Mending the Soul

by Alexis Lauren

  "As I started to explain to you before, I was asleep when you were talking to me. I had the most amazing dream, and even though it wasn't the best time to have the dream, I'm glad I did. I feel a lot more at peace now." Nicholas said and then explained his dream to her. After he told her the main part of his dream, he said, "So after she gave me her blessing to move on with you, she told me that she loved me, and that must be where I told her I loved her too. It was like it was our chance to say goodbye to each other. We never had that chance. She was taken from me without any closure, and I feel like I finally got that closure in the dream that morning. I wasn't trying to hurt you, if anything, I think that dream would have made things better between us. Yes, it would have been ideal to have the dream some other time, but I can't control what I dream about. I didn't even know I had said it until Vanessa told me what had happened. I didn't even know that you told me you loved me. I had no clue what had you so upset that you just started yelling at me and ran out of my house. You have to know that I would never knowingly hurt you Jenna, you mean too much to me."

  "I don't know anything anymore." Jenna said, shifting her eyes to the ground. She didn't know whether she should believe him, and if she did believe him, then should she be angry that he was dreaming about his first wife after they had just slept together, even though she was in the dream too? Jenna got up from the table and walked to the house, not saying a word to Nicholas.

  "Jenna?" He called out as she walked to the house. She didn't look back, just walked inside and shut the door. Nicholas put his head in his hands, worried that Jenna would never forgive him. He had felt a little encouragement when she had called him over, and it gave him some hope that things would work out between them. But now, after seeing Jenna walk into her house, not saying a word to him, he wasn't so sure. The only thing he was sure of was that he wasn't going to give up on her. He got up and went back to his house, trying to come up with some sort of plan to get Jenna to forgive him. If only he could get a second chance, he'd make sure that he showed her every single day just how much he loved her.

  *****

  "Well?" Vanessa asked when Jenna came back inside.

  "I don't know. Before I talked to him, I was so angry, and I didn't want anything to do with him. Now I am so confused, I couldn't tell you what is going through my head." Jenna told her, in a slight daze.

  "Well, why don't you try to tell me what you're thinking?" Vanessa suggested.

  "Ok, maybe I blew things a little out of proportion, and he had no idea what I was telling him. I thought that he was awake when I was talking to him. And I am so happy for him to feel like he finally has some closure with Leslie, but the fact is that he was dreaming of her right after we made love. Isn't there something wrong with that?"

  "Jenna, you know that you can't control what you dream about." Vanessa pointed out to her.

  "I know, but wouldn't that suggest that there was something wrong, that he was dreaming about Leslie just after we made love? I mean, something wrong in his sub-conscious?" Jenna questioned.

  "Or maybe it was his sub-conscious telling him that something was finally right." Vanessa told her. "Besides, it wasn't just Leslie in that dream, you were in it too."

  Jenna nodded. "I guess so. How do I know though?"

  "I don't know the answer to that Jens. I think you just need to give it time to figure it out. Besides, you know how many times I dream about Josh Duhamel after I have sex with Nathan? Hell, do you know how much Josh Duhamel enters my mind, not even just in dreams? But it doesn't mean anything. It doesn't lessen my feelings for Nathan at all, it's just a distant fantasy." Vanessa reasoned.

  "But I don't want him to fantasize about his dead wife. I feel like I'll forever live in her shadow." Jenna sighed.

  "It's not like it was a sex dream that included his dead wife, so I doubt it was a fantasy. I was just pointing that out to you, to try to tell you that even though I think of the Vegas hottie, my real life hottie doesn't mean any less to me." Vanessa said, starting to get a little frustrated. "Why do you feel like you'll forever live in her shadow? Nicholas is moving on with his life, and that means putting Leslie in his past. How many times has he told you that he's ready to do that for you?"

  "Yeah, he's ready to put her in the past, but then he goes and had a dream about her." Jenna said.

  "A dream about closure." Vanessa replied. "Honey, it's time to get over this. Either you're going to forgive him or you're not, but it's time to stop dwelling on this!" Vanessa gathered her purse and keys. "I have to go now. You need to work this out for yourself now."

