Heart of Ash

by Kim Liggett

  He took in a slow, deep inhalation, as if I’d just slipped a secreted dagger between his ribs. “You need to understand.” He lowered his voice, a mist of remembrance coming over him. “I was groomed to do that. Your mother loved you, sacrificed herself so Katia couldn’t have you, but my father sold me out from birth, practically threw me at Coronado to save his own skin. Ever since I can remember I was told that the Larkin vessel would bring the end of days. And I knew Katia’s cruelty firsthand, that if she had her way, the world would live in her darkness. Delivering the Larkins to the corn was the only way to ensure there wouldn’t be an heir. It was the only way to save humanity . . . to stop her. I truly believed that—that I was doing God’s work.”

  I didn’t know whether it was the movement, his scent, or his words, but I felt that I was spinning out of control. That I was falling right back under his charm.

  “And then you came to Quivira,” he said. “I remember thinking, how can something so beautiful be so evil? I loved you the moment I saw you. And maybe, initially, it was Coronado’s blood in me, calling out for Katia’s blood in you, but it went beyond that.”

  “Their love was sick and torturous.”

  “That may be true, but when their bond was severed, ours remained, stronger than ever. I’ve made mistakes, but haven’t we suffered enough?” His breath grazed my neck. “We’re like the dissonant chord in the finale of Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony, begging for resolution. As long as we’re apart, there will never be peace in the world . . . harmony.”

  “How do you know that piece of music so well?” I asked, struggling to keep ahold of my senses. “That’s a long ways from the Backstreet Boys.”

  “We still have a lot to learn about each other.” He stepped even closer, his lips skimming my ear. “But I know what makes you tick. I know the feel of your skin, how to touch you, what makes you quiver. I know how you taste, how you like to be kissed . . . how you need to be kissed.”

  With only a single weighted breath between us—just as I was on the verge of giving in—cameras began flashing around us.

  The paparazzi. That’s all I needed.

  As if still in a daze, I pulled away from him and ran out of the Rose Room, into the corridor. I didn’t know what happened to me back there, but the more distance I put between us, the more I came back to my senses. I thought seeing him would bring answers, but it only brought more questions. It was Dane. I could feel him in every inch of my body, but there were things that didn’t belong there. The fierceness of his jaw, the way the light caught his eyes, making them look more brown than blue. The way he spoke. It was Dane’s voice, but the phrasing, the words, weren’t always quite right. I wanted to know how it all worked—how Dane managed to gain control. And here I was, getting sucked in all over again. I was asking all the wrong questions. But this is what Dane did to me. He made me forget. But this wasn’t about Dane or Coronado or even me anymore. This was about Rhys.

  “Ashlyn, wait,” Dane called after me.

  Noticing the utility closet, the same one Rhys got stuck in years before, I seized the opportunity to do this away from prying eyes, and stepped inside, making sure to keep the door propped open a bit with my heel. Dane slipped in after me, but the space was smaller than I remembered.

  I thought this would be easier in the dark, where I wouldn’t have to look at his face, but the closeness only intensified the ache.

  Before I could breathe him in again, I blurted, “Why the sudden interest in my brother?”

  I felt something steel over him, like armor.

  “For you,” he answered, a little too late, stroking the ends of the ribbon tied around my wrist. I couldn’t be sure, because there was only a sliver of light peeking through the door, but I swore I felt the silk coming to life, reaching out for his touch. “Finding him would be the greatest wedding gift I could offer you.”

  “Wedding gift?” And just like that, he threw me off point again. I pulled my wrist away. “Why have you been investigating the Wells, Perry, and Rhinebeck deaths?”

  I sensed a shift in the ether. An infinitesimal crack in the veneer he was so desperately trying to present. “Curiosity. Same as you.”

  “You’re hiding something. I can feel it.”

  He took in a deep breath, and when he exhaled, I felt the glacier begin to melt between us.

  “You’re right,” he whispered. There was something almost intoxicating about the sadness pouring out of him. “I wanted to protect you, but it’s gone too far.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  He swallowed hard. “Rhys . . . he’s in trouble.”

  “What kind of trouble?” I gripped his jacket, every possible scenario running through my head. “Tell me. Whatever it is. I can handle it. I just need to know.”

  “Your brother is responsible for the recent deaths.”

  “But how? We’ve been over the security footage. Rhys wasn’t anywhere near—”

  “Rhys and Spencer are working together.”

  “Spencer?” I balked. “As in your dad, Spencer?” I recalled my last memory of him, slitting my throat, leaving me for dead. “That’s impossible. My brother would never team up with Spencer. And he’d never hurt anyone on purpose.”

  “Are you sure?” he asked, his eyes narrowing on me. “He was pretty angry at you . . . at me . . . at the world when he left Quivira. And we know how persuasive my father can be.”

  “I’m sure.” I placed my hand on the door, preparing to leave. “So, if you have nothing else—”

  “The men he killed . . . they were all immortals.”

  “What?” A chill ran through me, remembering how much Rhys hated the idea of immortality. “But how’s that even possible?”

  “His blood can kill any living thing, including immortals.”

