by Joanna Neil
He hugged her to him once more. ‘Thank you for that. It means a lot to me to hear you say it.’ He nuzzled her cheek with his own, and then searched for her lips, kissing her again, hungrily, urgently, as though he would make up for all the time they had missed.
Phoebe returned his kisses, wanting this moment to go on for ever. She loved the way his hands moved over her, shaping her slenderness, gliding up over her rib cage to cup the soft swell of her breasts. Her whole body trembled with desire. Being in his arms was all she had ever wanted. Why had she waited so long for this to come about?
But then reality began to creep in and the dreamy, candyfloss world she had imagined began to melt away. This was Connor who was holding her, Connor who charmed all the girls and left a trail of broken hearts behind him.
What was she doing, letting him take over her heart and mind? It was madness to let him see how vulnerable she was, how easily she would fall into his embrace.
Slowly, she eased back from him.
‘Phoebe?’ He looked at her, sensing a change in her. ‘Are you okay?’
‘Yes,’ she said. ‘I’m fine. I just…I don’t know if…’
He gave a soft, faint sigh, and lowered his forehead to nestle against hers. ‘It’s all right,’ he said. ‘I think I know what’s going through your head.’ He leaned back and held her for a moment or two at arm’s length. ‘It’s okay. I understand. Things ran away with us and now you’re having second thoughts.’ His gaze meshed with hers. ‘Am I right?’
‘Yes,’ she whispered. ‘I’m sorry.’
CHAPTER EIGHT
‘REMIND me some time in the future that you owe me big time for this,’ Jessica said, pausing for a moment to lean against a tree and get her breath back. ‘A sponsored jog might well be a good way to keep fit and raise money…’ she sucked air into her lungs ‘…but the novelty tends to wear off after the first eight or so miles.’
Phoebe was too busy bending from the waist in an effort to relieve a stitch to be able to answer just then. Instead, she contented herself with nodding. Straightening a moment or two later, she managed, ‘Seemed like a good idea at the time.’
Jessica laughed. ‘Don’t they all?’
Alex came and flopped down on the grass beside them. ‘Who’s for sharing a cool energy drink?’ He held out a flask, and Jessica reached for it, sliding down beside him.
‘Oh, yes, please,’ she said. ‘You’re my man. You’re everything I ever wanted.’
‘Say that to my face instead of ogling the bottle,’ Alex complained, holding the flask out of reach. ‘You tell all the men the same thing. I heard about you and Connor when he brings you food.’
Jessica chuckled. ‘Yes, well, stop being so jealous. I’m dying of thirst.’ She slid down on to the grass, putting on her best pleading expression.
Alex gave in, handing over the drink. ‘And where is Connor? He was jogging with us not so long ago, but he seems to have disappeared.’
‘He dropped behind to stay alongside Lisa from A and E,’ Phoebe murmured. It hadn’t escaped her that Connor was still on very friendly terms with the woman, and it was vaguely unsettling to know that he wasn’t suffering any qualms of unrequited love or anything resembling it after their weekend away.
It was selfish of her to feel that way, she knew it, but it rankled all the same. Connor had backed off after that kiss, making no attempt to sweet-talk her into his arms once more, and she had tried to convince herself that it was what she wanted.
She was an emotional mess…that was the trouble. She was trying her best not to get involved with him, and anyway her affections were all centred on Alex, weren’t they? So why did she feel so thoroughly mixed up?
‘And earlier I saw him talking to some man I haven’t seen around here before,’ Jessica put in. ‘Does anyone know who he is?’
‘Search me,’ Phoebe said, dropping down beside them.
‘I think he’s someone from the media,’ Alex ventured. ‘He was supposed to be doing a write-up of the event, or maybe there was going to be something on the TV about it—I’m not quite sure, but anyway Connor was hoping that we would get some publicity and that way draw in more funds for the neonatal unit.’
