by Raeann Blake
“Goddammit, I believed her. I believed her when she said it was different. I believed her when she said she’d stay here forever. I’m a fuckin’ fool,” he whispered to himself then straightened his shoulders and made himself start for the door. He stopped in the doorway when he heard the muted conversation below then forced his feet to keep going. He was only about halfway down when the conversation died and they both waited for him to turn and face them. When he did he walked straight to them then crouched beside the chair Shack was sitting in but looked back and forth between him and Laine in the next chair.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I worried you. You know I wouldn’t hurt either one of you for anything and I’m sorry that I did. You both look very tired. You should go to bed.”
Shack laid a hand on his shoulder and said, “We’re fine, son. Would you like some coffee?”
“Stay where you are. I’ll get it. Is, uh…is Isobell in there?”
“No, we sent her home. You’ll have to face her sooner or later, but not tonight. Go on and get some coffee.”
He nodded slightly and rose then started for the kitchen. He stopped after just a few steps and turned back to them again. He let his gaze lift to the almost constant lightning flashes out the window then back down to Laine.
“Does she know about the line cabins?” he asked quietly.
“Yeah, I told her where the one is between where we camp and where we left the herd. But this moved in quicker than it was supposed to. I’m not sure she had time to get there. If she’s okay, it’ll probably piss her off but one of us needs to head out at first light and go up to check on her,” Laine said.
Clay hesitated for a few seconds then set his jaw back into that firm line. “I’m sure it will,” he said evenly then turned and walked to the kitchen. He stopped when he walked through the door and found his cup beside the coffee pot…right beside the one that Hailey always used. A message from Isobell, he was sure. Funny that she left there with Isobell and came home with her but managed to get away long enough to meet that cop and Yates. He guessed maybe Isobell didn’t know that.
He walked to the pot and poured coffee in his cup. When he reached for it, his hand went to her cup instead then traced the rim gently before he jerked it back again.
“Cut it out,” he muttered then grabbed his cup and started back to the living room.
His steps faltered slightly when he reached it and found both men waiting silently. Instead of looking directly at them he walked on by and stopped at the back window, staring silently out at the storm.
Chapter Twenty-seven
“What happened, son?” Shack finally asked.
“It doesn’t matter. I don’t want to talk about it.”
“I think you owe us an explanation, Clay,” Laine said evenly.
Clay clenched and unclenched his jaw several times then nodded slightly. “Come with me,” he said evenly then turned and started to the office. He sat down just long enough to get the pictures up on the screen then stood up and walked out.
Laine looked at Shack then walked around behind the desk.
“Oh, hell,” he whispered as he sank down in the chair.
“Sonofabitch,” Shack said as he shook his head then walked back to the living room.
“Do you know who sent those?”
“No. What difference does it make? It won’t change anything,” Clay said flatly without turning around.
“I don’t guess you thought about the possibility that it might not be what it looks like,” Laine asked softly. He had to admit the pictures did look damning. If they hadn’t already heard the things from Isobell that they had about them talking to Isaac Yates, he had to wonder if he might have a little suspicion himself. But she hadn’t mentioned that cop.
Clay snorted and turned to face him with a steady stare. “And why should I? If you can’t see what’s on her face you’re not looking.”
He sighed slightly and said, “Because if you’d taken the time to ask her about them, she or Isobell either one could have told you what it was they were talking about. She gave him a list of women who worked for you for the last six months and asked him how many of them he knew and how many old man Yates knew.”
“Why?”
Shack shook his head and said, “Son, have you already forgotten that Davey said she told Yates she was going to make it her mission to find out if he sent any of those women out here? And now we know he did…thanks to the chat she had with him yesterday. The one where those pictures were taken. Isobell was right there, Clay.”
“She’s not in the pictures,” Clay snapped.
“Well, goddamn, Clay. You know they make software that lets you crop and change images. You can do all of that right in the camera these days. She was sitting right there at the same table,” Laine said without even bothering to try to hide the irritation in his voice.
“I don’t see what difference that makes. It doesn’t change the way she looked at him. It doesn’t change her hand in his. And it goddamned sure doesn’t change his hands on her face,” Clay shouted.
“Clay, sit down. I’m not going to try to explain every one of those pictures to you. I couldn’t anyway. Isobell could, but she shouldn’t. You should give Hailey the chance to do that,” Shack said softly.
“What, more lies? I haven’t believed enough of them? No, thank you. I’m done. If she wants to stay here and keep her job then she can stay. I can’t do the things I want to do without somebody with her skills. But make no mistake about it. I said from the first day that she was no different than any other woman. All women look for a way in, a way to get what they want, and a way out again. She got in. If she ever gets around to telling me what it is she wants then she’ll be gone once she gets it. Until then she can have the job, but she stays out of my way.”
