Right Amount of Wrong: A Standalone Romance

by Bijou Hunter

  My parents snicker again, enjoying the shit out of my situation.

  “She won’t answer my calls.”

  “How long has it been since you freed her from captivity?” Dad asks, bursting into chuckles and sending Mom into hysterics.

  Leaning back in the chair, I shake my head and let them laugh. I imagine Vidalia at her home where she shares a room with kids and possesses not a single, private spot to herself. She belongs with me. I’d buy her a house and give her pets and spend my life giving her whatever she wanted to be happy. No one will offer her what I can because not a single person has ever seen her value the way I do.

  I stand up and walk to the couch where I shove my still laughing father’s arm out of my way and wedge myself next to Mom.

  “How long do I need to wait before I start showing up at her house?” I ask her.

  “Let her have a few days to miss you.”

  “A few days?” I bitch. “I can’t go that long without seeing her. Can I at least drive by her place or show up at the deli when she’s working?”

  “Crap, boy,” Dad says, giving a disgusted frown, “you’re addicted, and I don’t mean that as a compliment.”

  “She’s mine, and I had her to myself for days. I need to see Vidalia and know she’s okay and have her close by and I really should make sure she gets to work safely. She doesn’t have a car, you know? I should buy her one.”

  Dad gives Mom that look he always gives when one of their kids is freaking out. Punishments come from him, but she’s in charge of handling the crazy.

  Mom takes my hand in her delicate one. “Do you love this girl?”

  “Her name is Vidalia.”

  “That’s not what I asked.”

  “Yes. Completely. That’s why I need to see her.”

  “Could you be confusing obsession with love?”

  “No.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yep.”

  “Super duper sure?”

  Dad rolls his eyes and stands up. “You’re babying him, Tawny.”

  “That’s because he’s my baby, Judd.”

  Smirking, Dad heads to the bedroom to watch TV or nap. Who knows what he does in there?

  “I know I sound insane,” I tell Mom. “You can’t know how Vidalia makes me feel. I worried at first that it was just lust, but spending time with her only made me need her more. If she’d take my calls, I could relax. Well, for a little bit, but I need to see her soon.”

  “If you feel that way, I’m sure she does too. Give her a tiny bit of space, and she’ll come rushing back into your arms.”

  “No crawling, huh?” I ask, and we smile at Dad’s earlier wording.

  “No crawling. I believe in fate. Look at your dad and me. Now it’s your turn to find the right person.”

  “She’s great too, Mom. She likes me for me. None of that ‘ride a biker to be wild’ crap.”

  “You’ve never let any girls close to your heart. If you did with Vidalia, she’ll return to you.”

  “Promise.”

  “No.”

  Smiling, I wish she’d stay with me on the couch. I’ve never been a particularly lonely person, but without Vidalia, I feel the emptiness around me. She warmed a life I didn’t even realize was cold.

  Despite Mom’s assurances that Vidalia will return to me, I’m not sure how long I can wait before another stupid plan makes sense in my head.

  20

  Vidalia

  ⊱✿ ✿⊰

  Sleepwalking through my day, I make food, display food, pack food, and make more food. I’ve never realized how little brain power my job takes or how much can be done on autopilot.

  My thoughts forever linger on Gunnar. I wonder what he’s doing and if he’s thinking of me. Or is he with another girl already? I know this thought is stupid. Gunnar isn’t the cheating type. He’s almost too loyal for someone like me who’s never received so much attention.

  “Vidalia?” asks a woman on the other side of the counter.

  Still on mental autopilot, I take a long time to recognize not only my name but where I know her face.

  “Yes,” I mumble, already feeling scolded.

  Gunnar’s mom is even more beautiful in person than in the photos I saw around her house. With her long, dark hair and big dark eyes, she gave her kids many of their beautiful attributes.

  “I’m Tawny O’Keefe. Do you have time to talk?”

  Shrugging, I mumble, “I can’t really do that now. I mean, not until my break, and that’s not for a while.”

  “I’ll wait. What time is your break?”

  “It’s not for an hour.”

  Tawny checks her phone before smiling at me. “I’ll come back.”

