Never Say Never

by Dooley, Lena Nelson

  “It is all right for me to call you Charlotte, isn’t it?”

  All she could do was nod as his intense gaze captured hers.

  “And you must call me Gareth.” He pulled out the chair across from Charlotte. “May I join you while I drink my coffee? I only have a few minutes before I go back and relieve the first mate.”

  Charlotte wondered how he had entered the room without her being aware of it. His presence seemed to fill the space. She must have been really engrossed in that book, but now she couldn’t even remember its title.

  ❧

  Gareth hadn’t intended to ask that last question. Even after his heart-to-heart with Doug and Homer over an early breakfast, he planned to keep his distance from this beautiful woman. Although Doug encouraged him to develop a relationship with her, Homer agreed with Gareth that it wasn’t a good idea. But here he was sitting across the table from her, and she looked like a reindeer caught in the headlights of a car. Large, luminous eyes with just a hint of fright in them. Why was she afraid? He wouldn’t hurt her for the world. But he knew, even at this early stage, that she could hurt him if she wanted to.

  “I see you had a good breakfast.” Now why did he say that? “I mean, after not eating much of your dinner last night.”

  Charlotte’s tense shoulders relaxed. “Yes, I was hungry. And the food is really good. You obviously have wonderful chefs aboard.”

  “Yes, over a hundred at last count.”

  She brushed dark curls back from her forehead. Gareth imagined his fingers tangled in those silky strands. The thought amazed him. When he carried on mild flirtations with women on cruises, he never touched them. At least not in that kind of way. He was very careful to keep everything light and. . .unentangled.

  What was it about her that drew him? Last night when that other woman asked about her husband, he recognized the pain in her eyes. A shadow of it still lingered this morning. She was emotionally tied to her deceased husband. He knew all about such ties. Although it had been several years since Britte’s death, he still loved his late wife very much.

  Charlotte stood and started to gather her bag, sunglasses, and book. “I think I’ll go see if I can find my daughter.”

  Gareth reached across the table and touched her arm. “Please don’t leave just yet. I’m sure she’s okay. There are crewmembers all over the ship to give passengers any help they need. Tell me a little about your family.”

  Charlotte sank back into the comfortable chair. “There isn’t much to tell.”

  “Where are you from?” Gareth leaned his crossed arms on the small table.

  “Texas. . .the Dallas-Fort Worth area.” Charlotte hoped she looked all right. Her hair had fallen across her face while she was reading, and she had brushed it back several times. It probably looked like a rat’s nest, and she knew she had eaten off all her lipstick. She gritted her teeth to keep from mashing her lips together to bring more color into them. Why did it matter? “Where are you from, Captain, uh. . .Gareth?”

  ❧

  He liked the way his name rolled off her soft southern drawl. “I grew up in Belgium. But my family is from the Netherlands. My wife and I had a home in Oosterhout.”

  “Had?”

  “Well, I still have the house, but Britte has been gone for over three years.”

  “Gone?”

  It was a lame way to explain what happened. “Yes, she had cancer, but she hid it from me as long as she could. I spent her last nine months with her.” Gareth couldn’t believe he was telling her so much about his life. He never told anything personal to the women he spent time with on the cruises.

  Charlotte reached over and patted his forearm. “I understand. Well, maybe I don’t understand completely. Philip was killed by a drunk driver. It was sudden. I can’t imagine watching your mate waste away for nine months.” Tears pooled in her eyes, and a couple trailed down her cheeks.

  Before she could wipe them off, Gareth gently touched her face. “Don’t cry for me, Charlotte. I’ve learned to live with the pain.”

  “Maybe I’m crying for me as much as for you. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to really live with the pain.” She dug in her purse and finally brought out an empty, crumpled tissue package.

  Gareth reached into his back pocket and pulled out his handkerchief, glad that he’d put a fresh one in his trousers this morning. “Here.” He took her chin in one hand and gently patted the fresh tears away.

