Love Beyond Wanting

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Love Beyond Wanting Page 15

by Bethany Claire


  “She likes you, Paton. That’s the only reason she gives you such a hard time. It’s not like you don’t ask for it. You annoy her on purpose because you like getting a reaction from her.”

  He shrugged as Maddock appeared in the doorway. “Mayhap so. It looks as if yer lover has returned. I’ll leave the two of ye alone.”

  Maddock punched his arm as he walked by. “Why doona ye have a little more respect than that, Paton? Lover sounds as if we are doing something untoward.”

  Paton laughed and blocked another swat from Maddock’s hand. “Some would say ye are.”

  Maddock ground his teeth. “Get out, Paton.”

  I could hear Paton’s laughter echoing down the hallway long after Maddock closed the door in his face.

  I waited until Maddock was seated at the small table where I’d situated our food to ask him about his conversation with Nicol. “So…how did it go?”

  Maddock sighed and looked down at the piece of cheese he held in his hand. “Nicol is beside himself. There is no doubt that the child is Machara’s. He has only ever been with her and Freya. While I’ve my own suspicions of Brachan, I’ve no desire to pass judgement before we’ve spoken to the lad. But if he plans to work with Machara, I shall have no qualms about killing him. Nicol, however, wishes to kill him on sight.”

  “What?” Horror surged through my body. “Why? Why would he want to do that to his own son?”

  “For years, Nicol told himself that his children with Machara were monsters. ’Twas the only way he could keep from losing himself to guilt and despair at their murders. If he allows himself to believe that Brachan might be different, then he must accept that all the others were, as well.”

  “Do you think he will feel that way once he meets him?”

  “No. I think when Nicol sees his own eyes looking back at him, it will send him into a grief that will be hard to come out of—one that he will have to work through in his own time.”

  Maddock still didn’t know that Brachan was already on the Isle. He needed to know so he could protect Brachan long enough for Nicol to truly see him, but I couldn’t bring myself to break my promise to the man who’d saved my life.

  “What does Nicol wish to do?”

  “He wishes to meet with everyone at dusk. He will tell the others what I have revealed to him. Together, we will decide how best to go and search for Nicol’s son. Until then, I would like to eat and mayhap take ye to my bed once more, for I suspect that after Nicol speaks with us, I will be sent away to look for Brachan since I’ve seen him before. I need all the memories of being with ye I can get to keep me sane while I’m away from ye.”

  I needed to find Brachan. I needed to tell him that the men would go looking for him if he didn’t make himself known soon, but I couldn’t tell Maddock that, and I certainly wasn’t opposed to being taken to his bed one more time.

  “Do you intend to keep me in your bed until dusk? If we keep it up at the rate we went last night, we are both going to be so sore, we won’t be able to move.”

  He lifted one brow mischievously. “I like the thought of that, but alas, no. ’Tis time for ye to meet Machara, but first…” He threw the cheese down, lifted me from the chair, and carried me to the bed. “I shall make love to ye once more.”

  Chapter 34

  The greenish light that filled Machara’s dungeon was enough to invoke fear in even the most courageous of people. The terror I felt while descending the stairs to the prison was so acute, I wasn’t sure I would’ve been able to move if not for Maddock’s reassuring hand on my back, slowly pushing me downward.

  As we neared the last step, he leaned down to whisper in my ear, “Doona breathe through yer nose, lass. It makes it worse. And doona let her see how frightened ye are.”

  I already knew that much. The last thing I would ever let Machara see was that I was frightened of her. That was exactly why I moved down so slowly—I needed every last step to gather my courage.

  She spoke before she even saw us, and her tone was as frightening and filled with malice as one would expect. “Ah, the new one has finally gathered the courage to come and see me.”

  At the end of the stairs, we stepped in front of her cell, and I saw her for the first time.

  I’m not sure what I expected, but every part of her was just a little bit more than what I imagined. She was taller, thinner, and her nails came to creepy long points that made me want to gag. Her neck was long and gorgeous, and her eyes were a color entirely inhuman in nature.

