Chaos

by Johansen, Iris

  “That’s what he told her parents, but he was lying to them. There wasn’t any reason for him to hurt Jeanne like that. He told that man Leo Baldwin that it was just time to have another event to remind everyone he was still in control of the negotiations.” She was holding her arms tightly across her body to try to stop the shaking. “‘Event.’ That’s what he called what they did to Jeanne. As if it was some kind of sports game or entertainment where he could show how powerful he was. He likes power.” She moistened her lips. “I’ve been thinking he might have even done that hideous thing to Jeanne to try to frighten me. He’s done things like that before, you know. Though I don’t know why he’d do it now when you won’t let me say or do anything to him.”

  Margaret had been afraid Sasha would go down that path. “It wasn’t your fault,” she said quickly. “Stop thinking like that. That’s not even the reason he gave Baldwin. You’re not that important to him.”

  “But his horses are. They’re more important to him than anything. And I probably said something to provoke him. I didn’t do it often. You told me that it would only make him angry and not solve anything. But sometimes I couldn’t—it was killing me, Margaret.”

  “It wasn’t your fault,” she repeated. “And we won’t have to face that problem much longer. As I told you, I think we’re very close.” She wasn’t certain she was convincing her. Change the subject. She reached into her jacket for the notebook and pen she’d brought. “I need the exact location of Baldwin’s tent. I have the other diagrams we made, but I have to be certain. Will you draw it for me?” She stood and watched as Sasha swiftly sketched the dimensions of the camp and Baldwin’s tent in it. “Is everything else exactly as you’ve told me? No change?”

  “No change.”

  “Well, Korgan definitely has changes in mind. I’m not sure what they are; he was damn vague. He just told Alisa what had to be done and that he might have plans for Baldwin. But it might involve using Baldwin in some way to trap Masenak.” She shrugged. “Which might be good for us. If all goes well, we’ll be going after Baldwin tomorrow night. Alisa might need you to go to Baldwin’s tent and distract him until she can take him down. Can you do that?”

  She nodded jerkily. “Distract that bastard? He was laughing this afternoon. I can do anything you ask me to do but watch them hurt Jeanne again. I’d kill them.”

  Margaret nodded in sympathy. “I understand. Unless I let you know differently, go to Baldwin’s tent at twelve thirty A.M. And don’t let anyone see you. Korgan says Baldwin is just supposed to disappear.” She took the notebook from Sasha and tucked it in her pocket. “Now get back to camp. I’ll tell Alisa that you’re doing as well as you can be, and you’re looking forward to seeing her again soon.”

  “She won’t believe you. The only thing you got right was how much I want to see her. She always knows exactly how I’m feeling.” Sasha smiled crookedly. “Just as I do her. I could sense how upset she was when she was staking out Korgan’s palace. I wanted to find a way to bolt out of here and go help her.”

  “Then smother that impulse. She’s just barely holding on now. You don’t want her panicking if she knows Masenak is on the hunt for you.” She gave her another quick hug and then turned away. “Try to sleep tonight.” She snapped her fingers, and Juno ran after her. “Go, Sasha. Juno will be hanging back until she knows you’re in your tent, and I want to get back to the border before dawn. I don’t want Alisa worrying.”

  “I’m on my way. I usually have no trouble slipping in and out. The sentries are used to seeing me move around the camp.” Her lips twisted. “I think they believe Masenak is saving me for himself.” She added bitterly, “In a way, they’re right.” Sasha moved quickly in the direction of the creek. “But I don’t want Alisa worrying, either. Having me here has been almost as bad for her as for me.”

  “She wouldn’t agree.” Yet that tie between Sasha and Alisa was incredibly strong, and it always amazed Margaret. When she had brought the two together, she had never thought that the affection would grow to become this warm, unbreakable bond. Two lonely people who had somehow found each other among the tumult. They were both so wary about giving affection that it was a true wonder it had happened. But that bond could also be dangerous for both of them when they were brought to confront the Masenaks of the world. They were too intense; the instinct to dive in and never let go, too powerful.

  She’s already reached her tent. We’re done here, aren’t we?

