Alpha's Last Fight: A Paranormal Shapeshifter BBW Romance

by Rose, Aubrey

  Balance. That was all; that was everything. I understood. I got it.

  In the middle of the ring, Hutch was standing over the crumpled body of the man, and the people around me were screaming, and I let the wolf inside of me hover so close that everything burned with light, light and sensation, and I couldn’t tell whether I was looking out at the world from my own eyes or from the burning amber eyes of her, of my wolf.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Hutch

  I stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt this good after a fight. No bruises, no cuts, to be honest I couldn’t recall Darryl getting a single hit in. Usually it was fairly close between the two of us.

  It felt like a demonstration. A demonstration of what I was capable of when I dropped the theatrics, when I stopped trying to be the best and just let myself be the best. I wanted her to see. To make her understand… her painting, my fighting, it came from the same place.

  The rush was still there. The need to bed the nearest available woman that inevitably followed a victory, or a loss for that matter, in the ring. But tonight it was tempered by something else, or more precisely, someone else.

  I wondered if Nat might want to hang out with the pack again tonight. Things usually got pretty rowdy and sometimes pretty raunchy. Or so I’d been told. More often than not I’d be off banging that night’s conquest and someone would have to fill in the blanks for me the morning after.

  Shit. I couldn’t deny she was getting to me.

  I turned just in time to see Natalie bounding across the locker room towards me. When she was in range, she leaped towards me, and I plucked her from the air as she locked her legs around my waist, the hem of her dress bunching inappropriately at her hip.

  Without warning, her lips found mine. Hungrily devouring them, with a kiss that felt more like some kind of assault. I was used to aggressive women, but this was new from her. If it were anyone else, I’d be fighting back by now. Returning the kiss in kind, letting them know who was in charge. But for her, I made an exception.

  She pulled away and gasped for breath.

  “Holy crap, Hutch, you were incredible!”

  “Yeah. Yeah, I was.”

  “I could see it. I could see it all. The way you moved. The give and take. Strength and grace and just everything. It was like a symphony. It was like a thunderstorm. It was—”

  “Okay, okay, I get it.” I couldn’t resist laughing at her unbridled enthusiasm.

  She unhooked her legs and returned to standing, smoothing down the fabric of her dress. It looked more than nice on her. A pretty summer thing that was out of place in this beat up locker room, but perfect on her. She knew I liked her in a dress.

  I felt an unwelcome twitching beneath my towel. Yes, I wanted her and yes, I planned to have her tonight. But not here. Although… I glanced around; the locker room was pretty quiet. And one of the perks of being pack leader was I’d never get kicked out for making a scene.

  I was going to suggest we get a little more naked, but she spoke first.

  “When was the last time you had sex, Hutch?”

  “Uh, the night before our first date, I guess. With Gina. Why?”

  “That was a week ago. When was the last time you went without sex for a week?”

  She had me there. I thought back but I really couldn’t think of any time I’d gone that long without. I mean why would I? Even when I’d been injured, I could still get it up, and flat on my back in the infirmary or not, I could always find someone willing to take care of it.

  “When was the last time you went without sex for two days?”

  “I don’t know, since I was a kid, I guess. I don’t really keep track of that kind of stuff. It’s like asking when was the last time I didn’t take a dump for two days.”

  “That’s just… such a wonderful metaphor Hutch. You’ve outdone yourself.”

  She was making fun of me, but I didn’t mind. I liked crazy, excited Nat.

  “Where are you going with this?”

  “Put some pants on. Or not. And come with me.”

  I got rid of my towel and pulled on a clean pair of sweats. They didn’t do much to hide the fact that I was more than a little aroused. I caught her admiring the view, but she didn’t seem embarrassed by it. She took me by the arm and led the way.

  “I have one question for you, Hutch. One question and I want you to think very long and very hard about it.”