  I watch her walk away until she turns a corner and disappears down an aisle. Returning to prepping food, I realize my hands are shaking. I’m screwed up enough about my feelings for Gunnar, but now life dumps a huge pile of mother issues onto the problem.

  My only distraction from the worries in my head is the line of customers waiting for their food. Eventually, the hour passes, and Gunnar’s mom returns like clockwork.

  Unable to weasel out of the conversation, I follow Tawny outside where we stand under an awning to keep out of the light drizzle.

  “I hope you’re not scared of me,” she says when I avoid her gaze.

  “I’m not.”

  “You look scared.”

  “Sorry.”

  “I’m not here to make you feel bad. I understand why you haven’t returned Gunnar’s calls.”

  “He told you about that?”

  “My boy won’t stop talking about you, and I’ve never seen Gunnar sweet on a girl before. That’s why I’m here instead of letting him handle things on his own.”

  “I don’t know how to tell him what I’m thinking, so how can I tell you?”

  “I want you to know Gunnar will wait for you. Heidi clued me in on what happened and how strong he came on with his ploy. I think maybe you think you need to decide how you feel right this second because he isn’t a man accustomed to waiting. Gunnar probably thinks he can’t wait another second for you to make up your mind, but he’s wrong. You have all the time in the world and don’t let anyone make you think otherwise.”

  “Okay.”

  A gust of frigid air circles us, and Tawny zips up her jacket. When her gaze returns to me, I wish I had something meaningful to share.

  “I met my husband when I was younger than you,” she says when I remain silent, “and I’d be lying if I said I made all the right decisions. Being young is challenging and falling for a man is challenging, and all the hormones and sex and then everything builds up until you just want to hide away from it.”

  “That sounds about right.”

  “Men don’t understand.”

  “Neither do I,” I say, hating the tears in my eyes. “I care about Gunnar, but the thought of seeing him makes me want to cry.”

  “How come?” she asks and wraps an arm around my shoulders.

  I’m not used to someone taking care of me. Even Reg only ensures I have a roof over my head and don’t starve. Now Tawny comforts me, which only makes me cry harder.

  By the time I calm my sobs to simple hiccups, I realize I’m mourning the walls I’ve tossed aside because of Gunnar. I was once safe from life’s disappointments. Sure, I wanted a car and a place of my own. Often, I was frustrated by how I never got ahead. On occasion, I thought about how little my parents did for me. I’ve basically raised myself, so how would I even know if I was done growing up?

  For Gunnar, I ripped away my walls because I wanted to trust him enough to love him. But without those protections, every emotion I’ve held at bay over the years is too powerful. I can’t fall for Gunnar with the walls up, and I don’t know if I can survive falling for Gunnar without them.

  “I’m not usually a crybaby,” I mumble and wipe my eyes.

  “My sister and I are known for crying a lot. There’s no harm in owning your
emotions.”

  “Gunnar is special, you know? I guess having someone special in my life makes me realize how the rest of my life isn’t special. I don’t know. My feelings are a mess in my head.”

  “Slow down,” she says, handing me a tissue. “Let yourself feel without trying to make sense of it. Gunnar’s not going anywhere. He’ll wait for you to figure things out.”

  “Did he tell you that?”

  “He didn’t have to. Gunnar has never fallen for a girl before. Now that he has, he won’t walk away.”

  “He doesn’t seem like a patient man.”

  “Oh, he’s not,” she says, flashing me a great smile, “but he has no choice. If he wants you, he’ll wait. You just need to let him know that.”

  “Can’t you tell him?” I ask, laughing at my stupidity.

  Tawny gives me a big smile. “I would, but he wouldn’t believe me. Gunnar can be singularly focused when he wants something. Right now, he wants you to want him.”

  “I do want him.”

  “Just tell him that and then tell him to learn a little patience. Keep it simple.”

  Nodding, I exhale slowly and try to regain my composure before I return to work.

  “I wish this wasn’t the first time you met me. I’m not normally this emotional.”

  “Next time, you can show me the less emotional Vidalia.”

