The Royal Treatment

by Lindsey Leavitt

  “I prefer it. Your usual prattling grates on me. But see to it that you engage in appropriate conversation with the guests. A tight corset hardly stopped your ancestors. You can start by thanking the Earl of Nortenberg and his son, Gavin. His wife sent us a lovely crystal vase from, I believe, the nineteenth century.”

  Wait. Red alert. Red alert. I had two jobs here—one was to be as Millie-like as possible so Auntie Ostrich didn’t get suspicious. Millie talked all the time. My other job was to avoid speaking to the blond-haired, droopy-eyed boy in tights and lavender knickers now approaching with his father. The two commands completely contradicted each other.

  “Earl William. You remember my niece, Millie.”

  The Earl bowed. “Yes, of course, Your Highness. I do believe she attended school with my son.”

  “Hey, Millie,” Gavin said, bored.

  “Hello, Gavin,” I said back in the same tone. Two words. Millie wouldn’t give me a bad PPR for two words, would she?

  Auntie Ostrich glared at me. “Millie was just telling me how much she loved your gift.”

  Earl William I could talk to. I positioned my body so it was clear who was being addressed. “Yes, it’s a lovely vase.” I paused, flashing again to Millie’s profile. Talk fast and a lot. “We have it in our main sitting area. It catches the light perfectly and makes a pretty double rainbow on the wall. I love rainbows, don’t you? I use to have this wild dress when I was little that had all these colors—”

  “Now, child,” Auntie Ostrich chided, “let’s not bore the earl with unnecessary details.”

  The earl chuckled. “I have heard of your…how do they say it…gift for gab, Your Highness. And now that I know how much you appreciate our country’s fine crystal, I’ll make sure to take note for future gifts.”

  “Oh, you are too kind, Earl William,” Auntie Ostrich said. “Now, let’s leave these schoolmates to their youthful conversation. I’m sure they have much to talk about, and I must show you my recently purchased paintings.”

  Earl William escorted Auntie away. Gavin rubbed his nose and yawned.

  Ahhh!! The warning bell rang over and over in my head. Yes, I’d managed to become chatterbox Millie and still avoided talking to Gavin, but now it was just the two of us. I so wanted to do this right, and Millie had been clear in her profile. Don’t say anything. Don’t say anything. Don’t say—

  “So someone said you were taking fall off to travel the world or some such?” Gavin asked.

  I did a halfhearted shrug.

  Gavin scratched his chin. “I get so tired of traveling sometimes. Museums can be so tedious. Same with monasteries and castles and vineyards. And yes, I know my family owns a large Renoir collection, but do I need to see it? You’ve seen one famous old painting, you’ve seen them all. Right?”

  I readjusted my wig. Genevieve said if I tuned in to my magic, it would be strengthened. Was there an internal switch inside me that made it go on? Or did I first have to figure out the special emotion she was talking about? If mine was boredom, then magic would have been swirling out of my ears right then. This guy went on and on and on and.…

  “Now, I did travel to Greece this summer. Excellent cuisine there in Greece. Doesn’t quite compare to some of the costal towns in Italy, but what does? I had this prosciutto in Sicily once that was divine. Perfect amount of marbling in the fat.…”

  Good gravy. Now would be a fabulous time for that magic to kick in. Any minute. Just zap this kid away. And…go. ZAP.

  No wonder Millie was so annoyed that Gavin thought she liked him. If I could talk, I would yell at him to stop telling such pompous snories. Sorry, stories.

  “…and then I said, I don’t care if you’re the Duke of the Whole World, I still want a rematch!” He burst into laughter and slapped his knee.

  I smiled weakly at his lame joke, scanning the crowd for a getaway. Technically, I was still in the clear. I wasn’t speaking. But at some point he was going to expect a sound from me. I had to escape.

  “You know, I always thought you were a tad chatty for my tastes. But you’re actually quite agreeable. Lynette told me you fancy me. Maybe if we spent more time together, something could…blossom.”

  I tensed. Talk about backfire. All this guy wanted was someone quiet so he could listen to himself talk. But being quiet was my instruction. What was I supposed to do? “Er…”

  He stared at me expectedly, like of course Millie was going to jump at a chance with him. I’d rather jump off a bridge.

