by Joanna Neil
‘You’re right. I’ve been amazed at how he’s kept going. Mind you, we’ve been careful to have restful periods in between. As Connor said, Jamie’s chosen those for himself, so he’s obviously aware of what he can do and what he can’t. I’m just pleased that he hasn’t needed to have any extra medication.’
‘He might only need this one course of beta blockers to keep the hypertension in check,’ Connor murmured. ‘He’s on a very low dose at the moment. See how he goes over the next day or two. I’ve had a word with the local doctor, and he’ll be on hand to advise you if any problems crop up when we’re not here. In the meantime, it looks as though he’s coping very well. As his strength builds up, so will his stamina.’
Jamie was driving his quad bike around the circuit by now, following in the wake of his new friend.
‘I think I’ll go and sit at a table and watch him for a while,’ Chloe murmured. ‘Thanks for staying with me through today. I’m just planning a quiet evening now, so if you two want to go off and relax, that’s fine. You’ve been more than helpful all day.’
‘You’re very welcome,’ Phoebe said. ‘It’s lovely to see him having so much fun. It’s hard to imagine that he was so poorly before this.’
‘Mr Kirk performed the surgery, didn’t he?’ Connor asked, and Chloe nodded.
‘That’s right. He’s a brilliant man.’
‘That’s true.’ Connor watched Jamie manoeuvre the bike around obstacles on the course. ‘I know he has a long waiting list, especially for the adults on his list, but the advantage of children’s surgery is that it can be planned in advance. It works out well when everyone knows the time scale involved and the details of what needs to be done to put things right.’
‘Yes, we knew exactly what was going to happen, and Jamie was prepared for everything. It was still worrying, of course, but at least we had time to get our heads around it.’
Chloe went to sit at the tables in the viewing area, and Connor turned to Phoebe. ‘Do you have any plans for what you’d like to do this evening? We could wander down by the lake and have a drink at the bar, if you like.’
‘That sounds like a good idea. It’s warm enough for us to be able to relax outside, isn’t it? Perhaps I should go back to the house and change first, though. We’ve been out and about all day and I’d quite like to just sit for a while.’
They watched Jamie and his friend for a few moments longer, at a distance. Connor seemed to be taken with the gleaming bikes, and there was a smile on his face that prompted Phoebe to say, ‘Are you wishing that you could have a go? Quad bikes are the thing these days, aren’t they, for men and boys?’
He smiled ruefully. ‘I think I’ve put my racing days behind me. I did enough of that to last me a lifetime in my teens.’ He turned away from the circuit. ‘Shall we start back to the house? It occurred to me that we could maybe sit out on the balcony and break open a bottle of wine if you’d prefer to do that? We seem to have been walking amongst crowds of people all day, and it might be nice to be peaceful for a while.’
‘Okay.’
They walked together along the path to the barn conversion, and once inside the front door Phoebe kicked off her shoes and went upstairs to take a shower. It was good to feel the spray of the water on her face and body, and when she emerged some time later she felt refreshed and ready to face the world again.
Connor must have done the same, because when she went out on to her balcony he was next door, standing by the wrought iron rail, looking out at the landscape beyond.
His hair was damp, gleaming in the evening sunlight, and he had changed into a fresh shirt and casual trousers, so that he looked crisp and clean and wonderfully masculine. His shirtsleeves were folded back to reveal strong forearms, his skin a soft shade of gold.
She stood for a moment, watching him, taken aback by the sight of him, tall and dark, his long body beautifully lean and perfect in every detail.
After a moment, he must have become aware of her standing there, because he turned and looked at her, his gaze wandering over her from head to toe, his eyes widening.
‘You look lovely,’ he said. ‘Serene and beautiful, like a golden-haired angel.’
‘Well, thank you. I feel better for freshening up.’ A smile curved her lips. He was looking at her as though he had never seen her before, and that was strange, but at the same time it was oddly uplifting. She was wearing a summer dress, a floaty creation in pastel shades that were dreamy and ultra-feminine, and she liked the way it draped around her, softly touching her curves and drifting on the air with every movement.