  "I know. I'm sorry that I keep bothering you with this. I really appreciate your help through all of this. I guess I just need to figure things out on my own now. Thank you for all your help." Jenna said as she walked her best friend to the door. She gave Vanessa a hug, then went to lay down on the couch to try to sort her mind out. Was her love for Nicholas strong enough to pull her through this

  Chapter 17 Bait and Switch

  After their talk, Jenna was slowly starting to warm back up to Nicholas. Now, instead of completely ignoring Nicholas when she saw him outside, Jenna smiled and waved politely, then went on with her business. Nicholas laughed at her actions, but figured two things out. One, that Jenna had too much pride to just come out and say that she was sorry or that she forgave Nicholas, and two, that she was coming around and he'd have her back soon.

  Jenna knew now that she was making the situation worse than it had to be, but she didn't know what to do to rectify their situation. She couldn't just come out and tell him that she was done stewing and that she wanted to get back together with him. She was just going to have to wait for him to make the first move. After all, it was his fault that they were in this situation to begin with. She just hoped that he would do something soon to get them back together. Jenna missed hanging out with him more than she cared to admit.

  Vanessa had tried to get Jenna to suck it up and make the move to get back with Nicholas, but Jenna just couldn't do it. "Besides," Jenna told Vanessa, "I made the first move by calling him over here to explain what happened that night. Shouldn't the ball be in his court now?"

  Vanessa threw up her hands in frustration. "You two are both stubborn. He thinks you should make the first move because you were the one pissed and you think he should do it because you already made a so-called first move? I give up. I have wasted too much time on your relationship and not enough on my own. You sit here with your stubborn pride and be miserable while I go home and have crazy, wild sex with my boyfriend. Hope that doesn't leave you with too many mental images while you sit here, ALONE!"

  Jenna glared at Vanessa as she walked out. She felt bad that she had been putting Vanessa in the middle of the Nicholas/Jenna saga, but Vanessa was her best friend. If she couldn't talk to her about all of this, then who could she talk to? Jenna was always there for Vanessa, now she's just returning the favor.

  A few hours after Vanessa left, she called Jenna on the phone. "Hey, how about you and I have a girl's night out tonight? We'll go out, have a nice dinner, then hit the clubs, just you and me. Sort of an apology for the way I acted today?"

  "Ness, you don't have to apologize. I know that I'm putting you in the middle, and you must be sick to death of hearing about my problems. I don't blame you one bit. I'm sick of hearing about it too!" Jenna told her, feeling guilty.

  "So, can I consider that a yes?" Vanessa asked.

  "Yeah, as long as I can find a babysitter. I'm sure that won't be a problem though." Jenna replied, going over the list of babysitters in her head.

  "Great! Meet me at Le Jardin at 7:00, I'll have a table for two. Just give them your name. Oh, and dress to kill!" Vanessa said and quickly hung up.

  Jenna looked at the phone in her hand when she heard the dial tone and chuckled to herself at Vanessa's behavior. She was always the impulsive one, and always a source of great fun when you needed it most!

  Jenna managed to get ahold of a babysitter, thankfu
lly when she had such short notice. After that was done, Jenna ran upstairs to get ready for the night out. When she passed by Colby's room, she stuck her head in to let him know that she was going out and that he would have a baby sitter for the night. When she told him of the plans, Colby let out a groan, and asked if Emma could spend the night to make having a babysitter more fun. Jenna said that she would call Nicholas and ask if it would be ok.

  Jenna nervously dialed the numbers to the house next door, as her heart beat rapidly. When she heard Nicholas's deep voice answer the phone, she felt as though the wind was knocked out of her.

  "Jenna? Is that you?" He asked into the phone when he was met with silence.

  Jenna pulled herself together and managed a quick, "Yeah, it's me." She took a deep breath and continued. "I'm going out to dinner with Vanessa tonight, and I had to get a baby sitter for Colby. He thinks that it sucks to stay here alone with a babysitter, so he wanted to know if Emma could spend the night?"