  This was not something BEST prepared me for. But as much as I hated to admit it, someone had groomed me for this situation during Level One training. Lilith.

  Wait, this WAS the situation I’d practiced with Lilith! Art museum with a great-aunt. Had she known then that I would be here now? No, of course she couldn’t have. Besides, the strategies she’d taught me would work at any time. Like now.

  Show him my jewelry? No, he wouldn’t care.

  Change the subject? He would be more encouraged to ramble.

  Laryngitis! That’s it.

  My resolve wavered. All during Level One training I’d been so set on impacting these princesses. As Meredith suggested, I had used my MP to guide my choices, even when the choices had been out of character for the princess. Now I was doing exactly as Lilith instructed—I personified Millie. Full Method. I had to get Millie out of this situation without breaking character.

  I grabbed my throat and made my voice sound hoarse. “Sore.”

  Gavin stepped back. “Oh, don’t get me ill. I have to speak at an orphanage tomorrow because my family is an important donor. We donated quite a bit of money to those urchins. Quite a bit. Not too much, naturally, but enough to warrant recognition. Orphanages are rather passé, though, so when I’m in charge of the family holdings I’d like to concentrate instead on—”

  I pointed to my throat. “Water.” I rushed across the room to the bar, and asked for a glass of water. Why did it always seem like I was running away on this job? Gavin blinked at me, surprised that someone he thought was so enamored with him would leave so quickly. I raised my glass to him as if to say, See? Can’t talk. Gotta drink.

  The orchestra broke into a waltz. Couples filled the dance floor. I almost choked when Gavin began to make his way over to me. Sweat trickled down my back, which might’ve had something to do with the corset. I took another sip of water and steadied myself against a table before barreling ahead to the bathroom. I was almost there when a girl around my age with a yellow dress and hair curled like Goldilocks attacked me with a hug.

  “Millie! Where have you been? I love, love, love your costume. Isn’t mine the best? I want to bring corsets back into fashion and I’m also thinking these wigs are…Hey, did I see you talking to Gavin? Is it true that you like him?”

  I shook my head and pointed at my throat, glad my idea could carry over to another conversation. “Can’t talk. Laryngitis.”

  “Then don’t talk. Listen. Did you hear who is coming tonight? Princess Elsa. She’s from that country that ceased to exist after…oh, I can’t remember what war. She’s still royalty, though. Her grandmother has insulted every royal in this room, and then some. Have you heard of her?”

  “Hmmm…” I squinted at the ceiling like I was trying to place her name, when really my insides were doing the chacha. Elsa? Here? I might meet a former client? How surreal would that be? Even more, what if she was here with Karl?

  Seriously, WHAT IF SHE WAS HERE WITH KARL?

  “She’s right over there.” The girl gave a discreet nod, and there was Elsa, dressed in a steel gray Empire-waisted gown, her blond hair wrapped in a loose bun. Disappointment punched me when I realized she was alone. No, it was good. No need to complicate the love triangle.

  Okay, Karl had no idea I existed, so it was more like a love line.

  “I can’t believe she came,” said the girl. “She’s pretty enough, but I doubt I’d join the scene if I had her grandmother’s reputation to live down. I can’t deci
de if she’s brave or stupid.”

  “She’s not stupid,” I said.

  “Wait, I thought you said your throat hurt.” Goldilocks scowled. “And how do you know her?”

  I coughed, making my voice scratchy. “She could be nice. I don’t know.”

  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Gavin approaching. Goldilocks was still blocking the door to the bathroom. I had nowhere to go. He bowed. “Ladies.”

  Goldilocks giggled. I swallowed.

  “Millie, may I grant upon you the the honor of dancing with me?”

  Grrrrrrrreat. I tapped on my throat.

  He shook his head.

  “The orphans will have to live with it if I get sick. Tonight, we dance!”

  Chapter

  8

  Gavin took my hand and led me to the floor. Like most everything in the time right before the French Revolution, the minuet is pure fluff. Lots of slow turns and twirls and bows and tiptoeing around. The styles then were not particularly masculine, and so it was far from attractive to see Gavin in his ghastly knickers (with bows, BOWS), his chest puffed out as he pranced around the floor.

