Taming Clay

by Raeann Blake

  She thought again about the things that Shack had said outside. Just the way he talked said that he’d never had kids of his own. That started her wondering if he’d ever been married. Probably not. The majority of ranch hands never do. Somehow she doubted that it was any different for rodeo riders.

  “Why are some people’s lives filled with so much happiness and yet others with so much loneliness?” she whispered to herself then turned her head slowly when a fresh cup of coffee landed on the desk.

  “I think we all wish we could answer that question. This is fresh. Bring it with you and come with me. You’re not working and you’re melancholy. Come in the kitchen and you can help me with supper. It will keep you busy. Come on,” Isobell said then jerked her head for the door with a little smile.

  Hailey finally chuckled and nodded as she rose to follow her. “You’re right. But you do remember that hazardous substance signs are usually needed when I cook, don’t you?”

  Isobell laughed brightly and slipped her arm through Hailey’s then pulled her in the direction of the kitchen. “I won’t make you cook. There are plenty of other things you can do. At the very least you can keep me company. It’s far too quiet.”

  Hailey grinned and said, “Then I’m you’re girl. I can take care of that. Let’s talk about those shops. I may have to make a list of what I want to get besides the belt buckle. Oh, say…I wonder what else we can get Laine to help us talk him into buying.”

  Kathy smiled silently, but Gage chuckled softly without even lifting his eyes from the book. “I like her.”

  “So do I. I hope this works out, but I’m worried, too. You know Clay’s never spent much time around women. And the number of people he trusts can be counted on one hand. I think he’s love in with her, Gage. But I’m not sure that he knows that. I’m even less sure that he’ll accept it even if he figures it out. And there’s not one doubt in my mind that she is head-over-heels. I’m worried about both of them getting hurt,” Kathy admitted softly.

  Gage laid the book down and turned to look at her, finding a concerned frown on her face. “I know you are, baby. But Clay’s a grown man, and Hailey’s a grown woman. You can’t do this for them. Besides, he knows that he’s feeling something. You may be right that he doesn’t know what, but just the questions he asked me in the kitchen proves that he knows he doesn’t really understand how it’s supposed to work. But he’s trying to figure it out. That’s something for him, sugar. It had to be hard for him to ask me those questions, but he wanted to know badly enough that he asked them anyway. And the way he watches the two of us together is like he’s taking every minute and cataloging it in his mind so that he can go back and look at it over and over again, learn from it. It’ll work out, Kat. It may not be an easy road and one or both of them may make a lot of missteps. But if it’s right, it’ll work out.”

  “I hope so. I guess what worries me the most is that if Clay gets hurt I don’t think he’ll ever try again,” Kathy whispered.

  * * *

  Clay leaned back against one of the saddles they had brought out to use as back rests. The way the kids’ eyes lit up as they each settled back against one had made them all laugh. Supper had been a long and noisy affair…and it had been great. Wonderful. They had convinced Isobell to sit and eat with them and with everybody’s help had even talked her into staying for the night. She had gone to bed now. Kathy and Gage had gone back inside but he could see them dancing in the living room. He wondered not for the first time how Gage made it look so easy. It had always been that way with them. There had never been a day that he had not been able to read the love in Gage’s eyes every time he looked at Kat. The way they touched, the way they smiled just added to that. If they were in reach of each other, they were touching in some way. He was always holding her hand or had his arms around her. There was no mistake that Kathy loved it. Her face shone with happiness, something that came from deep inside of her.

  He shifted his eyes to Hailey and watched her face as she listened intently to the stories that Shack was regaling them with about his rodeo days. This was going too far. He was in too deep. You can’t trust women not to just go away, just disappear without a word. But how was he supposed to get out of the place he was in when he didn’t know how he got there and it felt good enough that it made him not want to try too hard. Even knowing it was a mistake, even knowing it was the worst possible thing he could do, he still wanted to be with her. He wanted to trust her. He wanted…what Kathy had.

  Laine watched him for several minutes then rose and put another log across the top of the campfire. Instead of going back to where he was, he walked to Clay and sank down beside him.

  “What a great day,” he whispered.

  Clay smiled and glanced up at him then back to Shack and down to the two boys who were still listening but both of their eyes were blinking steadily now as they tried to hold them open.

  “You’re absolutely right. The best day. I’m so glad you guys were here to share it with.”

  “Son, I wouldn’t have missed this for the world. And I can’t wait for them to bring them back out again. I think she will, don’t you?”

  Clay shifted his eyes back to the now empty living room then up to Laine with a grin. “You know I think she just might. I can’t remember her ever coming here and not being in a hurry to leave. Always fidgeting and restless. She hasn’t been like that today. She’s been relaxed all day long. I think she might come back.”

  Laine laid a hand on his shoulder and nodded with a wide smile. “I think so, too. What do you think? Five minutes? I bet they’re asleep in five minutes.”

  Clay chuckled softly and nodded. “If that. Let’s get ‘em in their bags. They won’t remember getting to sleep in them if we don’t get them in there before they go to sleep.”

