A Promise To Keep

by Christina Tetreault

  The growing anger almost choked her, and she waited a moment before speaking again. “What I did with it wasn’t up to you.” She wanted to stomp her foot like a three-year-old. He’d stuck his nose into a matter that didn’t concern him. “I can’t believe you went behind my back and did that. It wasn’t any of your business!” She shouted the last sentence, no longer able to keep her anger in check.

  “Yes, it was.”

  He sounded angry. He had nothing to be angry about. She hadn’t tricked him. She hadn’t lied to him. Drew was the one at fault here. “Why? Tell me, Drew. How did it have anything to do with you?”

  The vein near his temple pulsed. He was close to losing control too. “Because I promised Ian, damn it. And you wouldn’t let me help you.”

  He’d promised Ian what? Did she want to know? “What did you promise my brother?” Her voice shook as she asked the question.

  Drew took a step back and hung his head. When he looked up, worry lurked in his eyes. She was going to regret asking him what he’d promised.

  “The day before Ian died, he asked me to always look after you. Take care of you. Do anything to help you out like he would’ve. I promised him I would.”

  Things were finally beginning to make much more sense. “The monthly phone calls. You didn’t call because you cared. You called because of your promise.” The individual pieces of the puzzle slowly came together. The more that came together, the less she liked the picture they made.

  “No. I called because of both. I’ve always cared about you. Even when we were kids.”

  The last puzzle piece dropped in, and pain sliced through her chest, almost knocking her to her knees. “You married me to keep your promise to Ian. You could’ve asked me out at anytime, but you didn’t. Love had nothing to do with your reason for marrying me. You did it so you can take care of me.” She spat the last few words at him.

  Sometimes he hated being right. He’d known if she ever learned the truth she’d be furious. Describing her as furious tonight was putting it mildly.

  “Kelsey, I married you because I love you. My promise to Ian had nothing to do with it.”

  “You admit you deceived me and expect me to still believe you?”

  Drew grabbed her upper arms. He needed her to accept what he was about to say. “What I asked Jack to do was wrong. I’m sorry. I should’ve let you handle it. But everything I’ve told you is the truth. When it comes to our relationship, I’ve never lied to you. Kelsey, I love you and want to be with you forever.”

  “No. I never lied to you.” She pulled away and started toward the door. Stopping, she turned around and went to the chest of drawers instead. Yanking open the top drawer, she pulled out pj’s. She didn’t say another word. Instead she marched back toward the door.

  “Where are you going?” They couldn’t end the night like this. They needed to work this out.

  “The guest bedroom. I’ll sleep in there tonight. Tomorrow I’ll ask Cat if I can stay with her and Tony until I figure something else out.”

  The words were like a slap across the face. “Sweetheart, please don’t.” The rage in her eyes told him to keep his distance for the moment. “I know you’re mad at me.”

  “Mad doesn’t come close to what I am tonight.” She turned the doorknob.

  “I don’t want to go to bed like this.”

  “It’s a little too late for that.”

  He’d expected her to be furious, but he hadn’t been prepared for the ice queen standing in front of him. Maybe giving her some space for the night was a good idea. “Fair enough. We can talk in the morning. Kelsey, no matter what you believe right now, I love you. I want to be with you. I need you.”

  “Yeah, well I don’t know if I want to be with you.” She walked out and slammed the door.

  Drew stared at the closed door. He’d royally screwed things up, and it might have cost him the woman he loved.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Every detail from the previous night ran through his head. It’d started out fantastic. He’d had the woman he loved by his side and his family and friends around him. It had ended in fiery disaster. Drew touched the empty pillow next to him. He’d brought it on himself. From the beginning, he’d known enlisting Jack’s aid was wrong. He’d done it anyway, convinced Kelsey would never find out. If not for the party and his brother’s big mouth, maybe she still wouldn’t know. He never should’ve let Mom plan the reception. He and Kelsey could’ve handled it, and he would’ve left Jack off the guest list. He could’ve easily kept the two from ever meeting.