  Sharing her smile, I’m relieved by her calm demeanor. She isn’t what I expected. In my head, she was tough and a little scary. Like a harder version of Heidi whose confidence I find both appealing and terrifying.

  Even more than her comfort, Tawny’s provided me the permission to keep Gunnar at bay for the time being.

  Now if only I can convince my heart to have as much patience as I expect from Gunnar.

  21

  Ogre

  ⊱✿ ✿⊰

  From my view in a borrowed car, I suspect Vidalia is sleeping as shitty as I am. I watch her walk to the bus stop, and her steps seem leaden. Even from a distance, I notice the dullness in her eyes. Yes, my baby is missing me.

  So why won’t she accept my calls?

  Texting her every hour, I keep hoping she’ll respond. I call every few hours, praying she’ll answer. Vidalia’s ability to walk away from me breaks my heart, and I’m lost without her.

  Dad keeps me busy during the day by having me help him fix the double-wide’s roof. Next, Mom coaxes me to work in the yard with her. They mean well, but I can’t stop worrying about Vidalia when she isn’t with me. No amount of manual labor will take my mind off the woman I love.

  Heidi sends me on errands, having me scare the shit out of a few people along with picking her up a few groceries. I suspect she wants me to spy on Vidalia because she must know I’ll stop by Walmart for milk and bread.

  I’m fooling myself with all the cloak and dagger crap I pull at the store. No way can I hide from Vidalia, yet she never seems to notice me. Her thoughts somewhere else, she smiles for customers, but I see how fake her movements are even from where I peer around a shelf.

  I hate leaving her, but people start whispering about the big guy lurking around the bread aisle. Not wanting to have the cops show up and make a scene, I finally pay for Heidi’s crap and walk away from Vidalia. At least until I can follow her home later.

  At night, I sleep in the guest bedroom where I wrap myself in the sheets from our single night together. Her scent comforts my heart, and I wonder if Vidalia dreams of me. Every night, I tell myself she’ll answer my call in the morning. She can’t give up on us. We click, and there’s no returning from finding the perfect person. I’ll never move on, and I pray she won’t either.

  22

  Vidalia

  ⊱✿ ✿⊰

  Every day since I returned, Champagne hits me with a million questions as soon as I walk through the door. My answers never satisfy her gossipy nature, and her mother, Diamond, states I’m hiding something. They watch me full of suspicion while Reg only pats my back and says he’s glad I’m okay.

  Most days, I appreciate my brother’s casual nature. Right now, I wish he were more affectionate. Mostly because I miss Gunnar’s warm presence.

  My nephew claims he slept in my bed every night I was gone. “I was practicing for when the baby comes,” he proudly states.

  I think to ask where I would sleep in this scenario, but the kid is too excited about bunking on his own. With her brother in the top bunk, Princess says she could finally stretch out.

  “I’m getting too big to share with a boy,” she announces.

  I smile at their excited announcements because that’s what I do. Never complain. Don’t expect too much. Stay out of the way. Be useful enough to have value.

  I still behave as I did as a teen when my mom kicked me out. Not much of a surprise considering I sleep in the kids’ room, don’t own a car, and choose shifts at Walmart that’ll work around Champagne’s schedule. Even at twenty, I live like a child. My arrested development lands squarely on my shoulders.

  How did I manage to feel more adult while living a lie with Gunnar than I have all these years in my real life?

  “So, is this guy rich?” Fern asks while meeting me for lunch at the Subway inside Walmart during my break.

  “I don’t think so. He has more money than I do.”

  “Who doesn’t, Vi?” she asks, bouncing her baby, Gaylon, on her lap.

  Ignoring her comment, I help her three-year-old, TJ, eat his kid-sized sandwich. He’s a cute boy, looking more like his pretty mom than his fat-head father. Poor Gaylon is all Taylor, though.

  “I’m confused about this guy,” Fern says, wanting juicier dish. “Did he force himself on you?”

  “Of course not. This entire conversation would be different if he had. I seriously doubt I would have started by saying I missed him.”

  “Yeah, probably not, but you never know. Girls are weird. That’s why I’m glad I have boys.”