He reached for a bottle of wine from an ice bucket on the table and held it aloft. ‘Shall we sit out here for a while and watch the sun go down over the horizon? The wine has been chilling for a while, and I’ve rustled up some nuts and nibbles. It should be just what the doctor ordered.’
She laughed. ‘That sounds good to me. Bring it on.’
He pulled out a chair for her and then seated himself beside her, pouring wine into fluted glasses and handing one of them to her.
‘I can see why you used to come here,’ he said. ‘It wasn’t anything to do with the children and the activities, was it? It was more to do with the idyllic setting and the sheer pleasure of sitting back and drinking it all in. Being here, you tend to forget how hectic things are at work, and how rushed we are from day to day.’
She sent him a quick smile. ‘I don’t know about that. Things have been just as hectic here. We don’t seem to have stopped all day. It was so hard to keep up with him, I was beginning to wonder if Jamie actually had a heart problem.’
He chuckled. ‘I know what you mean. That boy enjoyed everything so much, it was a joy to see it through his eyes.’
‘Like the quad bikes?’ She gave him an oblique glance as she sipped her wine. ‘No matter what you say, from where I was standing, it looked as though you were getting ready to join him.’
‘No, not really. There was a time when I hankered for speed and the adrenaline rush you get from taking risks, but I lost that. I learned my lesson, that if you play wild and heavy, sooner or later you’ll end up getting hurt.’ He helped himself to nuts from a dish and munched silently, lost in reverie.
‘That didn’t come about after the time you pranged your father’s car, did it? I know you carried on racing for a while after that.’
He nodded. ‘I did, but the novelty wore off eventually and I realised that the stunts were becoming more and more dangerous. Some of the older boys from the neighbouring village were coming over in the evenings and began to ramp up the level of excitement.’
She frowned. ‘I don’t remember much of that.’
‘No, you wouldn’t. I think your parents had banned you from mixing with me by then and, like a good daughter, you obeyed the rules.’ He gave a crooked smile. ‘I tried time and again to catch your attention and wheedle you into going off with me on the rampage, but you would never have any of it.’
‘That was more to do with the fact that I didn’t like the crowd you were mixing with.’ She sipped more of the wine. ‘As I recall, even Alex was worried about what was going on…and his parents had warned him not to hang around with you, too. Those other boys were out of control, and I made up my mind to steer clear. I remember telling you to do the same, but you didn’t want to listen.’
‘Yes, I remember that.’ His glance moved over her, lingering on the sweep of her cheekbones and the soft line of her mouth, so that a flood of warmth ran along her throat and pooled in her abdomen. Perhaps he noticed the effect he was having on her, because his eyes took on a glimmer of amusement, and he reached for the wine bottle once more. ‘I always listened to what you had to say,’ he murmured. ‘It just took me a while to realise that you were making good sense.’ He poured more wine into her glass.
‘And when you realised it,’ she asked, ‘what happened? You moved away from the area when you were eighteen, and I was never quite sure what had brought on the sudden urge to l
eave. I know you had a major falling out with your mother and father and they were never quite the same after that. Was it to do with the accident down by the quarry?’
He hesitated for a moment before answering. ‘Partly. It was inevitable, I suppose.’ He put his wineglass to his lips and took a deep swallow. ‘Things were getting out of hand. I knew that the lads from the next village were looking for trouble. I’d already started to pull back from the more outrageous stunts, but my friend Matt, who was one of their crowd, was still wrapped up in trying to act the part of a macho man. They’d organised a car race along a stretch of disused road that led to the old quarry, and I was worried that something bad would come of it.’
He slowly twirled the wineglass in his fingers. ‘It was doomed from the outset, because the road was full of potholes and there were hairpin bends along the way. Of course, that just made it all the more exciting.’
