The Other Side

by Trice Hickman

  “Here you are, ma’am,” a server said to Tess as she placed a platter of chicken wings in front of her.

  The minute Tess smelled the delicious aroma of Southern fried chicken smothered in bourbon sauce, her mind moved from amateur sleuth into attack mode. She hadn’t eaten since she’d abandoned her oatmeal that morning, and now she was ready to tame her hunger. When she bit into the wings all she could do was close her eyes and smile. One dozen wings came out on her plate, and within a matter of minutes Tess had eaten half of them. “These are the best wings I’ve ever had,” she said as she gave a sheepish smile to the bartender, who had been eyeing her.

  “You can thank Maceo for that,” the bartender said. “That man can burn in the kitchen, yes siree.”

  Tess stopped chewing her food. “The manager is the cook?”

  “Yes, at times,” a deep voice said, coming up behind her.

  Tess turned around to see who was attached to the voice that sounded like a cool drink of water on a hot summer day. The smooth Southern drawl mixed with crisp diction caught her attention.

  “I’m Maceo,” the man said with a nod of his head. “I’m the manager, and I do a lil’ sumthin’ sumthin’ in the kitchen.”

  Tess was so mesmerized that she didn’t have the forethought to wipe the wing sauce from the edges of her mouth. Although he was average height, the man possessed a towering presence that gave him command of the room. He wasn’t what most would consider handsome, but his easy smile, deep dimples, and smooth skin made him look downright dreamy in Tess’s eyes.

  “I hear you have concerns about the way you were treated when you came in,” the manager said.

  “Um, yes.”

  “Can you tell me exactly what happened?”

  Tess was a wordsmith by profession and a trash talker by nature, but right now she was so captivated by the manager/cook that she couldn’t gather the words to explain herself. “The hostess was rude to me,” was all she could manage to say.

  Maceo chuckled and nodded his head again. “Ma’am, I’m so sorry and I apologize for Sandy’s behavior. Why don’t you let me take care of your meal tonight.”

  “Well, thank you.”

  “Do you know what you’d like?”

  A roll under the sheets with you between my legs, Tess wanted to say. “What do you suggest?”

  Maceo smiled. “I think I know exactly what you’d like.”

  Tess didn’t know if he was flirting with her or if he was just naturally sexy, given his Southern charm, but she was enjoying their conversation nonetheless. She smiled back at him and said, “I’m sure you do.”

  Maceo’s easy smile flatlined, changing into a serious look that made Tess’s heart beat fast, then before she could blink, he turned and headed back into the kitchen. Tess couldn’t finish the remaining wings on her plate because her appetite had suddenly left and was replaced by a strange feeling.

  “You aw’right, ma’am?” the friendly bartender asked.

  “Um, yes. I think so.”

  Tess felt her body tremble and her heart was still beating fast. She’d written about this feeling in books, she’d longed for it in real life, and ironically, she’d looked up its definition tonight. As improbable and crazy as it felt, Tess knew that the emotion she was feeling was love at first sight.

  Chapter 18

  ARIZONA

  Arizona was sitting on her couch feeling sick to her stomach with worry. Her mother had just left a half hour ago with Solomon, who was staying at her parents’ house tonight in order to give Arizona and Chris privacy to talk. Chris had been scheduled to be out of town through next week, but this afternoon he’d boarded a flight headed back home.

  Chris had called Arizona last night when she was on her way home from Bernadette’s house, and she’d known that he’d sensed something wrong by the tone and shortness in her voice and responses. She’d told him she was fine, but Chris had pressed her, insisting to get to the bottom of what was bothering her. Finally, Arizona had told him that she was having serious second thoughts about getting married, and the conversation quickly became heated.

  “Chris, I’m not gonna have this conversation over the phone.”

  “You can’t leave me hanging like this,” he’d said. “I deserve to know what’s going on.”

  “I told you that I didn’t want to talk in the first place but you didn’t listen, you just kept pressing and pressing. The things I want to say need to be aired out in person,” she’d told him.

  She’d awoken to a text from Chris this morning that said he was coming home and he would be at her house at eight o’clock that evening.

  Arizona looked at her watch. It was now seven forty-five. Chris would be there in fifteen minutes because he was always on time. It was one of the many qualities she loved about him. He was a man of his word and if he told her something she could count on it.

  The doorbell made Arizona jump off the couch. Chris was early, which meant he was serious and anxious. She took a deep breath and opened the door. The cold air rushed into the entryway and made her shiver. But her chills were quickly replaced by the warmth of Chris’s body. Without saying a word he stepped into her house, closed the door behind him, and pulled her into his chest, holding her tightly.

  Arizona was so overcome with emotion that she couldn’t breathe. She felt Chris’s body tremble against hers. But as they clung to each other she realized that he wasn’t trembling, he was about to cry. She slowly pulled away and looked into his red-rimmed eyes.

