Four Letter Word

by J. Daniels

  “God,” I moaned, my head dropping back as he sucked on my nipple and around it, wetting my entire breast before moving to the other and teasing it unhurriedly with his tongue.

  His hand moved surely between my legs, slowly finger-fucking me, and I felt his grin against my neck when I started grinding my hips, down and out, chasing something I wasn’t sure I wanted to catch yet.

  This felt too good. Too perfect to end but it got better the closer I got, the faster I moved and his hand, God, his hand was so much better than my hand it was almost unfair.

  “Want you this gone when I fuck you,” Brian said against my ear, sliding his thumb over my clit until I shook and gripped at his shoulders. “The whole time. So close I can feel your heartbeat right here like I do now.”

  Sweet Jesus. I was going to pass out.

  “Okay,” I breathed, licking my lips anxiously. “Not a problem, but can we get to the fucking now?”

  He leaned back to look at me, eyes heavy and heated and lowering to my mouth.

  “I should get something,” he said, and I knew he was talking about a condom.

  My legs tensed. I shook my head.

  I was fucking crazy.

  “Don’t. I…I wanna feel you. It’s okay.”

  I felt his body stiffen.

  “Fuck,” he rasped, looking into my eyes again. “You have any idea what you fucking do to me, Wild? Do you even have a clue?”

  “I, I think so. I…” My breath caught with a moan when Brian moved his hand out from between my legs to the back of my thigh, where he gripped and lifted, sliding his hold to my knee as it wrapped around his hip.

  He slid closer, dipped until I felt his cock glide through my wet and waited.

  “What, babe? Finish telling me.”

  I bit my lip.

  God, he was right there, teasing me, killing me, owning me.

  “Wild,” he urged.

  The tip of his cock pressed hard against my clit.

  I opened my mouth with a gasp and squirmed in his arms.

  “I make you insane,” I told him, quietly, shyly, as my body did the opposite and pushed out, silently begging for it.

  “Yeah,” he murmured, low and dark in his throat. He kissed the corner of my mouth, his breath hot and wanting when he asked, “Know why you know?”

  I did. I knew, but I still probed.

  “Why?”

  Brian moved his hand between us, positioned his cock and slid in slowly, stretching me on a groan as my mouth fell open and my body shook in pure, perfect bliss.

  “Oh, fuck,” I whimpered.

  “’Cause I make you insane, too,” he answered finally, the answer I knew already in my heart, then pushed in the rest of the way and did it roughly, jarring my body and filling me with every inch of him, sliding out then slamming back in, over and over.

  It was all I needed. It was everything I needed.

  It was beautiful.

  It was us.

  And he was mine.

  “Oh, God, yes. Fuck me,” I cried out, grabbing on to his face and pulling it to me so I could suck that sweet, full bottom lip into my mouth, my other leg hitching up to his waist on its own but then being held there when he clutched on to it and rammed me hard and fast, driving my back into the post.

  The wood scratched and burned my skin but I didn’t care, and honestly, it felt good.

  Everything felt good.

  Every throb, every pull, every pinch or bite of flesh.

  I’d never been fucked like this, pounded into with such raw, shocking, beautiful force my teeth chattered and pieces of my soul broke off, reaching out and seeking the very person I was clinging to. Plus, Brian was bigger than Marcus, thicker and longer by what felt like a mile. I wasn’t used to someone this size, but I was so wet and hot and ready, he made sure of that, and with each thrust I grew not only accustomed to Brian’s cock but tighter around him, building to that perfect point of madness without any trying on my part.

  Everything he gave, I took, and I did it begging.

  I was his girl.

  “More,” I whimpered. “Please. Please…oh, God, please.”

  I took his thrusts and his hands bruising as he fucked harder, giving me it all.

  Out. In. Out. In.

  Harder…

  Harder…

  God…

  My breath hitched.