  He waited until Shack finished the story he was telling then sat up and tapped Timothy on the knee. “Hey, buddy. Let’s get in our bags, okay? Then Grandpa Shack can tell you one more story before you go to sleep.”

  The yawn he got in return made them all smile but both heads nodded as Laine and Clay each unzipped their little sleeping bags and helped them pull their boots off. Clay couldn’t help his eyes watering when both boys went to each one of them and hugged them tightly, telling each one goodnight. The soft, sleepy ‘I love you, Uncle Clay’ filled his heart like nothing else ever had.

  “I love you, too. I love you this much,” he said as he held his arms out wide. Neither of the boys would understand why his voice broke at the end. But Shack did. Clay knew that he remembered that it was something that his mother had told both him and Kathy every night when they went to bed.

  Clay reached across and laid a hand on his shoulder then nodded at the boys. “Go ahead, Grandpa Shack. Tell us some more.”

  Shack cleared his throat and nodded. “Okay. Oh, I know. I didn’t tell you about the old bull they called Outlaw. Boy, he was a mean old bull…”

  Clay settled back beside Laine then turned and caught Hailey’s eyes. When he held out his hand he saw her hesitate for just a second before she rose and came to him. He pulled her down in front of him and he nestled her between his legs, pulling her back against his chest as his arms went around her and he leaned his head against hers with a soft sigh. They stayed where they were as they listened to Shack until he got to the end of the story then smiled slightly as he nodded at the two boys.

  “Out like little lights,” he said quietly.

  Hailey watched him silently as he looked between the two men across the fire. It was so easy to see how much he loved both of them, not just Clay.

  “You guys don’t get to do this much, do you?” she asked quietly.

  “Hardly ever. Maybe we’ll have time to do that now that you’re here. Clay’s had a hard time being able to get away from the house more than an hour or two at a time.”

  “That’s the truth. And with Charlie as top hand now, maybe I’ll have more time, too,” Laine added.

  “I do miss
it. We used to be able to ride out to the herd and spend a few days. Nobody around but us and whatever hands would show up to check on the herd. There’s something that just felt good when they’d come out and check them out then head on back to the ranch but we’d stay out there. Just the three of us. Man, I miss that,” Clay said as he let his cheek rub against her hair.

  “We’ll do that, son. We’ll start doing that again,” Shack said hoarsely. He missed it as much as Clay did. But he would have never told him that because Clay had responsibilities that had to be handled. Having the time to spend together like that just wasn’t possible when he needed to take care of other things. Maybe now they really would be able to make that happen again.

  Hailey watched his face in the firelight then smiled slightly. It was so easy to read what was there.

  “You know…it’s not like sleeping beside a campfire and listening to the cattle in the distance, but if you guys would move in the house you could spend a lot more time together,” she said innocently. She felt the chuckle rumble in Clay’s chest more than she heard it and kept her face perfectly straight as Shack narrowed his eyes at her then shifted his gaze to Laine before he looked back at her again then laughed softly.

  “Hailey, I really hate to be the one to tell you this. But darlin’…that is the absolute worst innocent face I have ever seen in all my life,” he said quietly then shook his head when Clay and Laine both leaned against each other laughing.

  “Dang. I’ve been working so hard on it, too,” Hailey said then caught her breath when Clay’s arms tightened around her and he kissed her softly on the temple.

  “But it was a damn good try, sugar. You keep working on it. We’ll get ‘em in there yet.”

  “Well let’s talk about that now,” Laine said seriously.

  Hailey felt Clay’s head jerk around to him and saw Shack smile just slightly and nod. She quickly turned her head and kissed Clay on the cheek then sat up away from him.

  “I’ve got some things I want to take care of before I turn in. Goodnight, guys.”

  “Hailey, wait…I thought…I mean I’d like…do you have to go?” Clay finally managed.

  “You should have some ‘guy’ time. I’ll see all of you in the morning. Goodnight,” she said easily then rose and started away but then turned and walked back. She stopped at Laine first and bent down to kiss him gently on the cheek then went to Shack and did the same. She held Clay’s eyes for a few seconds then walked back to him and knelt beside him.

  “Goodnight, Clay,” she whispered then kissed him softly on the lips before she rose and went across the yard.

  “Damn. I thought she might…I mean I was hoping…” Clay whispered.

  “Night’s still young, son. Nothin’ says you can’t go in there later and convince her,” Shack said gently.

  “Yeah. Yeah, maybe,” he said as he frowned and watched her disappear inside the door then cross to her office. The light came on first then she vanished inside the door. He finally let out a slow breath and turned back to the others.

  “Okay. Let’s talk about it. I really, really want you guys to move in. But not if it’s not what you want. And not if you think it’ll look bad.”

  “Hell, Clay. I ain’t worried about what anybody thinks and I know Shack’s not thinking about that either. I would have agreed already, but I wonder if it’s the best thing. I mean with what’s happening with you and Hailey. Don’t you think you should have some privacy?” Laine asked.

