The In Death Collection, Books 16-20

by J. D. Robb

  She didn’t leap on the bed; it was more of a crawl. Stretching out on her stomach, ignoring the cat who slithered onto her butt and circled twice before settling, she ordered herself not to think. And dropped into sleep like a stone down a well.

  She felt the dream coming. Felt it oozing out of her system like blood from a wound. In sleep she twitched, and her hands balled into fists. But she couldn’t fight it off, and it took her.

  Took her back.

  It wasn’t the room in Dallas, the place she feared most. It was dark, without the wash of dingy red light, without the icy air. Instead there were shadows and a clammy kind of heat, the heavy smell of flowers going to rot.

  She could hear voices, but couldn’t make out the words. She heard weeping, but couldn’t locate the source. It seemed like a maze, sharp corners, dead ends, a hundred doors all closed and locked.

  She couldn’t find her way out, or in. Her heart was thundering in her chest. She knew there was something else in the dark, something close behind her, something horrible waiting to strike.

  She should turn and fight. It was always better to stand and fight, to face down what came after you and beat it back. But she was afraid, so afraid, and ran instead.

  It laughed, low.

  Her hand shook when she reached for her weapon, shook so hard she could barely draw it. She would kill it; if it touched her, she would kill it.

  But she kept running.

  Something stepped out of the shadows, and on a breathy scream she stumbled back and fell to her knees. Sobs clogged her throat as she brought her weapon up, sweaty finger poised to fire.

  And saw it was a child.

  He broke my arm. The little girl, Abra, held her arm close to her body. My daddy broke my arm. Why did you let him hurt me?

  “I didn’t. It wasn’t me. I didn’t know.”

  It hurts.

  “I know. I’m sorry.”

  You’re supposed to make it stop.

  More shadows moved, circling her, taking form. She saw where she was now. In the room in the house called Hope, the room full of bruised and battered women, of sad-eyed, broken children.

  They stared at her, and their voices filled her head.

  He cut me.

  He raped me.

  He burned me.

  Look, look at my face. I used to be pretty.

  Where were you when he threw me down the stairs?

  Why didn’t you come when I was screaming?

  “I can’t. I can’t.”

  Elisa Maplewood, blind and bloody, stepped closer. He took my eyes. Why didn’t you help me?

  “I am. I will.”

  It’s too late. He’s already here.

  Alarms rang, lights flashed. The women and the children stepped back, stood like a jury at sentencing. The little girl called Abra shook her head. You’re supposed to protect us. But you can’t.

  He strolled in, the big, terrifying smile on his face, the vile and vicious gleam in his eyes. Her father.

  Take a look at them, little girl. Plenty of them, and there’s always more. Bitches just beg for it, so what’s a man to do?

  “Stay away from me.” On her knees, she lifted the weapon again. But her hands shook. Everything shook. “Stay away from them.”

  That’s no way to talk to your father, little girl. He swung out, smashing her face with the back of his hand in a blow that sent her sprawling onto her back.

  The women began to hum like bees trapped in a hive.

  Gotta teach you a lesson, don’t I? You never learn.

  “I’ll kill you. I killed you before.”

  Did you? He grinned, and she’d have sworn his teeth were fangs. Then I’ll just have to return the favor. Daddy’s home, you worthless little cunt.

  “Stay back. Stay away.” When she lifted her weapon, it was only a small knife held in a child’s trembling hand. “No. No. Please, no!”

  She tried to crawl away, away from him, away from the women. He reached down, as casually as a man might reach for an apple in a bowl. And snapped her arm.

  She screamed, a child’s terrified and baffled scream, as the white-hot pain flashed and burned.

  There’s always more of them. There’s always more of us.

  And he fell on her.

  “Eve. Wake up. You wake up now.” Her face was bone white, and her body had gone rigid when he’d rolled her over to gather her in. An instant before she’d screamed.

  An icy tongue of panic licked up Roarke’s spine. Her eyes were wide open, blind with shock and pain. He wasn’t completely sure she was breathing. “I said wake up!”