She stared at him, her hand poised over the plate of cheese straws he’d put out on the table. ‘You didn’t go there to race with them, though, did you? I could never bring myself to believe the rumours that went flying around afterwards.’
‘I followed. Matt was determined to go along, and I was worried. He thought he could take the ringleader on and come out of it unscathed, and nothing I said to him would make any difference.’ He pressed his lips together, as though the memory was painful, even after all this time.
Phoebe frowned. ‘So Matt went ahead and raced the leader? There were lots of theories and suppositions at the time, but I was convinced that you wouldn’t have been foolish enough to take part.’
He nodded, drawing in a shuddery breath. ‘I warned him that it was madness to go along with what they were planning. I told him he could end up badly hurt, or worse, but he’d made up his mind, and he wouldn’t listen to me. I tried to stop him physically, but he shrugged me off and went after them anyway.’
Phoebe put down her glass. ‘I remember reading about it in the local newspaper, about a young man, eighteen years old, who overturned his car into a ditch down by Calder’s Cross. He had to be pulled out of the wreckage…’ She broke off, staring at him. ‘There were whispers around the village about a crowd of lads taking part, but none of that was in the paper.’
‘The true story never came out publicly. It all ended so badly that no one wanted to admit that they’d been anywhere near the place.’
Phoebe frowned, thinking back to the time before Connor had gone away. Everyone had pointed the finger at him back then, and she remembered how he had withdrawn into himself, a sullen, rebellious youth lashing out verbally at anyone who had taken him to task.
‘I was there,’ he said, his voice roughened, ‘and I saw it happen. He took a bend too fast, the car flipped over and he finished up on the other side of the road, in the ditch. His car was a mangled wreck.’
His face had paled visibly as he had told her all this, and now she reached for his hand, clasping his fingers as though she would take away the painful memory and draw it into herself.
‘What did you do? You must have been horrified.’
He nodded. ‘I was in shock. Everyone else disappeared once they took in what had happened. They were out of their minds with dread because he was trapped in the wreckage and they couldn’t get him out, and then they realised that big trouble would follow if people found out what had gone on. I think they wanted to help, but they were young and foolish and very scared, and so they drove away.’
‘But you didn’t?’
He shook his head. ‘I called the ambulance and waited with him. I could see that he was bleeding badly from his chest, and I didn’t know what to do to help him. I took off my shirt and bundled it up into a pad to make a compress, and held it in place to try to stem the bleeding until the emergency services arrived. I talked to him, doing what I could to keep him conscious and comfort him the best way I knew how. I knew it was bad. I was desperately afraid that he was going to die.’
‘You must have been worried sick.’ Phoebe ran her hand along his arm in a tender caress, as though she was comforting the youth of all those years ago, the eighteen-year-old who had stayed there and watched his friend’s life ebbing away. ‘I’m so sorry. It was a terrible thing to happen.’
‘It was the worst…and I knew that it was such a waste, such a useless, stupid event, and it was all for nothing but a show of male pride and bravado. I felt sick.’ His mouth moved awkwardly as his thoughts roamed back over that awful time. ‘The paramedics were fantastic, though. I was so impressed by the way they took charge. They couldn’t get him out of there because the firemen needed to cut the wreckage away from him first, but they reached him through the mangled door and the shattered window.’
He gave a small shudder, remembering. ‘I didn’t think there was any hope for him, but they put a tube in his throat to help him breathe, they gave him fluids to replace the blood he had lost, and all the time they explained to me what they were doing, because I was distraught and scared to death and they recognised that.’
‘Did you go with him to the hospital?’
‘Yes, but they took him into A and E, and then he went up to Theatre for emergency surgery. He had a bad chest injury as well as fractured limbs and abdominal bleeding. It was touch and go. I wanted to see him when he came back down to Recovery, but he was unconscious and his parents were with him. I wasn’t allowed near him again. And then the police wanted to interview me.’