  Maddock spoke before I had the chance. “It had nothing to do with courage, Machara. She had no interest in seeing ye.”

  “Bollocks. I can smell the fear on her.”

  I could feel that Maddock meant to speak again, and I hurried to step in front of him. I didn’t appreciate either of them speaking about me as if I wasn’t there.

  “Maybe you’re smelling your own stench, Machara. Fear wasn’t what kept me away, it was disinterest. We’ve all been rather busy with the wedding. You remember my sister, don’t you? She’s the one you tried to kill, but she outwitted you so, so easily.”

  She hissed at the mention of my sister, and her face twisted into something that looked far more otherworldly than human, and it made me wonder just how capable she was of twisting her shape.

  “’Tis true that I grew reckless in my haste to be free of this prison, but I willna make the same mistake again.”

  Maddock stepped between us, his temper short as he spoke to her. “Yer son, Machara. We have him.”

  I watched her eyes carefully, but they gave nothing away.

  “Ye doona have him, but ye shall all know him soon enough.”

  He crossed his arms and kept his expression steady. “And just what do ye believe he will do to us?”

  She smiled, and every hair on my body prickled uncomfortably. “He will help me destroy ye. ’Tis his destiny to do so. He will be powerless to resist my call.”

  Maddock grabbed my hand and pulled me away, not stopping until we were up the stairs and back inside Nicol’s bedchamber.

  “Why would she tell you that?”

  “’Tis one of Machara’s many flaws. She believes herself invincible, even after being bested over and over again. She doesna hide anything, for she believes it doesna matter if we know. But it does, lass. And now, I am inclined to agree with Nicol. We canna allow Brachan to live.”

  *

  I had no time to sneak away to search for Brachan. I didn’t even have time to come clean to Maddock about the fact that I’d seen him several days ago. By the time Maddock and I stepped out of Nicol’s room, the men were gathering in the dining hall for their meeting with Nicol.

  I was tortured over what to do. I couldn’t allow them to sit around and make plans to kill an innocent man. I’d heard every word Machara said, but her words had done nothing to make me feel differently about him.

  I’d seen the pained expression in Brachan’s eyes. All of this was new to him, and he didn’t want Machara inside his mind. If there was any way for him to resist her, Brachan would find it. The Eight just needed to give him the chance.

  I didn’t ask if I could attend. I simply took a seat in what I presumed was usually Raudrich’s chair and ignored every surprised glance that passed my way.

  Maddock, at least, understood why I was in attendance.

  “Ignore them, lass. They doona yet know that this involves ye as much as anyone.”

  I decided my best course of action was to wait and see how the conversation panned out. Hopefully one of the other men would share my sentiment—that they couldn’t plan to kill a man who’d yet to do anything wrong.

  Nicol took the lead, but other than telling them that he’d learned one of his children with Machara still lived, he didn’t say much and quickly passed the baton to Maddock, who filled the rest of the men in on everything else.

  For much of Maddock’s explanation, the men seemed to be in agreement with my point of view, but the moment Maddock told the
m what Machara had said, their minds swayed to Maddock’s way of thinking.

  Harry was the first to voice his concern. “We canna risk it. We all remember how Machara was able to control Calder, and he dinna have a drop of her blood within him. This man is of her blood.”

  I stood, realizing it no longer benefited Brachan for me to keep his secret.

  “Wait just a minute, Harry. You guys have to judge this man for yourselves. Just because things played out with Calder one way, doesn’t mean they will work the same way with Brachan. After all, Brachan is half Nicol’s, and you know that must mean he has some goodness in him. I’ve spent more time with Brachan than anyone, and I truly don’t believe him to be a threat.”

  Paton spoke up from across the table. “Time, lass? Ye were unconscious for most of the time he spent by yer side.”

  I glanced at Maddock nervously. He would be so angry, but it was time for me to tell all of them. “I saw him after I was awake, and he was nothing but kind. And I saw him the other day in the village.”