  She stepped around me as she spoke, her arm brushing a bulge that must have been becoming increasingly obvious. That can’t have been an accident. Unless I was seriously misreading the situation, it looked as if she had finally succumbed to my charms. Better late than never.

  “The question is… why me?”

  I shrugged. I had assumed she was leading me to the main camp, or at least to my trailer, but it seemed like we were avoiding them altogether.

  “I think you’re… I mean you’ve got nice… I like that dress.”

  “You really are terrible at this, aren’t you?” She smiled.

  “I don’t see what the problem is. I think you’re hot. I want to fuck you. Why does it have to be more complicated than that?”

  “Because it is more complicated than that. It’s been more complicated than that for a week now… and here we are. I might not be the epitome of physical perfection, but I know some guys like what I’ve got going on. But that’s not what I’m asking. I don’t want to know why I get you hard. I want to know why, here and now, a week later, you haven’t given up on me.”

  “So what do I win if I get the right answer?” I tried to make a joke of it, but for a reason I didn’t fully understand, this line of inquiry was making me feel pretty uncomfortable.

  “Oh Hutch.” She spread her arms to show what lay beyond the wall she’d taken me to. A familiar field, looking very unfamiliar in the light of a full moon. “Give me the right answer and you get to train me some more.”

  “Oh, like now?”

  “Sure, why not?”

  “I’m pretty beat, Nat, I thought maybe we could just, y’know... hang out.” I doubt I sounded very convincing, and I hadn’t even convinced myself.

  She stood on her tiptoes to address me with a conspiratorial whisper. She didn’t even come up to my shoulders.

  “Don’t look so disappointed. I didn’t say what we’d be training for, did I?”

  I grinned and she ran into the middle of the field, doing a twirl so her dress lifted around her, revealing glimpses of creamy thighs glowing in the moonlight. It was as if, before that moment, I had no idea just how much I wanted her. She called to me across the field, her voice clear and crisp in the night air.

  “Ask me how long it’s been since the last time I had sex!”

  I jogged across the field towards her, I wanted this to be between us, not something she had to yell. As I got close, I noticed she had tears in her eyes, glinting like diamonds in the night. I reached her and took her hands, listening. When she spoke again, her voice was a whisper.

  “I almost had sex. Once. I didn’t really want to. I was scared. I wasn’t ready. So when he tried to make me… I made him stop. I hurt him, Hutch. I hurt him really bad.”

  “Never?” My jaw dropped. I would never have guessed, not in a million years. She was so gorgeous, and… well, shit.

  “Not once. I’ve come close a couple of times. But no.”

  “But you can, right? Like you, uh… jerk off and that.” I spread my hands, claiming ignorance as she fixed me with a disapproving look. “Shit, I don’t know what women call it. Jerk… in?”

  “Yes Hutch, I do that. I like sex, Hutch. I like the idea of it. I like the promise of it. I like it a lot. I just don’t like hurting people. I don’t want to hurt anyone.”

  “You won’t hurt me.”

  “No.” She touched my bare arm and I felt a chill. “I won’t hurt you. But not because you’re bigger than me and stronger than me. I won’t hurt you because of
what you’ve shown me. I get it now. I really do. I saw it when you were fighting. Balance, not control. I’m not scared of hurting you or anyone anymore.”

  “That’s amazing. You think you can find a balance. Like right now? Is that why you want to do more training?”

  She grinned.

  “Look at me, Hutch.”

  “I can’t stop looking at you.”

  “No. Look at me.”

  I looked at her.

  I sensed it before I saw it. The hairs on my arms prickling, the faintest scent of something unfamiliar and new. And then, as a cloud passed and the moon shined down on her once more, the faintest hint of a golden halo around her iris.

  “You did this, Hutch. Here in this field, in my paintings, in the ring. You showed me the way and for that I will always be in your debt. I don’t think you’ll ever fully understand what this means to me. But I still need to know. “

  “Know what? I don’t get it.”

  “Why me?”