‘You can’t fault him, can you?’ Jessica said. ‘Connor never seems to do things by halves. He’s worked hard over the last few weeks to help organise this fun run.’ She paused, taking a long swallow of the drink. ‘I think he has well and truly upset Mr Kirk, though, because he’s still talking about the long waiting lists for cardiac patients. He’s trying to persuade my boss to open up the theatres at the weekend, and I think he even spoke to management about it.’
Alex nodded. ‘I have the feeling he’s going to try to get this media fellow to do a TV programme about changing things in our hospitals. He spoke to management about it, but if the consultants aren’t happy I can see him getting himself into deep trouble, one way or another.’
Jessica handed the flask to Phoebe. ‘That won’t stop Connor. Nothing ever does, once he’s made up his mind.’
Phoebe was quiet, thinking things through as she drank the cool liquid. Sometimes, she wondered if Connor still wasn’t on a breakneck course, doomed to set himself against everyone in authority. It grieved her to see him at odds with everyone and everything, because deep down she felt he deserved so much better. His instincts were right, but they would always land him in bother of some sort.
‘It’s true, though, we’re overrun with patients down in Cardiology,’ Jessica said, leaning back against the tree trunk. ‘The outpatient clinics are bursting at the seams, and now one of the consultants has gone off sick we’re in even more trouble. There are so many people on waiting lists, it’s like a deluge every time we open the doors.’
‘Cardiology has always been one of the most pressing specialties,’ Phoebe murmured. ‘Until we find a foolproof way of preventing heart disease, the health service is always going to be creaking under the strain.’
‘Maybe.’ Jessica stretched, easing her muscles. ‘If you’re still wondering what specialty to take up, perhaps you should think about joining us. You’re still having doubts about working with children, aren’t you?’
‘Wouldn’t you? It’s heart-rending. One of my babies from Neonatal was born with a heart defect and he has to have an operation soon to correct it. He’s been really ill, and he isn’t putting on any weight or managing to breathe without help.’
Jessica glanced at her. ‘This is the baby that Connor referred to you some time back, isn’t it? Poor little thing.’ She pulled a wry face. ‘Mind you, I noticed you said “my babies”. That seems to me as if you’re already hooked on Neonatal, even if you deny it at every step.’
Phoebe gave a crooked smile. ‘It was a slip of the tongue, that’s all. I love the babies to bits, but I worry about them all the time, and I don’t think my constitution will stand it for much longer. I don’t have the same problem with adults, because somehow they don’t seem nearly as vulnerable.’
Jessica laughed. ‘And we all know that’s not true, don’t we? You’re a hopeless case, Phoebe.’ She stood up, getting ready to go on her way. ‘I’m off. I want to get to the Riverside Pub and drain them dry of long, ice-cold drinks.’ She looked down at Phoebe and Alex. ‘Anyone else ready to go?’
Alex groaned, and Phoebe shook her head. ‘I need at least ten more minutes.’
‘Wimps, the pair of you.’ Jessica grinned, jogging on the spot as though she was on a spring. ‘See you in half an hour or so.’
‘Where does she get her energy from?’ Alex pulled a face and shook his head. ‘It’s beyond me.’
‘Unlike the rest of us, she wasn’t on the late shift last night.’
Alex rolled onto his back, laying his head on Phoebe’s lap. ‘That’s true. And she wasn’t struggling to prepare for an end-of-month case presentation, was she?’ He glanced up at her. ‘You’ve been a terrific help to me over these last few weeks, you know. This presentation for my consultant is real
ly important and I don’t think I would have managed to get a grip on things without your help.’
‘I was glad to do it…especially since the patient you’ll be talking about is the mother of the baby we transferred to Somerset.’
He nodded. ‘The baby’s doing all right, isn’t she? I heard she would be coming back here in a few days, which means her mother will be able to be with her.’
‘Both of them are doing well by all accounts. It’s just the father we have to worry about. He’s still being kept under careful observation last I heard. Connor was checking up on him in Intensive Care.’
She was suddenly aware of a long shadow blocking the sunlight from her eyes. She glanced up and saw that Connor had come to join them.
‘You two look very cosy,’ he remarked, casting a glance from one to the other. ‘Will I be interrupting anything if I were to sit down beside you?’
