The Memory of You

by Catherine West

  “You have quite a way with words.” Jeffrey clamped his mouth shut. He hadn’t meant to say that out loud.

  Tanner rewarded him with a cold stare identical to his mother’s. “Why is this any of your business?”

  “It’s absolutely not.” Jeffrey couldn’t stop a grin. This was the most entertainment he’d had in months. “Natalie, I’m going upstairs to grab a clean shirt. Ten minutes?”

  “Thanks, Uncle Jeff.”

  He left her to deal with the surly Tanner Collins, certain she could manage perfectly well on her own. And if she needed him, she could yell.

  “Natalie?” Tanner stood stiff, blindsided. “You asked him to drive you?”

  “Yes.” She poured the remainder of the coffee into the sink and set the pot in the dishwasher. “After Monday, I didn’t know whether you’d remember. I know you’re busy, so . . .”

  “Well, I’m here. I cleared my schedule. We’re good.” Except they were so clearly not.

  “I don’t want to be a bother. I’d rather my uncle take me.” She stood at the sink, her back to him.

  “Look, I’m sorry you didn’t get my message on Monday. The crusher broke down. I spent all morning fixing it, had to drive to Napa for parts. And Mom and I were up all Monday night with Jeni. She has strep throat. She’s still in bed, actually.”

  “Jeni’s sick?” Worry crept into her eyes. “Who’s with her now? Your mom’s here.”

  He nodded. “I know.” He’d seen her polishing the dining room table on the way in.

  “A sitter. For the day. Well, until Mom finishes up here.”

  “I see.” She rounded the table the other way. “Well, you can go home and send the sitter on her way. I’m sure Jeni will be much happier if you’re with her.”

  Tanner read the truth on her face, narrowed his eyes, and blocked her path as she headed for the door. “Is this about Saturday night?”

  Satisfied their childhood curiosities, his rear.

  He still couldn’t believe she’d said that. And he knew she didn’t mean it. Not if the way she’d responded to his kisses was any indication.

  Her eyes faltered but her mouth formed a thin line of denial. “No, I . . .” She let go a sigh. “I’m sorry I thought you bailed on Monday. But maybe it was for the best. I’m not sure we . . .” She looked down at the floor. “Look, my uncle is taking me to my appointment. Let’s just drop it. Tomorrow, I plan to concentrate on the winery again. I think I’ve come up with a business model that might work. We can talk then, and if you think it sounds viable, we’ll approach my grandfather with it.”

  “O-kay.” It was definitely about Saturday night. And she was blowing him off big-time. Confusion crashed through the hopes he’d had for today, carrying his good mood off at a clip. Had he been so off base about her?

  “I’ll be in touch later.” She refused to make eye contact.

  Tanner headed for the door. “Right. Have a good day.” No point in standing there staring at her. He left the room, ignoring his mother who called out hello as he marched down the hall, yanked open the front door, and slammed it behind him.

  Twenty-One

  UNCLE JEFF WAITED FOR HER IN THE LOBBY WITH A STRAWBERRY shake and a jelly donut.

  “You remembered.” Natalie smiled as they exited the building and headed toward the parking lot.

  “Your mother hated it when I showed up and took you girls out. Said I was ruining your healthy eating habits.”

  “She was probably right about that.” Natalie reveled in the sticky treat and the sweet goo that oozed into her mouth. She hadn’t had a jelly donut in years.

  Her uncle didn’t visit often, but when he had, they’d always done something exciting. He’d take them places they would rarely go. Like the Bronx Zoo or the Hard Rock Café. Sometimes they’d take a carriage ride around Central Park. One day he took them to a racetrack and the horse they’d bet on won. Sometimes they’d just ride the Staten Island ferry. They’d people watch and make up wickedly funny stories, then laugh until their sides hurt. And they always took the subway.

  Natalie eased into the passenger seat and caught her breath. “I think I just put on five pounds. Thanks.” She licked white powder residue off her fingers anyway.

  Uncle Jeff handed her a napkin. “Well, if you did, you could stand it.” He snapped his seat belt in place with a smile. “How was it?”