  “Well, for a start, you’ve got nice…”

  I made a lunge for her breasts, but she darted away. She wasn’t exactly graceful, but I was surprised at how fast she moved.

  “Yeah, tell me something I don’t know. And you’re not getting anywhere near them until you answer the question. Why me?”

  I shrugged. If this was some sort of game, I clearly didn’t understand the rules.

  “No! You don’t get to do this without an explanation.”

  She lunged at me with surprising speed and ferocity, but compared to what I was used to, she might as well have been moving in slow motion. I sidestepped and grabbed her by the arm, swinging her round so we faced each other.

  She growled up at me through bared teeth and when she spoke, it was with a delicious vibrating purr at the back of her throat.

  “You don’t get to shrug your shoulders and pretend nothing matters except fucking and fighting. I matter. I matter or you wouldn’t have come back to me after that first kiss. You wouldn’t have invited me into your home and made sure your pack treated me like family. I matter to you, Hutch. Stop pretending I don’t, and tell me why. Tell me!”

  She brought her fists down against my chest to emphasize her point. This wasn’t the first time she’d hit me like this, but before, I’d barely noticed. This had all her strength behind it. All her strength. I pulled her across my leg and tripped her, catching her before she fell to the ground. She was under me now, pinned and trying to wriggle free.

  “I don’t know, okay? What does it matter? I don’t know.”

  “Why? Why?”

  She was snarling now, snapping at me as she tried to free her arms. She was formidable in a way I could never have expected and I found myself having to call on some of my own inner strength to keep her under control.

  What was most remarkable was the fact that she wasn’t shifting. To let her emotions get the better of her like this but stay in human form was impressive. I’d known people who’d trained for years and never got the hang of it.

  “I don’t know.”

  And just like that, the fight went out of her and she went limp in my arms.

  “Then I can’t, Hutch. I can’t.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Natalie

  The fight had gone out of me. The beast was still there. I was there with it, balanced for the first time in my life. Like me, the beast was powerless. Awed by this man to the point of submission. But I wouldn’t give into desire without knowing what would come next.

  “I can’t do this, Hutch. Not if you can’t tell me why I matter to you. I don’t want to be a notch on your bedpost. Lie if you have to. I need something more than physical desire. I can’t... I can’t...”

  I begged him as I lay there in his arms. Some part of me felt like I should be fighting this, that I should walk away. That no one should have this sort of power over me. But I didn’t want to. It felt too right.

  Even though both sides of me, the woman and the wolf, lusted after him, the whole of me needed him to admit that I was more than just another in a long line of disposable conquests. I needed to know why he didn’t just cast me aside at the first sign of resistance.

  Maybe it was too much to expect this from someone who was struggling with his own demons. “I love you” is hard to say sometimes. But even an admission that he liked me in a romantic way, or had any intention of ever calling me after I gave in. Or call me at all. Did this man even have a phone? Who doesn’t have a phone?

  “I give up.” I stared up at the night sky. “Whatever it is, Hutch, whatever you want, whatever you need, take it. Just tell me why I matter—”

  He drew back, and I choked on the words. If this drove him away from me, then so be it. I didn’t want to be with a man who didn’t love me for more than my body.

  Even if Hutch was the only man who could handle me, and the monster that lay in wait inside of my body. Even if he was the only one I trusted to handle me.

  Even if I loved him.

  My heart broke as he knelt over me and I waited for something I couldn’t have. Then he spoke.

  “Because…”

  His voice was perhaps the most frightening thing I had ever heard in my life. It wasn’t a human voice.

  “An alpha…”

  It was as if the wolf spoke. Not an actor playing a wolf, but the wolf itself. Canine vocal chords somehow forming howls into words that cut through my soul like a saw, jagged and aching.

  “needs…”

  I felt his shadow fall over me like sheet blocking out the sky. He was almost a wolf, almost but not quite. He was still recognizable as Hutch, beneath the hair and fangs and claws. He was still a man.

  “a mate.”