  As they gazed into each other’s eyes, Gareth recognized a new understanding flowing between them. Maybe they could be friends for the length of the cruise. Then they would both move on.

  ❧

  “Mom, where have you been?” When Charlotte opened the cabin door, Chelle stood in the middle of the room with her hands on her hips and wrapped in one of the large, thick bath towels.

  “I could ask you the same thing.” Charlotte closed the door and dropped her purse on the small table beside the couch. “You were gone when I got up.”

  “I went for a run around that top deck.” She pulled a smaller towel from around her neck and began rubbing her wet hair. “When I got back, you were gone.”

  Charlotte picked up the day’s itinerary from beside her bag. “There’s a church service in the theater on deck four. Why don’t we go?”

  Chelle leaned toward the mirror above the desk and inspected her face, flicking at something on her cheek. “I haven’t eaten yet.” She turned back toward her mom. “Aren’t you hungry?”

  “I ate in the Oceanic Grille.” Charlotte looked down at the itinerary. “It says here that we can call room service anytime. Why don’t we have something sent to the cabin for you? By the time it arrives, you should be dressed.”

  Charlotte could tell by the look on her daughter’s face, this wouldn’t have been her first choice, but she agreed.

  ❧

  “Wow, Mom, this place is huge!” Chelle stood beside Charlotte at the back of the theater.

  Before them, a carpeted aisle sloped downward toward the front. At this angle all the seats in the room must be good ones. Charlotte glanced around, trying to decide where to sit.

  “You don’t want to go down front, do you?” Chelle’s question let her know what she thought.

  “Where do you want to sit?” Might as well let her daughter make as many decisions as she could. Soon enough, something would come up where Charlotte would have to be the mother.

  Chelle led the way, stopping a third of the way down the aisle. She moved into the row of seats and dropped into the second one. Good. She wanted to sit by the aisle. Charlotte did, too. Soft instrumental hymns played over the sound system, setting a tranquil mood. Most of the people in the room were several rows ahead of them. She wished they had chosen a place closer, but it didn’t matter. She could worship wherever she was.

  ❧

  “Mom, did you notice that the captain was at the church service?” Chelle dug through the clothes in her drawer, destroying the neat piles her mother created when she unpacked.

  Charlotte set her Bible and purse on the table and reached down to pull off her high-heeled sandals. Why had she brought them? Even if they did look good, she was on vacation, and they definitely weren’t comfortable for long. “Yes, I noticed him sitting over to the side.”

  “I think it’s cool that the captain is a Christian.” Chelle pulled some bits of fabric from the middle of her favorite beach towel.

  “Just because he was there doesn’t mean he’s a Christian.” But Charlotte hoped he was. Surely she wouldn’t feel so drawn to a man who wasn’t.

  “I know.” Chelle pulled her T-shirt over her head. “But I saw him singing the praise songs, and he wasn’t reading the words on the screens. It looked to me like he was worshiping.”

  Charlotte moved through the hangers in the closet, trying to decide what to wear for the rest of the day. Maybe the navy capris and white T-shirt with the stylized American flag design on the front. She turned around and frowned.

  �
��What are you doing?”

  Chelle’s defiant eyes glared at her. “I’m going out to get some sun. Maybe by the pool on deck nine.”

  “Not in that, you’re not.” Charlotte tried not to sound too strident. “Where did you get that bikini?”

  “Merry loaned it to me.” Chelle started rubbing suntan lotion on her exposed stomach. “She said I’d need it on a cruise.”

  Charlotte counted to ten under her breath. What she wanted to do was get her hands on Merry. The girl was nice enough, but her parents’ standards and discipline were looser than Charlotte’s and Philip’s had always been.

  “You are not going out of this room dressed like that.”

  “M–o–m.” Chelle took a deep breath. “I’m not doing anything bad.”

  Charlotte hated this—this frequent battle between the generations. If only she had someone to back her up. At times like these, Philip’s absence grew enormous.

  “I know you aren’t going to do anything bad, but we’ve talked often enough about how what you do affects others.”

