Never Say Never

by Dooley, Lena Nelson

  Chelle quickly answered, “I want Jeanie.”

  It didn’t matter to Charlotte, but she was glad that Chelle hadn’t asked for the man.

  Soft music wafted through the air, mingling with the tropical scent from the candles that sat on a ledge along two walls of the room. Charlotte began to relax. So far this cruise had turned out to be an emotional roller-coaster ride, and she needed something to soothe her.

  Carlos pulled the sheet to her waist and anointed her with scented oil that mixed well with the fresh perfume from the candles. As he rubbed it into her skin, his fingers found all the stress knots and gently, but firmly, worked them out.

  “Mom, could you believe what that man in the show did last night?” Evidently Chelle wanted to talk.

  “Are you over your embarrassment yet?” Charlotte chuckled as she turned her head to look at her daughter.

  “It doesn’t seem so bad this morning, but when he took me up on stage and sang to me, I couldn’t believe that so many people were looking at me.” Chelle’s voice slowed, probably from the effects of the massage. “I don’t mind being in front of a group, if there are people I know. But that theater holds a bunch of people, and I didn’t know many of them. It might be good practice for when I go to college, though.”

  Charlotte laughed. “You do have another year before that.”

  ❧

  Because of their light breakfast, Chelle and Charlotte went down to the dining room for lunch right after their time at the spa. They barely made it before the dining room closed.

  While they were waiting for their lunch to arrive, Chelle held up her hands. “I like this color on my nails.”

  Charlotte chuckled. “My pale pink is more to my liking than that electric blue on yours. I can’t believe you also had it put on your toenails. You don’t really have anything to wear with it.”

  “M–o–m, your nails don’t have to match your clothes anymore.”

  After they finished most of their food, Chelle asked her mother if she could try to find some of her new friends she’d met on the ship. Charlotte waved her away and sipped more of the wonderful coffee. She knew they served Starbucks at the Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream shop on deck six, but she hadn’t realized that they also had it here.

  When she left the dining room, she went up to check out deck eight. On one side of the Centrum, a computer room allowed passengers to go online. . .for a price. She hadn’t wanted to read e-mail. This vacation meant getting away from all that. Besides, she really wasn’t that comfortable with the new electronic world. All but one of the eight computers had passengers sitting in front of them. Evidently not everyone shared Charlotte’s feelings.

  The library on deck seven sounded like a good idea. Of course, she hadn’t had time to read the book she borrowed off the shelves, so she didn’t want to return it, but she took the elevator to that level anyway. She walked to the wall of windows and stared out at the gently undulating waves. Tiny white caps indicated that there was a wind, but the movement of the ship was so slight, she couldn’t feel it unless she concentrated. Off in the distance, another cruise ship moved toward them. Probably on the way to the Caribbean. They should pass each other before long. Farther away, two more oil rig platforms were silhouetted against the bright blue sky.

  “Charlotte.”

  The familiar voice called to something inside her. She placed a hand on her stomach to calm the butterflies and turned. “Gareth. Are you on a break again?”

  “Yes. The ship almost runs itself when we’re at sea. You know, with satellite positioning and computers, all we have to do is keep watch on the equipment. This is Homer’s afternoon on duty.” His long legs quickly brought him across the carpeted floor.

  ❧

  Even with her hair bunched up under that plastic clamp thing, Charlotte took Gareth’s breath away. Black curls had escaped and framed her face, making her skin look fresh and her blue eyes sparkle. He wanted to pull her into his arms and kiss her until she, too, was breathless. How could he feel such a strong attraction when he vowed never to get involved with another woman?

  Almost of its own volition, his hand reached up and twirled one of the curls around his finger. At the first touch, Charlotte held her breath, but she didn’t pull away. The expression in her eyes was wary, but inviting. He had to break this magnetism. He dropped his hand to his side and looked down at the couch.

  “Let’s sit here and talk.” The words sounded husky even to his own ears.