  “Chris, baby . . .” Arizona had never seen Chris in this state. She could see that he was trying to hold back tears, trying to be tough. But his trembling body gave him away. They stood in the middle of her entryway holding each other for what seemed like an hour but was really only a few minutes. And within those few, quiet moments, in the safety of Chris’s arms, Arizona knew she was loved.

  After they gathered themselves, they walked over to the couch to talk. Arizona saw small bags resting under Chris’s eyes, a definite indication that he hadn’t slept.

  “Are you hungry? Do you want anything to drink?” she asked.

  “No, I’m good.”

  “Are you sure? Have you eaten anything today?”

  “No.”

  Arizona rose from the couch. “My mom dropped off some food when she came to pick up Solomon. I’m gonna fix you a plate.”

  “No,” Chris said, barely above a whisper. “I don’t want to eat. I want to talk.”

  Arizona sat back down in the spot where she knew she was about to have a very uncomfortable but much-needed conversation. “Let me start by saying—” Arizona was cut short when Chris raised his hand, motioning for her to stop.

  “Arizona, please. Let me start.” Chris cleared his throat. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking since we spoke last night, and on my two-hour-long drive from the airport tonight. I thought about what you said, and about the things that have happened over the last week. As a husband, it’s going to be my responsibility to protect you, honor you, and give you what you need. As a fiancé, I’ve failed you, Arizona. And I feel horrible about that. I was selfish and insensitive, and there’s no excuse for that.”

  Arizona could see that Chris was sincere, and he seemed to be on the verge of tears again. But as she looked deeper into his eyes, she could see that he wasn’t about to cry at all. What she saw was something that she’d never seen, at least not in Chris. She saw fear.

  Chris shifted in place and cleared his throat. “This is hard for me to talk about, but I need to say it.” He paused, then cleared his throat again. “My condition is called microphallus. Some people call it micropenis—I hate that term. But it is what it is. I guess I should’ve told you, but, Arizona, I honestly didn’t know how, or what to say. My size has been an embarrassment for me my entire life. It’s always been a cause of shame in me and disappointment from women. People look at me and see a tall muscular guy, and they automatically think I’m hung like a Mandingo, but I’m the opp
osite.”

  Arizona noticed that Chris was barely making eye contact as he spoke. She wanted to ask him to look at her, but she also knew that right now he was avoiding eye contact so that he could get through what he had to say, so she refrained and listened.

  “As a teenager, I wanted to experiment like most guys do. But I knew if I did it would only take one girl to spread the word and I’d be the butt of jokes all over the school. It wasn’t until I was in college that I had sex for the first time, and it was humiliating. What I’d feared in high school happened in college. It was so bad that the next semester I transferred schools. Over the years I’ve dated plenty of women, but I’ve only slept with three, including you, Arizona. Until we met, I didn’t think I’d ever find a woman who would accept me for who I was, that’s why I’ve been celibate. But from the moment I met you, I knew you were the one.”

  Arizona smiled and thought about their first meeting. She’d thought he must be full of himself because of how good looking he was. But after their first conversation she’d known there was something different and very special about Chris.

  “I wanted to tell you so many times,” Chris continued, “especially after we became engaged. But like I said, I didn’t know how to start the conversation. Then, last week when we made love, I lost it.” This time, Chris looked directly into Arizona’s eyes. “I felt so much physical and emotional love for you that I was completely overwhelmed. I knew you weren’t satisfied, but I was too embarrassed and scared to talk about it. I was embarrassed for obvious reasons and I was scared you were going to break up with me and call off the wedding.”

  Arizona swallowed hard because she’d been thinking about doing exactly what he’d feared, and that was the reason Chris had cut his trip short and was sitting on her couch this very moment.

  “So instead of having the difficult conversation, I pretended to be asleep so I wouldn’t have to talk to you about it, because I feared you would look at me differently . . . as less than a man. That scared me, Arizona. I don’t want to lose you or your love and respect. When you told me that you wanted to call off the wedding and end our relationship, that was my worst nightmare come true, and it’s something I’ve thought about every day since I proposed to you . . . what would happen when we did make love and you saw who I really am. Part of the reason I wanted to make love to you last week was to just get it over with and deal with whatever happened. But when I was faced with the reality of not being able to satisfy you I still couldn’t handle it. I’m so sorry, baby. I want to be the man of your dreams.”

  Arizona reached out and touched Chris’s hand. “Baby, you are the man of my dreams and I love you. And yes, I’ve had thoughts of calling off the wedding and reevaluating our relationship because I’ve been frustrated, angry, hurt, and downright mad. But through all those up-and-down emotions, the one thing that has remained consistent is that I love you, Chris. I love the man you are, I love the father you are, and I know I’ll love the husband you’ll become.”

  Chris moved closer to Arizona and engulfed her in his arms as he’d done when he’d first entered her house.

  “We’re gonna have to be completely honest with each other from here on out,” Arizona said. “And no matter how upset, confused, embarrassed, or angry we think the other might get, we need to talk about our concerns instead of avoiding them, otherwise they’ll become problems.” Arizona surprised herself with how levelheaded and mature she sounded, and she knew that her conversation last night with Bernadette and Tess had helped her.

