Only by Death

by Herman, Kathy;

  Jesse pushed himself, step after step, even though the back of his head throbbed, his legs were shaky, and he felt as if he could throw up. His face stung where he’d been scratched by low tree branches. He couldn’t imagine being any more hungry, thirsty, or cold. The only upside to his precarious predicament was that Slick’s shelter would be warmer than the outdoors. He crossed a small clearing, stars twinkling overhead, and approached the embers of a campfire just inside the tree line.

  “That’s far enough,” Slick said.

  Jesse stopped and looked around. “Where’s the shelter?”

  “There, to the right of the fire.”

  Jesse turned and moved the beam of light to the right. “All I see is a huge pile of tree limbs.”

  “Yep, that’s the shelter. Mighty fine handiwork, if I do say so myself.”

  Jesse felt as if his heart had sunk down to his toes. “How are we supposed to stay warm in that?”

  “Look closer, knucklehead. The shelter’s open on this side so the fire can take the chill off. Stop complaining and get over there.”

  Jesse walked past the slowly dying fire and held the flashlight so he could see whatever it was Slick had constructed.

  “Go on, boy. Take a gander inside.”

  Jesse sat on his heels and shone the beam of light into the shelter, startled to see a man sitting upright, his ankles and wrists bound with rope, his face bruised and bleeding. One of his eyes was black. The right leg of his jeans was torn and bloody. Jesse recognized the brown boots.

  “Say hey to your ol’ buddy, Liam.” Slick laughed. “Don’t look so shocked. I told you me and him had a little talk about attitude. Since he isn’t hollering anymore, I guess he got my point.”

  Liam looked at Jesse and shook his head slightly, as if he was trying to send a warning.

  Slick grabbed Jesse by the collar. “I’ve got enough rope left to tie your wrists. Kneel here with your hands behind your head and don’t try anything stupid. If I have to talk to you about attitude, you’ll end up looking like your buddy there. There’s sure no need for it. Just mind your p’s and q’s. Now don’t move and keep your mouths shut, both of you.”

  Jesse did what he was told and couldn’t stop staring at Liam. That must have been some beating. If Liam had kept the gun instead of giving it to Jesse, could he have protected himself? Jesse had a lot of questions but didn’t want to risk looking like Liam. He sized up the shelter, which resembled a small cave crafted of tree limbs and branches. It would take more than a smoldering campfire to stay warm in that.

  Slick came up behind Jesse. “Put your arms behind you. Nice and slow.” Jesse lowered his arms, and Slick grabbed both his arms and pulled them behind him, tied his wrists, then gave him a shove. “Get in there. Sit or lay, doesn’t matter to me, long as you behave. Just because I ran out of rope doesn’t mean I haven’t got my eye on you, boy. You try to run and I’ll shoot your kneecaps. No need for you to suffer like that, so don’t be stupid.”

  Jesse, his heart nearly pounding out of his chest, his wrists secured behind him, walked on his knees into the enclosure, then sat cross-legged next to Liam.

  “All right then,” Slick said. “I need to feed that fire before it goes out. You two have a nice time, catching up. If either of you tries to get away, I’ll have to hurt you real bad.”

  Chapter 32

  Kate stood in the family prayer circle between Elliot and Hawk, a warm fire crackling at her back, her eyelids heavy and her burden even heavier, as she listened to Elliot close out their second family prayer session since Jesse disappeared.

  “And so, Father,” Elliot said, “in faith we come to You once again as a family, knowing that You love Jesse even more than we do, and far more than we can imagine. Nothing can cross his path that You don’t allow. Your Word tells us in Romans 8:28 that in all things You work for the good of those who love You, who have been called according to Your purpose. Jesse loves You. He gave You his heart and put his life into Your hands. Lord, we know it’s You, and not Liam Berne, who is in control. And that, ultimately, You will use this circumstance for Your glory. Protect Jesse, Lord. Help him not to be afraid. Speak to Liam’s heart. Make his conscience tender and give him the grace to do the right thing. Wrap us in Your peace and answer our prayer as is fitting in Your sight, for it’s in the Name of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, that we ask these things. Amen.”