Pain was etched on his face. Phoebe slid out of her chair and knelt down beside him, putting her arms around him. ‘I’m so sorry you had to go through all that. I wish I’d been there with you.’
A rough-edged sound rumbled in his throat, a short laugh without humour. ‘I’m glad you weren’t. You were barely sixteen, a sweet, innocent girl who needed to be shielded from all that. Having you there would just have given me something else to worry about.’
‘I was always strong. I would have helped you through it.’
He smiled then, and reached out to stroke her face with a smooth drift of his fingertips along the soft sweep of her cheeks. ‘That’s what I always found so endearing about you…the way you care so much. You were always calm and centred, and I admired that in you. I would never have put you through that turmoil, though.’ He pressed his lips together. ‘No one could help me back then. I had to find my way by myself.’
She shook her head. ‘Your parents were there for you, surely?’
‘No, not exactly.’ His mouth made an awkward twist. ‘It didn’t happen like that. My father went ballistic when he found out what had happened. He blamed me for Matt’s accident. He said I was up to my old tricks, with no thought for the consequences, just running wild and causing trouble for everyone.’
Phoebe frowned. ‘But you told him how it was, didn’t you? You weren’t to blame.’
‘He didn’t believe me.’ He gave a short, ragged laugh. ‘It was ironic, really. The police accepted what I said. My car wasn’t damaged in any way and there were tyre tracks to show that others had been there, but my father wasn’t listening to anyone. We had a huge row, and I moved out of the house. I went to stay with my sister for a while.’
She gasped. ‘That’s so, so sad. I can’t imagine what you must have been feeling.’ She reached up and held him, pressing her cheek against his in a warm gesture of compassion, her thoughts overwhelmed by the image of the teenager alone in his desperate plight. ‘I knew something had gone dreadfully wrong. I just couldn’t see that you had anything to do with the accident.’
‘I’m glad you had faith in me, at least.’ He wrapped his arms around her, drawing her close to him. ‘Matt’s parents were beside themselves with grief,’ he said. ‘They were bewildered and racked with concern in case he didn’t pull through. Even if he did, the odds were that he would bear the scars for life, and he might not walk again. It was a dreadful time. I used to go to the hospital and hang about waiting for news, but it took months for him to recover, and his memory of what happened was hazy.
When he was well enough, we talked, and he struggled to come to terms with his injuries. He was always such an active person, and to see him in that hospital bed was heartbreaking.’
Phoebe lifted her face to him. ‘He pulled through in the end, though, didn’t he?’
Connor’s mouth curved faintly. ‘He did. He still walks with a limp, and he had his spleen removed, so that he’s on medication and they have to regularly monitor his white blood count, but he’s still around, and able to enjoy life, and in the end that’s what counts.’
‘I’m so glad.’ She smiled and looked into his eyes, and for a moment neither of them spoke.
Connor’s gaze travelled over her features, slanting along the smooth line of her brow and moving down over the pink sweep of her cheeks. His glance came to rest on the soft curve of her mouth, and a far-away look came into his eyes, a faint glimmer of light flickering in the grey depths, a look that was full of hidden promise.
He lowered his head towards her and somehow she knew what he was about to do. When he brushed his lips over hers it was as though it was meant to be, and that wonderful moment of completion was a wholesome, breathtaking expression of the bond that had held them together through all the years.
His kiss filled her with sweet sensation, rippling through every part of her body so that each cell was sparked into quivering response, and a fire raged inside her, lighting her up, urging her to cling to him and fuse with him until they were as one.
His hands stroked her, caressing her arms, the gentle curve of her spine, leaving a trail of fire in their wake. She needed him, wanted him, loved the warmth of his body next to hers.
After a while, he drew in a ragged breath. ‘I was always afraid to tell you what happened back then,’ he murmured, his grey eyes watchful. ‘I thought you might think as others did, that I was responsible.’
‘No.’ She shook her head. ‘I wouldn’t have done that. I know you would never put anyone else in danger. You were reckless, but only with your own life.’