  As if my mention of him summoned him from the ether, the doors to the dining hall opened, and Brachan stepped inside.

  Chapter 35

  “Forgive me for intruding. I’ve powers that allowed me to see ye were gathered here. I thought it best to come before ye all at once.”

  Maddock, God bless him. Despite his claims after meeting Machara that he was ready to kill Brachan, even though I knew my confession had him feeling betrayed and angry, he stood and put himself between Brachan and the rest of the men.

  “We must hear him out, lads. He dinna have to come here. He could have allowed us to search for him.”

  The rest of the men remained silent. As Maddock led Brachan over to the table, I glanced over to Nicol. He’d been standing, but he now sunk weakly back in his chair, his face going white. I could see his hand trembling from the other end of the table.

  I couldn’t imagine what he was thinking. A son he believed dead, a son he’d hated, one who looked just like him, was now standing before him. And like Maddock had suggested, it had to be difficult to deny Brachan’s humanity when you listened to his voice and looked into his eyes.

  Harry was the first one to speak after Maddock ushered Brachan over to my side. “If ye are not here to cause us harm, if ye doona mean to do Machara’s bidding, then how do ye know us? Ye dinna grow up here on this Isle. We would’ve seen ye before now if ye had.”

  Before Brachan said anything, he turned to look at me and smiled. “Hello, lass. Thank ye for trying to keep my secret, and thank ye for standing up for me just now.”

  I smiled and gave him a small nod, but his words made my stomach turn over. If my confession hadn’t been enough to make Maddock’s blood boil, Brachan had certainly driven the point home now. I gave him a careful glance, but Maddock wouldn’t meet my eye.

  Brachan then turned his attention to the men and made his plea. “I have known for my entire life that the woman who raised me is not the woman who gave birth to me, but I only recently learned of my lineage. I assure ye, I wish I dinna know. It brought me no joy to learn that the lass who gave birth to me could be so evil, nor to know that my father believed me dead and was glad of it.”

  Nicol looked as if he might be ill at any moment, but he said nothing. I wasn’t sure he was capable of it in this moment.

  Brachan continued, “I was born with magic inside me—powerful magic that has allowed me to heal many. I have always used my powers for good, but as of late, I can feel them twisting inside me. I can feel Machara reaching out to me. I can feel her calling me to her.

  “I am not here to help her, I swear to ye that. I am here to ask for yer help. Help in ridding me of the darkness that is beginning to overtake my mind. Help in severing any and all ties she may have on me.”

  For a long moment, no one said anything. One by one they turned their gazes to Nicol as they looked toward their master for guidance.

  Nicol cleared his throat and took a deep breath that caused some color to return to his cheeks. He planted both palms down on the table, and shakily pressed himself up until he was standing.

  “Brachan, lad. Come with me. There is much we need to discuss, and I doona wish to have an audience.”

  *

  “Ye lied, lass. Ye knew where he was, and ye kept it from me. How long have ye known?” Maddock was screaming. The muscles in his jaw looked like they might break right through the skin of his cheek.

  “I couldn’t tell you, Maddock. I promised him.”

  “I doona give a damn if ye promised him, lass. I asked ye a question. How long have ye known he was here?”

  I took a breath and closed my eyes. “Since the day before the wedding.”

  “For days, lass? Ye’ve known for days, and ye said nothing. After everything we shared together, how do ye ever expect me to trust ye again?”

  “Hang on.” I held up my palm to stop him, my own anger coming hot and fast. “Don’t you dare pull that crap. How could you trust a woman that breaks her promises to friends? Brachan was frightened, Maddock. Clearly he had good reason to be. Both you, Nicol, and Harry were ready to kill him before we walked into that room. I trust him. I believe every word he said at that table. He needs your help, not your anger.”

  “Lass…”

  “No.” I cut him off, opened the door to his bedroom and gestured with my hand for him to leave. “I’m not going to listen to you scream at me. Get out and cool off. I’m sorry if you feel betrayed, but I did the right thing. I don’t regret my decision. We can talk about this later.”