  Juno’s reminder was polite but pointed, she realized. In other words, stop dragging your feet. She felt a smile tugging at her lips as she picked up the pace to leave the camp behind. Yes, we’re done here…for now. Thank you for calling it to my attention.

  * * *

  Maldara Border

  “You’ve been out here for hours. Shouldn’t your Margaret be back by now?”

  Alisa looked over her shoulder to see Korgan standing in the shadows a few yards away. “It depends on how far she had to go out of the way to avoid the sentries. It might even be another couple of hours. Margaret knows what she’s doing. I told you she wouldn’t take chances. Spooking Masenak would ruin everything for us. So go away and take a nap or something.”

  “I don’t want to take a nap. I’m bored, and I thought I’d come over here and have you entertain me.” He strolled toward her, and now that he was in stark moonlight, she could see that his expression was intent but no longer antagonistic. “Don’t you want to tell me another outrageous story to amuse me?”

  “I’m not in the mood. I’ve reached the end of my repertoire.”

  “Maybe you need inspiration. You’re probably hungry. I notice you didn’t eat anything tonight.” He was holding out something to her. “I found some bananas in that hut. They’re just ripe enough. I thought I’d bring you one.”

  She stared at him in bewilderment. “A banana? I don’t want it. Why would you do that?”

  He sat down beside her. “I have no idea. I’ve been trying to decide. I think it has something to do with the way you looked when you walked away from me earlier tonight. After I got over the idea that you might just be playing me for an idiot, it sank in that you actually thought you were telling the truth.” He smiled. “And crazy or not, treating a mentally ill person as savagely as I did was unkind.”

  “So you brought me a banana?”

  “A very good banana,” he said solemnly. “I’m sure Koko the gorilla would approve.”

  She found herself smiling at him. “You were unkind.” She took the banana. “And wrong. So this is some kind of peace offering?”

  “It might be, though you should be properly grateful that I’m being so generous after what you’ve put me through.” His eyes were suddenly twinkling. “Or it might be that I was craving amusement and I just wanted to see you eating that banana. I don’t believe there’s anyone on earth who doesn’t look a little ridiculous with one sticking out of their mouth. Think about it.”

  She was thinking about it. She threw back her head and laughed. “That’s wicked. It better be a peace offering.” She started to peel the banana. “Because I was telling you the truth. You didn’t have to be that sarcastic.”

  “I thought it might help me hold on to my sanity, since it appeared I was the only one around here who possessed any. I was having a good deal of trouble believing anything you said after you’d lied to me about that damn camp.” He linked his arms around his legs and gazed out into the darkness. “And about the time I cooled down and decided that you might not be completely nuts, I also remembered that you have very high stakes in what’s going on at that camp. You wouldn’t have tried to string me along by using that kid, Sasha, to make it plausible.”

  She felt warmth surge through her. “That’s very generous of you. I could have been lying about her.”

  He said lightly, “But I didn’t think you were, and we’ve already discussed that my instincts are almost always right.” He made a face. “Or that at least that I tend to think they are.
You never told Zabron about Sasha, did you? He had no idea why you were so determined to go after Masenak just because of those kidnappings. Why not?”

  She lifted her shoulder in a half shrug. “I’d given him everything he wanted from me. This was something of my own and I wasn’t sharing it.” Her lips twisted. “Sasha is very special. I didn’t want him to find something in her he wanted to mold and develop to suit himself. There are sometimes prices to be paid in situations like that, and I didn’t want her to have to pay them. I wanted her to be free.”

  He nodded slowly. “I was cruel about your feelings for her, too. Sometimes I can be a selfish bastard, but fairness is important to me. I regard it as one of the prime virtues in a corrupt world. I don’t think I was fair to you.”

  “But I only got one banana,” she said solemnly. “You committed two mistakes. I think if this is an apology that you should do it right.”

  “Be satisfied. You still might be nuts. You wouldn’t lie about your Sasha, but you haven’t been overly truthful about anything else on record since I met you.”