  Chelle started saying the words with her, and Charlotte’s voice trailed off. “Other people judge you by what you do and wear. You don’t want them to get the wrong idea. And you don’t want to tempt a young man to sin.”

  They stood staring at each other, locked in stalemate.

  “Are you telling me I have to wear something else?”

  Charlotte nodded, almost too upset to say anything. “Remember, we did buy you a new swimsuit to bring on the cruise.” She picked up the two-piece with a tank-style top and boy-leg shorts.

  Chelle gave a loud huff. Did she think she would wear her mother down and Charlotte would agree to those tiny patches of fabric that left nothing to the imagination? Didn’t she see what a beautiful young woman she was becoming? Lord, I need Your help and wisdom, now more than ever.

  While Chelle changed, Charlotte looked over the list of excursions. Maybe it would help diffuse the tension in the room. “This brochure says we need to choose which of these we want to go on and order the tickets today. Some of them might fill up quickly.” She sat on the couch and slipped on her flat sandals. “Have you decided what you want to do at our first stop, Cozumel?”

  “Yes, I want to go to the Tulum ruins and Xel-Ha. That really is a funny way to spell shell.”

  Charlotte leafed through the book. “That’s a long excursion—eight hours away from the ship. I don’t think I want to be gone that long. Maybe we could do something else.”

  Chelle heaved an exaggerated sigh. “Do we have to do everything together?” She stopped and tried another tack. “If I promise not to ask to wear this again”—she held up the bikini—“can I go?”

  Compromise. That’s the way to do it. Charlotte was glad for an end to the argument about the inappropriate swimsuit.

  “I’m sure they won’t let anything happen to the people who go, and since I’m old enough to work, I should be able to take care of myself on the excursion.” Chelle gave Charlotte a hopeful smile.

  Charlotte paused, then decided she could give on this one. “Okay, I’ll sign you up. We can talk about the excursions on Grand Cayman and Jamaica later.” She didn’t want to have another hassle right now.

  After Chelle left the cabin, Charlotte decided to explore some of the ship. Coming on the trip with her daughter had sounded like a good idea, but it looked as if she would be spending a lot of solitary time, too. Their interests were different, and Chelle didn’t want her mother hanging around all the time. If they went to the shows together and ate most meals with each other, maybe they would both enjoy the trip.

  On the elevator, a woman asked where Charlotte was from. The woman spoke with a thick accent. Charlotte tried to place it. “We’re from Bedford, Texas. Where do you live?”

  “Germany.” The woman’s friendly smile warmed Charlotte’s heart.

  “Did you come over just for the cruise?”

  “Jah, we came for cruise, but we spent two nights in French Quarter of New Orleans before we got on boat.”

  Charlotte exited the elevator and looked all around the Centrum, the four-deck-high atrium with balcony railings on each of the decks. Her eyes roved the wall of windows on each side of deck four. All she could see was water and the sky with a few cottony clouds. She almost felt as if she were on the ark. Nothing but water everywhere. At least the accommodations were luxurious, and there weren’t any smelly animals.

  After exploring the other decks surrounding the Centrum, she went back to deck seven to check out the library. Since she liked to read, it beckoned her. A large room, which could be divided into two, held welcoming furniture groupings, and many of the walls were lined with bookshelves. Warm, rich wood and lots of brass complemented the pulled-back drapes and forest green carpet. Even with all this, Charlotte felt the openness of the room, because the outside wall consisted of floor-to-ceiling windows, and the wall that faced the Centrum was all glass, letting in the outside world.

  Charlotte walked along the bookshelves to see what was available. An interesting and eclectic collection of reading material spread across the polished wooden shelves. A couple of sections held books that passengers had left for others. She glanced through them and found one by her favorite author of Christian suspense. A title she hadn’t read yet. She picked the volume up and thumbed through it. Maybe she’d take it for those leisure times when she didn’t want to do anything but relax and read.