  But nope. He’d been confident he had everything under control, and he’d given Mom the green light to invite anyone.

  Drew rubbed his hands across his face and tried to wipe away the memory of Kelsey’s expression when he’d slipped and mentioned Ian. He’d managed to keep the promise a secret for almost four years. It should still be a secret. Fear and frustration had caused him to slip last night. Once he’d mentioned Ian, he had to come clean.

  She believed he’d married her because of his promise. He couldn’t fault her for reaching the conclusion, considering what he’d said and done. He wished he could. After all, he’d first come up with the idea to marry her so he could take care of Kelsey and keep his promise. When he said the vows in Hawaii, his promise had nothing to do with it. He loved her. It’d taken him years to realize his true feelings for her, and the idea of losing her scared him to death. Somehow, he needed to convince her he hadn’t married her because he felt obligated.

  “You’re not going to do it sitting in bed.”

  The scent of coffee and bacon met him outside the kitchen. His stomach rumbled. His nutritionist insisted he avoid bacon, but it’d always been one of his favorite breakfast foods. Kelsey knew how much he loved it. Had she made it for him? Maybe it was her way of saying she understood and wanted to work through what happened last night?

  “Are you sure?” Kelsey’s voice reached him. “After I finish breakfast, I’ll pack and come over.”

  So much for his brief fantasy. Sleep and time apart hadn’t helped the situation.

  When he walked in, she looked in his direction but didn’t smile.

  “See you soon.” She put the cell phone down and reached for her coffee mug. “Good morning. There’s coffee if you want some.”

  She’d probably addressed her customers at Masterson’s in a friendlier tone. He wouldn’t let it bother him. She had every right to be angry.

  “Morning.” He always greeted her with a kiss. The ice barrier around her told him to skip it this morning. “How’d you sleep?”

  “Fine.” She took several sips of coffee before picking up her fork. French toast covered with strawberries and bacon sat in front of her untouched. “There’s no extra French toast, but there is some bacon left.”

  Drew took the stool opposite her. “I’m not interested in breakfast, Kels.” He reached across the kitchen island and took her hand. “I’m interested in us. What I asked Jack to do was wrong. I’m sorry. If I could undo it, I would.”

  “I’m not sure there is an us.” She yanked her hand out from his. “Cat and Tony are letting me stay with them. After I pack, I’m heading over. The insurance company will still pay for me to rent a place while my house is being rebuilt. I’ll figure out what’s best while I’m gone.”

  He’d been sacked by 250-pound linebackers, and it’d hurt less than Kelsey’s announcement. “Don’t move out. If you want, stay in a guest bedroom, but please don’t leave. This is your home as much as mine now.”

  “Why? Because you made some stupid promise to Ian? I told you before, Drew, I don’t need another brother. And I don’t need someone to take care of me. Especially not you.”

  “I know you can manage fine on your own.” She was making this so difficult. Maybe he deserved it. “I want you here because I love you. I married you because I love you. Please stay so we can work through this.”

  Her rigid posture loosened. Had he gotten through to h
er?

  “Drew, I’ve loved you most of my life. More than anything, I want to believe you….”

  “Then do.”

  Sadness hung over her like a giant cloud. “It’s not that simple. You lied to me about other things. I’m not sure I can believe anything you say anymore. I can’t be around you right now.”

  If ever. He heard the unspoken words in her voice. Damn, this was turning out far worse than he’d ever imagined.

  She loved him, but couldn’t stay. Not after all she’d learned last night, no matter what he said. Maybe he did love her. Maybe he hadn’t married her to keep a promise, but she’d never figure it out sleeping down the hall from him. Staying with Cat and Tony was only a temporary solution. She couldn’t impose on them indefinitely. Crashing at their house for the next several days would at least give her a chance to reassess her life and what her next move should be. Even if the next move was getting a divorce attorney.

  “I’m not hungry anymore. You can have this if you want. I’m going to go pack.” She pushed the untouched breakfast toward him. There was no point in wasting a perfectly good meal. She didn’t stick around to see if he ate it. The sooner she got away from him, the better.