Alex peered up at him. ‘Yes, you will. We were just thinking having about a roll in the hay. Go play with Lisa.’
‘Can’t do that.’ Connor sent him a smoke-grey glance. ‘She’s gone off with my friend John. He’s deep into making television programmes about troubleshooting, and she’s keen to find out everything there is to know about medicine in the media. I think she’s planning on specialising in sports medicine, and apparently he knows a lot of the football celebrities.’
Alex sat up. ‘Really?’ he said, wide-eyed. ‘I think I might go and have a word with him. Where are they?’
‘They branched off a couple of minutes ago.’ Connor waved a hand towards a footpath that disappeared among the trees. ‘It’s supposed to be a short-cut.’
Alex was already on his feet. ‘I’ll see if I can catch up with them,’ he said. He glanced at Phoebe. ‘I’ll catch up with you at the pub. If I’m there first, I’ll save us all a table, and we can order lunch.’
He set off along the footpath and Phoebe smiled wryly, shaking her head. ‘I sometimes wonder if boys ever grow up.’
Connor came and sat down next to her, resting his arms on his knees. ‘Of course we do. We just enjoy slipping back every now and again.’ He produced a bottle of water and began to unscrew the top. ‘Want some?’ he asked.
‘Thanks.’ Phoebe drank some of the water, and then handed back the bottle. She sent him an oblique glance. ‘I heard that you were trying to get publicity for this sponsored jog,’ she said. ‘Thank you for that. We’ve had so much interest already, and because of that we’re going to be able to add a sizeable amount to the neonatal fund. It means that a lot of babies will benefit.’
‘I was hoping that would be the case. I know how much these little ones mean to you.’ His gaze rested on her. ‘Have you given any more thought to working with children on a permanent basis?’
‘I’m still not sure,’ she murmured, ‘though I did wonder about specialising in Cardiology…not so much with children, but in general.’
He smiled. ‘I can understand that. It’s a branch of medicine that’s interested me more and more lately.’
She looked at him in surprise. ‘I thought you were set on working in A and E? Has that changed?’
He was thoughtful for a while. ‘It’s not so much that I want to work in Cardiology, but more to do with the fact that I see a lot of cardiac patients coming into A and E. Most of them are on waiting lists for surgery, but their condition changes while they’re waiting for it to happen. It isn’t anyone’s fault, but the system’s bursting at the seams. I’d like to be able to do something about that, either by helping to bring about a change in waiting times or by emphasising preventative measures. I suppose I could do that by writing articles for papers and magazines.’
She studied him for a moment or two, taking in the strong line of his jaw, the straight nose, his beautifully formed mouth. Perhaps it was unwise of her to do that, though. It brought back so many memories of the way he had kissed her, and a small thrill of yearning ran through her. She didn’t want to feel this way about him, but just being near him was enough to plunge her body into sensory alert.
‘I still have trouble taking it in that you’ve changed so much over the years,’ she murmured. ‘It must have been such a big step for you to go from being a wild, unbridled teenager to immersing yourself in medicine. What was it that made you decide to become a doctor? Was it your friend Matt, and the terrible thing that happened to him?’
‘Yes, it was definitely that. I went from seeing no hope for him to witnessing a miracle. The paramedics, doctors and nurses—everyone played their part in putting him back together. I was so impressed by the way they did their jobs. They were utterly professional, and yet it was clear to see that they cared. They brought him back from the brink and gave him his life back.’ He gazed at her, a smile forming on his mouth. ‘Seeing that gave me a new purpose in life. I knew that I had to do something worthwhile.’
‘But you had left home,’ Phoebe said. ‘You said that there was a big row with your father. Did he relent and put you through medical school?’
He shook his head. ‘I kept in touch with my parents, and let them know where I was and what I was doing…I wanted to let my mother know that I loved her and had no problem with her, but I wouldn’t ask my father for anything, on principle.’
She frowned, shooting him a quick glance. ‘Was he the reason you rebelled so much as a boy? You always seem to have been at odds with him.’