  “Fuck, you’re right there, Wild,” Brian said, brushing my hair out of my face and kissing me deep. “I’ve got you,” he whispered. “I’ve had you, Syd. Let go.”

  He had me.

  Even when he was Wes, he had me.

  One last swipe of my tongue against Brian’s and I cried out, head snapping back and eyes rolling, every muscle in my body tightening as I came apart and exploded in his arms, feeling weighted and weightless at the same time.

  Feeling everything, all because it was Brian and he was giving it to me.

  And I fell, knowing he was catching me.

  There wasn’t anything more beautiful than that.

  Him and me.

  He kept it up, hips pumping faster and his noises growing louder and deeper as my world drifted back together and I opened my eyes.

  I knew Brian was close. I could feel it in the way his breathing changed against my cheek and his hands and fingers on my skin repositioned then gripped, readying to pull back and out.

  “Don’t,” I pleaded, tightening my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck.

  Brian leaned back, straining. “I’m gonna come.”

  “I know. Do it.”

  His eyes flashed.

  Crazy.

  Beautiful.

  Gone.

  I pulled him back and kissed him as he poured himself inside me, stilling as deep as he could go and holding it there, jerking between my legs and moaning into my mouth, then changing the kiss to something soft and sweet and quiet, no tongue, only lips and panting breaths.

  Something like a first kiss.

  He gave it to me slow and shy, maybe knowing deep down I’d imagined this moment with him a thousand times and a thousand different ways in my head and wanting to give that to me, or maybe needing it himself.

  It didn’t matter and I didn’t ask because it was perfect.

  And you don’t question perfect moments. You let them happen.

  So I did.

  Only when the kiss broke naturally did I move my hand to his cheek and pull back an inch, looking into his eyes.

  He looked back.

  We stared, breaths catching and eyes capturing.

  “Hey,” I said shakily.

  He licked his lips.

  “Hey.”

  “It’s so good to meet you.” I closed my eyes at how stupid that sounded. “Uh, I mean, officially anyway. Sorry. That was dumb.”

  His chest shook with a soundless chuckle.

  “Nah, it was cute,” he said, his arms giving me a squeeze.

  I opened my eyes and smiled.

  “I can’t believe we’re at the same party.” I laughed a little. “Seriously, what are the odds. It’s crazy enough you’re in Dogwood.”

  “I live here.”

  I tilted my head.

  “Here…Dogwood?”

  He lifted me off his cock and lowered me to my feet, saying, “Here, this house. I live here.”

  I blinked up at him.

  Holy…

  “You’re Jamie’s roommate?” I asked.

  Oh, my God. He knew! That’s why he told me to go find Brian. He knew I was the girl his roommate was messed up over.

  I could kill him. And hug him for not saying anything. I wasn’t sure I would’ve reacted to seeing Brian the same way I did if I’d have known he was here before I found out on my own.

  And I really liked the reaction I had and what followed.

  Brian bent down and snatched up our clothes, handing me my items before shaking the sand off his shorts.

  “Yeah,” he answered, looking into my face to state, �
��And you don’t recognize me.”

  It took me a second to understand what he was saying as I stepped into my panties and slid them up my legs while he pulled on his boxers and shorts, then I remembered his question before we attacked each other, a question I didn’t really think about at the time, but now that I was thinking about it, I got what he was asking and why he was asking it.

  It hit me.

  “It was you,” I said quietly, watching his chest puff out with an inhale and his body grow stiff. “At the Corvette that day. When Jamie sliced those tires, it was you by his Jeep, wasn’t it? I saw you.”

  Brian visibly relaxed, then nodded.

  “Did you know it was me?”

  “Not until you called me that night,” he replied, pulling his shirt over his head. “Couldn’t fuckin’ believe it either.” His eyes moved between the pants in my one hand and my bra and hoodie in the other, then rose to mine. “You gonna get dressed?”

