90s Girl

by Mia Archer

  It was impossible.

  "Are you crazy?” she asked.

  "Please. Humor me. Can you tell me who the president is?"

  George scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Someone's been watching a little too much Back to the Future!"

  I turned back to George. "Okay. How many years has it been since Back to the Future came out?"

  "It's practically brand-new!" he said.

  "Hardly," Jenny said. Then she looked back at me and said something that had my knees shaking. "Bush is president. Why?"

  A wave of dizziness hit me, and I wondered if it had something to do with the probable concussion I'd suffered. A concussion was the only explanation for why the world had suddenly gone crazy.

  “The first one or the second one?” I asked.

  I knew it was a silly question. Either Bush being president meant I’d been thrown back in time, but one wouldn’t be quite as extreme as the other at least.

  “Um, there’s only the one?” Jenny said.

  My eyes went for a roll into the back of my head. It had to be that hit on my head. That was the only rational explanation for all this craziness.

  Stars danced in front of my eyes and then I sort of fell forward and the world went black for a little while.

  10

  All A Dream

  Bright spinning lights. I blinked a couple of times and wondered if I'd died and gone to heaven. I didn’t think heaven would look like the inside of an old timey disco, but that’s what I was looking at.

  Heaven. Angels. I'd seen an angel. Very recently, too. Why did I have that feeling? I squeezed my eyes shut, but those spinning lights kept right on spinning on the inside of my eyelids.

  What the hell was going on with me? What hell happened? What…

  It all hit me. Going to the skating rink with my friends. Going into the dance studio. The exploding lights. Coming out on the other side of a time warp that I'm pretty sure actually was a time warp and not just a song that got all the drama kids out on the floor at school dances.

  I opened my eyes again. I needed to see whether or not I was still inside this impossible fever dream. Concussion dream. Whatever the fuck it was. People didn't travel back in time, but people did get head injuries all the time.

  I hadn't even stepped into a DeLorean, a police box, or a phone booth!

  Only when I looked up George and Jenny stood over me looking very concerned. I shook my head to try and clear it, and realized some of the lights that’d been dancing in front of my eyes were from whatever had happened after I passed out, and not from the disco lights flashing all around us.

  "I think she's coming around," George said.

  Okay then. I went through all my options. Obviously time travel wasn't possible, so that left a head injury as the most rational explanation. That bump on the back of my head must’ve done a lot more damage than I thought it had.

  I groaned. Groaning felt good. It didn't actually do anything, but for some reason my head seemed to clear up a little when I did that.

  "Are you okay?" Jenny asked.

  I snorted, but that snort hurt. It was like an ice pick to the brain. No, a bunch of ice picks to the brain.

  "I don't see what's so funny about this," Jenny snapped.

  How to explain it to her? She’d just used the line George McFly used to make sure his future wife was okay after he'd punched out Biff. Fucking time travel references all around me.

  That or I was just a little too pop culturally aware, and that was being fed into my concussion fantasy. Then again who in my generation wasn't?

  "I think I'm going to be fine," I said, trying to sit up.

  I regretted that as soon as I did it. Things went spinning again, but it wasn't nearly as bad as before. After all, I figured if I was in some sort of concussion dream then I could probably lucid dream this motherfucker.

  "Look at my eyes," Jenny said.

  There was an order I didn’t have any trouble following. She had beautiful eyes. The kind of deep eyes I could lose myself in.

  "Now look up at that light overhead," she said.

  I looked at the disco ball rotating over the skating rink. She pulled my head towards a fluorescent light overhead.

  "That light. Not the disco ball," she hissed.

  "Ow!" I said, squeezing my eyes shut to shut out the light. "That light is bright! It fucking hurts!"

  "Good," Jenny said. "Now open your eyes and look into it."

  "Fine," I grumbled, opening my eyes.

  It's not like the light was even all that bright. It was just that in comparison to the otherwise dim rink, the fluorescent lights dividing the skating rink from the arcade might as well be the sun.

  Jenny let out a relieved sigh. I'm not sure why she should sigh in relief. After all, she wasn't the one suffering from a concussion that’d sent her back in time, or whatever the fuck was going on here.

  "No concussion," she said.

  I blinked. Stared at her. I mean obviously she was still there right in front of me, so that meant the concussion had to still be working its dark magic on my head for all she said I didn’t have a concussion. Could a figment of my imagination brought on by a concussion diagnose me as not having a concussin?

  It was all too fucking confusing. If these figments of my imagination were still here then the concussion had to still be here. It was an elegant bit of logic.

  "Seriously," I said. "I just had a little bit of a shock there."

  "Because Bush is president?" Jenny asked. “I mean I thought Dukakis really had a chance, but I guess everyone who isn’t dying from AIDS is still busy sucking old Ronnie’s metaphorical cock at the voting booth and…”

  “If you’re into presidents and dick sucking just wait until you see what’s coming, literally,” I muttered.

  “What?” Jenny asked.

  “And if you think the first Bush was bad, just wait for the second," I said with a grin, my mind finally catching up with what was happening and having a little bit of fun with it.