  “So he can kill you,” I said with a shaky breath. “That’s why you’re interested in him . . . why you’re here now.”

  “No. I don’t care about my own life—without you, I have no life—but we need to find him, before they do.”

  “They?”

  “The council. The Arcanum, which I happen to be a member of.”

  “How many more of us are there?”

  “There are twenty-five council members, but they’re nothing like us. They’re born of alchemy, with no ties to the spiritual world, and they can’t blood bind. The centuries spent alone, without a connection like ours, have made them brutal to the core.”

  “But how would Rhys even know who they were?”

  “We believe one of our own has betrayed us. Supplying them with resources, information, making it easy for them to pick us off. A play for power.” He took a step closer. “The council won’t stop until Rhys is buried a hundred feet below the ocean floor.”

  “Not if I find him first. I have my own—”

  “Timmons,” he interrupted. “And how’s that been going for you?”

  “We seem to be keeping up with you.”

  “I’ve seen Rhys, on surveillance footage.”

  “Where?” I took in a sharp inhalation of breath. “Where is he?”

  “Valencia, Spain, was the last sighting, yesterday at the port. I believe he’s on his way to me. The council will be arriving at my estate tomorrow to settle this once and for all.”

  “Settle this? I thought you were on my side, that you wanted to help find him before they do?”

  “And we will. Keep your friends close, your enemies closer.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “I’ve convinced them that I have the key to finding and stopping the immortals’ killer.”

  “And what would that be?”

  “You.”

  I let out an uncomfortable laugh. “If these immortals are as ruthless as you say they are, why would they trust me? Rhys is my brother. My twin. They wouldn’t be
lieve that I’d allow him to be harmed.”

  “You’re right. They wouldn’t. But they would trust Katia to use her dark magic to find him . . . to bring him to justice.”

  “Okay, but Katia’s dead.”

  “They don’t know that.”

  “Wait, are you suggesting—”

  “You look exactly like her. You were her intended vessel.”

  “No. Nope. No way.” I started to leave when he grabbed my wrist.

  “Please,” he said, stroking his thumb against my pulse point.

  I yanked my hand away, pressing my back against the door, not because I wanted to stay, but because I wasn’t sure if my knees were strong enough to hold my weight.

  “Just hear me out. No one knows Katia the way you do. The council fears her connection to the Dark Spirit. All we have to do is pretend for a little while, a few days tops.”

  “If you’re a member of the council, why can’t you just tell them that this isn’t Rhys’s fault—it’s Spencer’s. If we can find Rhys, I can talk to him, I can take him far away, where they wouldn’t have to worry about him ever again—”

  “That wouldn’t be enough. These are the same people who ordered the Larkin killings. Coronado had no choice.”

  “What? I always saw Coronado as this heartless, powerful leader. I had no idea it was the council calling the shots all that time.”

  “There’s a lot you don’t know. And Coronado made his fair share of enemies on the council, and coming back with a new body—having to prove myself to them—well, I’m not exactly on their most-trusted list. I’m lucky to still have a position on the council at all.”

  “Lucky? So this is really about you—helping you get back in the council’s good graces?”

  “I want nothing to do with the council.” I felt a flash of anger come over him. “They ruined my life. They used me to kill all of those innocent people. I can’t let them kill Rhys, too.”

  A stab of pain hit me at the thought. “There has to be another way.”

  “Believe me. I wanted to shield you from what he’s become. I know all too well what it’s like to be betrayed by your own blood, but I’ve gone through every possible scenario and this is the only one where we control the information, we control the search, we control the outcome. Someone on the council is supplying Spencer and your brother with money, resources, names, and if we find out who that is, they could lead us straight to Rhys. But you have to understand the risk. If they ever found out the truth, about who you really are—that you’re not Katia, that I’m not under Coronado’s control—we’ll both be in grave danger.”

  “We’re immortal. What could they possibly do to us?”

  I watched his Adam’s apple depress. “That’s something I hope you never have to find out.”

  The tone of his voice sent a chill racing up my spine.

  “Come with me to Spain . . . tonight,” he said as he pulled my hair forward, seductively arranging it over my shoulders.

  And there was a part of me, the darkest part of me, that wanted to drop everything, leave with him this instant, but I needed to be smart about this. I wanted to make sure I was thinking with a clear head, and in order to do that I needed physical distance from him. There was no denying the effect he had over me . . . over my blood.

  “I will protect you,” he said, toying with the end of the black silk ribbon dangling from my wrist, “no matter the cost.”

  I drank in one last breath of him. “What if the only thing I need protection from is you?”

  As I slipped out of the tiny space, the sound of the silk skimming across my skin did something to me, brought me right back to our final tryst under Heartbreak Tree, but I couldn’t give in to this. It took everything I had to close the door behind me.

  To walk away.

  I knew it wouldn’t take long for the Arcanum guards to free Dane, but it would be long enough to escape his scent, long enough to run from his blood, calling out for me like a siren song.

  8

  RUNNING OUTSIDE, DOWN the steps, I spilled onto Fifth Avenue, gulping down the putrid night air full of awful synthetic perfumes, sweat, kebab meat, and stale hot-dog water. I took it all in—anything to drown out his scent.