  “Why didn’t you say anything if you knew it was me?” I questioned, keeping hold of my clothes instead of putting them on. “And why did you get so angry when I sent you that photo? You knew I was here. You’d sort of seen me already.”

  He scrubbed a hand down his face.

  I stepped closer, getting ready to ask something else or plead for an answer, when he spoke, head down and voice quiet.

  And what he said changed everything.

  “Gone for you fast, Wild,” he began. “Can’t explain it. Don’t know how it happened or what it was about you specifically that got to me, but you fuckin’ got to me, babe, and it was good. Best I’d felt in a long time, maybe ever. Didn’t want to risk anything messing that kind of perfection up. It was too good the way we had it, your voice in my ear, what you’d give me every time we spoke. I was living for that.”

  Oh, God.

  I was wrong. His reason totally mattered and I completely understood it.

  He lifted his head to look at me.

  I could barely see him, my eyes were flooding fast with emotion, but I heard and registered his sudden movement then felt his hand on my face and the other on my hip, pulling me close.

  “Wild,” he whispered, thumb catching a tear.

  “It—it was perfect!” I cried out, agreeing, letting it all go and clutching at him with my head tipping forward and dropping on his chest. “I don’t know how either, Brian. I don’t understand what it was about you, but since that first day, that first text you sent me, it was perfect and everything I needed and you knew.” I lifted my head to look at him. “You just knew the right things to say and the right times to call. You healed me. You didn’t know it but you did!”

  “You were healing me, too, babe.”

  Oh…God.

  I started crying harder.

  His lips touched the top of my head, and his breath fluttered as he chuckled.

  “Healing me is a good thing, Syd. You know that, right?”

  “I know,” I whispered between sniffles.

  “Then why are you crying?”

  “Because that’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever said to me!” I explained, blinking away my tears. “And I’m mostly naked and feeling vulnerable right now, plus, we’ve just had the best sex of my life and I’m still processing all of that, and also”—I got on my toes and pressed closer to stress—“I’ve just really really missed you. This is a lot to handle all at once.”

  His mouth jerked with a smile.

  “Missed you too,” he said. “Past two days have been Hell.”

  I nodded in agreement, grabbed his face with both of my hands, inhaled deep, then spoke.

  “I learned after losing my brother that you shouldn’t wait to tell someone something you’re really feeling, that you never know how much time you have with them, and in a second, they could be gone and you regret everything you never told them.”

  His eyes held mine, sure and steady. He didn’t even blink.

  I swallowed and continued on.

  “That being said, I know what happened between us happened fast and it happened in a way neither one of us can explain, and at the start of it, I wasn’t even legally separated from my husband.”

  His jaw flexed under my palm.

  “Which, by the way, has changed,” I assured him. “I signed the papers today and they’re going out Monday. In the eyes of the law, I am now legally separated and free of Marcus.”

  “That’s good, babe,” he told me.

  “Thank you. I agree,” I said, pulling my bottom lip into my mouth and sucking on it while I stared up at him.

  He quirked an eyebrow.

  “Thought you were leading up to telling me something with that speech, Syd.”

  I released my lip.

  “I was. I’m just…wondering if now is the best time to say it.”

  “This ain’t a good time?”

  I looked down at myself, then back up at him.

  “Well, I am naked. Mostly.” I glared at his tear-soaked shirt, then wiped my hand across his chest, hoping the friction would dry it while I muttered, “And I totally cried all over you. I’m sorry.”

  “Wouldn’t be the first time.”

  Hand stilling, I lifted my head and tilted it.

  “Mm?”

  He smiled.

  “Nothing.” He bent and gave me a soft kiss. “You won’t? I’ll say it.”

  I gasped against his mouth, watched him lean back an inch and slid my other hand to his chest to join the one I already had pressing there.

  “Told you I was gone for you,” Brian started. “Think you know what that meant. Think you might be feeling me the same way and that’s what you were wanting to tell me.” He ran his thumb along my jaw down to my neck. “Am I right?”

