spotted a card she recognised poking out from under one of the boxes. Reaching over, she dragged it out and smiled.
‘I can’t believe you kept this!’ she exclaimed.
‘Of course I did. It’s not often your best friend puts it in writing that she’s proud of you.’
‘You’d just got your first graduate job, why wouldn’t I have been proud of you?’
‘I know, sweetie, it’s just nice to have confirmation. You aren’t always forthcoming with your emotions, good or bad.’
‘I know. I’m working on it.’
‘Is Taylor helping you work on it?’ Maya teased. Paige shoved her friend, pushing her off her bubble wrap seat and onto the floor. Maya just giggled.
Once they had finished their pizza they forced themselves to keep packing, the sound of unravelling parcel tape making Paige feel a bit ill. They didn’t have a huge amount left to do; it was mainly the last fiddly bits that needed careful wrapping before being put into storage. Maya sighed as she taped up another box. When Paige had arrived Maya’s flat had been in chaos; she had started packing very haphazardly with no idea what was in any of the boxes she had already packed. Paige had made her re-open the boxes, write down what was inside, and then carefully label every one before taping it back up. Maya complained, but complied. Organisational systems were definitely one of Paige’s areas of expertise, so Maya had just let her take over. However, that meant they had been working non-stop for the best part of twelve hours.
Maya added her recently completed box to the pile, before turning to Paige. ‘Shall we go out?’
‘What?’ Paige said, not really listening. She was in the middle of writing on one of the boxes.
‘Let’s go out, get plastered, and deal with the rest of this tomorrow.’
‘Are you sure? There’s still quite a lot to do,’ Paige said, surveying the room.
‘I know, but to be honest I’m done for the night, so it’s either we go out or... I dunno... stare at the wall until we fall asleep.’ Maya gestured around her, highlighting the lack of anything they could do in the flat. ‘C’mon, Spence, one more night out, for the road?’
‘Hmmm,’ Paige said, thinking. Maya was looking at her with her best puppy dog expression. ‘OK, fine. But you still have to get up in the morning to continue packing, OK?’
‘Deal!’ Maya said, grabbing her phone and looking around for her bag. ‘Where did I -?’
‘Here,’ Paige said, handing Maya her bag, Paige had carefully placed it on a chair with the few other items that weren’t being packed. She barely had time to register what was happening when Maya took her by the hand and dragged her out the front door. They were both giggling like misbehaving schoolchildren as they trotted down the stairs, too excited to wait for the lift. They burst through front door of the building, nearly colliding with a very surprised old lady wheeling her shopping bag along behind her.
‘Where shall we go?’ Paige asked, after they had apologised profusely to the startled old lady.
‘Anywhere!’ Maya said, waving down a taxi. The taxi pulled over and both women climbed into the back. Maya spoke to the driver.
‘Take us wherever you would go if you were leaving the country for six months - and that doesn’t have a dress code!’ she said excitedly while looking herself and Paige up and down. ‘We really should have planned this better. I mean, you’re wearing trainers for Pete’s sake. Planning is your department, so I reckon the first round is on you for this.’
‘That’s not fair!’ Paige complained, doing up her seat belt. ‘But I will buy the first round, as a leaving present to you.’
‘Sweetie, you already got me several travel books for Japan,’ Maya said, laughing.
‘I know, but I figure you’d appreciate the drink more.’
The taxi pulled away, easing its way out into traffic. Paige could smell upholstery cleaner with an underlying tone of salt and vinegar. Out of the window the heart of the city rolled by. Students crawling from one bar to the next; indie rock venues with music so loud she could feel it, even in the taxi. Maya was also looking out of the window, smiling, but Paige could see her eyes shimmering in the streetlight. Maya noticed Paige watching her and, reaching over, took her hand. Paige squeezed her hand tightly and went back to watching out of her window.
Paige knew that this wasn’t goodbye; Maya would be on the other end of a phone or video call when their differing time zones allowed, and six months wasn’t such a long time. But she still gripped her friend’s hand tighter, like she was a child holding on to a helium balloon and one gust of wind would rip it away. Their earlier joviality had been replaced by silence as both women watched the world outside; watched other people continue their lives as if nothing in the world was wrong, when to Paige, it felt different. Like she was walking with a splinter in her foot she couldn’t get out, yet she had no choice but to keep walking.
Eventually, they pulled up outside a quaint-looking pub and the taxi driver turned around.
‘If I was leaving the country for a while, I’d want to spend my last night here with my friends, in a place I was actually able to hear them talk. The Fox and Hare is perfect for that,’ he said, smiling gently at the sight of the two women holding hands.
‘Thank you,’ Maya said, reaching into her purse. The fare was only £5.50 but she gave him £10 and told him to keep the change. The friends got out of the taxi, Maya soon linking arms with Paige.
‘Shall we?’ Paige said, smiling at her friend.
Maya laughed and shook her head slightly before leading them both inside.