  “The donut or the appointment?” Natalie sipped her shake and fiddled with the radio while he slid his ticket into the gate at the front of the lot.

  “Both.”

  “The donut was divine. The appointment . . .” Natalie pushed her plastic cup into the holder beside her seat. She listened to the radio and processed the past hour. “Good.”

  “Yeah?” He sounded a little skeptical.

  Natalie turned toward him. “My doctor asked me something today I’d never been able to answer until now.”

  “What’s that?” He maneuvered in and out of traffic, perfectly at ease behind the wheel of the Jag. She could easily imagine him zipping down the Autobahn in a red Ferrari.

  She slid her thumbnail underneath her fingernails and thought about it. Saying it out loud would make it real. Make it so she hadn’t imagined it. Make it so she meant it.

  “He asked me if I wished I had died that night instead of Nicole.”

  Her uncle’s short intake of breath was barely audible, but she’d caught it. He pushed up his shades with a sniff. “That’s heavy. And?”

  They stalled at a red light. Traffic was piling up. Horns blared. The sidewalks were jammed with people hurrying to and fro, jostling to get out of each other’s way. She could just see the sky beyond the tall city buildings. A slight claustrophobic feeling began to simmer. How on earth would she ever assimilate to being back in New York?

  For the first time, it dawned on her that she might not want to return.

  “Natalie?”

  She smiled at the concern in his voice. “No. The answer is no.” The thought practically made her giddy. “For a long time I wouldn’t have said that. I wish my sister hadn’t died. More than anything. But I’m glad I didn’t. I’m glad, for whatever reason, that I got a second chance.”

  Uncle Jeff pressed the gas again and reached across to give her hand a brief squeeze. “Me too, kid.”

  When they reached the Golden Gate Bridge he broke the silence again. “So, what’s the deal with you and the angry dude?”

  Natalie laughed, turning down the music a tad. “Tanner?”

  “Right. Tanner.”

  “Yeah. Um . . . I don’t know. He’s been mad at me since I got here.” Well, that was sort of true.

  “What’d you do to him?”

  “Nothing. Except . . .” She shifted in her seat and moved the vent in front of her, letting cool air hit her cheeks. The memory of the disappointment in Tanner’s eyes that morning made her miserable. “My father wants to shut down Maoilios. Tanner thinks I’m going to do it.”

  Jeff gave a low whistle. “That explains it.”

  “He’s got other things going on too.” Not that she knew the extent of them. She was doing him a favor, really. He clearly didn’t need more complications in his life.

  “No, I meant . . .” He niggled his bottom lip and shook his head. “I called your father before coming out here. He wanted me to sell my Maoilios shares to him.”

  “Oh no.” Natalie sighed and knuckled her forehead. She hadn’t thought far enough ahead for this scenario. “He’s serious.”

  “Apparently. Why?”

  “The winery hasn’t been doing so well the past few years. Well, since Grandma died, I guess. Grandpa brought Tanner on board as vintner a few years ago, and the numbers are slowly starting to pick up, but not fast enough for my father.”

  “Bill doesn’t have much use for things that don’t meet his expectations.”

  “Or people.” Natalie said the words quietly.

  She’d lived with the knowledge for years, just tried to sidestep it an
d convince herself that if she tried hard enough, the truth could be altered. “You didn’t say you would, did you, Uncle Jeff? Sell him your shares?”

  “No way.” Laughter shook his muscular shoulders. “I wouldn’t sell your father the morning paper after I was done with it. He seems to think yours are in the bag though.”

  Natalie’s throat tightened. Tears pricked and Tanner’s words came back to her.

  Where’d you go, Mouse?

  “How bad are things?” Uncle Jeff asked. “Surely not dire enough to shut the gates?”

  “I don’t think so.” Natalie toyed with the charm around her neck. “I believe things can improve. Tanner has some great ideas, and with a solid business plan, I think we’ll see a dramatic change over the next quarter. Maoilios used to be one of the greats, back in the day. We need to put her back on the map.”