  Kelsey didn’t fold anything. She grabbed stacks of clothes from drawers and dropped them in the suitcases. The few things in the closet followed. Within forty minutes, she was backing out of Drew’s driveway and closing the garage door.

  A wooden door decoration with the words Happy Spring printed on it along with white daisies hung on Cat’s door. “Happy, my foot,” Kelsey mumbled, ringing the bell. She was a lot of things but certainly not happy. Right now it didn’t feel like she’d ever be happy again. “At least Drew looked miserable too.” She hoped he was because he deserved to be.

  Cat opened the door, looking worried. She hugged Kelsey before saying a word. “C’mon in. Tony is out. We have the house to ourselves.”

  She liked Tony, but was glad he wasn’t around to see her arriving with her suitcases in tow. “Are you sure he doesn’t mind? What did you tell him?”

  “Only that you need a place to stay. You didn’t tell me much on the phone. He said you have the guest bedroom as long as you like.” Cat took one of Kelsey’s suitcases. “Let’s get out the ice cream and wine, so you can fill me in on what the idiot did. We can unpack later.”

  “It’s only eleven o’clock.”

  “Fine, we’ll make brownies and have them with wine then,” Cat said. “We’ll save the ice cream for tonight and invite Ella over.”

  Kelsey laughed. No matter what, she could always depend on Cat and Ella.

  While Cat mixed up a batch of white chocolate chip and walnut brownies, Kelsey sipped her wine and shared all the events from the previous night. Ian’s request didn’t surprise Cat. Kelsey hadn’t been surprised either. Ian had teased her and driven her up a wall at times, but he’d always looked out for her. He would’ve wanted to know someone was there to do it when he was gone. Cat, like Kelsey, didn’t fault Drew for promising Ian he’d fulfill the role.

  “I can’t believe the jerk went behind your back the way he did.” Cat set the oven timer and refilled their wine glasses. “When a guy believes he knows best, he doesn’t stop and think. Tony included sometimes. You were handling it. He should’ve left it up to you.”

  “He did admit he shouldn’t have done it.”

  “Did you record it? It could come in handy the next time he makes a stupid mistake.”

  It wasn’t lunchtime, but she didn’t care. Kelsey took a sip from her second glass of wine. “There might not be a next time.”

  “You’re not serious. I get it, you’re ticked, and I don’t blame you. I would be too. But Drew loves you. Let him stew for a few days and then go home.”

  She wished the brownies would cook faster. She could use some comfort food. Kelsey took another sip of wine and went to the freezer. Inside she found three containers of ice cream. Opting for the peanut butter one, she got down a bowl and packed it full.

  “Get me a bowl too, but the mint chocolate chip instead,” Cat said.

  She filled Cat’s order, afraid to admit her fears regarding Drew and their marriage. Ignoring the fear wouldn’t make it go away though. “Maybe he doesn’t, Cat.”

  “Doesn’t love you? He married you. Of course he loves you.”

  Kelsey dove into her ice cream before she sat down. “Maybe. Or maybe he married me because of his silly promise. What better way to take care of me than to make me his wife?”

  “How much wine have you had? You can’t really believe what you just said.” She wrapped her fingers around Kelsey’s arm, making it difficult to get ice cream to her mouth. “Drew would never marry you because of Ian. Look after you and try to help you, yes, but not marry you. He’d never go that far. Besides, anyone with two eyes and half a brain can see he loves you. He couldn’t keep his eyes off you last night.”

  She wanted to believe Cat. When they were together, his feelings and actions seemed genuine. People could act though. Make another individual believe and see things that weren’t really there. Was Drew that good of an actor?

  “I’m not sure what I believe.” One of the things Kelsey loved about research was identifying a problem, developing a strategy for attacking it, and then finding a solution. She’d identified her problem, her and Drew’s relationship. Unfortunately, she didn’t have a strategy for finding a solution. “For now, I need to be away from him. Hopefully, I’ll figure it out.”

