Catnip & Curses (The Faerie Files Book 2)

by Emigh Cannaday

“Don’t worry about me, Dad. How are you?””

  “Argh, I’m fine. Just fine.”

  “You had a heart attack, Dad. How are you fine?”

  He paused for a second then mumbled something to Ellen. When he came back on the line, his voice had changed. It was more serious, almost guilty.

  “Listen, Logan. Now that Ellen’s out the room, I can tell you. I didn’t have a heart attack.”

  “What?”

  “I did not have a heart attack, Logan.”

  He let out an exasperated sigh and I imagined him doing what he always did when he was annoyed. Pinching the bridge of his nose and clamping his eyes shut.

  “The truth is . . . the truth is I slipped on dog shit.”

  “Huh?”

  “Yeah, I was taking the trash out and I stepped funny on a strategically placed dog turd and fell on my ass. I’d had a few beers, so I couldn’t get up right away. I just lay there on the ground, thinking how pathetic my life was. And then about two freakin’ seconds later, Ellen comes skipping out of her house next door, looking all cute and shit and sees me lying there on the ground. I guess I panicked.”

  “You panicked, so you told her you had a heart attack?”

  “Not exactly. I was so embarrassed. I mean, Ellen’s beautiful. I’ve had a thing for her for years.”

  “Seriously, Dad? You never told me any of this!”

  “Hey, I didn’t realize I was obligated to tell you about every pretty lady I’ve ever met.”

  “I’m so fucking confused right now.”

  “Like I said, I was embarrassed. So I told her I was lying there because I wasn’t feeling so great. I clutched my chest for, I dunno, dramatic effect or some shit, and she starts panicking. Called an ambulance before I could stop her and told them I was having a heart attack!”

  “Dad . . . ” I trailed off, shaking my head, but grateful to know he wasn’t on death’s door. “Why didn’t you just tell her you slipped and fell?”

  “Because . . . because . . . oh, I don’t really know. I guess I didn’t want her to think I was some old fart who wasn’t even capable of taking the trash out.”

  “So she now thinks you’re just an old fart who had a heart attack on his driveway while taking out the trash. I suppose that’s way more attractive.”

  “Yeah, well, the joke’s on me. I’m stuck in the hospital and I’ve had about a dozen tests so far, even though I feel fine. But my wallet won’t look too good when this is all said and done.”

  “Oh Dad . . . you’re an idiot.”

  “I know, Logan. Believe me—I know. I’m just a sucker for a pretty lady. And Ellen’s about as sweet as they get. When you’re back in town we’ll have to have dinner together so you can get to know her better.”

  There was a built-in planter overflowing with flowers on the side of the stairs. A long bench ran alongside it. I sat down and let out a sigh of relief. Not only was my dad in good health, but it sounded like he’d actually met someone nice; the girl next door. I was happy for him.

  He laughed, his chuckle turning into an old man’s splutter.

  “Dad?”

  “Yeah.”

  “If you’ve had feelings for Ellen all this time, why haven’t you mentioned her until now?”

  “You know why. I didn’t want you to think I was betraying the memory of your mom.”

  “I wouldn’t think that. I don’t want you to be alone forever. I want you to be happy. I think it’s nice that you like someone who obviously cares about you.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah.”

  “You’re not mad?”

  “No, Dad. I think it’s great.”

  I watched as bees and butterflies fluttered from one flower to the next. They went about their business like I wasn’t even there. At one point, a butterfly landed on my rolled-up shirtsleeve, studying me as if wondering if I was a flower or another pollinator of some kind.

  “So . . . ?” I teased. “Does she like you back?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Well, if she’s been staying with you in the hospital, she probably likes you as more than a friend. She sounded so worried about you last night.”

  “She did?”

  “Yeah, she sounded scared.”

  “Really?” he asked, his voice rising with excitement. “Then maybe there’s a chance she does like me as more than a friend.”

  “It sure sounds that way. But you can’t win if you don’t play the game.”