The airport was bright white and silver, with splashes of bold advertising breaking up the monotony with its screams for attention. Hundreds of people were bustling around, rushing everywhere like ants on a scent trail. Most of the exposed walls were glass, allowing views out on to the tarmac where the planes jostled for position. Every now and again the announcement system would kick into life, an electronic polyglot informing people of gate numbers or expected delays. The shops and cafes that lined the concourse added a cacophony of noises to the melting pot, from hissing coffee machines to bleating checkout tills; the man-made jungle was awake. The ants rushing around didn’t care if you were in their way; they just barged through you without a second glance, trailing their possessions behind them. The smell of cleaning fluid lingered in the air.
Maya stood with her parents; having checked in her hold luggage, she was spending every last precious minute with them before leaving. Paige was in the queue for coffee so as to give them time alone. The servers all hurried around behind the counter, barking orders at each other that could barely be heard over the din. A variety of travellers had queued up for a drink at this watering hole, most with heads bowed, staring at the phones in their hands. The queue shuffled forward. Eventually Paige made it to the front and a server demanded her order. She asked for a plain coffee, but the server’s face looked like she was speaking a different language. He rattled off a variety of options, none of which registered properly in her brain. Looking around, she saw Maya was too far away to ask for help, so instead she just ducked out of the queue and sneaked across to the nearby toilets. The door swung open as another person exited and the sound of hand dryers screeching at her felt like someone was drilling directly into her skull. She turned on her heel and almost ran to the quietest-looking place she could see; a bookstore.
The sound felt dampened as soon as she turned the corner into the shop. Th
ere were still people, but not as many and not as loud. Paige walked slowly up and down the aisles, reading the titles and authors of each book. Occasionally she would take a book out and run her fingers along the pages, concentrating on how the many layers of paper felt under her fingers. She was on her third lap of the store when she noticed Maya standing on the boundary between the store and the rest of the airport, watching her.
‘Hey,’ Paige said quietly, making her way over to her friend.
‘Hey,’ Maya responded softly.
‘Is it time?’
‘Yes, lovely. I have to go now.’
‘OK,’ Paige said, taking a big breath in and standing up a little straighter. ‘I’m going to miss you so much.’
‘I’m going to miss you too. You have to text me every day, OK? And I’ll call when I can.’
Paige stepped forward and hugged her friend tightly, relishing in the last few seconds they had together for a while. Maya’s arms wrapped around her like a shield, and Paige felt her squeeze as tightly as a vice. She was vaguely aware of people manoeuvring around them to get in or out of the bookstore, tutting, but she didn’t care. Eventually the two women pulled apart, and Paige noticed Maya had tears falling down her cheeks.
‘Why are you crying?’ Paige asked.
‘Because I’m sad to be leaving.’
‘It’s only for six months, it’s not that long.’
‘I know, lovely, but it still makes me sad, OK? Don’t you feel sad?’
‘I don’t really know what to feel.’
‘Feelings aren’t a choice, Spence. You just have them,’ Maya said, laughing slightly.
‘Right. Yes. I knew that,’ Paige said, joining in the mirth.
Paige and Maya’s parents walked with Maya to the security gate, making the most of every last moment they had with her. Maya’s dad insisted on carrying her hand luggage for her, even though it was just a rucksack. Her mum kept adjusting Maya’s collar or trying to tame the same stray wisps of hair over and over. Paige just tried to be present.
‘Right, you three need to leave now or I’m going to start crying properly. I can’t have you stood there all forlorn, watching me queue to get through the metal detectors.’
Paige laughed before going in for one last hug.
‘I love you, Maya, and I’ll see you soon,’ she said into her ear.
‘I love you too, sweetie,’ Maya whispered back with a small hitch in her voice.
Paige stepped back to allow Maya’s parents to say their goodbyes.
‘Now shoo! All of you!’ Maya commanded once they were done, waving them away. Maya’s dad took her mother’s arm and started gently leading her away.
‘Call me as soon as you land!’ her mother shouted back over her shoulder. Paige took one last look at her friend, gave a small wave, then took a deep breath and turned to walk away. Each step felt like it might make her shatter. But she kept walking, keeping her head held high and not looking back; she didn’t want to make this any harder for Maya than it already was. She was proud of her friend and knew it was hard for her to leave, even if the promotion and extra responsibility were what she had been working towards for years.
Maya’s parents tried to engage Paige in polite conversation as the three of them left the airport, but any words she could think of got stuck somewhere in her throat. She felt like she was choking. She gestured goodbye at Maya’s parents and speed-walked in the other direction, with no idea where she was going or where her car was parked. It took a lot of self control to not run.
She eventually found a secluded part of the airport just beyond the drop-off zone, where everyone would be heading in the opposite direction, towards the airport main entrance. There was a low concrete wall and a solitary bin in the shadow of a large sign giving drivers directions. An empty crisp packet tumbled past as the wind whipped up, biting Paige’s cheeks. She sat down on the grey wall and wrapped her arms around herself, shivering. She had left her coat in the car as she knew the airport would be warm. Breathing heavily, she did her best to hold back her tears. She did not understand why she was suddenly so emotional; the goodbye was done, and Maya would be back in no time. But a tear forced its way out. Then another. And before Paige knew it she was sobbing, her body jerking with the overwhelming emotion coursing through her.
