The Immortal Continent

by Virlyce

  And I didn’t forget to accomplish the task that the sect leader handed me. I completely and utterly robbed the evil sect blind. I didn’t even leave a single tree behind because I remember what Softie said to me about trees on the Immortal Continent. They’re apparently really good at producing qi, so I had to take them all. They fit perfectly inside of these pouches that can hold living things. Let me repeat that, these interspacial pouches can actually hold living things! That means I can store Ilya and take her with me no matter where I go! But she keeps crawling out after I stuff her inside, so I’ll only store her when it’s necessary. Softie says I didn’t understand the purpose of the task, but I’m the leader here! My interpretations are the correct ones.

  So now we’re heading to another sect with Softie driving the flying boat. And Durandal’s forcing me to cultivate because he says I’ve been slacking for far too long. I only spent a day cleaning out the clam-worshipping sect and he claims I’m slacking! This is abuse. Well, at least the Heart Devil Cultivation Technique is fun to do. So many tingles. And it’s really effective! Every few minutes or so that I circulate that technique, the amount of qi that enters me is the same as a dragon’s core. But after cultivating for a couple of hours, there were three popping sounds coming from my stomach that really concerned me. Durandal and Puppers have no idea what they’re about, and Ilya didn’t either, which is why I’m off to find Softie!

  And she’s at the steering wheel. She’s such a dedicated underling; I want to keep her. “Softie!”

  Softie flinched before locking eyes with me. “L-Lucia? You, you broke through three ranks at once!?”

  I did what? Hmm. “Speak in terms I can understand without using my head.”

  “You became a low-mid-ranked spirit-realm expert in the two hours that you were gone!” Softie was staring at me with the same kind of look that the acorn-picking servants back at my mansion gave me when I met them. “Wait. It makes sense if you deeply planted heart devils in all the Little Clam Sect disciples…. That’s at least 900,000 heart devils to draw qi from…. Right. It makes sense, but why do I feel like it’s unfair…?”

  So, in other words, I’m amazing. Right? That’s what Softie’s trying to tell me? “That’s right. I’m the best!”

  Gah!? Durandal pinched my tail! “You say that, but you haven’t practiced any of the practical skills that accompany the Heart Devil Cultivation Technique. Since you’re so amazing, you’ll learn those without any problems, right, Lucia?”

  Please. No more learning. Learning makes my head hurt. “I, I have to practice my Madness Strikes. Mm. Right. Busy, busy.”

  “Weren’t you telling me how sick of Madness Strikes you were just a few days ago? Let’s take a break from them. Why don’t we start with the easiest technique, the Heart Devil Apparition?”

  That’s the most difficult technique! I received the knowledge first, Durandal! You can’t trick me! Normally, I’d protest out loud, but Softie told me I shouldn’t quarrel with people in public to protect my face. And she’s right. If I’m quarreling, then my guard will be down and I might suffer an unexpected arrow to my eye! I was already shot in the heart once when I wasn’t paying attention. That wasn’t very fun. What was I saying? Right. “But look, we’re so close to the next sect. It’d be a waste to have to cut practice short. It’s better to not start it in the first place. Mn. Besides, it’s been two hours since I last ate! I deserve a snack.”

  Durandal rubbed my ears. It felt good, but I wasn’t going to be tricked! Stay vigilant, Lucia! “Yeah, you’re right. You should eat first.”

  …What the hell? Durandal’s being nice about practicing? What is this!?

  “I’m nice all the time.”

  Don’t read my mind, please. “Are you okay, Durandal? You’re not feeling sick or anything, right?” Can weapon spirits even get sick? I don’t think that’s possible. Maybe he’s poisoned. But he hasn’t eaten anything but swords, so I don’t think that’s the case.

  “Are you going to eat or not?”

  “Eat!” I was sincerely concerned about his health! There was no reason for him to glare at me like that, jeez. What food do I have in my ring for second lunch? More aurochsen. Hmm. I’m going to be eating aurochsen for a long while, huh? Oh wells. At least they’re tasty.