  He laughed again. “Thanks for the dating advice. Speaking of that, are you seeing anyone?”

  My voice caught in my throat and I felt the back of my neck get warm. How was I supposed to answer that question?

  “Ehh, things aren’t so great at work lately. I can’t afford to get distracted right now,” I managed to say.

  “Maybe that’s exactly what you need right now,” Dad replied. I broke out into a nervous sweat, grateful he couldn’t see my face, because I’m sure it was turning bright red.

  Twelve hours earlier I’d been having dinner and drinks with Elena . . . stealing a look at her amazing rack every chance I got . . . biting my lip when she dropped her napkin and leaned down to get it . . . and then kissing her . . . tasting her . . . burying myself inside of her. She was so comfortable in her own skin, whether she was fully dressed or buck naked. She laughed like no one could hear her. And she fucked like she could never be satisfied. I was better off not knowing how incredible she felt in my arms, wrapped around me, straddling me, because now it was all I could think about.

  “Logan? You still there?”

  “Huh? Oh, yeah.” Just then, the Tahoe pulled into the parking lot and Elena, Kozlov, and Johnson climbed out, each of them carrying a bag, a box, and a four-pack of coffees. Under any other circumstances, it would’ve been a beautiful sight to behold.

  “Hey Dad, I’m glad you’re doing alright. My partner just showed up so I better get back to it.”

  “Alright. I’ll let you know when I’m home.”

  Slipping my phone into my pocket, I tried to gauge my partner’s body language. To my confusion, it looked like she’d gone to some kind of team-building bootcamp with Kozlov and Johnson and came back as actual friends. It seemed that they genuinely liked each other.

  But that couldn’t be right, could it? Maybe the Valium hadn’t quite worn off yet.

  Until now, Elena couldn’t bear to be within ten feet of Johnson, and Kozlov only stayed off her shit list because she never had much to say. But now the three of them were swanning up the steps, chatting nonstop like the weirdest clique of high schoolers.

  “How’d you sleep, Hawthorne?” Johnson asked with a confident grin.

  I was dumbfounded.

  What happened to him in the last eight hours?

  I realized it was the first time I’d seen him smile, and it confused me. “It’s great to see you awake,” he beamed. Everything about the guy was lighter and happier. He looked about ten years younger, and the stick up his ass appeared to be missing.

  “I was really worried about you,” said Elena, giving me a curious once-over. “I thought you’d never wake up.”

  Although Johnson looked like he’d been transformed into a glowing younger version of himself, I could not say the same for Elena. She looked like she hadn’t slept in weeks. And although she was happy and smiling, she seemed ready to fall face first onto the table.

  “Are you okay?” I asked her.

  “I’m fine.”

  “You look . . . tired.”

  On cue, she yawned and rubbed her eyes.

  “Fuck yeah I’m tired. None of us slept last night, besides you.”

  Elena looked so fragile as she stood there in her hot pink heels and the t-shirt and jacket that she’d pulled over her low-cut dress. Her hair was a tangled mess of bobby pins and strands falling out of the huge bun that was now leaning off to one side.

  “Logan? Did you hear me?”

  “Huh?” I brought my focus back
to Elena’s eyes and her mouth.

  “I said we brought you an Americano, if you want it.” She handed me a cup while Kozlov cautiously brought over the box for me to take a closer look. For being so big and imposing, she sure seemed scared of me.

  “There’s some long John’s and bear claws in here,” she explained with a repentant half-smile.

  “And I’ve got some gruyere and prosciutto scones,” Johnson said, giving the bag a little jostle.

  “Give him a scone,” Elena said, watching me with concern in her face. Johnson handed one over, then he and his partner headed back inside the precinct.

  “You didn’t get any sleep at all, did you?” Elena asked while sitting down on the bench next to me. “You look like you had another dream.”

  “It was the worst one yet,” I said, and took a sip of the Americano. It was like a warm, weighted blanket for my insides. It was so familiar, so comforting. Usually my dreams started to fade right after waking up, but I felt trapped in this one. I could still smell the burned candlewicks in the air, the flowers around the room, and the moss that covered the stone walls. I could still hear the voice of the blue hand ringing in my ears. I could still feel that lethal grip around my tiny, helpless infant body.

