Fools in Love (Foolish at Heart Book 3)

by R. C. Martin

  “It was a favor, until it wasn’t—until it turned into an opportunity.”

  I shifted in my seat, pushing away my dinner as I interrupted, “Eddalyn’s Interiors is your business. I don’t—I don’t understand why you would leave.”

  “Baby, slow down. Hear me out.”

  I shook my head in confusion, then took a breath and offered him a nod.

  “Speer and Pearson was, essentially, a favor. Curtis has been trying to convince me for the last six months that he thought I’d do well out there, but I brushed it off—until this week. He’s got a wide and diversified network of business owners—some of whom I met over the last couple of days—that are in the market for a designer; and if I threw my hat in the ring, I’d be competitive.”

  “I still don’t—Jude, I don’t understand. Of course you’d be competitive. You’re brilliant. You know that. But—”

  “It got me thinking,” he interjected.

  I could see the excitement in his eyes almost as much as I could hear it in his voice. It was sexy, in the way my husband was so sexy when he talked about the work he was passionate about; but it was equally as unnerving, because what he was proposing scared me in ways I couldn’t think fast enough to explain.

  “When I realized what was possible, I played out the idea. I wouldn’t leave Eddalyn’s Interiors. I own forty-nine percent of the company, which makes it mine almost as much as it is hers. But expansion—that was something I hadn’t considered. Once I did, it seemed complacent that I never have.

  “As soon as I got into the office today, I sat down with Aunt Eddalyn. What I proposed felt overly ambitious and borderline crazy, until I told her and her response was that she had the idea first. Expansion was something she planned for years ago. She groomed me not just to be a managing partner, but to take the business beyond the boundaries of Colorado. She didn’t get around to telling me because I met you. I chose you, and she didn’t want to get in the way of that.”

  “But—I’m—I’m still here,” I stammered weakly.

  “I know. It’s why we’re having this conversation. Teddy, California would be the next stop, but what I proposed to Aunt Eddalyn was an expansion that would take our brand all the way up the coast, and every major city between the Pacific and here.”

  When he stopped speaking, I knew it was my turn to say something. Only, a knot had formed in my throat, and I couldn’t find my voice. My chest felt heavy, my lungs laden with apprehension, fear, and something akin to sadness. It wasn’t that I doubted him. On the contrary, as gigantic of an undertaking his idea was, I didn’t doubt he could do it. As I’d said, he was brilliant; but he was also an extraordinarily hard worker and incredibly determined. If he chased after this dream, it would come true because he wouldn’t accept failure. I knew this. Yet, the ways in which his dream would change our lives—it terrified me.

  “Sweetheart, say something,” he murmured, reaching under the table to rest a hand on my thigh.

  I worked to swallow the knot in my throat. As I forced it down, my eyes welled up with tears. “Our family is here. Our godson was just born. The gallery—my photography—there are so many things that are just getting started. And this house—you love this house.”

  “Theodora.” He called my name gently then lifted his opposite hand until it was cupped around my cheek. I felt the tears on my face only after he swiped his thumb across my skin to wipe them away. “Our lives don’t have to stop just because we move. We’d come visit, and our family would visit us. And your photography? Teddy, think of how your art could thrive there. Fort Collins is where you’ll get your start, but the art scene out there is far greater.”

  “What if—what if I’m not good enough to make it out there?”

  “Baby, you are. You’re more talented than you give yourself credit for. I’ve been trying to tell you that for years. I’m not saying you won’t have to fight for it, we both will—but it’s not worth having if you don’t have to fight for it.”

  I hiccupped on a sob, my dinner long forgotten. Lifting both my hands, I took hold of Judah’s wrist and kept his hand on my face as I closed my eyes.

  “Judah, what if I just don’t want to go? What if I say no?”

  He didn’t answer me right away. His silence scared me even more, and I opened my eyes in search of his. Finally, he replied, “Almost lost you once. I wouldn’t choose that again.” I sighed in relief before he added, “But I want this. I can do this. For us. And I know this is no small ask, but I need you to think about it. Sit on it for a few weeks. Okay?”