  After all, if this was all a dream, and I knew it was all a dream, then why not have a little bit of fun with a scenario that would otherwise be a nightmare?

  For all that my mom had talked about the early ‘90s like it was the most wonderful time ever, I knew it hadn't been all that great. Particularly for people like me. I also knew that the intervening twenty years or so would be filled with some not so great shit for all that everyone seemed to talk about the ‘90s like they were the best thing that ever happened.

  Then again, if there was a girl like Jenny who was there with me through some of that shit…

  No. This was just a dream. Even Jenny being in a dream made sense. I had the hots for that lady working at the skate rental, and so my mind had taken her image and given me a younger version of her. One that would’ve been about my age in the early ‘90s. The math made sense.

  "Are you sure you don't want to maybe go to the emergency room or something?" Jenny asked.

  "Hell no!" I said.

  If I was going to be having a lucid dream with a pretty ‘90s girl then the last thing I wanted was to waste all that lucid dreaming time on a boring ‘90s ER. Especially when I didn't know how they treated people back then. Knowing my luck they’d probably strap me to a gurney, give me a couple shots of whiskey, put a stick of wood in my mouth, and try to amputate whatever ailed me.

  "I'm not sure if we should listen to her," George said.

  "I'm seriously fine," I said. "No ancient witch doctors for me, thank you very much."

  "What the hell are you talking about?" Jenny asked.

  "Don't you worry about it," I said. "I came here to have a good time, and I intend to have a good time, damn it. I’m not letting some potential concussion ruin that!"

  “But I’m pretty sure you don’t have a concussion,” Jenny said.

  “Says the girl who is a figment of my imagination because of that concussion,” I said with a wink.

  She gave me an even weirder look. Lik
e she was sure I’d gone insane or something. I wasn’t entirely sure I hadn’t gone insane, but I was having a good time with this, damn it.

  “Come on,” I said. “I want to have a good time here tonight. That’s what’s going to make me feel better. So why don’t you come up with something that’s going to help me have a good time?”

  Jenny looked out to the skating rink and then back to me. Then she looked to George as though she thought he was going to be some help.

  “Don’t look at me,” he said. “If she’s going to be pigheaded and risk her health I’m not going to try and stop her.”

  Jenny sighed. “You really should get checked out, but I guess we could go for a skate or something if you insist on acting like an idiot.”

  I looked out at the rink. Thought about what’d happened the last time I went out there. I just wasn’t all that great with old fashioned skates that were essentially hunks of plastic wheels that made me want to go in one direction while my body was reacting like it did when I was using in-line skates which wasn’t good.

  But that was in the real world. I figured if I was in a dream then I could have a little fun out on the rink and I didn’t have to worry because it’s not like I could hurt myself in a dream world, right?

  It’d always bugged me that Dorothy had never been in any serious danger because she’d been asleep the whole time, and now I was over the rainbow, literally, and not in any danger myself. I wasn’t going to knock it when I was the one benefiting from dream immunity.

  “Yeah, that sounds fun!” I said.

  Jenny took my hand and her touch was magic. A little less magic was the slightly terrifying thought of stepping out onto the hardwood, it was something that bothered me even if I knew I was safe, but with Jenny’s hand in mine I felt like I could take on the world.

  Or like I could go out there and kick some serious ass skating. It was amazing what I was willing to do when there was a pretty girl smiling and encouraging me.

  11

  Couple’s Skate

  I wobbled just a little when we stepped out onto the rink.

  “You going to be okay?” Jenny asked, clearly still concerned that I was hurting from passing out.

  “I’ll be fine,” I said, feeling a strange confidence coming over me. It was the sort of confidence that came from a teenager being an idiot and trying to impress a girl.

  “If you say so,” Jenny said, obviously not believing me.

  I could do this. After all, I’d been on skates like this before. Sure it’d been a long time ago at a skating party where my mom dragged me out from hugging hugging the wall which had seemed like a good enough time to me at the time, but still.

  The principle was the same. Put one foot in front of the other and get everything to start rolling along. Yeah, I could do this.

  “There you go,” Jenny said, smiling the kind of smile that made my heart melt while also giving me one hell of a case of butterflies in my stomach.

  I wobbled a couple of times as we made our first few circuits of the rink, but by the time we were through the second circuit I figured I had the hang of it. As long as people gave me enough space that I could move around them and not worry about falling over on them or something.

  “You’re getting it!” Jenny said. “You learned a lot faster than I would’ve figured.”

  “Yeah, well the only experience I’ve had in recent years is on in line skates,” I said. “Totally different experience.”

  We would’ve done a couple more circuits in peace if it weren’t for the lights suddenly going down, more than they already had, and a slow song came on.

  “Are they playing fucking Whitesnake?” I asked, as the opening strains of Is This Love came on.

  “Well duh,” Jenny said. “I mean why wouldn’t they? Sure it’s a few years old, but whatever.”

