The Mountain Man's Babies Books 1-5

by Frankie Love

  “It’s the way you are determined to stick up for the underdog that’s gonna be the death of you. Besides,” he adds, “you can’t save them if you’ve lost yourself.”

  I clench my jaw at this, because even if it’s fucking true, what difference does it make? Starting over is easier said than done.

  In the lobby, I shake my head when I see my cousin Jaxon waiting for me, looking around, uncomfortable as fuck. He must be, he screwed around on Sheriff Martin’s daughter; he’s the reason he left town in the first place years ago.

  Yet here he is. Bailing me out.

  He’s the only guy I know with as many tattoos as me, yet the two of us couldn’t be more different. He got himself a wife and a bunch of mouths to feed and I don’t envy him any of that.

  Still, he’s got his shit together.

  I look back at Bailey, knowing he must have called him in.

  Bailey just shrugs, gives me a small smile. “I can’t help but look out for you.” Before I can say anything, he goes back into the office.

  “You came down here, for me?” I ask, hating that Jaxon left his home in the mountains, about ninety minutes from here, to get me out of jail.

  “You’re the closest thing I have to a brother, dumbass.”

  Jaxon’s in his thirties, but I’m twenty-five. Growing up, he was always like an older brother to me.

  I scratch my head, knowing I’ve fucked things up and hating that he’s here, cleaning up after me.

  “We should go to your place,” Jaxon says as we leave the station. “You need to say goodbye to this town and get your shit.”

  I scowl, climbing into his truck. “And where do you think I’m going?” I ask as Jax pulls out of the parking lot.

  “I think you’re coming home with me. I’ll give you work, the mountains are a fine-ass place to clear your head. What the fuck, Hawk? Starting fights?”

  I push back. “I didn’t start shit. I just finished it.”

  Jax gives me a sidelong glance, not having any of it. “You just happened to be in a bar fight, after getting arrested a few months ago for stealing a goddamned car—but you’re clean as a fucking whistle?”

  I shake my head. “You don’t know shit, Jaxon,” I tell him.

  “You wanna explain it to me?”

  I run my hand over my beard, not interested in Jaxon being some tough-ass guy to me as if he’s my fucking father. I never had a father and I sure as hell am not looking for one now.

  “You wouldn’t understand, Jaxon. We’re not the same, never have been.”

  Jaxon doesn’t answer, and part of me resents the way he’s changed as he’s gotten older. Less a friend and more of a judge.

  He turns into the bar parking lot where my truck has been since the bar fight. A sweet-ass ‘47 Ford pickup truck, glossy black with wooden rails. This is my motherfucking baby and I need to get her home.

  Before I get out of his car, Jaxon tells me what he thinks. “I love you man, I do, but a year ago you were charged with breaking and entering. Your rap sheet is getting pretty fucking long. You’re on a path going nowhere, fast.”

  I open the door, pissed that he thinks he has any fucking clue. I got that B&E charge because I was trying to get my friend Jim’s tools after his ex kicked him out of the house. And this bar fight is the same fucking story—Trevor was getting harassed for no good reason.

  Dammit. I slam the door shut, and Jax follows me to my truck.

  “Why do you want me to come to the mountains, anyway?”

  “We need another guy on our crew. I know you love the shop—but we both know you’re not getting the hours you want.”

  “Being under the hood of a car is where I belong, not swinging a goddamned axe.”

  Jaxon shrugs. “There could be worse things than learning a new skill.”

  “I’ve saved up a shit ton of money over the last few years, I can ride it out until the shop starts getting more work. I plan on opening a shop of my own soon as I can.”

  Jaxon shakes his head. “It’s great you’ve saved so much, but you’d be a fool to open a place here. Not in a town that can’t even support one mechanic shop.”

  I grip Jaxon’s shoulder, knowing the truth in that. Refusing to admit it to myself. And sure as hell not wanting to just randomly look on a map and choose a place to relocate. Deep down, I know I want direction, meaning. Some fucking purpose to my life.

  Maybe this is the wake-up call I’ve been waiting for.