  Chris nodded. “Yes, I agree one hundred percent.”

  “Sex isn’t the most important part of a relationship, but it’s up there,” Arizona said. “I heard once that when the sex is good it’s only ten percent of the relationship, but when it’s bad it’s ninety percent because it spills over into everything else and intensifies problems that already exist.”

  Chris nodded in agreement.

  “I don’t want sex to be ninety percent of our relationship, Chris.”

  “Neither do I, and that’s another thing I was thinking about on my hour long drive tonight.”

  “What’s that?”

  “That we should go back to being abstinent until we’re married.”

  Arizona gave him a quizzical look. “You want a do-over?”

  Chris laughed and shook his head. “No, baby. What I’m saying is, I think we should spend this time understanding what each other’s sexual needs are and what we like and don’t like.”

  “The only way to do that is through experiencing it, which is what we’ve been doing.”

  “Yes and no. I say yes for you and no for me. You know what I like, which is everything you do because you turn me on. But I haven’t taken the time to talk to you about physical intimacy so I can understand what you want, sexually, which I think goes back to your emotional needs as well.”

  Arizona didn’t know if Chris was trying to throw her off course or not, but she wasn’t clear about what he was saying and she desperately wanted to understand because this was serious. “You’re confusing me, Chris. On the one hand you want to know how to please me, but on the other you want to wait until we get married to see if you can. I think that’s unfair to me.”

  “I’m not trying to be unfair to you, Arizona. I’m trying to love you, the right way. I want to listen and really hear what you have to say, and respect how you feel. I want to practice touching you, caressing you, kissing you, and holding you the right way. I know those things set the stage for the main event. If I can get those right, I know I’ll be able to please you in other ways.”

  Arizona thought about what Chris said, and she had to admit that he’d just made solid points. She was big on touch and feel, and the sensation of flesh against flesh had always excited her, especially if the man knew how to touch and caress her just right. Arizona nodded.

  “Here, let me show you.” Chris turned the palm of Arizona’s hand up and began delicately caressing her skin, and with each stroke of his fingers he ever so slightly flicked the tip of his nail against her flesh as he spoke.

  “I love you and I intend to honor you every day by showing love to you and our son. I’m going to be the strong post that you can lean on when you can’t stand on your own, and I’ll be the example that Solomon looks to as I guide and teach him how to be a man. Through honoring and loving you, I’ll show our son how to treat women and be responsible and respectful in his relationships. And I want us to have more children so we can spread more love into this world.”

  Chris spoke all those words while continuing to caress Arizona’s hand in the most tender and loving embrace she’d ever felt. Her lips formed a smile, her knees trembled, and the soft spot between her legs grew wet with desire. With just the touch of his hands and the words of his mouth, Chris had made Arizona feel passion, desire, and love. She was so turned on that she wanted to go a step further. Then, slowly, Chris decreased his pressure until his fingers came to a stop before gently releasing Arizona’s hand.

  Chris looked into Arizona’s eyes. “This is just a taste of what our intimacy can be. I want to create a delicious feast that we can both enjoy.”

  All Arizona could say was. “Me too.”

  Chris smiled back at her. “I know I let you down, and you have every reason to feel unsure. But I’m asking you to give me another chance. Please trust me, baby.”

  Arizona thought about all the things Chris had said and about how he’d just made her feel, which was a stark contrast to their encounter last week. She also thought about the more practical, real-life implications of breaking up with Chris, and high on that list was Solomon. He was only in elementary school, but she knew the years would fly by and it wouldn’t be long until he’d be interested in girls, and that would lead to dating with a whole other set of dynamics.

  Arizona knew that her father was a good male role model for Solomon, as well as a few of her uncles. But she wanted her son to have a man in his life on a daily basis who would pick up the
slack where she was lacking. She could always see the difference in how Solomon acted when Chris was around versus when he wasn’t. When it was just her and Solomon hanging out at the house he tended to be more clingy and stubborn and not as willing to comply. But the minute Chris was around Solomon became more focused, energetic, and self-directed. She knew it was because she coddled him.

  Arizona also knew that Chris brought a much-needed balance to her own life as well. He was the calm, sensible, and tactful side to her exuberant, in-your-face style. He’d also shown her the importance of financial investments, how to create and stay within a budget, and how to manage work and personal business. She knew that if it had not been for Chris helping her over the last two years, she’d still be working at Bourbon General instead of having taken the leap of faith to follow her passion as a full-time makeup artist. She was realistic about her current situation, and she knew that in the coming months if things got lean, Chris would be there to make sure all her bills were paid and she wouldn’t have to worry about a thing.

  Then there was her family and friends as well as Chris’s to consider. She knew that she shouldn’t worry about what others thought, but she did. Earlier that afternoon she’d talked to Bernadette about Chris when her friend had called to get advice about where to find an outfit for her date with Coop.

  “I want an outfit that has the class of Angela Bassett and the sass of Beyoncé,” Bernadette had said.

  “Well, you gotta have booty to wear anything close to Queen B.”