  Instinctively, I held a panicked hand to my chest and sucked in breath, feeling grateful that my lungs weren’t being crushed.

  “I need a shower,” I blurted out. “Do you mind if I go back to the hotel?”

  “Let me drop these off first,” she said, motioning to the cardboard tray of coffee. “And then I’ll drive you.”

  14

  Elena

  For the entire ride back to the hotel, Logan leaned close to the passenger side window, staring at the sky. He may have been out cold for a solid eight hours, but he looked like total shit.

  At least now I knew why.

  “What’s going on with you and Johnson? The two of you looked like freakin’ BFFs back there. Kozlov seems terrified of me.”

  I sighed and leaned back against the car seat. We’d pulled up at a red light that felt as though it had kept us waiting for hours.

  “Katrina’s scared you’re going to report her for mixing up the Valium doses.”

  “Oh, please. Did you tell her about Sylvia’s moonshine?”

  “I sure did.”

  “What about Johnson? He’s like a totally different person.”

  “I gave Carl a little energy boost, so to speak,” I said with a yawn, still unable to shake the effects of the night before.

  “Energy boost?”

  “Do you remember when I came out to you as a faerie and I brought that smooshed dandelion back to life?”

  “Yeah. You did that to Johnson?”

  “Basically,” I said with another yawn. When I’d told Johnson I was going to be exhausted after healing him, I wasn’t joking. I was ready to crawl into bed and sleep for a week. “But, you know, there’s a bit of a difference between a dandelion and a human. It took a lot out of me. I probably shouldn’t be driving.”

  “Now you tell me?” he smirked as our hotel came into view.

  “Hey, I might be exhausted, but my brain still works. I’m more than just a pretty face,” I joked.

  “I never doubted that for a second.”

  It was such a sweet thing to say . . . and so awkward to hear after everything that had gone on between us.

  “Any news about your dad?” I asked, desperate to change the subject.

  “Yeah. Apparently it wasn’t a heart attack. He just slipped and fell, but he was too embarrassed to say that to the neighbor lady, so she assumed the worst and called an ambulance.”

  “Aww, that’s good to hear.” The road that led to our hotel was lined with sandy, gravelly soil, and lots of sagebrush and tall cacti. Mountains stretched out in a backdrop that pointed toward the city. In the distance they were blue, and the one closest to us loomed high in the sky in a very blah shade of brown.

  “Turns out that the only thing he hurt was his pride,” Logan said as I pulled into the hotel parking lot. He finished the last of his Americano and shoved it into the nearest recycle bin once we stepped into the lobby.

  We headed for the elevator, me clutching my purse and the little bag of goodies I’d picked up when Carl and Katrina were placing our coffee order. I heard Logan sniff. Then he sniffed again.

  “What’s that smell?

  “Dude, there’s a lot of smells in here right now,” I replied. I was pretty sure he didn’t want to know how in-depth my olfactory report would be if he gave me the chance.

  “It smells like weed.” He looked down at me and frowned. “Did you buy a sack of weed? Or maybe some fucking weed scones?” He frowned even more. “Is that why you told Carl to give me one instead of a bear claw? So you and your new buddies could mess with my head even more?”

  I raised my palm, signaling for him to stop talking.

  “Hold that thought. First of all, I know you don’t like sugary food for breakfast. That’s why I told Carl to give you the savory scone instead of the bear claw. Second of all, no, I did not go out and score a bag of weed. There’s a pet boutique right by the coffee shop and the bakery, so I got Lafayette about ten different catnip toys and catnip treats and a little sampler of fresh-cut catnip from the owner’s garden. And third, I don’t enjoy seeing you knocked out cold. You’re a big fucker, Mister Wide Receiver. Do you have any idea how hard it is to move your body?”

  The elevator doors parted and I stepped out first.