  My lips parted in shock. In the dark, I could see Hutch shifting back to human form, then wolf form, then back. His body was fluid, the muscles turning and twisting as he moved between man and beast.

  “This is what I am, Natalie,” Hutch growled. “You have to understand that. I won’t stay human for you. Not for anyone. I need this side of me.”

  “A—a mate?”

  My mind was still locked on the last thing he’d said. It was one thing to tell me he loved me, but mating? I wasn’t sure if he meant what I thought he meant. He leaned closer and I saw his eyes, ringed gold in the dim night.

  “I’m not here for a fuck, Natalie. I want more. I want you. All of you. The woman out here—” he said, sliding his hand down my body and sending shivers through my core, “—and the wolf inside of you. I want both. I need both. I need a mate. Be mine.”

  I had expected him to lie. I had expected him to sweet talk me. I had expected all of these things, but the one thing I hadn’t expected was for him to push farther than I could ever have imagined. My head swam.

  “I don’t understand, Hutch. What does that...what do you mean?”

  Hutch’s lips touched my brow lightly, almost sweetly. His breath made me twitch under his body.

  “I want you for me, Natalie,” he said. “I want you to give yourself to me completely and forever. I want to be your mate, and I want you to be mine.”

  I licked my lips.

  “How can you be so sure?” I asked.

  “I’ve known ever since the first night you came to watch me fight. There was something special about you. I needed to pull you out of yourself. I wanted to see you ride the edge of your animal. And when you pulled back, something pulled me toward you. I don’t know why, but I know that you’re the right woman for me. And I think you know it, too.”

  I thought about Hutch coming over, looking at my paintings and knowing how I felt. I thought about the first fight, when he took my breath away just by standing close to me. And now he was asking me to let the monster loose. I’d told him I understood, but there was a world of difference between understanding and doing.

  “I don’t know if I can shift now, Hutch. I don’t...”

  “Do you want me?”

  His eyes glowed above mine, desire burning in his face.
My body ached for him to take me. He had no idea what kind of physical reaction he inspired inside of me. There was so much want. And so much fear. My words came out a whisper.

  “More than anything.”

  “Then let me lead you. Don’t worry.”

  “If I hurt you—”

  “Natalie. I can take care of myself. Okay?”

  Lying there in his arms, the grass under my back, I trusted him. God damn me if I was wrong, but I trusted him. I clenched my teeth and nodded.

  He kissed me, his hands moving down over my body. At every pause he squeezed, he licked, he breathed pleasure into me. My lips moved back against his, but my mind was deeper inside of me, watching the monster begin to stir.

  Without any hesitation, he lifted my hips and drew my dress up. I lifted my arms over my head and let him undress me. He moved slowly, one hand sliding up my thigh as the other unhooked my bra. The night air hit my skin, and I gasped as he moved down and took my nipple in his mouth.

  “Hutch—“

  “Relax,” he said. His tongue flicked out against the hard aching nub and I moaned with pleasure and fear. The animal under my skin was fully awake now and restless, like a wolf pacing in a cage. I was scared to let it out.

  “The wolf doesn’t want to hurt. The wolf wants to come out and play. The wolf wants a taste of this world.”

  He sucked hard at my nipple and I arched back. My shoulders pressed against the cold grass and the stars above me in the sky seemed to pulse brightly.

  “Let it out,” he said.

  I took a breath in and closed my eyes. My animal was there, waiting, hungry. I relaxed, and felt it slip out of its cage. Adrenaline filled my body and my blood began to pump hot and fast. My face grew hot and I could tell it was coming out, too fast, too fast—

  “No,” I whispered. I opened my eyes and saw thousands of stars whirling in the sky, more than I had ever seen before. Hutch was right there, his hand on my cheek. His scent was overpoweringly strong, and it made me want to grab him and roll him over, take him myself. I struggled to keep control.

  “There you go,” he said. “Just a peek. You can sense things better now, yes?”