  “Okay.” Charlotte sat on the far end.

  He followed her, but instead of sitting by the other end, he chose the middle, closer to her. After placing his arm along the back of the sofa, he glanced into her eyes. “So what did you do this morning?” Maybe that question could move them to safer ground.

  Charlotte held up her hands. “Chelle and I had a massage, then a spa manicure and pedicure.”

  He wanted to take them in his and kiss the fingertips. “They look nice.”

  “Just nice?” Charlotte laughed, the sound music to his ears. “Nice is such an insipid word.”

  “Okay.” He took a moment to compose his answer. “Your hand is lovelier than any other hand on the whole ship. How was that?”

  This time, he joined in her laughter. As they continued to talk, Charlotte’s gaze often glanced toward the waves outside the windows. She seemed to sink lower into the cushions of the sofa, and her eyes started drifting closed. He knew how relaxing a massage could be. Maybe she needed a nap. When her eyes finally stayed shut, her head began to loll. Gareth slipped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her toward him, so she leaned against his chest. She must have felt comfortable, because she snuggled closer without waking.

  She looked so beautiful sleeping—younger and, well, relaxed. He felt free to gaze at her as much as he wanted. A slight sound from the door drew his attention. Chelle stared into his eyes. Her frown turned into a stricken expression. Before he could react, she turned and ran away.

  Gareth gazed down at Charlotte’s head nestled against his chest. Should he tell her what happened? Would it help or drive more of a wedge between mother and daughter?

  ❧

  During dinner, Gareth tried not to pay any more attention to Charlotte than he did any other woman at his table. Even though the bright freshness of her face had the same pull as the North Star on a compass, he intentionally looked at the other women, especially Chelle. From the first moment they arrived, the teenager’s expression told him that she was watching him. So he had included her in every conversation, asking her opinion on several of the subjects discussed. During the course of the meal, she seemed to relax, so he probably had been right not to worry her mother about Chelle seeing them in the library.

  Charlotte pushed her dessert plate away and moved the napkin from her lap to the table. “I can’t take another bite. . . even though I love crème brûlée.”

  Chelle followed her mother’s example then moved her chair away from the table. “Mom, I want to meet some of my friends up on deck. Okay?”

  After studying her daughter’s face, Charlotte nodded. “Okay. Just don’t stay out very late.”

  It didn’t take Chelle long to weave a path around the tables and exit through the open doorway. She glanced back for only a moment before she was completely out of the room. Gareth felt her stare as if it were a physical punch. Maybe she hadn’t gotten over her problem with what happened earlier.

  The teenager proved to be the catalyst to start a mass exit from the table. In a couple of minutes, only he and Charlotte remained.

  “Would you like to take a walk on deck?” Gareth pulled her chair out and offered her his arm.

  Charlotte smiled up at him, slid her hand through the crook of his elbow, and placed it on his forearm. He felt the touch through the uniform jacket and the shirt he wore underneath. Other people milled around on the outside deck of level four where the dining room was, so he led the way to the elevator. They walked down the hallways on deck eight to reac
h the bridge. He ushered her through to the small balcony on the side.

  “Am I supposed to be here?” Charlotte’s skin, bathed in the bright moonlight, took on the delicate shine of a rare pearl.

  He wanted to touch her cheek, but instead he leaned his arms on the railing and faced the wind, which was enhanced by the forward movement of the ship. “It’s all right if I bring you.” He turned and leaned back against the rail so he could watch her expression.

  “I never get tired of looking at the moon reflected on the water.” Her eyes traced a track along the light path then turned toward the heavens. “And the stars are brighter out here over the water. It’s so beautiful.” Her last word was a whisper.

  And you’re so beautiful, Charlotte. Did he dare say it aloud, or would the intimacy of the isolated place lead them down a road they weren’t ready to travel? Charlotte rubbed her hands on her bare upper arms.