“Clay, you fool. All that girl wants is you,” Laine said evenly.
Clay shot out of the chair and turned back to the window. “You guys are not doing this again. You’re gonna talk me into believing that she’s different. She’s not.”
“Are you even interested in what she found out from Yates?” Shack asked.
“We’re doin’ all this goddamned talking about the Yates boy, what about the cop? What kind of big explanation do you have for the cop?” Clay growled.
“He’s a cop. He patrols the town. Maybe he ran into her and stopped just to say hello. I don’t know, Clay. What I do know is that Hailey is a beautiful young woman. She’s nice and she’s funny. She got a sunny smile and a laugh that just brightens up your day. It’s no surprise that men might be interested in her. The surprise is that you’re gonna stand there and let somebody else walk away with her just because you can’t admit that you love her. You’re gonna lose her, Clay. You go ahead and stand there and tell yourself that you don’t care. But when you’re lying up there in that bed alone every night and thinking about her in somebody else’s arm…then you come back and tell me how much it doesn’t matter.”
“I do not love her. And she doesn’t love me. She couldn’t look at those men…touch them that way and let them touch her if she loved me. Both of you either stop this or I’m going back to bed,” he said evenly and turned to walk behind the bar. He snatched the cigarettes there off the shelf and strode through the back door.
“Touch them? Son, they’re shaking hands,” Shack said incredulously as he followed him out the door.
“That’s not what I see. I see her hand in theirs. I see a wide smile both of their faces. She’s looking up at them like…goddammit, leave me alone,” he finally muttered and lit the cigarette with trembling hands.
Laine blew out a long breath and shook his head. He turned to look out at the rain but said, “I want you to listen to what she found out from Yates. Will you listen?”
He blew out a long breath then muttered, “Go ahead.”
He went through everything that Isobell had told them then waited silently.
Clay clenched his jaw several times then took a last
drag off the cigarette before he flicked it angrily out into the rain.
“I don’t get it. Why does that old bastard want this ranch so much? He’s not a rancher. He never was. Why does he want to take this away from me?”
Shack looked down at the floor then ran his hands through his hair. “I can’t tell you the answer to that, son,” he said quietly. He knew the answer…but he couldn’t tell him.
Clay turned to look at him with a frown but lifted a steady gaze to Laine when he spoke.
“Who’s goin’ in the morning? Me or you?”
Clay lit another cigarette then said lowly, “I’ll go. I was planning on going up to see the herd anyway. She can stay or she come back if she doesn’t wanna be in the same place at the same time. Doesn’t matter to me.”
“Be careful what you say to her, Clay. Or you just might find out real quick whether it does or doesn’t matter,” Laine warned.
“Are you gonna start telling me again how to manage my employees?”
“Well, you’re doin’ such a great job so far,” Laine shot back.
“Boy, you’d better get off my ass,” Clay snapped.
“That’s what friends are for, Clay. To tell you when you fuck up. You’re fuckin’ up,” Laine said evenly.
“Both of you stop it. Laine, we’re both tired. Let’s go to bed. Clay, try to get some more sleep before you head out. Goodnight, son.”
“Goodnight, Shack. Laine, I’m sorry. Goodnight.”
“Me, too. I’ll see you in the morning before you leave.”
They both ran through the pouring rain until they reached the stable doors and stepped inside. Laine held the door open and looked back at the house as he spoke to Shack.
“Tell me again why we’re not stayin’ up there with him tonight? Why we’re not telling him that we decided to move in?” he asked quietly.
“We’ll move in tomorrow, Laine. I don’t like seeing him alone either. But tonight I want him to be up there alone in that quiet house. I want him to remember what it was like before Hailey came here. One night in there alone should remind him what it was like…and what it will be like again if she leaves.”
Clay couldn’t seem to settle anywhere. It was so damn quiet. The rain had slackened now but not stopped completely and he walked out to the front porch where he gazed longingly at the bunkhouse. All of the windows were dark. If there had been just one light on, he might have gone over, but they were all asleep.
He leaned back against the front wall and stared at it for several minutes before he slid down it until he was sitting on the floor.
“Dammit. Goddammit,” he whispered hoarsely. “Mama, where did you go? Why did you leave us? You’re gone. Kathy’s gone. Hailey’s gone. Why does everybody leave?”
