I Just Need You

by J. Nathan

  “It’s not loaded,” he said, reading my mind. “We’re gonna practice aiming it without bullets first.”

  I released a breath. “Great idea.”

  He pulled another gun from his bag and showed me how to hold it away from my body and without my finger on the trigger.

  I mimicked his move.

  “Stand with your feet shoulder-width apart,” he said.

  I did as told.

  “Your right hand is your dominant hand, so have your right foot slightly back.”

  I slipped my right foot back a few inches.

  He bent his legs a little. “Knees are slightly bent.”

  I bent my legs slightly.

  “Bend over your waist a tiny bit.” He did it to show me.

  I followed his lead, feeling a little uncomfortable.

  “You’ll lose balance with the recoil if you’re upright and that won’t work.”

  I nodded, trying to take it all in.

  “Let’s talk about your eyes.”

  “I’ve been told they’re pretty,” I said, trying to lighten the serious mood.

  “Smartass.”

  I smiled, though it quickly faded.

  “I want you to do everything in your power to keep both eyes open when you shoot. People tend to close their eyes or only keep one eye open, but I want you to work hard to keep both eyes open so you’re not cutting off half or all of your vision. You can squint if that’s easier.”

  “Both eyes open. Squint. Got it.”

  “Okay, now I need you to find a spot and aim at it. Start with a larger target that’s about seven yards away, like that mannequin,” he said pointing at the bullet-riddled mannequin.

  I lifted the gun in one hand.

  “Be sure your finger is not on the trigger yet.”

  I nodded.

  “Now, use your left hand to grab the grip almost over your right hand so you’re giving yourself complete support.”

  I did what he said and could feel the added support of two hands.

  “Now, keep your arms steady and find your target with both eyes. Do you see it?”

  I nodded.

  “Move your finger to the trigger.”

  “Now?”

  “Yes.”

  “You sure?”

  “You can do it,” he assured me, his tone becoming comforting and kind.

  The steel of the gun was cold and the idea that I was about to shoot it was terrifying. “Like this?” I asked as I slipped my finger onto the trigger.

  “Perfect. Now, keep your eyes open and on your target.”

  I nodded.

  “Now, pull the trigger.”

  I locked eyes on the bare chest of the mannequin and squeezed the trigger. The gun clicked. I looked to Tristan with the gun still aimed at the mannequin. “Was that good?”

  “I’d say you hit his heart.”

  “Liar.”

  He chuckled again, and the sound brought a lightness to my chest that the otherwise grim setting had dulled. “Let’s try a few more targets, then I’ll load the gun.”

  I swallowed around the lump that shot to my throat.

  He pointed across the way. “Try that sack on the ground.”

  ***

  As we drove through town on our way back to campus, my body buzzed with an unfamiliar feeling. I’d shot a gun. And the power I felt behind that weapon, knowing I could protect myself if I needed to, was a true adrenaline rush—both gratifying and terrifying all wrapped up in one. “Why’d you really take me there today?” I asked Tristan.

  He looked at me. “You need to be able to protect yourself.”

  “No, I’m serious, Tristan. Why?”

  “What happened to your bodyguard in France?” he asked.

  I flinched at the mention of Andre, his question sucking the air right out of the car.

  “Those men were able to get past him to get to you. Shit happens. I’m no superhero, Kresley. If I get shot, there’s a chance they could get to you.”

  “Are you trying to make me feel better or scare the hell out me?”

  “I just want you to be prepared for anything.” He looked at me and then to the road. “I’m sure growing up you always thought nothing would happen to you. Like the security your parents required for you was unnecessary. But then it wasn’t.”

  I said nothing because he hit the nail on the head. As a teenager, I’d been annoyed by my security, especially since a lot of my friends could come and go as they pleased without having to clear it with anyone.

  “And I bet you thought nothing would happen to your bodyguard. But then it did. You need to be prepared.” He leveled me with his eyes. “And now you are.”