  Clay frowned and watched him for a few seconds then turned to Shack. “What do you think?”

  Shack scrubbed his chin for a few minutes as he stared at the fire then lifted his gaze to theirs. “Well, to tell you the truth I was kind of thinking the same thing. But with her sittin’ there with you the way she did and givin’ you that kiss before she went inside, I think I might have been wrong. I just had a feeling before that she wasn’t real comfortable with anybody knowing that there was anything going on. But I’m not getting that from her now. And maybe it’s just with us. I don’t know. She may still not want any of the other hands to know, but I’m not really feeling like she’d be uncomfortable with us being in there. Hold on. Don’t say anything yet,” he said as he held his hand up to stop Clay from speaking.

  “That said, sex is not just for the bedroom, son. You oughta be able to make love to that little girl in any room in the house, whenever and wherever the notion strikes you. You can’t do that with the two of us living in there.”

  Clay frowned and looked back at the house then shook his head. “I understand what you’re saying. But look at those windows. We’ve got hands all over this ranch. People roaming in and out. I can’t just make love to her anywhere. Besides I don’t know long this is gonna last. But I know wanting the two of you there won’t go away.”

  “What does that mean, Clay? What you mean you don’t know how long this gonna last?” Laine asked.

  “Well she thinks that some day I’ll see her talk to somebody or do something that will wake me up and make me not want her here anymore. I think she needs me to be able to tell her that that won’t happen. But I can’t.”

  “Clay, what happened last night after I left?”

  Clay dropped his head and blew out a long breath. “It, uh…it wasn’t last night. It was this morning. She stayed in my room last night and this morning was when she told me that. And she just walked out. I followed her and I told her that she didn’t know that was going to happen. She couldn’t because I don’t know it. And I told her that even if something happened that we didn’t keep this going that I still wouldn’t want her to leave. I asked her why she couldn’t just trust me on that and she said trust goes both ways. I just…I opened mouth and…the first thing I thought came out. I asked if that’s what the whole thing was about, if I was supposed to feel so bad about accusing her of working with Yates that I was just supposed to blindly trust her.”

  Laine groaned and dropped his head, but Shack’s head came up in surprise. “Whoa. Wait a minute. What do you mean you accused her of working with Yates?”

  “It just seems funny that every time she goes into town she runs into somebody named Yates. I have to wonder if all of those chance meetings where she supposedly gets so pissed off, finding the problems with the billing, all of that stuff…gotta wonder if it’s all a set-up. And the way she was laughin’ and talking with his boy…” Clay said lowly then trailed off and looked away when he saw Shack’s face.

  “Boy, you look at me,” Shack said sternly and waited until Clay lifted his head and met his gaze before he lifted a hand and pointed it at the house.

  “If there was ever a woman put on this earth that will never do a man’s bidding, that woman right in there is the one. Look at where she is, Clay. Look at what she’s done. She grew up with a man who sounds like he was very much like the bastard that gave you your name. She’s had to fight for everything in her life. And she did it. She struck out across the country on her own, all alone just for a chance to be able to work at a place just like this. And she wound up working for one of the hardest men to work for in the State of Montana. She never backed up from you one time. She didn’t take any crap and she’s not about to start now. Can you honestly look me in the eyes with a straight face and tell me that you believe that a man like Abraham Yates could make that girl do something like that?”

  “Can you look at me and tell me that you think he couldn’t? Not even if he promised her this ranch if she took us down?” Clay countered.

  “You’re goddamned right I can. That girl doesn’t want this ranch, Clay. She just wants to be here. And she just wants you to want her to be here.”

  Laine reached out and laid a hand on his arm until Clay turned to look at him then spoke softly to him. “Clay, Hailey’s in love with you.”

  “No, she’s not,” Clay snapped. He didn’t want her to be in love.

  Shack sighed and shook his head. “Clay, listen to me. It’s not a bad thing to have a woman love you. It’s the
best thing in the world. And I think you love her, too.”

  “No,” Clay said immediately as he shook his head emphatically.

  “Yeah, I think you do. But you know what? That’s not gonna matter if you don’t learn to trust her. The longer you don’t, the worse it’s gonna get. Right up until the day she breaks. If that happens, you’re gonna lose her.”

  Chapter Twenty-two

  No matter what he did, he couldn’t get settled and he couldn’t keep his eyes closed. He shut them and they would open and fasten on that light to her office. He turned his back and still found himself turned back that way. He glanced around at the others where they were all sleeping then sighed slightly and rose to walk slowly to the house. He walked quietly through the door then stopped when he found her at the bar with a drink in her hand. She wasn’t startled and he knew she had to have seen him coming.

  “Did you convince them?” she asked hoarsely. The emotions had swirled around her all night. She liked the way it felt when he held her, especially when he let her know that he didn’t care who else knew. He was drawing her in deeper and deeper and she didn’t seem to be able to stop it, even knowing that she was just asking for more hurt.