  “Is it too cool out here for you?” He pulled her close and held her against his chest, tempted to kiss her, but not succumbing to the temptation. “We could go to my quarters and talk. Homer and Marilyn will be nearby.”

  Gareth felt Charlotte’s head nod before she whispered, “Okay.”

  When he slid his key card into the door, Marilyn stuck her head out of their quarters. “I have a pot of coffee made. Would you two like some?”

  ❧

  The Wilsons only stayed and visited a few minutes, and Charlotte was glad they left both Gareth’s door and the door to their apartment open. Gareth moved from his chair across the room to sit near her on the sofa. She slipped off her shoes, which weren’t very comfortable, and pulled her feet up beside her, spreading her full skirt to cover them.

  “Tonight is the last night of the cruise.” She tried to keep the wistful note out of her tone.

  “I know.” Gareth leaned forward and held his hands loosely between his knees. “I’ve been thinking about it ever since we left the library.”

  “I can’t believe I fell asleep up there.” She ran her fingers through her hair pushing the curls away from her face.

  “It was probably because of the massage. Have you had one before?” Gareth leaned back and rested his arms along the back of the plush leather sofa.

  She shook her head. “No, it was my first.”

  “You may have been tired from all the activities, too.” When he smiled, the skin beside his eyes crinkled.

  This man would be the perfect one to have a shipboard romance with. . .if he weren’t the captain. . .and if she were ready for such a thing. “I’ve really enjoyed the cruise, especially the time I’ve spent with you.”

  “Charlotte, tell me about your husband.”

  His question startled her. What could she tell him about Philip? “He was in the military when we got married. A helicopter pilot. Chelle was a baby when he was sent to the Middle East. Philip made medical evacuations and was used in rescue operations. I worried about him all the time, but he came through that without a scratch.” She glanced at Gareth and noticed his rapt attention to what she was saying. “He went to the police academy when he got out of the service. He loved helping people. Many of the officers had second jobs to supplement their incomes. Philip sold insurance, again because he believed it helped people.” Her leg started tingling as if it was going to sleep, so she thrust one foot out in front of her and tapped it on the floor. “He had never had even a close encounter with disaster until that night a year ago.” She stopped to swallow the lump in her throat.

  Gareth’s hand covered hers. “You don’t have to go on, if you don’t want to.”

  “It’s okay.” She turned over the hand under his until their palms were facing, interlacing her fingers with his. “I couldn’t believe that he had been in such dangerous professions, but he was killed on the safe job.”

  Gareth shifted closer. “Selling insurance?”

  Charlotte laughed. “No. He was coming home from the insurance office after staying until two in the morning doing paperwork. He stopped to help a stranded motorist on the freeway, and a drunk driver hit and killed him.”

  He pulled his hand free and gently gathered her into his arms. “I’m sorry. We’ve both had to face hard times.”

  She nodded against his comforting chest. “I know. That’s why I don’t want to become too close to anyone again. It hurts too much to lose them.” But she was very close to Gareth right now, and it felt good.

  ❧

  Gareth felt the moment her stiffness relaxed, and he tightened his embrace. “I know. Losing Britte was too hard.” His breath stirred her dark curls, tickling his cheek, but he didn’t try to move away.

  Finally, he sat back and lifted his head. “You do know that something is happening between us, don’t you?”

  Charlotte pulled away and leaned down, slowly working her high-heeled sandals onto her feet. “It can’t be. That part of my life is over. . . . Never. . .” Her voice drifted off into nothingness.

  “Maybe I should go back to my cabin.” She looked at her wristwatch. “It’s getting pretty late. It’s not really fair to give Chelle a curfew and then get to the cabin so much later myself.”

  Gareth stood then pulled her to her feet. “Okay.” He turned her to face him and kept his hands on her shoulders. “I’m not sorry for what is happening.” He kissed the end of her pert nose. “I’m not going to push you for more than you can give, but I want a relationship with you, even if it’s only as a friend.”

  She let out a relieved sigh. “Yes, I want us to be friends.”