An hour later, her phone vibrated in her pocket. She barely registered it. It vibrated a couple more times, not allowing itself to be ignored so easily. Paige gingerly unwrapped her arms from around herself; she had been holding herself so tense for so long that moving hurt. She dug her phone out her pocket and opened a series of messages from Taylor.
‘Hey, I was wondering if we could grab dinner together sometime this week? Not just as friends, as a date...’ the first text read, before, ‘Sorry if you’re not gay. I mean I think you might be but I’m not sure, maybe you’re just nice to everyone.’ A third text read, ‘Sorry if I ducked up our friendship.’ Paige squinted at the screen, not sure if her still watery eyes were obscuring her vision somehow, when a fourth text came through: ‘Autocorrect knows that’s not what I meant’.
Paige smiled and wiped her eyes with her sleeve, before texting back, ‘Dinner would be great. No duck though, please, I’m vegetarian.’
CHAPTER TWELVE
The Date
TAYLOR
Taylor’s bedroom looked like a tornado had formed in her wardrobe and gobbled up her clothes, then spat them out all over the bed, floor, and chest of drawers. Some had even made it as far as the landing. Almost all of her shoes had been dragged out from under her bed and were scattered around, only vaguely in pairs. Preparation for the date was not going well. Paige had only ever seen her in her climbing clothes or her work clothes, neither of which were chosen to make herself look more appealing. She had to be at the restaurant in under two hours, needed to shower and blow dry her hair, and there was the half hour’s drive there as well. She quickly stripped off the red dress she had been trying on, deciding it was too formal. She didn’t want to seem like she was trying too hard. The red dress was the latest addition to a pile of discarded clothes forlornly resting on the bed.
Taylor walked over to her chest of drawers and ripped one of the drawers open, digging through multiple pairs of very similar-looking jeans. She pulled them all out, one after another. She couldn’t wear those ones, they had a hole in. This pair were too faded. That pair, the bottom of each leg had ripped where she had stood on the backs of them one too many times. The second to last pair of jeans stared up at her.
‘Hmm. Maybe,’ she said to no one.
The wardrobe doors were both mirrored, reflecting the chaos of the room back at her. She shimmied into the jeans and stood barefoot on the carpet in front of one of the mirrors, analysing her appearance from different angles. Finally satisfied, she removed the jeans and placed them carefully on top of the dresser. One piece of clothing down.
She had been so nervous sending that text to Paige. The last person she’d gone on a date with was Daniella, and after that fiasco she had given up on dating all together. But then Paige was thrust into her life, partly due to the endeavours of her brother, and here she was, trying on her fifteenth top of the evening.
Once she had finally made her outfit decisions, she checked the time and rushed into the shower. The warm water cascading down her body helped her muscles relax a little. The sound of the water droplets hitting the bathtub tapped away in her mind, reminding her of the passing of time and how she was probably already running late and what a bad impression that would give Paige. Turning off the water, she stepped out and wrapped herself in a huge fluffy towel, shivering slightly at the change in temperature.
Back at her dressing table she dried her hair and put some make-up on, quickly deciding it was too much, taking it all off, and reapplying it. She still wasn’t happy with it when she stood up, but she didn’t have enough time to do it again. She checked herself in the full-length mirror one more time. Her cream coloured blouse matched her c
ream coloured flat shoes, and the necklace she had chosen was a similar shade of blue to what was apparently the only smart pair of jeans she owned. It wasn’t perfect, but it would have to do for now.
Just as she was getting in the car Dylan called, so she put him on speaker phone and set off.
‘Hey, how’re you feeling?’ he asked, trying to hide the excitement in his voice and failing.
‘Fine. OK, I guess. I don’t know.’ she responded, slightly distracted by the junction she was trying to pull out of.
‘It’ll be OK. You can always give me a call if you need rescuing.’
‘What, like my knight in shining armour?’
‘Nah, more like your brother who can suddenly be taken ill and need you to come look after him.’
‘Ha, thanks, I’ll bear that in mind,’ she said, pulling up at a set of red traffic lights. She looked at the car clock and willed the lights to change faster.
‘Seriously though, Lor, how’re you feeling?’
‘Nervous, mainly. I’m a bit out of practice.’
‘A bit?’ he jibed.
‘Not the time for jokes, Dyl,’ Taylor said, just as a few paltry flakes of snow landed on her windscreen and slid gracefully down.
‘You’re right, I’m sorry. I’m sure you’ll do great. You get on with her, and she obviously likes you or she wouldn’t have said yes, so what have you got to lose?’
‘I dunno, I might make a fool or myself, or freak out, or maybe she’ll decide she just doesn’t like me like that, and I’ll have ruined our friendship.’
The Face of It Page 11