  I turned to the window and stared out, trying to stop my racing heart from bouncing around in my chest. He’d brought up France and Andre. Two things I tried to never think about. Look where it got me the other night. As soon as I opened up to Tristan about the Frenchman taunting me, images of that horrific night filled my nightmares.

  “I’m sorry if this is hard for you to hear,” he continued.

  I shook my head before glancing back to him. “Thanks for taking me. It means a lot.”

  “Let’s just hope you never need to use your new skills.”

  “You mean my new, super-secret, assassin skills?” I said.

  He chuckled, the deep sound filling the SUV and easing the tension I’d been feeling since we’d been talking about France. “Let’s not get crazy now.”

  “Hey, you’re the one who gave me a gun.”

  “To keep under your bed,” he stressed. “Promise me you’ll never take it out unless necessary.”

  “You don’t have to worry. Having that thing in my hand terrifies me. I won’t be playing with it any time soon.”

  “Good.”

  We drove for a little while before I asked, “Did you think I did a good job. You know, for my first time?”

  “Yeah. I’d possibly consider having you as my bodyguard in like ten years if you keep up the good work.”

  I absorbed the details of his face, and the way his eyes softened at the edges. “Was that a joke? Because I think that was a joke.”

  He shrugged.

  “Tristan Stone is officially a comedian. Not a very good one. But in maybe ten years or so, he just might bring down the house.”

  Tristan

  I wouldn’t lie and say Kresley didn’t make me laugh. Okay, maybe I’d lie to her about it. But, truthfully, she had a great personality for someone who should’ve been in daily counseling or on heavy meds for what she’d endured. And, being around her definitely had its benefits. She smelled great. Had a killer body. And she definitely wasn’t terrible to look at.

  Working security definitely hardened a person. You always expected the worst from people, waiting for the next scumbag to come out of the woodwork to pose a threat for your client. So, having a little of Kresley’s femininity rub off on me, making me feel warm in all the right places when most of my life had been dark, hadn’t necessarily been a bad thing.

  And did I mention what a complete badass she’d been shooting the gun? She’d gotten bolder as our training session went on, firing at will with confidence in her abilities. And I knew, if she ever needed to handle a gun again, she’d feel more comfortable—at least more comfortable than she’d been when we arrived at the gun range. But I wasn’t delusional enough to think that had cured her of her bad dreams. I knew once we were back at the dorm, she’d be scared to close her eyes. It was such a paradox. One I certainly wasn’t able to explain. But one I knew all too well.

  Silence descended upon the car. I was used to her grilling me to get me talking. But she had gotten quiet. And that freaked me the hell out. Was she gearing up to ask me about my nightmare? Because that was not a conversation I planned to have with her. I wasn’t the type of guy to open myself up to people—especially clients. And while I knew Kresley would’ve appreciated it if I did—seeing as though she was so forthcoming with what she’d be
en through, it was as if I wasn’t in control of my mouth when I was around her. I just couldn’t not push her buttons. Just like she couldn’t not push mine. It’s what our entire relationship had been based on. And I didn’t know how to stop.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  Tristan

  “She wants to do what?” I asked Marco as we stood outside of Kresley’s class the next day.

  “She wants us to go bowling with her and her two friends,” he repeated.

  “She’s lost her damn mind. Does she not understand our job is to protect her? How the hell can we protect her while we’re fucking bowling?”

  He shrugged. “It’s her birthday.”

  “Her birthday?” How did I not know that?

  He nodded. “I think she’s just looking for a little normalcy. She suffered a traumatic experience. And now she’s away from home again in a new place with threats still out there. I think she’s just trying to create a sense of security with a safe group of people.”

  I didn’t say anything because I understood. After I’d lost my parents, I only had my grandfather. I would’ve given anything to have more people to surround me—and distract me from the nightmares plaguing my mind.