  “Softie, are all the sects going to be as easy to ruin as the first sect?” Durandal went over to Softie’s side while I prepared my grill. “Aren’t there any sects that’ll provide a challenge for Lucia?”

  Softie shook her head. “None on the list we’ve been given, no.”

  That’s great! I love easy tasks. Everything should be easier so I can live more comfortably.

  Durandal sighed. “Then I guess there’s no choice but to artificially increase the difficulty for her.”

  Say what?

  ***

  “During this sect’s subjugation, you’re only allowed to use your tail to attack.”

  Lucia froze mid-bite. “Say what?”

  Lucia has so much potential, but she doesn’t draw it out. I suppose that’s a fault with the environment she’s staying in—it’s too weak to encourage her growth. That’s why I’m imposing some limits on her while she goes about placating the sects. And the first thing that she should work on is using her tail. She only ever thinks to use her tail when she’s in a situation where she can’t use her hands and feet. To get her to use her tail in a fight more often, I’ll threaten her by refusing her nighttime wishes if she uses anything other than her tail to attack the sect waiting below us. And since sects have upwards of a million people in them, I think Lucia will get the hang of using her tail really quickly after smacking around that many victims, err, target dummies. “While you subdue this sect, you’re only allowed to hit people with your tail. If you don’t listen, the usual punishment applies.”

  “That’s not fair!”

  “Um, Durandal.” Softie didn’t seem like she was intending on stopping the boat. “We’re just passing over this sect. They’re subordinates of the Azure Dragon Sect, our allies.”

  What? I’ve already established a plan, and I’m not going to let some feelings between sects change that. Once a man decides on doing something, they should accomplish their goal! Disregard the fact I’m a weapon spirit. “Nonsense! Allies support each other in times of need, and Lucia needs to hone her techniques! This will simply be a friendly exchange where she might happen to plant heart devils in her friendly opponents.”

  “Wait, wait, wait.” Lucia put down the drumstick she was holding. “We should leave allies alone. Mhm. It’s not because I’m lazy and don’t want to fight or anything like that. I’m a principled person! I won’t beat up my allies.”

  If that’s the case…, I guess it can’t be helped.

  “D-Durandal…?” Why was Lucia inching away from me, hmm? “W-what are you planning?”

  Why is Lucia so suspicious of my intentions? I’ll look away to lower her guard and ask Softie a question. “Hey, Softie. What’s the name of the sect we’re flying over?”

  “…The Raging Wind Sect.”

  Darn. It’s not a sect founded by an animal. “I suppose they don’t have any guardian beast that I can insult to trigger a skirmish?”

  Softie gave me a strange look. She’s not as easy to read as Lucia—it’s hard to tell what she’s thinking. “…No. The Little Clam Sect was named after the clam that founded it, but the Raging Wind Sect is named after their signature technique.”

  Alright. It looks like I’ll have to trigger this the old-fashioned way. I’ll borrow Lucia’s and Softie’s reputations and attack the sect. Am I evil for doing this? The only thing that’s evil is not pursuing one’s potential to their fullest! This is all for the sake of Lucia’s growth. I’m willing to become hated if it means Lucia will become stronger; this is what it means to be a weapon spirit. I walked over to Lucia and hugged her from behind while resting my cheek against the side of her head to distract her. I used my gentlest voice to whisper into her ear, �
�Lucia….”

  “Y-yes?”

  I could feel her body rapidly heating up in my embrace. Before she gets too excited, I should hurry up and accomplish my goal. I whispered, “Don’t forget to get me exquisite swords while you’re down there,” and then I threw her off the side of the flying boat.

  While Lucia was screaming, I stood atop the railing and fired a few Breaking Blades at the Raging Wind Sect before shouting, “Follow Chosen Lucia! Attack the alliance breakers!” And that’s all it took to convince the Shadow Devil Sect members. They leapt off of their boats and flew after Lucia on flying swords. For some reason, Softie stayed behind.

  “T-that’s the second time you’ve done that….”