  “I’m going to shower and try to take a nap, but I’ll leave my phone on in case you need me.”

  “Okay.”

  “And Logan?”

  “Yeah?” I caught him just before he slipped into his room, which was mere steps away from mine.

  “I’m really glad your dad’s alright.”

  He glanced at his feet and then gave me a soft smile.

  “Thanks, Elena. I appreciate it.”

  I’d showered and changed into clean clothes, but I was having the worst time falling asleep. I couldn’t believe it. Why had it been so easy to doze off in the uncomfortable chairs in the police station break room? Why was it so impossible, now that I was sprawled across my huge king-sized bed? In the last half hour, all I’d done was stare at the ceiling.

  I might’ve been fae, but I was still addicted to my phone like every other person I knew. I grabbed it from the nightstand and shot out a message to the only person that I really gave a shit about.

  Are you awake?

  It took Logan a few minutes to respond.

  I was just about to order room service.

  Aw, man. That sounded so good right now. No wonder I couldn’t fall asleep. I was probably hungry. I wondered if he’d wanna eat together like we usually did when we were on a case.

  But that was in the Before Times. As in, before I’d boned my partner. Maybe I should back off; try and give him some space. Maybe he didn’t wanna keep fucking around, as he’d called it. I was mentally spinning around in circles when my phone beeped again.

  Wanna come over? I know you’re hungry.

  You’re always hungry.

  I was in his room five minutes later.

  Logan looked better, but not back to normal. His eyes were tired, yet anxious, and a clean shirt and a close shave wasn’t going to hide the fact.

  “Lafayette, I brought you something,” I said, trying not to stare too much at my partner. Digging into the bag from the pet boutique, I set a few of the catnip-stuffed toys on the edge of the small table in the room. Lafayette’s little black ears perked right up.

  “What did you bring me?” he asked, staring at the table from the floor.

  “There’s no way to know,” I snarked back. He glared his green eyes at me, swished his tail once, and then leapt onto the table to sniff the curious objects.

  “It’s shaped like a mouse, but it doesn’t smell like a mouse,” he noted, tilting his head to one side as he pawed it gently. Then he batted it onto the
floor, staring at it. “Why did you bring me counterfeit mice?”

  “They’re full of catnip.”

  A fluffy black tail swished from one side to the other. Then I took out the little cluster of fresh cut herbs from the boutique owner’s garden. Lafayette’s eyes widened as I put it on the table with the toys.

  “You can stay.”

  While he was busy with his kitty drugs, Logan and I placed an order with room service.

  “Wake me up if I fall asleep,” Logan said, lying back into his pillows.

  “How can you still be tired?” I asked from the edge of the bed. “You were unconscious for eight hours.”

  “Doesn’t mean I got any actual sleep,” he clarified.

  “Did you have another dream about Little Niklas?” I asked, trying to be careful about my wording, my tone, my everything.

  “It wasn’t about Niklas,” he said after a long pause. “I was him. I was Niklas.”

  He held out his hands in front of himself then looked down at his bare feet.

  “I’m starting to think I am him. That’s how it feels. Even now, I still feel like I’m half here and half in my dream.”

  “You’ve been having those dreams for a while now,” Lafayette said. “You wake up tired and you’re always cranky. You should see a hypnotherapist.”

  My jaw fell.

  “That’s what I’ve been telling him!” I practically shouted. “I even found a guy right here in Mariposa who does it! We could call him right now!”

  “I doubt he’s available on short notice,” Logan said.

  “There’s no way to know,” Lafayette snarked back. Clever. Real clever.

  “Logan, you’re kind of a mess right now. You haven’t had a decent night’s sleep in weeks. It’s time to sort this out,” I told him, then fetched my phone from my purse. “You can’t keep going on like this. I’m calling Patrick.”

  “Who’s Patrick?”

  “Patrick Hernandez,” I said, bring up the website I’d found for him. “Alright, let’s see . . . no, we don’t need help with smoking or weight loss. Ah, here it is. Stress and anxiety.”