  “You’re right,” I tell him, shaking my head. “But dammit, the mountains? What the fuck is there to do out there?”

  “Spend time with your second cousins, chill out. At least out there, you won’t blow through your cash.”

  I shrug, not knowing what I’m fighting so hard against. I’ve been meaning to come out to his place for ages, and after bailing me out tonight, I owe him, big time. “I’ll come help your crew if you really need it,” I tell him. “But if I’m working for you, I’m paying you back for helping with the bail. You understand that?” I look him in the eyes, meaning it. Right now, I’m accepting his offer, but I’m not taking any handouts.

  “Understood,” Jax says.

  “But I need a week or so to finish up a car I’ve been working on for Trevor, but after that, I’ll drive to your place, sound good?”

  Jaxon frowns. “And so you can stand before the judge, right? I don’t wanna lose that bail money.”

  “Right.” I nod, not wanting to let him down. The last five years have been painful. It seems like I haven’t been able to get a leg up since Ma died. It’s always one thing after the next and I’d love to catch a real break.

  “You promise you’ll show? We’re starting a new house next week, but we’re still trying to wrap up the renovations on a little cabin -- that’s where I’d send you. Buck is working on it and could use another set of hands.”

  “I’ll be there.”

  “You’re staying with me, okay?”

  I cock a brow at him, trying to count in my head how many babies he’s got in that place.

  “The motel in town is seedy as shit—besides Harper will be pissed if you refuse our guest room.”

  I shake my head at this fool. “Damn, she’s really got your balls in a vise, doesn’t she?”

  I think he’s gonna push back on that, but instead, he grins like a lovesick puppy.

  “Damn right she does, and I’m a lucky bastard because of it.”

  I laugh at him, knowing that I may learn to see what he sees in that mountain, but I sure as fuck am not going to see eye to eye on with him on having some woman rule my life.

  Chapter Two

  Honor

  Harper pulls me into a tight hug when I arrive.

  “I’m just so glad you made it safely. It’s getting kind of late.”

  “I got turned around on the main road. You really live in the middle of nowhere.”

  I take in my cousin—the unrepentant woman, as our family calls her. She’s in skinny jeans and a loose cream-colored sweater, her toenails are painted lavender, her fingernails too. For a mother of five, she looks incredible. And it’s not just the clothes... Harper looks happy.

  “Well, I’m glad you made it OK. Let me get my shoes on and I’ll help you with the babies.”

  She follows me outside, where I open the van door. I begin unbuckling my children and as Harper takes Titus from my hands, she tells me Jaxon will be home any minute.

  I set Thomas on my hip and take Timothy’s hand.

  Walking back into the gorgeous custom cabin her husband made with his bare hands, she explains where Jaxon is. “His cousin, Ben, had some trouble tonight. He went into town to get him out of jail. Just left ten minutes ago. You probably crossed one another on the road.”

  “Trouble?”

  Harper sighs as we walk inside. “Yep, he’s hoping to convince him to stay here a while and work for us. He’s a little rough around the edges... but then again, so is Jax.”

  Her kids are all at the
dining room table eating supper, and she pulls out extra high chairs for my littles. “Wanna set Titus in the swing while we eat?” she asks, already strapping Timothy in a high chair.

  I appreciate how child-proofed her house is, and I think how the house I just left is set up the same way. Between my sister-wives and I, we had eight children, all under four. Harper’s large family doesn’t intimidate me.

  Placing Titus in the swing, I try to get my bearings. Harper is already pushing me toward the table and setting a bowl of potato soup in front of me.

  “Eat. I bet you’ve been a nervous wreck all day.” She laughs bitterly. “Well, longer than a day, probably. Gosh, I can’t believe you went through with it.”

  “I had to,” I say, sinking into the chair and looking lovingly at my children sitting on either side of me at the massive hand-carved table.

  “Of course, you did, sweetie,” Harper says, handing me a basket of rolls. “I just mean it was so brave of you.”

  I shake my head. “Not gonna be so brave when Luke realizes where I’ve come.”