  “She trusts us,” Marco continued. “Therefore, she wants to keep us close. Our job makes it so we’re always on the outskirts but never quite in the mix. I think she needs us in the mix.”

  “But that’s not part of the job description.”

  “Neither is sitting inside her room.” He cocked his head. “Or taking her for target practice.”

  I’d been waiting for him to broach the subject, but now that he had, I had no good response. Taking her to the shooting range had been a spur of the moment decision. Because, one, I wanted to distract her from what happened in her room when I fell asleep. That never should have happened given I was on duty. And, two, she needed to know how to protect herself. The threat against her was real. And, I wasn’t going to treat it like it wasn’t.

  Kresley

  “This is so Grease 2,” Alice said as Marco opened the back door when we arrived at the bowling alley.

  “I love that movie,” I said as she scooted out of the backseat. “It’s totally underrated.”

  “Agreed,” Alice said.

  “This is gonna be so much fun!” Elodie said as she followed Alice out.

  Tristan opened my door.

  I stepped out with my birthday tiara and sash on and lifted my brows. “Excited?”

  He rolled his eyes but I just smiled, because he and Marco were wearing jeans and dark shirts, looking more like willing partygoers than bodyguards forced to have fun with me. And, even if they hated the idea of being there, they were playing along.

  As soon as we entered the bowling alley, the crack of pins being knocked down filled the air. Chatter from groups spread out on various lanes filled me with excitement. This was going to be so much fun!

  Two guys in dark security gear approached Marco and Tristan, speaking with their voices low. No wonder they agreed to go bowling. They’d called in backup.

  The alternate security guards, who looked to be about Tristan’s age, led us to our lane. They were both stocky with buzz cuts.

  Our multi-colored shoes awaited us at our lane, so we found our sizes and slipped into them. Alice took off for the nearby bar, passing our new bodyguards with her signature curtsy. She returned before we’d even finished picking out our bowling balls with a pitcher of beer for us to share. Marco and Tristan shook their heads. Even though I’d given them the night off—kind of—they still felt as though they were on duty.

  Alice filled three plastic cups. She grabbed her cup and lifted it. Elodie and I followed her lead. “May twenty-two be your best year yet! Happy Birthday!”

  My cheeks heated, hating the attention, but I tapped my glass to theirs nonetheless with a smile on my face—so lucky to have found two girls who’d taken me in and made me one of their own.

  I downed half my cup then sat on the outdated white and brown plastic bench as Elodie got up to bowl.

  Marco and Tristan stood off to the side with their bowling shoes on and arms crossed.

  “You two need to loosen up,” I said. “You’re lucky I didn’t make you go clubbing with us.”

  “That’s next,” Alice declared with her cup raised in the air.

  We took turns bowling, but it was no surprise that Marco and Tristan were kicking our asses. But I didn’t care. I sat back and watched everyone, taking it all in. It seemed so normal. So unlike my life. Elodie and Alice were having so much fun even though most of their balls landed in the gutter. Their laughter was infectious and I had no choice but to join in. This night was about so much more than bowling for me—or my birthday for that matter. This was about finding the people I felt comfortable and safe with. It was about having people around me who cared about me—at least they seemed like they cared about me. It was about seeing Marco and Tristan loosen up even a smidge.

  “We need another pitcher,” Alice announced and she and Elodie headed back to the bar for more beer.

  Tristan threw a strike and turned around like it was no big deal. I drank him in as he walked back. He was so good looking that I almost needed to look away sometimes for fear of being caught with my mouth gaping open. That electrical jolt I felt that first night I’d run into him buzzed to life, and I couldn’t tear my eyes away from him.

  Marco walked over to bowl next. Tristan eyed the vacant spot on the bench next to me. I held my breath, hoping he sat beside me. He, however, opted for the scorer’s chair and sat with his back to me.

  Did he not trust himself? Was he turned off by my tipsiness? Freaked out by my gawking? Or just as confused about our strange rollercoaster of a relationship as me?