  She chose a chair that faced the ocean and read the back cover. Goose bumps raised on her arms. Maybe she wouldn’t relax that much when she read this one, but it was the last one in a series. She had read the first two.

  Charlotte sensed the door open and glanced over her shoulder. Her gaze collided with that of the captain. . .Gareth.

  ❧

  Gareth often took a break from the bridge, especially while they were at sea. Homer was perfectly capable of taking care of things, and while they were moving across open water, frequent breaks were called for to keep from getting bored, losing their edge, and missing something important they should have caught.

  His restlessness sent him to the library. Perhaps one of the passengers had left a book he hadn’t read. Next time they were in New Orleans, he planned to visit a bookstore and restock his supply of reading material.

  As he approached the glass walls of the library, he noticed a seated woman. She faced away from the door. From the back, it looked like Charlotte. What good luck. Even though he didn’t seek her out at the service this morning, she had been in his thoughts a lot since then. A short visit right now would be a good thing.

  She turned toward him, and her startled gaze reached deep inside him. “Charlotte, how nice to see you again.” How lame was that?

  “Capt–Gareth. . .do you like to read?”

  He quickly dropped into the chair beside hers. “Yes. Although we have satellite TV, many of the shows don’t interest me. I enjoy reading.”

  “Something else we have in common.”

  Did she know how that sounded? As if she were looking for a connection between them. Well, so was he now. But only a light, shipboard romance. He couldn’t face another relationship that could cut him to the core the way the last months with Britte had done. No more loving so much and giving his heart, only to have it broken and bruised.

  “What are you reading?” His gaze dropped to the cover of the book.

  “It’s a Christian suspense novel. I love reading suspense and mystery, but so many of the books had things I didn’t like to read.” Her smile lit the whole room. “I’m glad to find more and more Christian suspense books.”

  “Did you bring it with you?”

  She laid the book in her lap. “No, I got it off your exchange shelf over there. I’ve read the other two in this series.”

  “I’ve found several good books on those shelves.” He leaned forward with his forearms on his thighs. “Maybe I can read it if you finish it before we dock in New Orleans.”

  “
You mean I can take it home with me if I don’t?” Mirth put a crinkle around her eyes, making her face soften. She looked much younger.

  He nodded. “So, what have you been doing today? I mean besides going to the service.”

  “So you did notice us there.” She sure sounded glad. “Chelle and I were trying to decide what excursions to take. She wants to go to Tulum and Xel-Ha. I don’t think I want to spend that much time on an excursion. I may want to do a little shopping.”

  By her tone, something was bothering her. “Is there a problem?”

  “I told her she could go alone, but I can’t help worrying.” She started twisting a lock of her shoulder-length curls with her right hand. “I can’t have anything happen to her.”

  He heard the too she left unsaid at the end of that statement, and his heart softened at her vulnerability. “She’ll be okay. The crewmembers who accompany the group watch out for the passengers. They’re well trained.” Maybe a joke would lighten the atmosphere in here. “We haven’t lost a passenger yet.”

  Charlotte gave a nervous laugh. “Isn’t this only the second cruise for this ship?”

  She had him there. “But most of the crew members have been there several times. They’ve served on other ships owned by the line. Only the most experienced and responsible members of the crew go on an excursion like that.” He took her hand and gazed deep into her eyes. “Nothing will happen to your daughter on my watch.”

  ❧

  After his leisurely hour break, Gareth returned to his quarters. He called Doug immediately. “Who do you have going to Tulum and Xel-Ha tomorrow?”

  The purser rattled off a list of crewmembers with the most experience with this kind of tour. “What’s this all about? These are the ones who usually go.”

  “Chelle Halloran wants to go, but her mother doesn’t. Charlotte’s almost afraid to let her go, but she did buy her a ticket. Could you assign someone to keep a special eye on her without her knowing it?”

  After a long pause, Doug answered, “I’ll take care of it for you. . .Gareth, do you know what you’re doing? I know I told you I thought a pretty lady might do you some good, but don’t move too fast.”