  I nodded. “Yes.”

  “Good,” he said, smiling. “That’s ours, Wild. What we have, how we build on it, and I don’t give a fuck if it makes sense or not. It was fast but I don’t care. People might not get it like we do but again”—he dipped closer—“I do not fuckin’ care. What I do care about is you, everything that involves you, and right now, getting you covered up enough so I can get you inside to my room and into my bed where I’ve dreamed about getting you, and straight up, Syd, in case you didn’t know, I’ve dreamed about it a lot.”

  My eyes were round, had been since Brian said what we had was ours.

  I liked knowing something was ours.

  I liked it a lot.

  I also was as anxious as he was to get me into his bed.

  “I’ve dreamed about it, too,” I admitted softly, watching his smile reappear.

  It was beautiful and something I wanted to stare at and study for hours, but first I needed to put on pants.

  I went about doing that and doing it quickly, letting Brian help me when he insisted on sliding my leggings up and over my ass, taking that hands-free moment to wipe at my face with my hoodie sleeve before slipping my bra on, Brian also helping with that, and finally, pulling my hoodie over my head.

  I tugged awkwardly at the hood strings as I stepped into my flip-flops.

  “I wasn’t coming here to impress anyone so I just wore this,” I told Brian, feeling the need to explain my wardrobe selection. “I normally dress a little nicer.”

  He finished tying his shoe, stood, and looked me over, slow and purposefully.

  “You’re beautiful,” he said, green eyes sweet and filled with honesty.

  I really didn’t want to, but damn it, I couldn’t help it.

  Head falling into my hands, I burst into tears again.

  His arms curled around me and drew me close as his lips pressed to my hair.

  “Didn’t know my girl was so sensitive to compliments,” he said, laughter touching his voice.

  His girl.

  My chest warmed as it continued vibrating with my cries.

  I took several minutes to collect myself, wrapped up in Brian’s arms while I did it.

  Then I let my boy lead me back to the party.

  Chapter Th
irteen

  BRIAN

  I walked with Sydney tucked against my side down the sandy path that led to the house, my arm over her shoulder, keeping her close, and her arm around my waist, pressing closer.

  Even when we took the stairs to get up to the deck, we stayed like that.

  I wasn’t pulling away and neither was she. I’d waited too damn long for this moment.

  Way too damn long. And I never thought I’d get it.

  Knowing that, I held on tighter.

  Nothing else mattered but this girl. Nothing. And I was planning on keeping her by my side for as long as I could.

  I’d been close to beating the shit outta Jamie for going through with tonight, so close I had to step outside, get away from all the motherfuckers filling my house and get some air, hoping to do it alone but gaining Cole’s attention when I slipped out; and getting locked into a conversation on the beach I didn’t fucking feel like having.

  I just wanted to be left alone so I caved. Figured telling him would get him off my back. Also figured I could talk about Syd, brief as fuck, then drop it. I wouldn’t think about her again the rest of the night.

  I was delusional.

  And she was there. Right fucking there, listening and looking at me, really looking at me, and I didn’t know what she was seeing—Dash or me. She wasn’t speaking and I had no idea how to interpret that.

  Wild typically spoke a lot.

  Then when I was close to losing my fucking mind, she launched into my arms, giving me that sweet mouth and wild pussy and I took it.

  All of it.

  I was gone for this girl before I came inside her. Now I didn’t know what the fuck I was but it was more than gone. Way past it. There was no going back to what we had before.

  Then we talked and even that surprised me. I wasn’t sure how it was all going to go down, but this was Syd and she deserved answers. Knew she’d want to know my why and I didn’t want to hurt her.

  I would never fucking hurt her. I’d die first.

  That’s how far past gone I was.

  And her knowing what I’d been doing before we had whatever the fuck it was we had could hurt her, in some way or another, so I gave her my why and it was nothing short of the truth.