  I did my best to concentrate on the steps I’d practiced over the summer. I was doing well enough until Elsa joined midway through. It was hard not to look at the girl I had pretended to be; but really, everyone in the room was watching her anyway. She moved through the steps with ease, like she’d always been in royal circles and not milking goats just last summer.

  We made eye contact once, when she caught me staring. Elsa narrowed her eyes like she was trying to place my face. The scrutiny shouldn’t have worried me—she wasn’t seeing my face, after all. But we were still linked in a weird way. Maybe that’s what she sensed.

  The costume didn’t help matters much. I might have looked like Millie on the outside, but my insides were still Desi. The hearty meal I’d indulged in with Genevieve did not go well with the tight dress. And Gavin was sweating. And he smelled like a hunting hound trapped in nylon. And did I mention the knicker bows?

  The music, thankfully, ended, and I turned to escape.

  “Another?” Gavin asked, his eyes bright.

  I tried to pull away from his firm grip. “Need to find my aunt.”

  “But when will we have the opportunity to dance again?”

  “Hopefully never.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Oh, um, it could be forever!”

  The next dance started, this time a bourrée, which was much more lively and quick. The splendor and sounds whirled around me. I felt like I was Donna Reed in It’s a Wonderful Life, except in Technicolor. Really bright Technicolor. Like, I-want-to-throw-up-now-the-lights-are-all-flashing Technicolor.

  The colors blurred into blackness. Not good. Not good AT ALL. I searched wildly and made eye contact with Elsa again. She broke away from her partner, rushed over, and hugged me. No, pretended to hug me. She was actually holding me up.

  “I’m sorry to interrupt your dance, but hi! I’m so happy to see you!”

  I was too busy inhaling air to ask how the heck Elsa knew Millie. Not only was this Elsa’s first royal event, but Goldilocks had made it clear that these two ran in very different circles.

  “Um, you too?”

  “Can I steal her away?” she asked Gavin. “It’s been so long, and I want to make sure we get a moment before the night ends.”

  Gavin didn’t answer at first, probably because he was too busy staring at Elsa in complete awe. “Of…of course. And I don’t believe we’ve been introduced. I would remember if we had.” He bowed. “I’m Lord Gavin.”

  Elsa gave a royal nod. “A pleasure, my lord. I am Princess Elsa of Holdenzastein.”

  “The pleasure is mine, Your Highness. All mine.” Gavin chortled.

  I choked back a laugh. What I wouldn’t give to tell Kylee about this clown.

  “Now, please pardon us.” Elsa squeezed my elbow. “I’ll return her later.”

  We wove back into the museum lobby and found a bench. The stars winked through the triangular windowpanes of the pyramid.

  “I hope that wasn’t presumptuous of me, but you looked like you needed some help in there. Here, I’ll get you some water.” Elsa left, returning with a tall glass. She waited until I was done gulping before she spoke. “I’m Elsa.”

  So they didn’t know each other. I dabbed at my forehead with Millie’s lacy handkerchief. “Millie. Well, Princess Millie.”

  Elsa’s face reddened. “I’m sorry. I’m not used to titles. I’m close enough to the royals I know that we don’t use them.”

  Close to the royals. Close to Prince Karl. The words sliced through me. I painted on a smile. “You saved me. You can call me whatever you want.”

  “Do you feel all right now?”

  “Yes. Corsets.”

  “Silliest invention ever. I cheated and went into the early nineteenth century with my costume.”

  “Your dress is gorgeous, by the way.”

  She fingered the fabric. “Thanks. My nana made it, actually. But if anyone else asks me the designer, I’ll make up someone that sounds really French.”

  I laughed. I liked her. She was how she seemed in her journal—down-to-earth. Funnier than I would have thought, and more assertive.

  “So who are the royals in your social circle? Any…cute boys?” I asked. I knew what her answer would be. I knew it would hurt to hear it. But I still had to ask.

  “Oh, just family.” Elsa’s voice was guarded. “This is one of my first events.”

