Anywhere's Better Than Here

by Zöe Venditozzi

  ‘‘When I was in the army -’’ He paused and seemed to be ordering his thoughts. Laurie wondered if he’d ever told anyone apart from her and the doctors what was going on with him. What was he going to tell Jamie now? A Disneyfied version of events where he had done something unpleasant but necessary? Or would he break down into tears again and give Jamie a rambling, distressed version? Neither option was very good.

  He looked fairly calm, but she was prepared to step in if she needed to. Honesty was great and all that, but there was no point in needlessly upsetting yourself, especially for an essential stranger.

  ‘‘Well. I saw some … that included some,’’ he cleared his throat, ‘‘difficult events that I found very …’’ He sighed but didn’t go on.

  Jamie looked suddenly concerned. It was very difficult to get a handle on this kid. He was so changeable.

  She didn’t want to step on Gerry’s toes, but it seemed important that the boy had a bit of an understanding. ‘‘Traumatic. I think that’s what Gerry’s trying to say.’’ She looked at Gerry and he was looking away off to the hills, his eyes wet. She noticed that the hand holding his coffee cup was fairly steady. That had to be promising. Maybe the whole notion of a problem shared was true to an extent.

  Jamie waited. Now there was no trace of aggression at all.

  She shook her head. ‘‘Any more than that’s up to Gerry, I think.’’

  ‘‘There’s time for that, isn’t there?’’ Gerry asked the boy.

  Not if I can help it, thought Laurie, picturing a bath and her pyjamas. The thought of spending Christmas up here was horrifying. She had no idea if Ed would have chucked her stuff out by now or not. But she reasoned that if that happened she’d be able to go to her dad’s house and stay there for a bit. She could just tell him the flat had been sold or her flatmates had lost their jobs or something. As hellish as going to her dad’s would be, at least it would be warm and there was a telly to watch all the terrible Christmas programmes on.

  ‘‘Okay,’’ She looked at the two of them. ‘‘So what’s the plan then? We can’t stay up here forever.’’

  ‘‘Don’t sound so cheerful about it,’’ said Jamie, back to annoying teen again.

  She tried to appear practical. ‘‘But we can’t stay here. We don’t have enough food for one thing.’’

  ‘‘We could hunt. There’ll be rabbits up there.’’ He indicated the trees behind the house.

  ‘‘Hunt?’’ laughed Gerry. ‘‘Very survivalist.’’

  The boy was hurt. ‘‘I could do it. I’ve done it before.’’

  ‘‘You’ve hunted before? Where?’’ asked Gerry.

  The boy shrugged. ‘‘In the country, with my Grandad.’’

  Laurie thought back to a documentary she’d seen on serial killers. They always seemed to start off killing small animals. Oh God, had she been right not to trust Jamie?

  ‘‘With your Grandad?’’ Gerry asked, almost inaudibly.

  ‘‘Yeah. A little bit.’’ He was clearly lying. He probably just wanted to look manly to Gerry.

  ‘‘Anyway,’’ said Laurie. She needed to get them back on track and back to the City. ‘‘What would we hunt with? There probably isn’t anything to hunt with here.’’ If they left soon they’d be back for lunchtime. She knew she should probably be worried about what was going to happen with Ed and her flat and her job and everything. But all she could think about was getting washed and warm and clean and eating something nice like a baked potato – definitely not a rabbit.

  ‘‘Actually, there is some stuff,’’ said Gerry. ‘‘There was anyway, years ago.’’

  ‘‘Look,’’ she said, sick of trying to be subtle. ‘‘I want to go home. I’ve had enough of this. It was a stupid idea in the beginning and I don’t know why I ever came here.’’ She looked at Gerry. ‘‘We need to get Jamie home before we get into trouble.’’ She looked at Jamie. ‘‘Jamie, we need to help you get in touch with a social worker or something and get your home situation sorted out and we,’’ she flicked her index finger between herself and Gerry, ‘‘have got some stuff to sort out. Don’t we Gerry?’’

  Gerry looked at her with a peculiar little smile on his face. Maybe he thought it was funny that she was referring to herself and Gerry as ‘‘we’’. Maybe he thought that their going home would be a natural time to draw a line under things between them. Maybe he had no intention of ever taking her home and she’d have to try and hitch out of here. She waited, but neither of them said anything.