  “But I promised to change my ways and I’ve done it. You just haven’t seen the proof yet.” She was actually enjoying this odd conversation. He had started off with humor, and the lightness had continued. Very different from the tense, electric atmosphere between them from the beginning. “As long as you’re being generous, you might even find a way to believe it wasn’t one huge lie.”

  “Don’t count on it. That was a big stretch. Though I did go on the Net and looked up all those references you mentioned.” He nodded at the banana. “Including Koko. Interesting story. I had a vague memory of hearing about the gorilla before, but the concept wasn’t exactly on my list of subjects I needed to pursue.”

  “You Googled it?” She couldn’t believe it. “Why?”

  “I wasn’t going to be caught behind the tide of opinion if Margaret Douglas was the real thing. New and wonderful things are happening every day.” He grinned. “And I’m supposed to be a forerunner.” His smile faded. “I guess maybe I wanted to believe you. I didn’t want anyone who had the brains to disarm that XV-10 alarm to be anything less than I thought she should be.”

  “That only required skill and memory. You have to begin with an element of faith to believe in Margaret.” She was trying not to be disappointed, but she knew what was coming next. “And you still couldn’t bring yourself to believe me, could you?”

  “No,” he said gently. “Not sufficient evidence. I had problems with the fact that the human brain is seven times larger than it should be considering body size. In almost all other species, brain and neural track go along with their comparative sizes. There must be a reason that our minds have to be that complicated, and it’s not reasonable that communication would be possible with animals who don’t have an equal advantage.”

  “Yet the dolphin’s brain is even larger than the human brain on the comparison scale.”

  “An exception to prove the rule.” He smiled. “But maybe when I get the time, I’ll do some research to see how such a brilliant woman managed to delude herself.”

  “Don’t bother. You’re a busy man and I don’t care if you believe me or not.” Not true at this strangely intimate moment. It mattered very much to her. “You were demanding reasons and I gave them to you. You didn’t like them. That’s the end of it.” She changed the subject to escape the sharpness of disappointment. “Did you call Vogel and check on that team that’s supposed to show up tomorrow? Did you give him the go-ahead?”

  “Tentatively. If I don’t cancel after Margaret comes back, Vogel and company should be streaming in here about four in the afternoon to set up a base camp. Weapons. Equipment. Tents. You won’t be able to recognize this place by the end of the day. Relieved?”

  “Yes. It’s one step closer.” She looked back at him. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to sit here and eat my banana and ignore you until Margaret comes back. I might not have told you the exact truth. I’m always a little worried while they’re gone.”

  “I could see that when I walked over here. The body language was loud and clear. At least that’s not a lie.” He paused and then muttered, “Son of a bitch. And I’ve managed to hurt you again, haven’t I? I always think you’re so damn tough, and then you close up inside yourself after I say something. It makes me feel as if I’ve kicked that dog of Margaret’s.”

  She stiffened immediately. “Don’t be ridiculous. You couldn’t do anything that would hurt me. You’ve no idea who I am or what I’ve gone through. No one can hurt me unless I let them. And you actually think something you could say would bother me?”

  He shrugged and held up his hands in surrender. “Then by all means ignore me.” He added recklessly, “Though I don’t know why the hell anything you’re feeling matters to me anyway. In fact, I might enjoy watching you more than listening to you. You’re a beautiful woman when you manage to keep your mouth shut. When I look at those superb cheekbones, I can almost forget what a pain in the ass you are.”

  She went still. “Cerebral versus physical?” Her gaze was searching his face. “And you told me you were very physical. Is that really why you came back to me tonight? Have you changed your mind about the terms of the deal?”

  “Hell, no. That’s not what I meant. I told you what I wanted to say.”

  “And you said it.” She was suddenly on her knees facing him. “But sometimes things aren’t what they seem.” She needed to make sure that he wasn’t saying one thing but meaning another. She and Margaret were getting so close to bringing him on board to help those students. She wasn’t the one who might suffer if she made that error in judgment. “You’re angry now, and that always heightens sexual tension. I believe you’re thinking about more than my cheekbones. If you want to change those terms, just tell me.”