‘I guess it was. I didn’t realise it at the time, of course, but he never seemed to be around when I needed him. He was out of the country a lot, running his business, and when he was home he didn’t always have the time or the patience to listen to me. I know he was under pressure, and I suppose I made things worse because I went off the rails, wanting him to notice me.’
She cupped her hand, covering her eyes to shield them from the sun. ‘But your mother was there for you, wasn’t she? Didn’t that smooth things over for you?’
‘Not really.’ His mouth made a wry shape. ‘She wasn’t happy a lot of the time. She didn’t like him being away so much, and she retreated into a world of her own for a while. Then she pulled through that and made a life for herself, taking up new interests. Of course, when Olivia married and had children she became a doting grandmother.’
‘It seems strange that we knew nothing about what was going on.’ Phoebe thought back to the village life and the big house where Connor and his family had lived. ‘We all thought you had a golden existence. It just shows that you can never know what goes on behind closed doors, doesn’t it?’
‘I guess it does.’
‘So, if you weren’t getting on with your father and you weren’t prepared to ask for help from the family, how did you manage to fend for yourself?’
Connor started to pick at a blade of grass. ‘I found work in the City. In fact, for a while I did a couple of jobs, one in the daytime and another in the evening. It was hard, but I managed to get some savings behind me, and it gave me the start I needed. Then I applied to medical school and they were willing to give me a place.’
He reached for the water bottle, tipping back his head and putting it to his mouth. His long fingers curved around the neck, and then he began to swallow, and Phoebe watched the movement of his throat in fascination.
He finished drinking and offered her the bottle once more, looking at her with a quizzical expression. Phoebe realised with a small start that she’d been staring, but she hurriedly pulled herself together and nodded.
‘Thanks.’ She put out a hand to take it from him, and for a second or two their fingers touched, tangling momentarily, sending a shock wave of heat through her entire body. For a brief flash of time she contemplated tipping the water over her hot face, but she came to her senses and drank slowly, letting the water cool her.
She made to hand the bottle back to him, but it slipped a little before her fingers steadied it once more and a few drops of the liquid trickled down her throat and along the creamy swell of her breasts, exposed by the scooped neckline of the t
op she was wearing.
Connor’s gaze followed the trail of glistening droplets, and a soft smile touched his lips. ‘Do you want me to brush that away for you?’ he asked, his voice deceptively serene, completely at odds with the gleam in his grey eyes.
‘I’m sure I’ll manage,’ she told him, a wave of heat washing over her.
‘Oh, that’s a shame,’ he murmured. ‘It would have been no trouble at all.’
‘You were telling me about medical school,’ she said, thrusting the bottle into his hands and fixing him with a warning blue glance. ‘It can’t have been easy for you, and yet you seem to have done well for yourself. I should imagine your mother must be proud of you.’
‘She says so.’ His mouth curved. ‘As to doing well, I suppose that’s subjective. I took advice from a friend in the City, and made a few investments, and I supplemented my income by writing a few medical articles for newspapers and magazines. They were keen on having the student’s viewpoint, along with real-life stories about my experiences along the way.’
He studied her, letting his glance wander over the burnished gold of her hair, and the slender line of her body, neatly clad in jeans and cotton top. ‘It seems strange, doesn’t it, that you, me and Alex have all followed the same path?’
‘Perhaps that’s why we’re friends, because we all think much the same way. For myself, it was because Emily made such a big impression on me that I wanted to be a doctor. Alex has always been interested in medicine. It runs in his family.’
‘Yes, of course. His father’s a GP. I remember his father used to take the time to talk to me and I found myself wishing that he was my dad. He seemed to understand so much. After all, we were related, and it wouldn’t have been much of a stretch to ask him to adopt me.’ Connor grinned.
He looked around. ‘We had a good turnout today for the jog, didn’t we? I guess everybody is going to meet up at the pub. Maybe we should be on our way and join them?’
Phoebe nodded. She watched him stand up, unfurling his long body with supple ease. He held out a hand to her and she took it, letting him pull her to her feet.