  ‘‘Well? What’s happening?’’ She stood up, on the verge of shouting. They both looked at her as if they were going to laugh.

  She felt herself begin to cry. ‘‘I cannot be bothered roughing it, when I don’t fucking need to! And besides which, it’s Christmas Day tomorrow!’’

  Gerry stood up and reached a hand out to her. ‘‘Laurie, look …’’

  ‘‘No Gerry! I’m not listening to any more of your shit. This was all a stupid idea. We shouldn’t be out here. I want to go home!’’ Her voice rose to a mortifyingly squeaky level. ‘‘I’m fucking freezing!’’ She backed away from Gerry.

  Jamie laughed. ‘‘Boo hoo! Poor princess Laurie can’t hack a bit of cold.’’

  ‘‘What do you know about anything?’’ She pointed at Jamie. ‘‘You’re only a kid! And you,’’ she pointed at Gerry, ‘‘you’re no better! It’s like being with two stupid little kids, playing at being men! It’s fucking ridiculous! You both need to grow the fuck up!’’ She’d gone too far, but it was too late. She couldn’t bear to look at Gerry.

  She threw her half-empty coffee mug over the wall and then climbed over after it and started trudging up the slope towards the trees at the top. Neither of them tried to stop her and why would they? What a drama queen! How embarrassing, she’d behaved like a bloody teenager. That’s what came from hanging around with an adolescent and a mentalist.

  ‘‘Laurie, come back! Laurie!’’

  ‘‘Fuck off Gerry!’’ She shouted back over her shoulder. She refused to turn round and look at him.

  But after only a few minutes, she couldn’t stop herself from glancing back at them. They were both on the bench and they seemed to be chatting companionably. Bastards, she thought miserably, wishing she’d brought some food with her. God knows how long it would take for her to be able to go back down and face them again.

  Late Morning

  Threat of Rain

  She woke to the sound of a car making its way up the main road. All she’d done was sit down for a rest – she must have drifted off. What time was it? She stood up. It was so quiet here she could make out the driver changing the gears as the car climbed the steep gradient. She wondered idly if she’d be able to run down in time to get a lift back to somewhere she could catch a train or a bus back to civilisation. But then she remembered that she had pretty much no money with her. She supposed she could hitch or if the worst came to the worst she could phone her dad or her brother. It would be hard to explain but she’d rather put up with a grilling than stay here another night.

  The car came to a stop at the bottom of the cottage’s track and then turned slowly in. Oh God! Who the fuck was it? The police? She scrambled to her feet and clambered back down the hill to the cottage.

  ‘‘Gerry! Gerry!’’ she called out uselessly. Would the police have a wee car like that? Surely not! More likely it was a social worker come to get Jamie. Would there be time for them to hide in the woods? She clambered over the wall into the garden, noticing absently that her mug from earlier was no longer there.

  ‘‘Gerry! Gerry!’’ She flung the door open, nearly hitting Gerry in the face with it.

  He grabbed her. ‘‘What is it Laurie? Are you hurt? Are you okay?’’ His face paled.

  Laurie felt a brief flare of satisfaction.

  ‘‘There’s somebody coming Gerry, quick! Do something!’’

  ‘‘What? A car?’’ He was completely unruffled and made no move to run.

&nb
sp; ‘‘Gerry? Come on!’’ The childish panic in her voice embarrassed her but she couldn’t help it. She tugged at his sleeve.

  He smiled at her and nodded. ‘‘It’s okay Laurie. It’s all okay.’’ That must be the army training, she thought fleetingly even as she began to realise he wasn’t going anywhere. She pushed him out of the way and stood at the foot of the stairs trying to see into both the bottom rooms as she called out wildly.

  ‘‘Jamie! Jamie! We have to go! Quick, grab your coat! Quick! Where are you?’’

  He appeared and came smoothly walking down the stairs towards her.

  ‘‘It’s okay Laurie.’’ He smiled at her calmly. What the fuck was going on? Had they been kidnapped by aliens? Who were these two unflappable automatons? Maybe he didn’t realise what was going on, maybe he thought she was playing a prank. ‘‘I’m not joking Jamie, we have to go. There’s a car coming!’’ He stood on the last step and smiled down at her. She plucked at his cuff. ‘‘Come on!’’

  He shook his head. ‘‘It’s alright Laurie.’’

  ‘‘But Jamie, they’ll take you back.’’