  Studying her boy, I sigh. “I found myself fantasizing about Gunnar and me with kids. I’ve spent years convincing my boring butt that marriage and kids isn’t my dream, but the minute I meet a guy I like, I’m ready to get barefoot and pregnant.”

  “That’s how I felt with Taylor. As soon as I saw him, I wanted to put my legs in the air and start procreating.”

  My mind flashes to her husband’s fat head, and I can’t imagine anyone looking at Taylor with anything besides mild pity. He’s a mess of acne and odd facial hair. When Fern looks at him, she swoons over a dream boat, always making me wonder if she was simply hard up for any man.

  Except maybe other women are blind to the Gunnar I’ve fallen for. Do they see a rough biker with a banged-up face –– a.k.a. Ogre –– while I find him panty-wetting handsome? Does fate make us shiver over someone who’d cause anyone else to simply shrug?

  Everything seems so damn simple now. Why my mom gave up her independent lifestyle for my dad? Lamar Cornish was her perfect match, even if he seemed like a fool to everyone else. When she lost him, Mom grabbed any man who reminded her of Dad.

  While her reasoning certainly doesn’t make me like her more than before, I finally get why she changed. Dad was “the one,” and her life chasing bands felt insignificant compared to what she had with him.

  ⊱✿ ✿⊰

  Long after my lunch with Fern, I’m struck by how Gunnar might seem like the wrong choice in the way my dad was for my mom. Except he’s the perfect choice for me. The only one, in fact.

  Staring at the ceiling from my top bunk, I know sleep isn’t coming tonight. My heart hurts with every breath and only seeing Gunnar again will ease the pain. I’m not sure I can face him yet, though. What would I even say? What would I want to happen besides finding the comfort his presence will bring me?

  I don’t know the answers to my questions, but I still climb down from my bed. In the living room, Champagne and Diamond talk about a TV show. Reg is likely in the master bedroom, dozing off while watching sports news.

  Once in the bathroo
m, I text Gunnar before I talk myself out of making a move.

  “It’s late, but I need you,” is all I can think to tell him.

  As if he’s been waiting for the message, he immediately replies with, “I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

  Sneaking back into my bedroom, I’m careful not to wake the kids while I track down a pair of shoes and my pink windbreaker. I also shove a few days’ worth of clothes into my purse.

  Champagne doesn’t notice me until I open the front door. “Where you headed?”

  “Out with a friend.”

  “What friend?”

  “Bob,” I say, shutting the door behind me.

  The house doesn’t have much of a porch to keep me from getting wet in the light rain. Even so, I don’t want to stay inside where I’ve pretended for too long. My brother gave me a home when my mother refused to let me remain in hers. Forever grateful, I’ve lived under the thumb of him, Champagne, Diamond, and even the kids. They didn’t take advantage of me as much as I offered them whatever they wanted to avoid the same fate I had with my mother.

  I no longer want to offer them anything. I’m burned out on selflessness. Now I crave my happiness over everyone else’s. They can’t offer me what I need anyway. Only Gunnar can.

  A black SUV pulls up to the curb, and the passenger window rolls down.

  “Vidalia,” he says in a hoarse voice.

  Hurrying through the rain, I open the passenger door and climb into the SUV. Gunnar immediately pulls a blanket from the back seat and hands it to me.

  “Thank you,” I say, covering my shivering body. Finally, I force myself to look in his eyes, finding them as sad as I’ve ever seen. “You shouldn’t have lied to me.”

  “I know.”

  “You made me think someone tried to kill me. Do you have any idea how scared I was?”

  Gunnar doesn’t answer because there’s no easy response.

  “You had no right to trick me. Who does that crap? No one, that’s who.”

  “I know, and I am sorry, but you would never have given me a chance.”

  Wrapping myself tighter in the blanket, I roll my eyes at his logic. “You don’t know that. You asked me out once, and I said no, but I still thought about you. I wondered if you were different because I couldn’t stop thinking about you. Instead of letting me choose to seek you out or asking me again after I’d thought about how I liked you, your solution was to pull a stunt to keep me locked up in your parents’ house.”