Laine let his own tears mix with the rain on his face when he heard Clay’s sobs waft to him through the night. He’d been standing at the end of the bunkhouse for more than an hour, just waiting. He wanted so badly to go to him and console him. But this…this broke his heart. In all the time he’d been there, no matter what happened, he’d never heard Clay cry before. He was torn between his need to go to him and try to help him and trusting that Shack knew what he was doing. In the end, the loneliness of him sitting on that porch won out and he started across the yard. He was almost to the steps when Clay lifted his head and saw him then quickly wiped his face and tried to stand up but didn’t make it.
“Laine…what are you doing? You’re soaking wet,” Clay pushed out through the thickness in his throat.
“I know. Let’s go inside, buddy. You can loan me some clothes,” Laine said gently then held out his hand to help him up.
“Laine, why does everybody go away?” he whispered hoarsely then let his head fall back against the wall and he closed his eyes against the tears.
Laine swallowed hard and sank down beside him to lean his shoulder against his. “Not everybody, Clay. I’m here. Shack’s here. Hailey’s not gone, Clay. She just went where you go when you need to get away. That phone call hurt her, buddy. She’d been up all night long. She drove into Kathy’s with me to see if you were there. We went to several bars. She’d had no sleep and nothing to eat. And then she got that call. She couldn’t face you knowing that you’d been with somebody else.”
“I trusted her, Laine. I asked her to stay here forever. She said she would. But she won’t. She’ll leave, too. Just like everybody else. If it’s not Yates, it’ll be the cop. If it’s not the cop, it’ll be somebody else,” Clay said without opening his eyes.
“Clay, listen to me. Hailey will never leave this ranch unless you force her to. I can’t tell you that what you had isn’t over because I don’t know that. I don’t know if she can take knowing you touched somebody else. But she won’t leave unless you make it so hard for her that she can’t stay.”
“What about who she touched, Laine? Isn’t that supposed to matter? What about how much it hurt for me to see those pictures? Why was she with them?”
“Of course it matters. But you should have faced her, Clay. You said you trusted her. If you trusted her, why didn’t you ask her why she was with them?”
“Why didn’t she ask me? Seeing those pictures was no different than her getting that call,” Clay snapped.
Laine waited a few seconds then nodded. “Okay. You’re right. I’m sorry. I didn’t look at it that way, but you’re right. Clay, those pictures are not what they look like. I didn’t ask Isobell for an explanation of every picture because I didn’t know about them at the time. But Isobell told us about talking to Yates before we ever saw the pictures. She was sitting right there, man. Isobell is no fool. She spotted Pepper for what she was before you even hired her. If there had been anything out of line, anything funny or strange about what happened in town, she would have seen it. She didn’t. Yates asked her for a date, Clay. Hailey turned him down; she told him she was sorry but that the two of you were involved.”
Clay drew in a ragged breath and wiped a hand down his face. “Not anymore. She can stay here. But I’m not going back to where I was. I can’t.”
Laine sighed but nodded. “That’s a start, Clay. You need to tell her that. You need to make it plain to her that you want her to stay. Would you at least do that?”
Clay opened his eyes and stared out at the rain for several minutes then finally said, “I’ll tell her. Laine, I know you’re tired. Are you…are you headed back to the bunkhouse now?”
“Well…to tell you the truth, I was kind of hoping I could borrow some clothes and stay up here a while. I’m having a hard time going to sleep and it’s awfully quiet over there. Would you mind?” Laine asked easily.
He didn’t even wait to take a breath first. “No. No, I’d like that. It’s really quiet here, too. Come in the house. Let’s find you something to wear.”
Laine stood up first and held his hand out then pulled Clay up before he followed him inside. When the front door closed, Shack shook his head and sighed softly. He had come very close to leaving his post by the front window of the bunkhouse to start to the house himself when he’d seen Laine walk out of the darkness. No matter what he said, he couldn’t stand seeing Clay alone anymore. He’d be okay with Laine there tonight. And tomorrow they would move in like Clay wanted.
He shook his head in regret as he walked back to his bunk then laid down and stared up at the ceiling. As he thought back over the years he could pinpoint every mistake he’d made. The worst one of all was agreeing to let Leah stay with Clayton instead of taking her and Kathy off the ranch before Clay was even born.
* * *
“Here, buddy. Take this with you,” Laine said and handed him a foil-wrapped square.
“What is this?” Clay asked quietly.
“It’s what’s left of the coffee cake. I was pretty upset when Hailey left or I would have thought to send some of it with her. Are you sure you’ve got everything you need?”
Clay nodded without speaking and Laine looked down at the ground for several seconds
before he laid a hand on his arm to stop him from mounting up.
“Clay, you’ll only be gone a day or two, right?” he asked quietly.