  Her body arched, and she sucked in air like a drowning woman. “My arm! He broke my arm, he broke my arm.”

  “No. It’s a dream. Oh, baby, it’s a dream. Come back now.”

  He trembled as much as she did as he rocked her. Catching a movement, he snapped his head up as Summerset rushed in. “No. I’ve got her.”

  “Is she injured?”

  He shook his head, stroked her hair as she wept against him. “Nightmare. A bad one. I’ll take care of her.”

  Summerset stepped back, then stopped at the door. “Get a soother in her, whatever it takes.”

  Nodding, Roarke waited until Summerset went out, shut the door behind him. “You’re all right now. I’m right here.”

  “They were all there, all around me in the dark.”

  “It’s not dark now. I’ve got the lights on. Do you want them brighter?”

  She shook her head, burrowed into him. “I didn’t help them. I didn’t stop him when he came in. Like he always comes in. Her arm was broken, the little girl’s arm was broken, just like mine. And he broke mine again. I felt it.”

  “He didn’t.” Roarke kissed the top of her head, eased her back even when she tried to cling. “Look here now. Eve, look here. Your arm’s fine. You see?”

  Though she tried to cradle it against her body, he drew it out, ran his hand gently from wrist to shoulder. “It’s not broken. It was a dream.”

  “It was so real. I felt . . .” She bent her arm at the elbow, stared at it. Echoes of that phantom pain still rolled through her. “I felt it.”

  “I know.” Hadn’t he heard her scream? Hadn’t he seen the glassy shock in her eyes? He kissed her hand, her wrist, her elbow. “I know. Lie back down now.”

  “I’m okay.” Would be. “I just need to sit here a minute.” She looked down as the cat wormed his way between them. Her hand wasn’t quite steady when she stroked along his back. “Guess I scared the shit out of him.”

  “Not enough to make him bolt. He was with you, banging his head against your shoulder. Doing what he could, I’d say, to wake you.”

  “My hero.” A tear plopped on her hand, but she was beyond being embarrassed by it. “I guess he rates some fancy fish eggs or something.” She breathed deep, looked up into Roarke’s eyes. “You, too.”

  “You’re having a soother.” Even as she opened her mouth to argue, he cupped her chin in his hand. “Don’t argue, and for Christ’s sake, don’t make me pour it in you. We’ll compromise this time and split one. I damn well need it as much as you, or close to it.”

  She could see it now. He was so pale his eyes were like blue fire against the white of his skin. “Okay. Deal.”

  He got up, went over to the AutoChef, and ordered two short glasses. When he came back, she took the one he handed her. Then switched them. “Just in case you got sneaky and tranqed mine. I don’t want to go out again.”

  “Fair enough.” He tapped his glass to hers, then downed his portion. After she’d done the same, he set both glasses aside.

  “I might point out that I know you, every suspicious and cynical inch. And if I’d tranqed one of the glasses, I’d have held on to it, knowing full well you’d switch them.”

  She opened her mouth, shut it again. “Damn it.”

  “But I didn’t.” He leaned forward, kissed her nose. “Deal’s a deal.”

  “Scared you. Sorry.”
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  He took her hand again, just held on to it. “Summerset said you got home a bit before five.”

  “Yeah, I guess. Needed the zees.” She glanced toward the window. “Must’ve gotten some. It’s going dark. What time is it?”

  “Nearly nine.” He knew she wouldn’t sleep again, not now. He’d have preferred it if she would. If he could just lie beside her, holding her close, while they both slept off the dregs of the nightmare.

  “You could use a meal,” he decided. “And so could I. Want to have it in here?”

  “That works for me. I could use something else first.”

  “What do you want?”

  She laid her hands on his face, eased up to her knees to press her lips to his. “You’re better than a soother. You make me feel clean. And whole, and strong.” She slid her fingers into his hair when his arms came around her. “You make me remember, and you help me forget. Be with me.”

  “I always am.”

  He kissed her temples, her cheeks, her lips. “I always will be.”