  It wasn’t until I reached the park, the safety of the trees, when I felt like I could breathe again.

  “Ash, slow down. I can’t run that fast.” I heard Beth trailing after me.

  “How did you—”

  “Dane told me where to find you, said you needed me.”

  Reaching for the comfort of the ribbon, I panicked when I realized it must’ve fallen off somewhere, but I wasn’t about to go back for it. Good riddance. “You can’t help me, Beth. No one can help me. You should’ve stayed at the party. You don’t want to be around me right now.”

  “Don’t be silly. I belong with you. I told you that. Until the end.”

  A shiver of pain rushed through me. Suddenly, I knew what she meant. It wasn’t until the end of my life, because that day would never come. It was until the end of hers. One day, I would be all alone, nothing but this ache in my bloodstream to keep me company. The thought was unbearable. I’d wasted a year of Beth’s life, and for what? Rhys was still missing, on some immortal killing spree; I was crazier than ever; and Dane still had his hooks in me. I slumped to the ground under a massive oak.

  Beth settled next to me, but didn’t say a word.

  “Rhys is in trouble,” I finally admitted as I grabbed a rock, scratching a symbol in the earth. A circle with a cross in the middle. The alchemy symbol for chaos. “Dane told me Rhys has teamed up with Spencer. They’re using his blood to kill immortals, and now the immortals are trying to kill him.”

  “Oh,” Beth said, but she didn’t seem that surprised.

  “Dane said he can help me find him, if I come to Spain and pretend to be Katia, but there’s something I don’t understand. Dane has my blood. And I can definitely feel him. You have my blood, and I feel you. Rhys not only has my blood, but we’re twins, for God’s sake. Why can’t I feel him? When I reach out for him . . . all I feel is . . . numb.”

  “Maybe that’s how Rhys feels right now,” Beth said softly. “Lost. I know what Spencer’s like . . . what he did to Dane . . . to me. Who knows what kind of lies he’s feeding him to make him do this. But if Dane says he can help, I believe him.”

  The dark feeling rose to the surface of my skin. I tried to rub it from my arms, but it was no use. It felt like it was in my bones now.

  “You don’t trust him?”

  “I don’t know if I can trust anything about how I feel anymore,” I said. “It’s Dane. I could feel him in tiny gestures—the way he touched me, his posture, his gait—but there were other things that didn’t feel quite right.”

  “You’ve been hurt before, but you can’t let that stop you from experiencing love.”

  “Beth.” I let out a deep sigh. “That’s a line from the Facts of Life episode we watched last night.”

  “See, I told you Mrs. Garrett gives great advice.”

  “I don’t think you get it. There was a moment when I asked him about Rhys, and his muscles tensed. And I knew he was hiding something from me. I called him on it and he came clean, said he was only trying to protect me.” I clenched the rock in my fist. “But what if that’s a lie, too? Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.”

  “Oh, that’s good. That must be another Mrs. Garrett line.”

  “No, it’s . . . never mind.” I scraped away the symbol in the dirt. “It’s deeper than getting my heart broken. Ever since Quivira, I’ve felt something simmering in me. A darkness. I don’t know how to explain it, but seeing him did something to me. Awoke something in me. Whatever’s inside of me, it feels like it wants us to be together.”

  “Like hormones?” Beth asked.

  “Maybe. I don’t
know,” I said as I threw the stone into the brush. “But being around him feels like a drug. And unfortunately, there’s not a twelve-step program for ‘I gave my sacred blood to a guy I’d known for seven days and now we’re blood bound for all eternity.’ I don’t even know what to call him, Dane? Coronado?”

  “Danado.” Beth let out a gentle sigh.

  “What?”

  “That’s how I like to think of him. He’s a Dane and Coronado sandwich.” She shrugged. “A Danado.”

  It started so small, a tiny tickle in the back of my throat. I tried to clamp down the feeling, but it spread through my head, my limbs, my chest. A lightness I hadn’t felt in months. “Dañado?” I burst out laughing. “Do you know what that means in Spanish?”

  “Does it mean hump-able?” she asked.

  “No.” I was laughing so hard, tears were streaming down my face. “It means ‘damaged.’”

  “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean—”

  “No. It’s perfect. It’s absolutely perfect.” The laughing died down, but the tears continued to flow.

  As scattered and spacey as Beth was, I envied her. The way she saw the good in everything. “I wish I could give you my immortality. You’d use it to make a difference in the world. All I’ve done so far is amass a shit ton of gold and wallow in agony like some bitter spinster.”

  When Beth didn’t reply, I glanced over to find her staring off into the distance, a hazy smile across her face, her palms held out in front of her. “It’s snowing,” she murmured.

  “Beth? Are you okay?”

  “But it’s not cold,” she said as she got up and started twirling around.

  That’s when I realized she was having a vision.

  “And we’re all together again. Like we were in Quivira.”

  “Where, Beth—where are we?”

  “There’s trees with silvery leaves and a big stone house.”

  “When?” I squeezed her shoulders. “When is this going to happen?”

  She blinked hard, before focusing in on my face. “I don’t know, but we’re going to find him. We’re all going to be together,” she said with an excited giggle.