  “We?” He took the exit toward Sonoma, gave a slow nod. “You sound like you’re pretty invested in the place, Natalie Grace.”

  Was she? Invested enough to go up against her father?

  “I do own 50 percent,” she mumbled. He overtook a truck and Natalie closed her eyes. They’d be off the highway soon enough. She could get through this. She trusted Uncle Jeff.

  “Yes, you do,” he said. “So your old man figures you’ll cave, sell your shares to him, and he’ll march in and shut down the whole place without batting an eye.”

  “Something like that, I suppose.” Slow heat hit her cheeks. “But that’s not going to happen. I want to convince him he’s wrong.” There. She’d said it. “Grandpa shouldn’t be forced out of the business he built from the ground up simply because my father can’t be bothered with it anymore. That’s not fair to anyone.”

  “No, it’s not. Putting people out of work is never a good thing.” A smile caused the dimple in his cheek to jump. “Especially not tall and handsome vintners.”

  Natalie rolled her eyes. “This isn’t about Tanner.” Did that sound convincing? “I want Maoilios to succeed. Purely from a professional standpoint. Because I see the potential. Besides that, it’s family.”

  “And you see this as a challenge.”

  He’d read her so easily. “I haven’t felt this energized about anything in years.”

  Uncle Jeff pulled at his earlobe. “Any idea how many employees they’ve got on the payroll right now?”

  “Not offhand, but it’s a significant number. Of course they bring in extra workers over harvest. Tanner would have all that information.”

  He drummed his fingers to the beat of the music. “Are you really willing to go up against Bill on this?”

  Talk about heavy questions.

  “I’m willing to do the right thing. I don’t believe shutting down the winery is it.”

  “There will be fallout.”

  “With my father there always is.” She clenched her hands in her lap.

  Was she really willing to go through with this?

  Was she strong enough to suffer Bill Mitchell’s wrath?

  Well. She’d been doing that most of her life.

  “Listen, kid . . .” Uncle Jeff interrupted her thoughts. “I don’t know how long I’ll be here, but you can count on me. I’ll do what I can to help. Okay?”

  “Thanks, Uncle Jeff.” Natalie wanted to smile, but the realization of what she was planning hit her full force. “You want to talk to my father for me?”

  His quiet laughter did make her smile. “If you really want me to.”

  “No.” She exhaled and felt a little lighter. “I think, as strange as it sounds, that’s why I’m here. To learn how to stand on my own, find out who I really am. At least that’s what Tanner says.”

  “Sounds like Tanner and I might need to have a chat. If he’s not too busy doling out advice to pretty ladies.”

  Great, now he wanted to play matchmaker. “Don’t read anything into that, Uncle Jeff.”

  “Who me?” He chuckled. “There was a time when I would have been in his position, you know. Running Maoilios.”

  “No, I didn’t know.” She studied his handsome face. He had to be fifty-something but he looked younger. His thick, dark hair sported barely a hint of gray outside of the dusting around his hairline. He could give every actor who ever played 007 a run for his money. And he was the real deal. “Being James Bond held more appeal?”

  Uncle Jeffrey’s laugh sounded so much like Grandpa’s. “We all make choices. I didn’t think a life in Sonoma would make me happy.”

  “Or maybe you were afraid it would.”

  His smile broadened as she turned the tables on him. “Astute, aren’t you?”

  “Well, the tension between you and Sarah Collins isn’t hard to miss. Story?”

  “Long.”

  “We still have twenty minutes to home.”

  Her uncle ground out a sigh, kept his eyes on the road. “You really want to know?”

  “Yes. If you want to tell me.”

  “Sarah and I met in high school. Dated through college. And then . . .” A cough stayed his words and she wondered if he’d continue. “I ended the relationship. On our wedding day.”

  “Oh.” Shock skittered through her. She hadn’t seen that coming. Natalie searched for the right words. Wondered if there were any. “Did you just leave or give her an explanation?”

  “We talked. Or rather, I tried to talk, she yelled. And if the last few days are any clue, apparently she still hasn’t forgiven me.”