  Kate didn’t move, but let the family amen settle over her. Finally, she opened her eyes and turned to Elliot. How could he look so at ease? He was as concerned as she was for Jesse’s safety.

  Elliot stroked her cheek. “It’s going to be all right, honey. Trust Him.”

  Kate nodded on the outside, but inside she wrestled with fear and doubt. It was only going to be all right if Jesse came home alive. God could do anything. She believed that. So why did He sometimes allow something dreadful to happen in order to make something good come of it? Sometimes Scripture made no sense. At least, not to her. The only thing that made sense right now was getting her son home safely.

  Her dad rubbed his eyes and put his glasses back on. He came over and put his arms around her. “Jesse’s strong, Kate. More than you know. He and I talk about spiritual things quite a bit. That youngster takes his faith seriously. Way beyond his years. Wherever he is right now, he and God are talkin’.”

  “Buck’s right,” Elliot said. “Jesse knows he’s not alone out there.”

  Kate didn’t say anything but squeezed Elliot’s hand in agreement. Jesse’s faith was stronger than hers. But he was only twelve. How much could a boy his age trust God if his life was being threatened? Especially when God hadn’t chosen to spare Jesse’s father.

  Abby tugged one of Riley’s braids and winked at Jay. “Let’s go cut into that chocolate cake the women from church brought over. I told Pipsqueak she could make us chocolate shakes to go with it—as long as she’s willing to help clean up afterwards.”

  Riley clapped her hands. “Yay!”

  “Count me in,” Jay said.

  “Me too.” Buck smiled. “Roberta, you need to get in on this. Riley’s been practicing on her ol’ grandpa, and I promise you’re in for a treat.”

  “Come on, Riley,” Abby said. “We need to get started if we’re going to get you in bed by nine.”

  Kate looked at Abby and mouthed the words thank you.

  As Abby, Jay, Riley, and Dad escorted Roberta into the kitchen, Hawk came over to Kate and kissed her cheek, then shook Elliot’s hand. “I’m going back to the command post. I’ll see what I can find out and call you if I hear anything new.”

  “Promise me you won’t get in Virgil’s way,” Kate said.

  “I promise not to impede the investigation.” Hawk slipped on his down jacket and zipped it, then put on his stocking cap and pulled it down over his ears. “But I can’t promise I won’t push the sheriff for information.”

  “Then use a little restraint,” Kate said. “Remember, Virgil’s on our side.”

  Hawk nodded, then went out the front door and pulled it shut.

  Kate blinked to clear her eyes. Hawk’s take-charge attitude and unwavering tenacity reminded her so much of Micah.

  Micah. Her mind raced back in time, through all the drama and pain of those five years he was missing. And of that moment when Virgil told her they had found his remains. She wondered if she could ever handle that kind of pain again.

  Lord, please don’t take my son from me. But if You do, hold him close. Take the fear out of his heart. And give me the courage to work through the grief without falling into anger, despair, and unbelief. I’m trying so hard to trust You.

  t

  Jesse sat on the cold, hard ground in Slick’s shelter made of tree limbs, his hands bound, the man who’d tried to kill him now as helpless as he.

  “You stupid kid,” Liam whispered. “Why’d you come back her
e? Why didn’t you run while you had the chance?”

  “I did,” Jesse said. “But I changed my mind.”

  “Why would you do that?”

  Jesse shrugged. “It wasn’t right to leave you.”

  “Says who? You had a chance to save yourself. You should’ve taken it.”

  “Not if it meant leaving you out here to die.”

  “That’s crazy,” Liam said. “If the tables were turned, I’d have left you in a heartbeat. Seriously, kid. What were you thinking?”

  Jesse glanced over at Liam’s badly beaten face. “I was thinking about the Good Samaritan in the Bible. You probably don’t know who that is.”

  “Of course I do,” Liam said. “Despite what you think, I’m not a heathen. I used to go to church every Sunday. I know that story.”

  “Then you know why I couldn’t leave you out here.”