  “Done what?” What is she accusing me of? All I did was ignite the morale of our troops.

  Softie bit her lower lip. “Started a massacre using Lucia’s name.” Tears formed in her eyes. Why was she crying? “Y-you can’t keep using her like that…. It’s, it’s wrong.”

  “Huh?” Lucia really picked a good name for Softie. She cries so easily. It’s wrong to force Lucia to grow? Impossible. Ah, maybe she’s crying over the injuries people will suffer if a fight breaks out. But getting hurt is a natural part of life.

  “I-it’s wrong to treat Lucia like you do. Haven’t you seen her scars? She…, she deserves to be treated better!”

  …What was with this girl? “I’m not mistreating her. Lucia’s a lot stronger than you think—she’s just lazy. All I’m doing is giving her the push she needs.”

  Well, it seems like Lucia reached the ground since screams started rising up. Surprisingly, after eating a ton of exquisite swords, I can stay further away from my weapon body without instantly being transported back inside of it. The boat’s at least fifty feet above the sect and I’m still materialized up here, but I’m bound to be taken away as Lucia travels deeper in. Along with being able to stay further away from my weapon body, I found out something else that changed. I can’t absorb as much of Lucia’s qi as I used to be able to. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m incompatible with the qi she’s getting from the Heart Devil Cultivation Technique or if it’s something else, but there’s no doubt that I’m receiving less than usual. At least I have the swords to eat to keep up with Lucia’s monstrous growth, and I can gather my own qi by circulating the Silver Sword Sect’s cultivation technique that Lucia obtained for me at the cultural exchange. It’s great that I can cultivate on my own, yet it makes me feel a little lost, like I’m slowly slipping away from Lucia.

  “What…,” Softie said and raised her head. “What is Lucia to you?”

  What is Lucia to me? I’m not sure of the question’s intent. “What do you mean?”

  “Is she your student? Your owner? Your friend? Your … lover?” Softie took in a deep breath and glared at me with teary eyes. “What is she to you?”

  Hmm? Why was Softie so interested in the relationship between me and Lucia? Well, I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to give her an answer. “Lucia’s my sole reason for living. I want to see her reach the very top, the very peak of existence, whether that be an immortal or a god. I want everyone to know the name Lucia Fluffytail, and I want her legacy to live on forever. I made her a promise.”

  Softie exhaled. “So … you’re not her lover?”

  “…Why are you so fixated on that?”

  “N-no reason!” Softie’s face flushed an extremely bright shade of red as she shook her head. “I, I was just—”

  The world turned black before I could hear her answer. It looks like Lucia went too far away and I was transported back into mini-DalDal. But for Softie to be so concerned about Lucia’s lover and that over-the-top reaction…. There’s no way, right?

  Chapter 12

  It’s been a long, long, long year…. At least, I think a year passed. It’s hard to tell when every day’s the same. And there’s no changes in seasons! It’s always spring here. Or maybe spring is just really long. Hmm. Well, that doesn’t matter! I’ve finally completed that stupid task the sect leader handed me! I’ve thoroughly terrorized, robbed, and planted heart devils in every single sect of Kong County except for the five fingers. Softie said we finished the real task a few months ago, but Durandal insisted on overachieving. Why should we only terrorize the sects on the list? Why not terrorize every sect? …Yeah. Durandal’s a serious slave driver. I haven’t gotten a good rest in a whole year. Attacking three to four sects every day, eating for seven hours every day, cultivating the Heart Devil Cultivation Technique and Immortal Poison Body and Immortal Venom Body instead of sleeping every day…. There was practically no time for decent foreplay!

  And now I’m finally taking my well-deserved break…. Not. There’s a horrifyingly scary cloud floating above our boats. It’s very, very big. Like very big. It stretches as far as the eye can see, and there’s no speck of blue anywhere in sight. If it weren’t for the purple flashing lightning, I’d have thought it was nighttime. Now, this isn’t the first time I’ve seen a scary cloud like this. During this year of plundering, a lot of my underlings jumped from the mortal realm to the saint realm with their stolen goods, and clouds similar to this one appeared on an almost daily basis to rain down tribulation lightning. I say similar because this one is a lot larger than any from before, and more importantly, it’s making my tail stiff. Which means I’m the target. Shit.