  “When he finds your letter, he’s going to be angry; livid—of course—but you gave him Jax’s number, and I think that’s going to be enough. He doesn’t have much to stand on.”

  “I’m just worried he’s gonna come after the babies.” I rip a roll into pieces and hand them to Thomas, before dishing a small amount of my soup in a small plastic bowl for Timothy.

  “He won’t, though, and we both know that. He starts fighting you for them and he’ll put his precious community at risk. He won’t risk it.”

  Her words are meant to comfort, but they don’t. They break my heart for my children. They will never know the love of a father. Looking around at Harper’s children, a twinge of jealousy pierces me, knowing they’ll never have the same struggle.

  And that is if we can even manage to piece a life together for ourselves.

  Right now, with my meager funds, I know we’re going to need hand-outs for a long while.

  I brush aside the tears and force myself to pick up my spoon. “I just have a lot to figure out.”

  Seeming to understand, Harper drops the topic and we focus on the kids—goodness knows there are plenty. We feed them, change them, put them in jammies, set up Pack 'n Plays for mine, and spend the next several hours settling them all in for the night. She has the kids and me in a spare bedroom downstairs, away from her family’s rooms.

  “You sure it’s enough? I thought you’d have it to yourself, but then with Ben coming in, I figured we’d give him the only extra bed.” Harper furrows her brow. “But he could always sleep on the couch.”

  “No,” I tell her, looking at my babies all settled in for the night. “This is better. I want them close to me. Besides, I’m guessing this house gets moving at the crack of dawn, I’m sure Jax’s cousin would prefer a bedroom with a door when the toddlers start banging around.”

  With the kids all down, we head back to the kitchen and I try to be useful by loading the dishwasher.”

  “Don’t worry about that,” Harper says. “I’m exhausted. Aren’t you?” She sighs, grabbing a bottle of red wine from her kitchen island.

  Harper smiles, pouring herself wine and offering some to me.

  I raise my hand, motioning no.

  “Oh, sorry. I forgot.” Harper frowns. “It feels like ages since I left the family.”

  “Well, a lot changed,” I say, adding soap to the dishwasher and starting the load. The last four years have been so confusing, starting with when Luke returned from Lord’s Will Bible College ready to convert us to his belief system. My parents were on board, and so were Harper’s. As an eighteen-year-old with no education, no money, and no way of leaving, I found myself promised to Luke, along with two other women who joined his church.

  Polygamy was just one of his new convictions. We couldn’t cut our hair, drink, swear, or question anything—or anyone. Especially him.

  “I knew Luke was a dick before, but I never thought he would start a cult. And really, the polygamy shouldn’t have surprised me as much as it did, he was always a cheat,” Harper says, swirling her glass of red. “It’s so sad, though, I haven’t heard from James since he was forced out.”

  She leads us to the massive sectional in the great room. We sit down, her in her comfortable clothing, me in my long skirt and blouse—a clean one—and I try to feel at home. The truth is, my heart is still pounding from the exhilaration of the day. I feel so lost, so alone. What I want more than anything is someone to wrap their arms around me and tell me it’s going to be okay. That I’m going to make it. I want to sink into the comfort of another person who has more figured out than I do.

  Instead of voicing any of that, though, I say, “Luke kicking your brother, James, out was the tipping point for me. I’d look at my boys and wonder what would happen to them when they grow old enough to become competition. I wanted more for them.”

  We grew up religious... but Luke’s cult isn’t about believing in something bigger than yourself, about finding grace and unconditional love—no. Luke’s cult has become something dangerous and has turned what was once a beautiful message of acceptance into something ruinous.

  “Do you want me to call you Jenna?” Harper asks. “I wondered if Honor only holds bad memories?”

  I bite my bottom lip, having already considered this. “No, Jenna is the name with bad memories. I can’t go back to being her. Jenna was weak, and I don’t want to be that girl anymore.”

  “But you were so young when Luke took you, it wasn’t weak.”