  Natalie grinned. “But she got over you. I mean, at least she found someone else. Had a family.”

  “I hoped she’d find someone who could make her happy.”

  “I think she’s been on her own awhile though.” Natalie wasn’t sure of the whole story and didn’t want to delve further into topics that might lead back to Tanner. “You never married.”

  “Nope.”

  “I suppose your job isn’t exactly conducive to a long-term relationship or a family.”

  “That would be correct.”

  “And I guess you leaving Maoilios didn’t go over too well with Grandpa?”

  “You could say that.” His sigh was sad. “If you’re looking for an explanation, I don’t really have one. The only thing I can say is that, at the time, I believed getting married was a mistake, and I knew I had to get out before it was too late and I didn’t have the guts to do it before that day.”

  Natalie pinched her lips and stared out the window. Of course he couldn’t know how close to home he’d hit.

  “Natalie?”

  “Sorry.” She debated not telling him. But there wasn’t any reason to keep it a secret. “At the beginning of June, I found out my fiancé was cheating on me. So I guess I can empathize with Sarah.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that.” He did sound sorry. “I wasn’t cheating on Sarah.”

  “Maybe not. But you still broke her heart.”

  He pulled at his jaw, stared straight ahead. “It was a long time ago, kid. Please don’t hold it against me. You’re the only friend I’ve got here at the moment, and I sure don’t need any more enemies.”

  “I won’t hold it against you.” Natalie decided to process their conversation later. She sent him a smile and felt better. “I need all the friends I can get too.” The heaviness around her heart lifted the closer they got to Sonoma. Yes, she was invested all right. More than she’d ever thought possible.

  Twenty-Two

  THE DAY AFTER HER APPOINTMENT IN THE CITY, NATALIE SPENT all morning on her laptop, creating a viable business plan for Maoilios that even her father couldn’t say no to. By lunch, she was more convinced than ever that they could make this work.

  She sat out on the patio of her grandfather’s home and surveyed the property, grateful that she was feeling more like herself, less anxious. And her appetite was back. Just about to go in and see about food, her cell phone rang. Natalie frowned at the screen but answered anyway.

  “Hi, Dad.”

  “Natalie. I read your e-mail and I’m concerned.” He didn
’t waste time. Natalie tapped her feet and willed her heart rate back down.

  “What are you concerned about? I’m positive that with the plan I’m putting in place, we can succeed. Put Maoilios back on the map. We’ll be back in the black by the end of the year; that should make you happy.” And perhaps a little proud of me.

  “I thought I was clear. I want that place closed.”

  Natalie swallowed, measuring her words. “I thought you’d agree with this plan, that you’d consider alternatives.”

  “I don’t see the point. I appreciate the work, but you’re wasting your time. I want you back in the office. You’ve been gone long enough now. I trust you’re feeling better and ready to get back to work.”

  “Dad . . . I’m not sure I . . .” What could she say? Tell him she couldn’t leave now because she was making progress with her new doctor and felt closer to normal than she had in years?

  “What, Natalie?”

  “I’m going to stay longer. Uncle Jeff just got here and I’d like to spend some time with him. And I’m going to keep working on bringing Maoilios back to life.”

  Her father snorted. “How ironic. A place that only breeds death. It’s a lost cause. Give it up.”

  Natalie could count on one hand the instances she’d gone against her father . . . and wouldn’t have to use all her fingers. But she wanted to fight for this. Even as her stomach tightened at his tone, her resolve strengthened. “I won’t give it up, Dad. I can’t.” For so many reasons. Tears stung and she blinked them away angrily. “And since I am the majority shareholder, it’s my decision.”

  A long silence stretched out. Finally, he sighed. “I have never understood you, Natalie. This is bad business, that’s all there is to it. But since you seem determined to defy me, I don’t suppose there’s much I can do. Are you quitting your job?”

  “What?” Natalie straightened, her throat dry.

  “I assume, since you’ll be working so hard with your grandfather, you won’t be coming back to work for me.”

  Natalie watched the dogs race through the vines as a few workers headed down the hill. “I hadn’t thought about it.”