  Was the cute-boy question too personal? I wanted Elsa to feel comfortable around me. Around Millie. Despite the two-year age difference, I could see them being friends. So I did what Millie did best: I chattered. “I’m traveling with my aunt this season. She’s big on keeping her schedule packed. It’s been fun, but these events can get old. Always having to be ON, you know? And some of the people are…well, you met Gavin.”

  “I’m sure he’s a nice enough boy, but…” Elsa shuddered. “Those bows on his pants were horrific.”

  “I had drama with him in the past. This girl at school told him that I liked him, so he went and blabbed that around and acted way better than me and…Sorry.” Wow, I was getting good at this rambling thing. “It’s a long story.”

  “Don’t worry about it. It’s nice to sit back and listen for a while. I’m on display tonight, what with this being a debut for me. I almost feel like it’s not real, you know? Like I’m only pretending to be someone else. Do you ever feel like that?”

  It’s in my job description. “I think that’s part of being royal. Putting on airs. Which is why I’m so grateful that you saved me from having to pretend to care what Gavin was saying.”

  “You can pay me back someday.” Elsa jumped up from the bench. “Now, speaking of putting on airs, I need to go talk to another of my nana’s enemies and try to repair old wounds. I hope we meet again, Princess Millie.”

  Elsa melted back into the throngs, smiling and chatting like she’d worked similar rooms million of times. I found Auntie Ostrich and stayed with her for the final hours of the party, gabbing to her friends about Millie’s frivolous life details (string beans are way better than peas!). The corset and constant conversation exhausted me, enough that I nearly cried tears of relief when my Rouge timer went off while Auntie Ostrich and I were in the hotel elevator, on the way up to our suite.

  “What’s that sound?” she asked.

  The timer hardly made a noise. It just vibrated. Sheesh, aren’t old people supposed to have hearing problems?

  “Nothing.” I clutched my purse tightly. “Must be my dress rustling.”

  The elevator door opened. Auntie’s bodyguard took her hand and helped her out. I ran over to the door of our penthouse suite, the only door on the floor.

  “Be patient,” she scolded me as the bodyguard slid the key into the lock. “Your anxiousness is hardly ladylike.”

  I could feel the corset loosening, which also meant the rouge was wea
ring off. My clock had struck midnight, and I had to get away from Auntie Ostrich before she saw me turn into a pumpkin.

  “I have to…I have to use the little princess room,” I said.

  Auntie Ostrich wrinkled her nose in disgust. “Gracious! Then hurry. Go change and wash up as well. And when you return, we must have a talk about your vulgarity.”

  I’m sure Millie wasn’t going to like her welcome-home lecture, but what could I do? I turned to my room.

  “Millie?” Auntie Ostrich paused. “Are you feeling well? You seem…well, you seem taller.”

  “I’m fine,” I replied, but Millie’s voice sounded too much like my own. I yanked open the door and locked it behind me. “Just had a long evening.” I called.

  The bubble was already waiting in Millie’s room. Auntie Ostrich pounded on the door. “Now you have me concerned. Did something make you ill?”

  I garbled a reply before sticking one leg into the bubble. The last thing I saw was another bubble nearby and the real Millie stepping out. She froze when she saw me. Who knows what she saw—half Desi, half her. I mouthed, “Pretend you’re sick,” before I disappeared into Meredith’s office.

  I better not have blown my cover in those last few moments. Sub Spottings are HUGE deals at Façade. I looked to Meredith, who sat at her desk, fuming.

  “Sit down,” she ordered.

  I sighed. Unlike Cinderella, it seemed I hadn’t made it out in time.

  Chapter

  9

  Meredith pounded her hand on the desk. “What do you have to say for yourself?”

  “I couldn’t get away! We’re lucky I didn’t start to transform in the elevator. Couldn’t you guys give me more notice? Millie told me not to get caught by her aunt, and now I’m sure—”

  “No one cares about that.”

  “I care! I was doing great before the Rouge wore off, and that’s saying a lot considering how stupid the whole thing was. Dumb paintings and corsets and silly dancing and—”

  “I’m not talking about your gig. You didn’t have a large overlap. You weren’t Sub Spotted.”