  “Maybe that’s true, but I like being Honor. It gives me something to strive toward. I want to be honorable, to be noble for my sons. I don’t know how Kind and True feel about their names, but I know how I feel about mine.”

  Harper watches me closely, as if she has a lot more she wants to say.

  “Just come out with it,” I tell her. “Honestly, what are you thinking?”

  Harper shrugs. “I’m thinking it’s crazy to keep a name that Luke gave you.”

  Maybe Harper will never understand what the last few years have been like. On the outside I’m sure she thinks all of it was bad -- but that wasn’t the case.

  “If I hadn’t gone through the last few years I wouldn’t have my boys. They are my world. My everything. I wouldn’t change my story if it meant I wouldn’t have them.”

  “As a mother, I understand that in theory … but aren’t you at least a little bitter?”

  I twist my lips and then shake my head. “I don’t have space in my heart for anger. I’m just grateful to have had the strength to leave.”

  “You were always way more mature than me,” Harper says smiling wistfully. “Even when we were kids-- you never got caught up in petty drama. You’ve always known who you are.”

  I raise an eyebrow, not seeing myself that way at all. I sure got caught up in Luke’s cult for longer than I’d like to admit.

  Just then the front door slams and I jump, startled. Harper’s wine sloshes from the rim of her glass, and I apologize.

  “Sorry, I just... I got...” I reach for a burp cloth on the coffee table, soaking up the wine, but Harper doesn’t seem to care in the slightest. She’s bounding across the room toward Jaxon.

  “Is he here? Is everything okay? Was the drive rough?” She bombards him with questions. I watch Jaxon shake his head slowly at his woman, wrapping an arm around her. “You were supposed to call me on your way home.”

  “Damn, woman, everything’s fine. And I did call, you just never answered your phone.”

  Harper twists her lips, and I realize I haven’t seen her look at a phone all night.

  She shrugs, gives a little laugh. “Oh. Well. I’m glad you’re safe. But where’s Ben?”

  “He’ll be here in a week. He must see the judge and wrap up some stuff in town. But he’ll be here soon enough, thank God for that.”

  He kisses her then, not noticing me a few yards away. Or maybe he does and just doesn�
��t care. I can’t imagine what it would be like to have a man like that, so utterly devoted to me.

  I stand awkwardly, watching the pair, my heart aching for their familiarity, their playfulness—their complete love.

  Jaxon walks over and gives me a hug too. “Glad you made it, Honor. You’re safe now.”

  I exhale, wanting so badly to believe him. Needing to believe him.

  Smiling, I tell them goodnight, thinking these two need some time alone.

  In the bedroom, I lean over the Pack ‘n Plays, kissing the heads of Timothy and Thomas. Then I reach for Titus and carry him to the queen-sized bed. Slipping under the covers, still dressed but exhausted, I pull Titus to me, holding him close to my chest, so grateful I have my children beside me. Breathing in his sweet baby smell, I will my eyes to close.

  As I try to fall asleep, I imagine a man loving me the way Jaxon loves Harper—so completely.

  It seems like a gift I’ll never receive. But I have my babies, and I’m far away from Luke, and for now that is more than enough.

  Chapter Three

  Honor

  “Just go,” Harper tells me. “You haven’t left the house all week. Go get yourself a cup of coffee and slice of pie at Rosie’s diner. We can manage the kids.”

  I look around Harper’s living room. It looks like a daycare threw up. Harper’s best friends, Rosie and Stella, were over all day with their kids. While it was nice to spend more time with Harper’s girlfriends, I felt myself withdraw more and more as the afternoon passed.

  I miss my sister-wives. Not in a way that would make sense to anyone else... not because they are friendly—no; they are quick to judge, sneer, and raise an eyebrow —but they are the only family I know.

  Listening to Rosie moan about her husband Buck’s dirty clothes on the bedroom floor or Stella telling us how her man Wilder is on diaper duty every day between seven p.m. and midnight, makes me think how I left my family. And sure, Harper and Jaxon are family... but they also have each other. Me? I have to figure out how to make a life for myself.