  Gareth wasn’t going to let her go to her cabin alone. He didn’t care what anyone else thought. He would escort her to her door.

  They strolled down the hallway and took the elevator to deck three. Then they walked two-thirds of the way along the length of that hallway, making small talk as they went.

  “I want to be quiet, so I don’t wake Chelle,” Charlotte whispered as she slipped her key card in and out of the slot. She pushed the handle down and the door swept open.

  Gareth glanced into the stateroom. All the lights were on, but no one was there. “Do you want me to make sure everything is all right?”

  “She’s probably just in the bathroom.” Charlotte tapped on the closed door.

  Nothing.

  “Chelle, are you in there?” Charlotte paused then opened the door.

  The bathroom was empty.

  Fear shot through Charlotte’s expression and settled into her eyes. “Where can she be?”

  Gareth had to stop himself from laughing. “She has to be on the ship. We’re a long way from land.”

  She turned toward him and took hold of his lapels. “Gareth, I told her to not stay out late. By now, the only thing going on is gambling or night clubbing, right?”

  “Or she could be up on the pool deck.”

  “We have to find her.” Charlotte wasn’t far from hysteria as she rushed out the door.

  Eight

  Gareth quickly closed the door to the cabin and caught up with Charlotte before she reached the lobby that contained the closest bank of elevators. He took her by the shoulders. “You need to calm down. You don’t want to get Chelle, or anyone else, upset.” He crushed her against his chest and rubbed her back. “It’s going to be okay. She’s probably trying to assert her independence. Isn’t that what teenagers do?”

  Charlotte sobbed once then pulled back. “You’re right. I just can’t lose her, too.”

  He leaned down until his face was even with hers. “You are not going to lose her tonight.” Charlotte was so upset, he decided it would better to get crewmembers to search for Chelle.

  After he guided her to the elevator, he punched the button for deck five. They exited the car, and he hurried Charlotte around the Centrum to the Purser’s office. Two staff members manned the front desk, but he didn’t stop to talk to them. He pulled Charlotte around the tall counter and through the doorway behind it. When he reached Doug’s office, he stuck his head in. One of the assistant pursers was on du
ty.

  “Do you know where Doug is?”

  The young woman didn’t bat an eye, even though he couldn’t ever remember being in this area of the ship when she was on duty. “He said he planned to watch a movie tonight.”

  When they reached the purser’s quarters, Gareth knocked on the door. “Doug, are you decent? I have someone with me.”

  “Be there in a minute.” Gareth could barely hear the answer through the well-insulated wall.

  Doug finally opened the door while still tucking in his T-shirt. He scanned Gareth’s face, then looked beyond him to Charlotte and pulled the door open wider. “Come in. I had to pick up a little of the clutter before I opened the door.”

  Gareth was sure he had. His friend wasn’t a slob, but he also wasn’t Mister Neatnik. “We have a little problem. Can we sit down and talk about it?” Hoping the relaxed atmosphere would calm some of Charlotte’s fears, he guided her to the sofa.

  “Can I offer you something to drink?” Doug asked while he clicked off the TV.

  “No.” Charlotte’s word was a whisper. She cleared her throat. “No, thank you.”

  Doug took a seat on his bed and glanced from one of them to the other. “What’s the problem?”

  Gareth answered before Charlotte could. He hoped he could keep everything calmer that way. “Charlotte’s daughter should be in her room, but she isn’t. Can you get two or three of your best people, who can search for her without causing a stir, and send them out?”

  “Sure.” Doug went to his desk and pulled a notebook toward him. He picked up his phone and punched three buttons. “Tell Manuel, Aretha, and Reuben that I want to see them. . . .” He turned toward Gareth and covered the mouthpiece. “In your quarters?” When Gareth nodded, he told the person on the other end of the line.

  Gareth took Charlotte’s hand in his. “They will be discreet. Let’s go up to the apartment and wait for them.”

  After they stood, Gareth held his hand out to Doug. “Thank you.”