  ‘‘It’s okay.’’ He shook his head, smiling as if he pitied her.

  She felt like wiping that smile off his face. She turned to appeal to Gerry, knowing already that it was useless. She could hear the wheels turning on the gravel. Gerry turned to look over his shoulder out of the front door.

  ‘‘Oh,’’ he said, his shoulders slumping slightly.

  ‘‘Oh?’’ shouted Laurie, ‘‘Oh? We’re fucked and all you can do is say oh!’’

  Gerry glanced back at her quickly, a flick of irritation crossing his face and then over her head to Jamie. ‘‘Did you call him?’’

  Laurie turned back to Jamie who nodded confidently. She looked out at the driveway but Gerry was obscuring her view.

  ‘‘You didn’t need to phone him as well.’’

  ‘‘Jesus Christ,’’ she muttered, elbowing Gerry out of the way. ‘‘Call who? What’s going on here?’’

  Climbing out of the Ford Fiesta was Ed’s mum. Laurie stood dumbly as Sandy brushed herself down and glanced around at the scrawny garden and the paint-peeled cottage.

  ‘‘Laurie,’’ she said nodding politely.

  Ed had told her whatever he knew, she could tell by the look of grim satisfaction on her face. There was nothing worse than that told-you-so expression. She’d never seen it before on Sandy. It brought her features into stronger focus, perhaps due to her mouth being drawn into an almost straight line.

  If she was here then so must Ed, she thought, looking into the body of the car where of course, joy of joys, Ed was reaching into the back seat for something. He looked up at Laurie then reached for the door and climbed out. She stood and watched him as he came around the car and held out a packet of biscuits.

  ‘‘Hob Nobs? Are you joking?’’

  ‘‘Put the kettle on Laurie and let’s get this all sorted out,’’ said Gerry.

  Laurie looked at Ed’s mum and shook her head.

  ‘‘No.’’

  ‘‘Laurie, don’t be difficult,’’ said Gerry, squeezing her arm. ‘‘Let’s be adults here.’’

  ‘‘Don’t be difficult!’’ She was completely wrong-footed here. ‘‘Let’s be adults?’’ She stood between Gerry and Ed, not sure who she wanted to punch more. ‘‘Can somebody please just explain what’s going on here?’’ She made an effort to bring her voice under control.

  ‘‘I phoned Ed,’’ said Jamie.

  ‘‘But why?’’ asked Laurie. ‘‘And how? There’s no phone?’’

  Jamie pulled a tiny mobile out of his pocket and waved it at Laurie.

  ‘‘Oh. Of course.’’ What an idiot she was. ‘‘What’s going on here?’’ She felt herself going red. ‘‘I thought you couldn’t go back because of the police and your parents and everything?’’

  ‘‘The police?’’ said Gerry.

  ‘‘Yeah, well, you know.’’ She nodded towards Ed and made a keep quiet face at Gerry.

  ‘‘I never said anything about the police,’’ Ed said.

  ‘‘You said there’d been an accident.’’ She took a step towards Jamie. ‘‘That someone had died,’’ Laurie said.

  The boy shrugged.

  ‘‘Look,’’ said Ed, stepping forward. ‘‘We need to sort things out here.’’ He looked at Jamie and then back at Laurie. ‘‘What’s going on? I’ve got a duty of care here and until …’’

  ‘‘What gives you the authority?’’ interrupted Laurie.

  ‘‘Because I’m in loco parentis,’’ he said patiently.

  ‘‘No you aren’t – you aren’t even a qualified play worker or whatever it is you’re doing at college.’’ She couldn’t seem to stop herself sounding like a fishwife.

  Ed went on, ‘‘and I’ll be in that position until we can locate his parents or caregivers.’’

  ‘‘Parents? Caregivers?’’ Laurie tutted. ‘‘Gee whiz, you’ve really got it together now, haven’t you?’’

  ‘‘Well, actually,’’ said Gerry.

  But before he could finish speaking the sound of another car came crunching up the drive way. They all turned in the car’s direction.

  ‘‘Now what?’’ asked Laurie.

  They all stood and stared at the Volvo Estate. There was an older woman behind the steering wheel and a younger woman sat glaring out at them from the passenger seat.

  ‘‘Oh fuck,’’ said Jamie.

  ‘‘Fuck indeed,’’ said Gerry.

  Laurie’s eyes flicked between Gerry and the boy and back to Gerry again.