  “So you can offer to take your clothes off again?”

  “Of course. I told you I couldn’t lose you. It’s not as if it would matter to me. It’s only sex, but I’ve been very well trained. You’d enjoy me. Should I do it?”

  He was glaring at her. “Yes, I am angry with you, and frustrated, and I’d like nothing more than to pull you down on the ground and screw your brains out. You read that right. But I find I don’t care for the idea of a mindless jump in the sack with you. I have more sophisticated tastes these days, and I resent the fact that you’d refer to sex with me as ‘only.’ You might have heard I’m very competitive.”

  “I haven’t heard anything about you sexually except what I’ve read in the tabloids, and that was probably lies.” She drew a deep breath. “But I’ve obviously made a mistake. I thought you’d changed your mind and decided you wanted me. I didn’t mean to make you more angry. Let’s forget about it.”

  “I’m finding that hard to do now,” he said grimly. “With emphasis on ‘hard.’ And I can’t promise that I won’t decide to take you up on that offer anytime, anywhere, and to hell with any objections to mindless lust. All I can think about at the moment is what you said about how much I’d enjoy you. I keep imagining all the ways—” He suddenly broke off. “No, that’s not quite all. You said you’d been well trained. What did you mean by that?”

  She hesitated. “What I said.”

  “Elaborate.”

  She shrugged. “When I was fourteen, Zabron got it into his head that my agent training should be expanded. One day he drove me to a house in Morocco called the Golden Door. It specialized in training in sexual acts and specialties. Before he let me out in the courtyard, he told me how Russian agents called Sparrows were often sent to that house and became much more valuable agents for the experience. He said that it would help me survive in any situation.” She realized Korgan was cursing violently, and she stopped. “You don’t want to know any more?”

  “The hell I don’t. I want to know how far the son of a bitch went to victimize a fourteen-year-old girl.”

  “You couldn’t call me a victim. I wasn’t like other girls.”

  �
�I’m sure you weren’t. How long were you there?”

  “He said I had to stay two months.” She moistened her lips. “But it disturbed me, so I made sure that I learned everything I had to learn in half that time.”

  “What disturbed you?”

  “I could do everything they told me to do well, but I couldn’t stand the confinement or lack of choice. It made me…not myself. It…smothered me.” She shivered. “I’d never be able to be one of those Sparrows. I told Zabron I couldn’t go back there.”

  “Did he give you an argument?”

  “No, he said I’d learned what he’d wanted me to learn and I could go on to something else.”

  “How kind of him,” Korgan said savagely.

  “I told you he had his own agenda. I never expected kindness. I didn’t like that place, but it helped me to learn.” She looked him in the eye. “And it gave me something to offer you if I needed to.”

  “Yes, there’s always that to consider.” His lips twisted. “You’re right, I don’t have any idea what your life was like.”

  “Stop treating me like a martyr. It was just something I had to learn and then go on. It’s not as if I don’t like most sex these days. It’s just sometimes the other stuff bothered me.”

  “I’m not even going there.”

  “But Zabron was right about it giving me another way to survive. That was important to me.”

  “And the bastard knew it was important and used it to put you through that.” His voice was fierce. “You’re so damn smart. Why can’t you see what he did to you?”

  She could almost feel his rage, and it put her on the defensive. “Yes, I see that I could have walked away. But if I had, he might have gotten bored or discouraged and decided not to teach me anything else. I was learning.” She added passionately, “Do you know how important that was to me? Every time I learned something new, it was as if I was given another precious gift that no one could ever take away from me. When I was a child, I could see how ignorance robbed everyone around me. If I’d walked away from Zabron, the only thing anyone else would have been willing to teach me was the same thing the Golden Door did. I had to make a choice.” She stopped. “I made it, and then I walked away. I’m sorry you think it was stupid or lacking in character, but it gave me four more years to get on my feet. If I hadn’t had them, I might not have had the opportunity to learn about things like your XV-10, and tracking, and cyber security, and Mandarin, and…so many other things.” She forced herself to unclench her fists. “So I’m not at all sorry I made that choice, Korgan.”