  Remembering the excitement that shown in his eyes not even five minutes prior, I knew I couldn’t deny him his request. He wanted this. Even more, Edda did, too. He might have been her partner in business, but I was his partner in life—which meant I owed it to both of them to really think about it, no matter how much I disliked the idea.

  “Okay,” I whispered in reply.

  “Good.” He kissed me then. It was a hard and short exchange. When he pulled away from me, he muttered, “Eat, sweetheart. I have every intention of fucking my woman the rest of the night.”

  When I picked up my fork, it wasn’t because I was hungry. After our conversation, I barely tasted my food. But the promise of Judah inside of me—I wanted that. I needed it. More than anything, I longed for the reminder that no matter what—we were one.

  Chapter Seven

  Hers

  When Judah’s alarm clock sounded the next morning, it pulled me from the light sleep I’d managed to find after the hours of sex Judah promised. I had hoped our love making would grant me some peace; but as the new day began to dawn, and I listened to him go about his usual morning routine, all I felt was exhausted, distracted, and scared.

  After his workout, when he returned to the room to take a shower, I forced myself out of bed. I headed for the bathroom, where I brushed my teeth and tossed my messy locks into a top bun. Not entirely ready to utter words, I hurried out of the bathroom and to the closet to throw on some clothes. I skipped underwear, but threw on some leggings and an oversized t-shirt before I ascended to the kitchen. I made the quickest cup of coffee I could manage, forgot the creamer, and descended into the basement. I wanted the solitude and the quiet I knew I’d find in my darkroom.

  While I sipped at my coffee, I spent some time looking at the negatives I’d developed from my photoshoot with the Delanys. I looked through them all slowly, meticulously, carefully selecting the images I wanted to print. The lighting in the nursery had been perfect on Theo’s first day at home, and I couldn’t wait to see how it translated in the black and white prints I intended to make.

  I’d drained my mug of caffeine and was just starting to set up my trays when there was a knock at the door. Judah waited for the all clear before he let himself in. When I turned to look at him, I was reminded that I was married to the most gorgeous man I’d ever seen in my entire life. I still felt that way. Dressed in a dark suit, with his hair slicked back and his jaw covered in the perfect amount of scruff, he was a sight to behold. I wished that was enough to clear my head and quiet my heart.

  “You okay?” he asked, catching me off guard.

  “Fine. Why?”

  He frowned, as if he thought it obvious. “It’s early.”

  “Oh.” It’s all I said as I reached up to tuck a non-existent strand of hair behind my ear. I didn’t know what else to say.

  He stared at me for a moment before he maneuvered his way through the room and around my supplies. When he was within reaching distance, he bent to press a kiss against my lips. Pulling away just slightly, I tasted his words as he murmured, “I love you.”

  We had a cadence, Judah and I. I knew that he loved me, but I was usually the one to say it first. It had been that way since the beginning, and it didn’t bother me—except the one time he refused to say it and my world fell apart. He’d put it back together again the day he proposed. Every day since then, I never questioned how he felt or what I meant to him—but it w
as rare for him to tell me he loved me without prompting. When he did, it didn’t simply mean that he loved me, but that he also saw me.

  I pressed up onto my tiptoes, sealing my lips with his as I draped an arm around his shoulders. This time, when I pulled away slightly, I touched my forehead to his and pleaded, “Tell me we’ll be okay, no matter what.”

  “Not going anywhere without you, sweetheart. No matter what.”

  With a nod, I stole one more kiss and then whispered, “I love you, too.”

  “I’ve got to go.”

  “Okay,” I replied, taking a step away from him.

  “Let’s go out tonight,” he suggested as he began to back his way out of the room.

  “Okay.”

  He winked at me, and then he was gone.

  I stared at the closed door for a minute, tracing my fingertips across my lips all the while. Then I turned back to my task. In spite of his reassuring words, I still felt the unease of uncertainty. Over the next few hours, as I lost myself in the images of our nephew, I couldn’t shake the sadness I felt at the thought of putting a thousand miles between us and him. It was one thing to leave our parents or our siblings. We’d gotten so much time with them—but Theo changed every day. When I imagined a reality where we saw him only once or twice a year, it felt unfair.