  Of course.

  There’d been some half formed thought bobbing about at the edge of her brain, but she hadn’t paid it any attention.

  Jesus Christ.

  How bloody melodramatic. She was such an unbelievable fuckwit.

  The younger woman ran her hands over her hair and leaned back in the seat with her eyes closed. She appeared to be counting. Gerry moved over to the driver’s door and nodded. The older woman stared up at him. Gerry opened the door for her and she stepped out and then clutched him to her, starting to cry.

  Everyone shuffled and shifted, unable to stop staring at Gerry and the woman. Then the passenger car door slammed and the younger woman stood and coughed once. Gerry and older woman stepped apart.

  The older woman looked at the younger woman and then back at Gerry.

  ‘‘Jenny.’’ Gerry couldn’t take his eyes from the younger woman’s face.

  Jenny laughed harshly. She was so like Jamie, it was startling – the same dark eyes and sharp chin; the same high forehead and thin lips. But it was the laugh that brought the similarity into sharp focus. ‘‘Well this is a lovely little get together.’’

  Gerry nodded with a look of sad resignation.

  The older woman frowned at Jamie, who looked down at his feet, shame-faced.

  ‘‘What were you thinking? You had us worried half to death.’’ She shook her head, but her face was full of concern. ‘‘There are easier ways, you know.’’

  He muttered sorry, still not looking up.

  Jenny tutted. ‘‘Get your stuff together. We’ll talk on the way home.’’

  Jamie’s head whipped up to look at Gerry who was staring at this Jenny character.

  ‘‘But Mum!’’ Now he sounded like a child.

  ‘‘But nothing. I said we’d talk in the car. Get going!’’ She pointed up the stairs. Jamie still didn’t move. ‘‘Now!’’ Jenny didn’t shout, but her tone was firm and she was clearly no push over.

  Gerry couldn’t seem to tear his eyes away from Jenny. Jenny was very deliberately not looking at Gerry.

  Finally Jamie made a little huffy sound and thumped up the stairs. They stood and listened as Jamie slammed his door shut, opened it again and slammed it shut harder.

  ‘‘Fucking hell,’’ thought Laurie, but she must have said it aloud, because they all turned and looked at her.

  ‘‘You must be Lau
rie,’’ said the older woman. ‘‘I’m Margaret, Gerry’s mother.’’

  She reached out a hand to shake. Her hand was warm and smooth and she gave Laurie’s hand a reassuring squeeze.

  ‘‘Please excuse my son’s lack of manners.’’ She turned to the assembled company. ‘‘I expect it’s the circumstances.’’ She smiled at Ed and his mother. ‘‘Are you the man from the Community Centre?’’

  Ed nodded. ‘‘Yes. Ed MacDonald.’’

  ‘‘I’m so sorry about all the trouble my grandson has caused you. We will, of course, make sure there are no further problems.’’

  ‘‘Hello,’’ said Ed’s mum. ‘‘I’m Edward’s mother, Sandy.’’

  ‘‘Lovely. How nice to meet you.’’ The two older women shook hands. This was too weird and polite for Laurie.

  ‘‘Are these for us?’’ Gerry’s mother asked Ed, pointing at the Hob Nobs. ‘‘Come on then, let’s have some tea. I brought milk.’’

  Tea? Laurie felt she needed something a lot stronger than tea. Where was Gerry’s hip flask when she actually needed it?

  Margaret walked into the house and they had no choice but to follow her in.

  Laurie turned to look back at Gerry and Jenny. Gerry stepped forward and, without glancing at Laurie, gently shut the front door.

  Late Morning

  Clearing Slowly

  Margaret led the way into the living room but stopped short when she saw Laurie’s attempt at decorations with the old artificial Christmas tree and the ornaments. She reached out and ran her fingers over the mountain star. She smiled.

  ‘‘I hope you don’t mind,’’ said Laurie. ‘‘Gerry said it would be okay.’’

  Gerry’s mother turned and looked at Laurie, studying her face. ‘‘I don’t mind at all.’’ She tapped a finger on the top few snowflakes. ‘‘I’m surprised Gerry remembered about them.’’

  ‘‘They’re very pretty,’’ said Laurie, sounding to herself like a suck up, but she meant it.

  ‘‘They are, aren’t they?’’ said Ed’s mum, stepping forward and looking intently at the star. ‘‘I’ve never seen anything like them.’’