  Nicholas was disappointed in the reason for Jenna's call. He was hoping that she was calling to talk to him, but was able to quickly hide his disappointment. "Sure, that works out good anyways because I'm going out with Nathan tonight. Must be they both needed some time apart finally." He joked about Nathan and Vanessa.

  "Ok, good. Colby will be happy. Just send her over whenever she's ready. Have fun tonight." Jenna told him, feeling a little nervous that he was going out tonight. What if he met someone else? What if he decided that Jenna wasn't worth waiting around for?

  "You have fun too, and be careful." He told her.

  "I will. Thanks." She said.

  "Hey Jenna?" He asked quickly before she hung up. "You'll let me know before you forget about us and move on, won't you?"

  Jenna was silent for a minute. She didn't know how to handle him being so candid and putting his feelings on the line. "Well, I'll tell you that I'm not ready for that yet, but if I ever feel that way, then yes, I'll let you know. Just as long as you do the same."

  Nicholas smiled. "It's a deal. I'll send Emma over soon. Have fun tonight and don't forget…I love you." With that last phrase, he hung up the phone.

  For the second time that day, Jenna stared at the phone when she heard the dial tone. Slowly, a smile spread across her face as hit words hit her and sunk in.

  @-----

  Jenna arrived at the restaurant, promptly at 7:00. She knew there was no point in getting there early, Vanessa always ran late. She was wearing a pair of navy blue satin hip-hugging capris, trimmed in baby blue, along with a matching halter top. Jenna thought she looked pretty good for a night out on the town with her best friend.

  Jenna gave her name to the maître-d, who escorted her to a table for two. She took the first seat, leaving her back to the door, knowing that Vanessa had a phobia of sitting with her back to the door in a restaurant. She hated it when people were walking behind her, always nervous that someone was going to sneak up on her.

  As Jenna sat waiting for Vanessa, she took in the ambiance of the restaurant. She had only been there one other time, but was seated in a different section. The area she was currently sitting in seamed a lot classier. She looked out the window next to her table and was greeted with a myriad of colorful flowers. Her eyes scanned over the garden that displayed the beautiful flowers for as far as the eye could see. Most of the flowers were familiar to her, but there were a few that were rare and she hadn't seen them before.

  Allowing her eyes to leave the garden, Jenna scanned the room that she was in. It was done in all white and gold, and looked very elegant. It was the perfect contrast to the colorful garden that sat just outside the windows. Jenna looked up and noticed the gorgeous chandeliers and marveled at how the lights radiated off of them. 'This would be the perfect place for a date. It's so romantic. Too bad I'll be here with a girl, I'll bet Nicholas would love a place like this. Ooops, stop thinking about Nicholas!' Jenna thought to herself.

  Jenna looked at her watch quickly as the maître-d walked back over to her table. 'She's finally here, it's about time!' Jenna thought, but when she saw who was following behind the employee of the restaurant, her jaw dropped. A look of shock was apparent on the face of the person being led over too.

  "Well, I'm guessing I'm not having a night out with Nathan tonight." He said as he sat down.

  "And it looks like I won't be going out with Vanessa." Jenna told him.

  "I think we've been set up." Nicholas laughed. "Are you ok with this?"

  "Why, do you want to leave?" Jenna asked, nervous of what his answer would be.

  "Are you kidding? This wasn't my idea, but I'm happy they did this." He paused. "Are you ever going to forgive me?"

  "I already have. I was just waiting for you to forgive me." Jenna told him.

  "Forgive you? For what?" Nicholas looked confused.

  "For being such an idiot and blowing things so out of proportion. And then for being so stubborn. Do you need me to continue, because I'm sure we could be here all night listing everything I need to apologize for." Jenna laughed.

  "No, just stop right there. You have no reason to apologize, but if it makes you feel better then I forgive you. Can we just move on from this and get back to the way things were, please?" Nicholas asked, giving her the puppy dog eyes.

  "I'm willing to give it a shot." Jenna said with a smile across her face. She felt like this was the first time she had truly smiled since that morning of the fight. It felt good to be back to herself again.