  The lights changed overhead along with the music, and there was something else weird going on. People were getting off of the rink and heading for the concession stand or the arcade. Everyone who was leaving was on their own, leaving only couples out on the floor.

  “What’s going on?” I asked.

  “Um, you don’t know?” Jenny asked, suddenly blushing bright enough that I could see it even in the darkness.

  “Pretend I don’t,” I said.

  “Couple’s skate,” she said.

  That sent a shiver running through me. Couple’s skate. I’d never had someone I could share a couple’s skate with, but now that I was rolling around the rink with Jenny I felt pretty good about the idea.

  “So how are we supposed to do this?” I asked.

  I looked out across the skating rink. Most everyone seemed to be coming together holding hands, but that was something we were already doing. There were a few people who seemed more adept at the whole skating thing who were getting a little more up close and personal, but I didn’t…

  Jenny appeared in front of me, facing me as she skated backwards. Which was a hell of a surprise.

  Well then. I didn’t have the skill to pull some of the stuff those other wannabe lovers were pulling with each other, but Jenny definitely had the ability. She smiled and blushed as she looked at me, then somehow moved closer without messing me up.

  If I wasn’t in the middle of this crazy dream I probably would’ve freaked out and done something stupid that sent both of us ass over teakettle, but the nice thing about being in a dream was I could do whatever I wanted.

  Which meant I didn’t have the freakout I would’ve had if this had been happening in the real world and I knew there was a pretty girl standing in front of me skating backwards so close that any wrong move on either of our parts would send us spilling.

  “You’re pretty good at this,” I said with a grin.

  “I should be,” she said. “My parents own the place, and I’ve been skating here since I learned how to walk.”

  I licked my lips. Looked around the place. I guess that made sense. She’d been talking to everyone like she knew them pretty well. She’d talked to that guy at the concession stand like she had something to do with his continued employment. She’d mentioned getting James kicked out for good. Being the owner’s daughter would put her in that weird space where she wasn’t exactly the boss, but she still had the kind of pull that’d make people walk carefully around her.

  I pushed all those thoughts away though. If this crazy head injury dream was giving me a pretty girl standing in front of me looking beautiful and getting as close to me as she could without spilling us out over the skating rink then I was going to take it, and I didn’t care about the background details.

  “Y’know I’ve never done this before,” I said.

  Jenny smiled. “I’ve done it a few times, but I don’t count the first few times because it was with guys. Or the time I fell and nearly broke my tailbone.”

  Well then. Now we were getting to the heart of the matter. To something I’d been suspecting ever since I first saw her. Then again if my dream was going to serve me up a dream girl then it stood to reason that dream girl would be into the ladies.

  There wasn’t much point in having a dream girl if I couldn’t get with her, right?

  “Oh yeah?” I asked, deciding to play it coy.

  It was an instinctive reaction. There’d been so many times when I had to worry that maybe a girl was into me but the fallout could be bad if it turned out I was reading the situation wrong that I went in with an abundance of caution when it came to figuring out whether or not a pretty girl played on my team.

  “Well yeah,” she said. “I mean I guess I was trying to fool myself back then. It’s hard thinking that you’re gonna be that way when everything tells you otherwise, but honestly I was fooling myself. There’s no point in kidding yourself, right?”

  “Right,” I said, then decided to just go for it. “Y’know I really want to kiss you right now, but I’m afraid if I do our legs are going to get tangled up and we’re going to break something and wind up at the hospital aft
er all.”

  “You mean like this?” Jenny said, leaning forward like it was nothing. The core strength on this girl had to be amazing, and I found myself wondering what that core strength looked like under those tight overalls and the hot pink shirt underneath.

  So far this hadn’t been that kind of dream, but a girl could dream! Pun majorly intended there, thank you very much.

  Then she pressed her lips against me, and everything finally fell apart. I mean don’t get me wrong. Her kissing was fucking amazing. It’s just that her kissing me also finally had the reality part of my brain kicking in and telling me this was not the kind of thing we were capable of doing, even in a dream, and I felt myself starting to pitch over.

  In a flash Jenny was beside me. She had her arms around me steadying me. Her arms around me were really fucking nice. Being in someone else’s arms was even nicer.

  I hadn’t known this was something I needed, but here we were and it was amazing!

  I sighed and tried to lean my head against her shoulder. Then remembered we were traveling in a circle going at pretty rapid speeds that weren’t really conducive to that sort of thing, especially considering the spill we almost just took, so I settled for having her floating there next to me with her hands around my waist, sending little tingles of pleasure through me everywhere her hands made contact.

  Yeah, that felt good!

  Finally, unfortunately, it all came to an end. David Coverdale finished questioning whether or not it truly was love that he was feeling, and other people started filtering back out onto the hardwood. Which was a damned shame, because I’d really been enjoying that brief up close and personal time with Jenny!

  Though from the look she was giving me the up close and personal time was far from over. I’d never seen the old “bedroom eyes” outside of a movie. I’d always hoped I might see someone give me those eyes, but I never thought it would be in the middle of a skating rink two decades in the past!