  Yet, as I filled the room with drying portraits of my sister and her family, I couldn’t help but ask myself—how unfair is it to tell Judah no? To crush his ambitions? The truth was, we were never going to have children. Harper and Ben had contributed to the world by bringing new life into it. Judah wanted to leave his mark by taking what Eddalyn had started and making it more. By saying no to that, I feared I’d be denying Judah’s opportunity to make his contribution the best way he knew how.

  I didn’t want him to resent me for my decision. Except, it was my life, too. What Judah and I built together was everything I wanted. I lived in a home I loved. I had the independence I needed, with just enough distance between my parents, his parents, and our siblings. I worked for a couple of my favorite guys in the world, and I finally felt brave enough to put my art on display for anyone who cared to look at it. To shake that up, to move to a place where I knew no one and watch Judah get lost in his work, I didn’t understand how I would benefit from that.

  I freed a sigh as I stopped to look around the dimly lit room. It felt selfish to admit it, but I wanted the life we had. I didn’t need more.

  Chapter Eight

  His

  I meant what I’d said.

  I wasn’t going anywhere without her. No matter what.

  Yet, even still, as the days went by, what I wanted seemed to tinge the air around us with the essence of a black cloud. I’d asked Teddy to think about a life that could be more; an opportunity that could be prosperous for us both; an adventure worth taking—but she seemed to view it only through the lens of dread or of loss. She hadn’t yet said the words, but I felt it in the desperation of her kiss; in the frantic way she fucked me; in the way she walked around the house as if it meant more to her than it could possibly mean to me.

  Most of all, I saw it in her eyes—I saw it in her eyes the way I saw everything in her eyes. It wasn’t hard to notice when the light that usually illuminated her bright, brown irises grew dim. And yet, we weren’t talking about it.

  I couldn’t blame her for my mounting frustration. Not entirely. While I felt as though she refused to look at the idea from the perspective of what could be gained rather than what might be lost, I wasn’t broaching the topic, either. The truth of the matter was, I’d spent a considerable amount of time going over Aunt Eddalyn’s expansion plan. It was thorough. Aside from a few tweaks, it was ready to be put into action. The more I looked into it, the more I wanted it. I didn’t want to hear my wife tell me no. I didn’t want to be that man who let his wife dictate the direction of his career.

  Nonetheless, I wasn’t going anywhere without her. No matter what.

  She’d told me once that her love for me wasn’t a choice. I didn’t believe or understand what she meant until I turned into the version of myself that manifested during the week I’d spent believing we were over. I knew what it felt like to stubbornly choose a life without her, yet all the while loving her anyway—because she was right. My love for her was not a choice. My commitment to her was. Furthermore, my desire to see her happy was still just as important as it had always been. Perhaps even more.

  Even still, I was not a man who wished to remain stagnant. Complacency was weak. My eyes had been opened to how comfortable I’d gotten in my position. I thought Eddalyn was preparing me for her early retirement—but I couldn’t have been more wrong. To be forced to choose between my career advancement and Teddy’s happiness put me in a foul mood. Nearly a week after I’d given voice to my idea, I was frustrated to the point of distraction.

  Approaching Aunt Eddalyn’s office, I rapped my knuckles against the vacant doorframe and waited for her to look at me. When she did, she waved me in wordlessly and finished whatever had her preoccupied before she gave me her full attention. I closed the door behind me and settled into one of the chairs in front of her desk. I then propped myself on my elbows against my knees.

  “What’s bothering you?” she asked as she met my gaze.

  “If I went, I’d take Logan with me.”

  She smiled wisely and offered me a slight nod. “I presumed she would be your choice. She is your protégé, after all. Of course, she’s expecting her second child anytime now, and she’s got a husband to consider.”

  “By the time I was ready to open the office, her maternity leave would be over. Anyway, if push came to shove, I’d consider someone from our Denver office. Idris, maybe. He’s done well since we brought him on.”