  Liam was quiet for about half a minute. Then he said, “Yeah, but the man the Good Samaritan decided to help hadn’t tried to kill him.”

  “That’s not the point,” Jesse said. “The Good Samaritan didn’t know anything about the man he helped. He just knew it was wrong to pass by and leave a wounded man out there where he could die.”

  “You didn’t leave me out there, kid. I told you to go.”

  “But I think God wanted me to come back. It wasn’t a good idea to leave you out here in the cold where you might freeze to death. Or get hypothermia or something.”

  “I can assure you, Almighty God couldn’t care less about me right now.”

  “You’re wrong.”

  “And you’re a fool,” Liam said. “Coming back here was stupid. Now both of our lives are in jeopardy. Are you going to tell me that’s what God wants?”

  “No.” Jesse sighed. “I don’t know. Maybe. There could be a reason we don’t understand.”

  “How about we stick with what I do understand. We can’t trust that creep.”

  “That’s why we have to trust God.”

  Liam lowered his voice. “I don’t need to be preached to by a seventh grader. I don’t know what misguided baloney they feed you at that church of yours, but don’t try and feed it to me. We’re in over our heads, kid. Way over. We’ll be lucky to get out of here alive.”

  Jesse looked out the open side of the shelter and saw Slick piling wood on the fire and whistling as if nothing were wrong. Jesse considered the seriousness of the situation. He’d had a gun pointed at his head twice today, and both times he thought he was going to die. He didn’t want to die at twelve. He thought again about his family and how hard it would be on them if he were murdered. He so wanted to say good-bye and tell them how much he loved them. He blinked away the tears that stung his eyes.

  “You scared?” Liam said.

  Jesse shrugged. “Sort of. I mean, I’m scared of getting shot. But heaven’s going to be awesome. I’ll see Jesus face to face. And my dad and grandma are there, so I’ll get to see them again. But I’m worried about my family. I know how scared they are. They were miserable all those years when Daddy and Riley were missing. It’s not fair they have to go through it again.”

  “I’ll never understand how you Christians can love and worship a cruel and sadistic god who puts you through stuff like that.”

  “You still don’t get it, do you?” Jesse felt bold and didn’t care if Liam got mad about what he was going to say. “It’s guys like you and Slick and that crazy mountain man who took my sister and killed my dad that cause suffering, not God. He sure didn’t kill your mother.”

  “You don’t know the first thing about why I took my mom’s life,” Liam said. “What are you, twelve? What do you know about having to make tough choices?”

  “You think it was easy forgiving you?” Jesse said. “Or coming back here? Because it wasn’t.”

  “It wasn’t smart either. I hope it was worth dying for.”

  “How was I supposed to know that guy was out here?” Jesse felt the heat from the fire, which was now burning brightly. “I thought you were pinned under a tree limb and helpless. I just wanted to be like the Good Samaritan. That’s why I came back to help you. So when I think of it that way, it was worth it.”

  “Whatever.” Liam rolled his eyes and then seemed to stare at nothing. Finally, he turned again to Jesse. “So tell me something—the gut-honest truth—why did you say you forgave me when I was about to shoot you?”

  “We’re supposed to love our enemies, not hate them,” Jesse said. “And I pretty much hated you. I didn’t want to die feeling that way. But just because I forgave you didn’t mean that what you did wasn’t wrong. God would’ve held you responsible.”

  “Then why bother saying it?”

  “I guess because Jesus forgave the soldiers who crucified Him and He said it out loud. Maybe they needed to hear it. I thought maybe you did too.”

  “Jesus also said they didn’t know what they were doing,” Liam said. “I did know. And if that tree limb hadn’t fallen on me, I’d have pulled the trigger.”

  “I couldn’t stop you. But forgiving you made me feel stronger and not so afraid.” Jesse thought for a moment. “And I knew if I died, I’d be in heaven, happier than I could ever imagine. What about you? Where will you be when you die?”

  Liam spit out a swear word. “How about you spare me the repent-or-burn spiel? Colleen’s been on my case for years. I’ll tell you what I told her: thanks, but no thanks. I do not need or want a personal Savior or a stupid set of rules controlling my life. I sure don’t think that’s grounds for eternity in hell.”