  Marco threw a strike before turning around with a smirk.

  “Show off!” I called as I pushed myself to my feet, stepping past them both to get my ball. I felt their eyes on me, and I prayed I didn’t throw a gutter ball. I approached the line, eyed the pins in their perfect triangle, and released the ball. It rolled straight all the way down the lane. “Come on, come on, come on,” I murmured. The ball hooked left just before getting to the pins and hit one pin.

  “Show off,” Marco called.

  I turned around and smiled. “All part of the game, my friend.” I grabbed another ball and stood on the line again. I focused on the remaining pins and released the ball. It stayed straight all the way to the end and hit the front pin, knocking all the others down. Spare! My arms shot up as I spun to face them.

  Marco shook his head, amused by my obvious excitement. When I looked to Tristan, he was grinning. I blinked hard, his grin nearly stopping me in my tracks. It was so foreign. So strange on his face. But at the same time, so beautiful and breathtaking.

  I snapped out of my momentary haze and lowered my arms, walking back toward my seat. “That’s how it’s done boys,” I said as I passed by them.

  “Oh, is it?” Tristan said, almost playful.

  I froze, scared that one of the other Tristans would return if I spoke.

  “We’re back!” Alice and Elodie called.

  I turned my attention away from Tristan as Alice placed another pitcher of beer down on our table.

  We spent the remainder of our time sharing the pitcher, getting worse at bowling, becoming a tiny bit sloppy…and a smidge too loud. My spare was a thing of the past and gutter balls were how I finished my night. Marco and Tristan didn’t seem to mind though. They must’ve known I needed this.

  On the car ride home, every time a new song came on the radio, one of us screamed out that it was our favorite song. We proceeded to sing the songs at the top of our lungs. At one point, Marco opened the window, likely trying to drown out our bad singing with the noise from the air outside. But we didn’t care. We kept at it until we reached our dorm.

  Tristan pulled to a stop in front of the entrance.

  “I just want to thank everyone for celebrating my birthday with me,” I s
aid with a slight slur, hoping they all knew how much it meant to me. “This was a wonderful birthday.” It might not have been the most conventional birthday, but nothing about my life had been conventional.

  “Awwwww.” The girls wrapped their arms around me and squeezed me.

  Neither Tristan nor Marco said anything, but at least they knew I appreciated them being there and making my birthday special.

  Marco stepped out of the car and opened the back door. The three of us tumbled out, all giggling at our lack of balance. Marco stood there as we righted ourselves.

  Elodie threw her arms around him and hugged him, causing him to freeze. “Thanks, big man.”

  “Be careful. He’s got a gun,” I whispered.

  Elodie released him. Alice didn’t seem to care about his weapon because she wrapped her arms around him next. “Thanks, sweet cheeks.”

  His grimace was hysterical.

  I saved him the awkwardness by not touching him, instead joining the girls at the closed door.

  Tristan drove off to park the car while Marco walked us into the building and escorted us upstairs. I said my goodbyes to the girls then Marco checked my bedroom so I could grab my toiletries. He checked the restroom before I washed up and brushed my teeth. Then we finally retreated to my room for one last sweep. He turned to leave.

  “Thanks, Marco,” I called to him.

  “No problem, ma’am.” He glanced back to me to see my reaction.

  I flipped him off which earned me a chuckle before he closed my door, leaving me alone.

  The sudden quiet caused an emptiness to creep into my chest that I hadn’t felt all night. I slipped into my pajamas, wondering if I’d sleep since I’d had so much to drink. I also wondered if Tristan assumed the same thing and wouldn’t come by.

  As I climbed into bed, images from the night began to fill my head. And all of them involved Tristan. His breathtaking smile. His lack of annoyance at me and my drunk friends. The normal Tristan would’ve become all grouchy, but he seemed to let it roll off him, even finding it amusing at times.

  I closed my eyes and was about to drift off to sleep when I heard my door knob rattle.