  “You could have them both, if they were interested. You’d need a good crew to help get yourself off the ground, and I’d have time to find their replacements here. But you said if. What does Teddy think?”

  I shook my head and shifted my gaze down at my hands. “I gave her a choice, and she’s still mulling it over. She told me no at first, and I don’t think she’s changed her mind. If she won’t—fuck,” I muttered. We were both silent a moment before I finally looked at her again and said, “We need a plan B.”

  This time, when she smiled at me, I saw the sympathy that softened the curl of her lips. “Judah, I don’t think you need an alternate plan. Maybe California will come to pass, maybe it won’t—but it’s clear to me you’ve made your choice.”

  Frowning, I replied, “Yeah. I have. It’s California. But—”

  “It’s not California,” she interjected on a chuckle. “It’s Teddy, my dear. Teddy is your choice—which means you’ll either convince her to trust you and allow you to start again, together, someplace new; or, you’ll convince yourself that this idea you’re attached to simply needs an edit.”

  She drew in a deep breath and blew out a sigh. “I made up my mind, two years ago. I’m proud of what I’ve built—of the brand we’ve built and maintained together. Your life, as well as mine, has granted me the peace to enjoy what I have and to be proud of my business. The plans you now possess, I don’t regret stowing them in a drawer. Now, it’s your turn to find this same peace. Maybe it’s in those plans. Or maybe you’ll have to find another way. My advice? Let Teddy inspire you as you have inspired me.”

  “You say that like throwing away what could be my greatest contribution to your name—to our brand—is nothing.”

  “I didn’t say it would be easy, nephew. However, in the end, you’ll find it much more fulfilling, I’m sure. Watching you become the man you are today, seeing Benjamin become a father—I don’t regret staying put to watch it all unfold. It’s time for you to decide what decisions you can live with without regret.”

  I grunted in response, feeling no better than I did when I first sat down.

  “Don’t be so impatient. Let the idea settle; with you and with Teddy. It’s as I said before: there’s no rush. W
e’re in a good spot. Anyway, Teddy’s gala is in a few weeks. No doubt she’s got plenty on her mind.”

  “Yeah.”

  My brow dipped into a scowl at the thought. I didn’t need the reminder, and yet the reminder seemed to placate me for the moment. All week, she’d been stressed about narrowing down her selection for the exhibition. Her deadline was in only a couple of days. Suddenly, I felt selfish for being frustrated. I knew how big of a deal this show was. I’d been encouraging the idea for more than two years.

  “Back to work, Judah. Focus on right now. Let tomorrow worry about itself.”

  “Yeah,” I repeated as I stood. Determined to shift my attention on the responsibilities of the present, I left her office and headed to mine.

  Chapter Nine

  Hers

  I hadn’t told Geoffrey about the choice Judah tossed into my lap a week prior. I hadn’t told anyone. I wasn’t ready to talk about it. Not really. Even after I spent all afternoon with my friend, after our long lunch and pedicures, after every lull in the conversation that was an invitation he didn’t know he’d extended—I said nothing. I didn’t want him to entertain the idea of life without me. On his birthday, of all days, I didn’t want to imagine it, either. I wanted to enjoy my friend. I wanted to spoil my Viking. He was on the precipice of a new decade, and I hoped for nothing but the best for him.

  So, I put it out of my mind. When I went home to change for dinner, I picked out a dress I was sure would make me feel pretty and flirty. This is how I ended up in my black, off-the-shoulder, full skirt, mini dress, and my leopard print heels. I left my hair down, freshened up my makeup, and was all but ready to leave by the time Judah made it home from work.

  He was late, but I didn’t mention it. I simply reminded him of our scheduled dinner reservation and suggested he lose the tie but keep the suit. We were out the door ten minutes later with no argument, for which I was grateful. When we arrived at the Japanese restaurant in Old Town, my chest filled with giddy excitement at what I spotted upon our entrance. Geoffrey, Andrew, and Carrie had already been seated—but it was Louis, who pulled out the chair next to the guest of honor, that captivated my attention.