  "Good, now let's order." Nicholas said, picking up the menu.

  They talked and laughed throughout dinner, feeling like nothing had changed between them since before their fight. They both relaxed and let their feelings for each other cut through the possible tension of the situation. By the end of dinner, they were holding hands and looking lovingly into each other’s eyes.

  As they walked out to the parking lot together, Jenna's cell phone rang. She answered it to hear a hesitant voice on the other end saying, "So, do you hate me now?"

  "No Nessa. Actually, Nicholas and I both want to thank you and Nathan for bringing us back to our senses." Jenna told her.

  "Good, so you guys will meet us for a few drinks then?" Vanessa asked.

  Jenna asked Nicholas if he wanted to meet them, and he told her that it was the least they could do to thank them for arranging the dinner. "Yeah, we'll meet you at the club soon. I think we're going to go drop one of our cars off at home, but we'll be right over."

  Jenna hung up the phone, and put it in her purse. When she looked back up, her eyes met with Nicholas's. He grabbed her hand and pulled her close to him. "You look beautiful tonight. Have I told you that yet?" He asked. Before Jenna could answer, Nicholas blanketed her lips in a kiss. What was meant to be a soft kiss turned into a deep, passion-filled kiss that sent shockwaves throughout both bodies. "God, I've missed you." Nicholas groaned after they broke the kiss.

  "I've missed you too. So much!" Jenna told him as she looked into his eyes, her hand cupped on the side of his face, with her thumb stroking his cheek bone.

  "You know, the sooner we get to the club, the sooner we can get out of there and be alone." Nicholas pointed out.

  "Good idea. Follow me home so I can drop my car off. No point in both of us driving." Jenna said and disappeared into her vehicle. She tore out of the parking lot, driving to her house faster than ever. Nicholas followed behind, having no trouble keeping up with her.

  When she finally got into Nicholas's SUV, he chuckled and asked "In a hurry for something?"

  Jenna smiled and leaned from the passenger seat to the driver's side and captured Nicholas's lips with her own. Their tongues met and danced their own rhythm, while their hands roamed about. As the windows started to fog up, Jenna backed away from Nicholas. "No hurry." She teased.

  Nicholas shifted in his seat, trying to get as comfortable as possible with the present bulge in his pants. "No time for a cold shower though, right?"

  Jenna laughed. "Well, if you take
one now, you're just taking time away from us later."

  "I can deal without the shower." He said quickly, pulling out of the driveway and heading to the club. "You just need to keep your temptress hands and lips to yourself until later."

  "I'll try, but I can't promise anything." Jenna said as she grinned with pleasure. "But, oh the things I want to do to you right now!"

  "You're going to kill me by the end of the night, you know that right?" Nicholas asked.

  "I do think I've heard something along those lines before." She laughed. "We'll just make a quick appearance, thank Vanessa and Nathan, then head home."

  "And what will we do once we get home?" Nicholas asked.

  "I thought you were having a hard enough time in your pants as it is, and you want me to tell you what I'm going to do to you once we get home?" Jenna asked.

  "I mean, whose house are we going to, are we going to do what I think and hope we're going to do, and are we going to have a sleepover?" He laughed.

  "Well, the kids are at my house, so why don't we go to your house, do whatever comes up, then we can head to my house, relieve the babysitter and have another sleepover. Sound good?" Jenna suggested.

  "Sounds very good!" Nicholas said as he parked the Xterra in the parking lot of the club. He got out of the vehicle and told Jenna to stay put. He walked to the passenger side and opened her door for her, helping her down and out of the SUV. As he helped her down, he pulled her close to his body and enveloped her in a tight hug. "I'm never letting you go, I hope you know that."

  "Good because I don't want you to." Jenna told him. After giving him a soft kiss, she said, "I can't wait to get you alone, all to myself, to do as we please."

  "Hmm, sounds good to me. Let's get this over with so we can make that happen!" He said into her ear, his voice husky.

  The two walked into the club, with their hands laced together. As they made their way to the bar, Jenna felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned to find Vanessa standing next to a table. Nicholas and Jenna stopped when they saw her.