  He looked a bit like a dog with his tail between his legs when he left.

  *

  Was she right? Was it wrong of him to be angry with her? It was true that his first reaction to Machara’s words was to wish Brachan dead, but he truly wouldna have harmed the lad without determining his intentions first. Would he?

  He shouldn’t have yelled at her, he knew that much was true. She was right to send him from the room. The way she’d chided him, the way she’d stood up for herself and ordered him away…it made him hard just thinking about it.

  God, she was strong and smart and funny and beautiful. He loved her. He’d loved her from the moment he saw her. He was angry with her now, but he’d forgive her. There was no other option. Now that he had her, he couldn’t live without her.

  The garden was now everyone’s favorite place, but he was pleased that it seemed to be empty for the moment. He wanted to seek Freya’s council, and it would be good to check on the lass anyway. If news of Brachan’s arrival had reached her, she was bound to have her own feelings about the revelation.

  “Freya, lass. Where are ye?”

  He turned the corner by the fountain as she stepped into view.

  “Over here, lad. I doona believe Nicol will be down here this evening.”

  Maddock looked into Freya’s eyes, but they gave nothing away. “Why do ye say that?”

  She dipped her chin to look up at him from beneath her brows as she bent to sit at the edge of the fountain. “I know, Maddock. I’ve known for a verra long time.”

  “Ye what?”

  She sighed as he sat down next to her. “Maddock, I am tied to Machara whether I wish to be or not. Much of what she feels is revealed to me. I’ve known that Brachan lived for as long as I’ve been here.”

  She’d known for all these years? Why did the women of this castle seem to feel the need to keep such secrets?

  “And ye dinna tell him?”

  “What good would that have done, lad? I dinna believe he would ever see the child. I saw no need to cause Nicol pain.”

  “But ye are his wife, Freya. There should be no secrets between ye.”

  Freya laughed, a full, loud laugh that echoed throughout the garden. “What fool told ye that, Maddock? Every person has their secrets. They are necessary, and often they are kind.”

  He frowned. “I’m not sure if I agree with ye, Freya.”

  “’Tis fine. I doona need y
e to agree with me. Now.” She gave his knee a pat, and as always, it passed right through him. “I can see that there is something that troubles ye. Go and work it out with her, lad. ’Tis never good to stay angry with those we love.”

  Chapter 36

  I woke in the middle of the night to Maddock’s body pressed against mine, his lips kissing me along my jaw.

  “Kate, I need to tell ye something. Please, lass, wake up.”

  My eyelids fluttered open in the darkness. “Mm? What is it?”

  “In truth, ’tis two things, but I willna tell ye either until ye are rightly awake so I know ye heard me.”

  “But I was sleeping so well.”

  His hand trailed down my body, his thumb dragging across my stomach as his hand dipped between my legs to cup my center. I lifted my hips and groaned as I pushed against him, urging his fingers to move.

  “I’ll make it worth yer while, lass, but first…” He pulled his hand away. “We must talk.”

  I could see nothing. The room was pitch black, but I sat up in the darkness as I reached for his hand.

  “That’s cruel, Maddock, to tease me that way.”

  “’Tis not teasing ye if I mean to make good on my promise.”

  “Well, good. Just tell me whatever you need to so you can resume what you were doing.”

  He kissed me softly in the darkness, and I smiled against his lips.

  “I’m sorry, lass. I wish ye’d had more faith in me, but I canna fault ye for keeping the word ye gave to another. I shouldna have raised my voice to ye. I willna do it again.”

  I leaned forward to search for his lips so I could kiss him.

  “Thank you for that. I accept your apology. What’s the second thing?”

  “I love ye. I love ye so much it hurts. I love ye in a way I dinna know ’twas possible.”

  I was grateful for the darkness. It kept him from seeing the tears flooding my cheeks.

  “Do you really?”

  He reached for me in the darkness, pulling me close to him as he wrapped his arms around me. “I do, lass. I love ye now, and I verra much expect I shall love ye forever.”

 

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