  “Sorry,” Jesse said. “I wasn’t trying to upset you.”

  “That’s not what I’m upset about. You have no idea what we’re facing here.”

  “Then tell me,” Jesse said. “I’m not a little kid.”

  Liam paused for what seemed an eternity, then glanced over at him. “After you left, I had time to think about everything. I was actually relieved the limb fell on me and knocked the gun out of my hands so I couldn’t shoot you. I knew if I survived, I was going to prison for the rest of my life, and I accepted that. I really did. But then Slick came along and rescued me,” Liam said sarcastically. “Now I’m more trapped than before.”

  “How’d he get you out?”

  “With a lot of grit. Took him forty minutes to pry that limb up enough for me to pull my legs out. I have a nasty gash on this one, but it’s not broken.”

  “That’s good,” Jesse said. “Bet it felt great to be standing.”

  “Yeah, for about thirty seconds before Slick stuck a gun in my back. Said he’d seen my face all over the news and knew I was wanted by the police as a suspect in your disappearance. He told me that a couple months ago he robbed a bank in Higgins Springs and shot and killed a cop. He came to Foggy Ridge, grew a beard, and kept a low profile—until the cops went door to door looking for you. He’s afraid they may have recognized him, so he decided to hide in the woods until the dust settles and he can move on. He figured if the sheriff found him out here, he could use me as a bargaining chip and trade me in exchange for his freedom. And if the sheriff didn’t show, he’d set me free and we’d go our separate ways.”

  “Can’t you still do that?” Jesse said.

  “Just hear me out. When we heard you calling in the forest, I told Slick who you were. Only took him a few seconds to figure out that holding you hostage would give him twice the leverage if the sheriff showed up. So he captured you, and here we are. Thing is, it’s doubtful the sheriff will even search these woods, since the Amber Alert indicated that the authorities suspect I drove you somewhere and are looking for my car. Once Slick feels it’s safe for him to return to Foggy Ridge, he won’t need to hold us hostage anymore.”

  “Then he’ll let us go, right?”

  “Not exactly.” Liam sighed. “Look, kid, the only way Slick will cut me loose is if I …”

>   “If you what?”

  Liam’s lips trembled. “If I … kill you first.”

  Jesse studied Liam’s profile, his heart about to pound out of his chest. “That’s crazy. Just tell him you won’t do it. Once he’s left, we’ll figure out how to get untied. We don’t need him to get out of here.”

  Liam didn’t comment and just stared at the ground.

  “You’re not telling me everything,” Jesse said. “I need to know.”

  “Killing you isn’t exactly an option, okay?”

  “What does that mean?” Jesse said.

  The muscles in Liam’s neck tightened. “Look, kid. Unless I kill you, Slick’s going to kill us both.”

  Chapter 33

  “What?” Jesse stared at Liam, trying to process the gravity of his words. “Slick wants you to kill me?”

  “That’s right, or we’re both dead,” Liam said. “It’s so weird. A few hours ago I had my finger on the trigger, ready to take you out, then that tree limb saved me from doing something I would’ve regretted the rest of my life. But now I have to kill you. It’s not like I have a choice.”

  “That’s insane,” Jesse said, hardly able to catch his breath. “Why does he want me dead?”

  “Because if Slick lets you go, he knows you’ll tell the sheriff everything and the authorities will pick up his trail again. On the other hand, if he gets me to kill you, I can’t go to the sheriff because no one would ever believe I did it only because he forced me. He’s got me over a barrel.”

  Jesse blinked the stinging from his eyes. “I’m sorry, Mr. Berne. I came back to help you, not to make things worse.”

  “Mister Berne?” Liam exhaled and his whole being seemed to deflate. “Why do you have to be such a nice kid? This wouldn’t be so hard if you were a smart-mouth. Or had some attitude.”

  The fire outside the shelter was putting off a lot of light, and Jesse looked—really looked—into Liam’s eyes for the first time. “How do you know Slick will let you go, after you kill me? How do you know he isn’t planning to shoot you dead and then disappear?”