  “Lucia…? Is that, um, your tribulation cloud up there?” Softie was inching away from me. Just a few seconds ago, she was cultivating the Heart Devil Cultivation Technique next to me near the steering wheel. “I think I felt you break through to the earth realm….”

  “I’m pretty sure that’s mine.” What to do? A stiff tail is no good. Despite the Thundering Heavens Sect’s name, they gave me absolutely zero practice in fighting tribulation lightning!

  “That’s really weird. According to the technique, it should only take someone fifty million heart devils planted to reach the earth realm if they have no impurities,” Softie was muttering to herself in the corner. “But Lucia eats a lot”—hey! I do not!—“so maybe it was possible for her cultivation to slow down by that much due to her impurities. It’s still ridiculous to reach the earth realm in a single year though….” Softie stopped muttering and raised her head. “Hey, Lucia? How many heart devils have you planted? I want to know before you undergo your tribulation, just in case it kills you.”

  …Softie’s gotten a lot braver during this year. Is it about time to strip her again? Though the heart devil inside of her seems to stop growing so much after every time I do it. Maybe she’s building up resistance. Hmm. Anyways, how many heart devils do I have planted? One…, two…, three…. There’s too many to count. “At least four.”

  Softie sighed. “This is why you’re the perfect fit for our sect.”

  “Thanks for the compliment.” I’ve never been a perfect fit anywhere before. Except for when I made my own place and became an empress. That was pretty fun. I should do it again once I get strong enough. But first, this tribulation’s still gathering more power! I can feel it sucking up the qi from beneath the boats. This is sincerely scary. Maybe if I hide inside one of the interspacial pouches, it’ll go away.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Hiding.”

  “You can’t hide from the tribulation by entering a pouch. Only metal-spirit kangaroos can do that.”

  A what? Why wasn’t I born as a metal kangarino or whatever? This isn’t fair. “Then what do I do!?”

  “Um.” Softie nodded. Did she have an idea? “All the earth-realm experts who’ve survived their earth-realm tribulation have one thing in common. They all lived. So all you have to do is not die. Right. I’m going to evacuate the boat now! Good luck, Lucia!”

  “W-wait!” Which bastard taught Softie such stupid logic!? To survive a tribulation, all I have to do is live? No shit! Ah, but she’s already gone, and all my underlings are fleeing from my boat. Hmm. I’ll put the boat away for now and … Ilya? “Huh? What are you doing here
? You’ll die to the lightning!”

  Ilya shrugged. “Judging by the previous tribulations, you still have a good thirty minutes before your tribulation starts.”

  Right. Ilya went through a tribulation too when she became a tenth-circle magician. I’m not sure how she advanced so fast in a year, but she did. “Are you here to help?” Since Ilya’s been studying for a year, she has the answer to nearly all my questions again like an updating encyclopedia! She has to know a way through this tribulation. I’ve seen how my underlings got through theirs, but I don’t like it. They sacrifice too many items. Items are my blood! Without things to sell, I’ll be poor. And being poor sucks. So I won’t throw my stuff at the lightning unless I have no other choice.

  “Yes. Here.”

  What’s this? A piece of paper?

  “It’s fake money Immortal Continent natives burn for the dead.”

  ...Huh? Fuck! “What is this!? Bully-Lucia-with-false-hope day!? Get over here!”

  “W-wait, wait! I have an actual plan! S-stop! It hurts!”

  Humph. “Alright. What’s the actual plan?”

  Ilya wiped away the tears in her eyes before glaring at me. All I did was give her a noogie. “The Star Phoenix Sect is only ten minutes away. If you fly there and hide inside one of their buildings, then they’ll surely help you out once the tribulation starts breaking things. Remember all those formations you had to break through for every sect? The Star Phoenix Sect should have a massive defensive one since they’re a finger of Kong County.”