  ***

  He placed an unopened beer bottle on the headstone, then opened one for himself. It’d been almost four years since Ian’s death, and today was the first time he’d visited the cemetery since the funeral. Sitting on the damp grass, he stared at the words carved into the granite, and took a swig from his bottle.

  “Wish you were here, buddy.” The cemetery was empty, and the headstones wouldn’t repeat what he said. “I tried to keep my promise. Really, I did. Instead I screwed things up.”

  No matter how much he pleaded, she’d refused to stay. Watching her leave had been one of the hardest things he’d ever done. The only thing remotely close was getting the phone call the night Ian died.

  “Kelsey left me. I’m not sure how to fix things. She’s as stubborn as you. No matter what I say, it doesn’t help.”

  The cold, lifeless gray slab taunted him, a visual reminder of what his life would be like if Kelsey didn’t forgive him. “She doesn’t believe me, Ian, but I love her.”

  Drew sat nursing his beer while he wondered how the hell he was going to fix the disaster he’d created. When a couple approached a nearby headstone with a potted geranium, a flower he detested because it reminded him of cemeteries, he stood, removed the unopened beer from Ian’s headstone, and left. Sitting on the ground wasn’t helping. Instead he’d go home and come up with a new play. One way or another, he’d convince Kelsey he’d married her because he loved her, end of story.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Kelsey spotted the gift bag on her desk. “Wonder what’s in this one?”

  The first peace offering, she didn’t know what else to call them, had arrived Monday. She’d returned from the supply closet and found the pastry box from Ambrosia Bakery on her desk. Inside had been two different types of biscotti, as well as several cannoli and some chocolate-covered strawberries. Tuesday, she arrived back at Cat’s house and found Drew had dropped off a basket of assorted cheeses and wine, along with a card apologizing yet again. Wednesday’s surprise had been two tickets to a baseball game at Fenway Park, a dozen roses, and of course yet another card.

  She peeked inside the bag and first pulled out the card. Although a different one, it read very similar to all the others. She put the card off to the side and pulled out a box of imported chocolates. She remembered enough French from high school to recognize the words printed on the box. He knows what I like. Kelsey opened the box and selected a chocolate. Closing her eyes, she savored the candy for a moment.

 
She considered taking a second candy, but passed and reached into the bag again. This time she pulled out the softest pair of pajama bottoms she’d ever felt. Today’s peace offering was by far her favorite yet. Too bad none of them helped her reach a conclusion. Kelsey put the gifts back in the bag and finished packing up the materials she needed to take home. Tonight, she wasn’t taking much. She had an appointment to look at a few apartments after school, and didn’t want to be up until midnight correcting homework assignments.

  What the heck should I do? As she left the school, she asked herself the same question she’d been asking since Saturday night. One moment she made up her mind and decided he loved her. She told herself to believe everything he’d said before she walked out on him and moved in with Cat and Tony. An hour later, she’d be convinced he’d only married her to keep his promise to Ian, and she’d be better off without him.

  She’d discussed the situation and her feelings to death with Cat and Ella while ingesting large of amounts of ice cream and brownies. Both gave her the same answer. Drew was an idiot, but an idiot who loved her. In most situations, she’d accept their answer. She couldn’t recall any instances when Cat and Ella agreed on something and they turned out to be wrong. This time she couldn’t, at least not yet. Man, she wanted to. More than anything she wanted to believe Drew loved her as much as she loved him. If he didn’t, she wanted to know for sure, so she could put her heart back together and move on.

  She’d hoped being away from him would help. So far it hadn’t. If anything, it only made her hurt more. Not only did she not know where she truly stood, but she also missed him. In the past few months, he’d become a key part of her life.

  Kelsey left the parking lot and turned onto School House Lane, the sunlight reflecting off her diamond engagement ring. Despite her conflicting emotions, she couldn’t bring herself to take off the diamond ring and wedding band.

  “Would Drew really want to spend his life with me just because of Ian?” This afternoon, like every day this week, she couldn’t answer her question with 100 percent certainty either way.