  She slid into him, swaying a little as they knelt on the wide bed in the half light. The storm had passed, but something inside her still quaked from it. He would calm that. He would make it right again. She turned her head, her lips brushing his throat as she sought the taste, the scent of mate.

  And finding it, she sighed.

  He understood her needs, what she sought from him, sought to give him. Slow, tender, thoughtful love. There were aftershocks trembling inside him yet, but she would quell them.

  His lips skimmed a line along her jaw, found hers, then sank dreamily in. Deep and quiet. And she, his strong, troubled woman, melted against him. He held her there so they drifted together into the peace, mouth to mouth, heart to heart. This time, he knew, the flutter of her pulse signaled contentment.

  When he eased her back so their eyes met, she smiled.

  Watching her, he unbuttoned her shirt, felt her hands, steady again, loosen his. He slid it off her shoulders so he could trace his fingers over her. Skin, pale and smooth, surprisingly delicate over such disciplined strength. A low sound of pleasure hummed in her throat as she spread her hands over his chest.

  Then she leaned down, pressed her lips to his ear. “Mine,” she said.

  It shook him, down to the soul.

  Taking her hands in his, he turned them palms up and laid his lips in the center of each. “Mine.”

  They slid down together to lie facing one another, to touch, to explore, as if it were the first time. Long and lazy caresses that both stirred and soothed. Unhurried passion that lit low fires.

  She was warm now, and sure.

  His lips brushed her breast and made her sigh again. Closing her eyes, she floated on the bliss. She stroked his hair—all that glorious black silk; his back—hard strength.

  She heard him murmur aghra—my love. And thought, Yes, I am. Thank God. And arched to offer him more.

  Arousal was a long, slow climb up, gradually up until sighs became moans and pleasure became a quiver of anticipation. When he brought her to peak, it was like being lifted up on the rise of a warm blue wave.

  “Fill me.” She drew his head down until their mouths met again. “Fill me.”

  He could see her eyes, open now, dark and drenched. So he slipped inside her, was surrounded, welcomed. Then enfolded.

  They moved together, a gentle rise and fall in an intimacy so complete it squeezed his heart. He laid his lips on hers again, would have sworn he breathed her soul.

  And when she spoke his name, the tenderness shattered him.

  She watched the night sky through the window over the bed. It was all so still she could almost believe there wasn’t a world out there. That there was nothing beyond this room, this bed, this man.

  Maybe that was one of the purposes of sex. To isolate you, for a little while, from everything but yourself and your lover. To allow you to focus in on your body, its needs, the gratification that was physical and—if you were lucky in that lover—emotional as well.

  Without those pockets of solitude and sensation, you might just go mad.

  She’d used sex before Roarke, for the release, the physical snap. But she’d never known, or understood, the intimacy of the act before him, the complete surrender of self to another. She’d never experienced the emotional peace that followed until he’d loved her.

  “I have things to say to you,” she said.

  “All right.”

  She shook her head. “In a little while.” If she stayed like this much longer, saturated with him, she’d forget there was a world out there, one she’d sworn to protect. “I’ve got to get up. Don’t much want to, but I have to.”

  “You’re going to eat.”

  She had to smile. He hadn’t finished taking care of her, she thought. He never finished. “I’m going to eat. In fact, I’ll get dinner for both of us.”

  He lifted his head, and those eyes, those brilliant blue eyes, narrowed thoughtfully. “Will you?”

  “Hey, pal, I can work a stupid AutoChef as well as the next guy.” She gave him a light slap on the ass. “Roll over.”

  He complied. “Was it the sex or the soother?”

  “Was what the sex or the soother?”

  “That put you in a domestic frame of mind?”

  “A smart mouth won’t get you dinner.”

  Smart mouth or not, he figured he was probably getting pizza.

  She hooked a robe out of her closet then, while he watched her with some surprise, took one out of his and brought it to him. “And a smart mouth isn’t always verbal. I can see sarcastic thoughts in your head.”

  “Why don’t I shut up and get us some wine?”

  “Why don’t you?”

  He left her contemplating the AutoChef and opened the panel to the wine rack. He assumed she needed to keep busy, keep the nightmare at bay. Thinking pizza, he selected a bottle of chianti, opened it, and set it aside to breathe.

  “You’ll be working tonight.”

  “Yeah. I have to do some stuff. I’ve got Mira’s profile, and I want to walk through that again. Put together a progress report. I haven’t done any probabilities yet either. Plus I have to scan the eye banks, transplant facilities, that sort of thing. A time waster since he didn’t take them to sell them. But it’s got to be eliminated.”

  She brought two plates over to the sitting area, set them down on the table.

  “What’ve you got there?” he asked her.

  “Food. What does it look like?”

  He cocked his head. “It doesn’t look like pizza.”

  “My culinary programming skills run beyond pizza.”

  She’d chosen chicken sautéed in wine and rosemary, with wild rice and asparagus.

  “Well fancy that,” he murmured, flummoxed. “I’ve opened entirely the wrong wine.”

  “We’ll live with it.”

  She went back for a basket of bread. “Let’s eat.”

  “No, this won’t do.” He opened the wine rack again, found a bottle of Pouilly-Fuissé in the chilled section. He opened it, brought bottle and glasses to the table. “Looks lovely. Thanks.”

  She sampled a bite. “Pretty good. Doesn’t quite measure up to the soy fries I had at lunch, but it’s not bad.” When he winced, as she’d intended, she laughed.

  “Hopefully you’ll be able to choke down whatever Charles and Louise serve when we go to dinner.”

  She stabbed more chicken. “Don’t you think it’s weird? You know, Charles and Louise, Peabody and McNab, all having a cozy dinner at Charles’s place. I’m pretty sure the last time, the only time, McNab was ever over there was when he and Charles punched each other out.”

  “I doubt it’ll come to that again, but if it does, you’ll be there to break it up. And not weird, darling, no. People find each other. Charles and our Peabody were, and are, friends.”

  “Yeah, but McNab thinks they did the mattress rhumba.”

  “Whatever he thinks, he knows they’re not
dancing now.”

  “I still say it’s going to be weird.”

  “A few awkward moments, perhaps. Charles and Louise love each other.”

  “Yeah, about that. How can they cruise along this way? He’s out there boinking other women professionally, then boinking her for love. What’s with that?”

  An amused smile curving his lips, Roarke sipped his wine. “You’re such a moral creature, Lieutenant.”

  “Yeah, we’d see how open-minded and sophisticated you are if I decided to turn in my badge and become a licensed companion. I’d have a hard time working up a client list because you’d smash all their faces in.”

  He merely inclined his head, in agreement. “But you weren’t an LC when I met and fell for you, were you? A cop, and that took some considerable adjusting on my part.”

  “Guess it did.” And that, she thought, was as good a segue as she could ask for, considering what she wanted to say. “I know it did. But I think, under all that, you’d already done considerable adjusting. Meaning you weren’t just after the main chance, however you could get it. I don’t think you ever were.”

  “In my misspent youth, Lieutenant, you’d have hunted me down like a dog. Not that you’d have caught me, but you’d have tried.”

  “If I’d been hunting . . .” She trailed off, waved it away. “Not where I was going.” She picked up her wine, took a long sip, set it down. “I went to Dochas today.”

  “Oh?” His gaze sharpened on her face. “I wish you’d contacted me. I’d have made time to go with you.”

  “It was work related. I needed to talk to Louise about this psychic chick, and Louise was there today.”

  He waited, but she said nothing. “What did you think?”

  “I think—” She set down her fork, clasped her hands together in her lap. “I love you more than I can say. I don’t have the words to tell you how much. How much I love you, how proud I am of you for what you’re doing there. I was trying to come up with them, but I can’t.”

  Moved, he reached across, waited until she unclasped her hands to take his. “What’s being done there wouldn’t be if you weren’t part of it. Part of me.”

  “Yes, it would. That’s the thing. Maybe you did it sooner because of me. Because of us. But it was in you to do it. It always was. I’m sorry I haven’t gone before.”