The Unusual Mind of Vincent Shadow

by Tim Kehoe

  “Vincent, Vincent, Vincent. There are lots of right answers and we have a week to find one of them,” Mr. Dennis said.

  “I have the answer. High voltage. That’s the answer. I have the kite built, I just need high voltage.”

  “HIGH VOLTAGE. HIGH VOLTAGE. Well, it’s easy to find high voltage. The world is full of high voltage: lightning bolts, power lines, hot tubs, and neon signs. It’s easy to find high voltage. They label it for you, Vincent, they label it for you,” Mr. Dennis said.

  “What do you mean, ‘they label it for you’?” Vincent asked.

  “Look.” Mr. Dennis pulled a TV off the wall. “See this symbol, the lightning bolt in the middle of the triangle?” Mr. Dennis asked.

  “Yeah,” Vincent said.

  “High voltage. They label it for you. Televisions, computer monitors, all have transformers inside them that make—high voltage.”

  MAYBE NEXT TIME

  21

  “I’m sorry, Vincent, but there’s no way we’re letting you go to New York City alone,” Vibs said.

  Vincent looked to his father. “Please, Dad. Can’t you just take a few days off of work and come with me?”

  “No, buddy. I’m proud of you, but I’m afraid I agree with Vibs. I’m launching a new Native American exhibit next weekend. I have to be here. I’m sorry, but you’re gonna have to sit this one out.”

  “Please, Dad! This is a really, really big deal. Only six kids from all over the world were selected to go. I really want to go, Dad.”

  “Maybe next time,” Vibs said.

  Vincent needed his mother. She would understand how much this meant to him.

  “I have worked too hard for too many years to get this close to my dream and just let it go.”

  “Vincent, you’ve only been working on that kite for two weeks,” Vibs said. “There will be other contests and other trips to New York.”

  “I could go with him,” Stella offered.

  “That’s sweet, Stella, but—”

  “No, really. I would like to go. We could stay with Vincent’s Aunt Bonnie.” Stella shot Vincent a look that said, “Let me handle this,” and Vincent sat back down on the couch.

  “Well, I hadn’t thought of Aunt Bonnie,” Norton said.

  “What about school?” Vibs asked.

  “The registration dinner is Saturday night and the Toy Fair is Sunday,” Vincent said.

  “We could fly out Saturday morning and fly back Sunday night,” Stella added.

  “Well, I guess it would be okay with me if it’s okay with Aunt Bonnie,” Norton said.

  Vincent’s eyes widened. He jumped up and hugged his dad.

  “Thanks, Dad,” Vincent said.

  “We’d better get on the computer and check airfares,” Vincent’s dad said.

  “Oh, Norton, honey. You’ll have to call the airline on the phone. The computer monitor isn’t working.”

  “First the DVD player and now this! What’s next?”

  TESLA, TOYS, AND TOILET PAPER

  22

  Eleven-year-old George Spinowski Jr. was thrilled to learn his toy invention had been accepted into the annual Whizzer Toy contest. But perhaps no one was more excited by this fact than his father, George Spinowski Sr. To George Sr., the contest was an opportunity for revenge. Revenge that—in his mind—dated back to 1935.

  That summer, Nikola Tesla was in the newspapers recounting his experiments with his earthquake device and death ray machines, and Parker Brothers released the board game Monopoly. But the invention that changed everything for the Spinowski family could be found in the bathroom. That is where you would have found Northern’s all new “splinter-free” toilet paper.

  On the morning of August 16, 1935, Carl Spinowski walked into the bicycle factory he ran with his brother Mike—George Sr.’s father—with a roll of Northern’s new splinter-free toilet paper. Mike, a lifelong practical joker, was preparing yet another one of his pranks involving itch powder when some of the powder accidentally spilled on the roll of toilet paper. That fortuitous accident forever changed the lives of generations of Spinowskis.

  Mike Spinowski instantly realized that itchy toilet paper, sold as a gag gift, could provide the country with the humor it so desperately needed. So in the fall of 1935, the Spinowski Brothers Bicycle Company became the Spinowski Toy and Novelty Company. And by the end of 1939, the brothers were selling fifteen million rolls of novelty toilet paper in sixteen different countries.

  Mike died in 1962, leaving the Spinowski Toy and Novelty Company, which was no longer very successful, to his son, George. George Spinowski was a mean, cruel, vicious man, and running his father’s toy company was the last thing he wanted to do. But the family was so far in debt that he had no choice. George knew he would have to invent some new toys—and he would have to do it fast.

  George thought about his favorite toys growing up, but the truth was that George hadn’t really liked toys and didn’t really care much for fun. He did, however, have fond memories of his childhood BB gun, which he used to torment the neighbors.

  That fall, Spinowski Toys launched the Puck Dodger BB Blaster. It was a high-powered, large caliber BB gun that looked like the gun Puck Dodger used each week on his popular TV show. Kids loved Puck Dodger and they loved the Puck Dodger BB Blaster.

  The Spinowski Toy Company enjoyed great success for nearly three decades until the spring of 2002, when Whizzer Toys launched the Whizzer Mega Fizzer and sales of the BB Blaster went in the toilet. George Spinowski vowed he would have his revenge on Howard Whiz and the Whizzer Toy Company.

  George was not a lover of science, but the words “Death Ray” in the newspaper headline caught his eye. And when George Spinowski read about the upcoming auction of the recently discovered Tesla artifacts, which were rumored to include a death ray device and an earthquake-generating machine, he was sure his problems were solved. He simply had to outbid the next fellow, and he would have his next big product.

  Surely kids would find an actual death ray much more fun than a Whizzer Mega Fizzer. But George hadn’t counted on having to outbid Mr. Howard G. Whiz himself. And when Howard raised the bid to ten million dollars, George decided he would have to come up with “plan B.”

  George Sr. found plan B in the newspaper headlines several weeks later, when he read, “Whizzer Toys to Hold Annual Toy Invention Contest.”

  STRANGE FLIGHT

  23

  “Code sixteen. Code sixteen,” the airport security guard yelled as he grabbed Vincent’s shirt with one hand and Vincent’s duffel bag with the other. Five or six security guards immediately surrounded Vincent.

  “Please step over here, sir,” one of the guards said.

  Sir? Vincent thought. I must be in big trouble if they’re calling me “sir.”

  “What’s wrong?” Vincent asked.

  “Please step over here, sir,” the man said again. He pushed Vincent down in a chair and carefully placed his duffel bag on a stainless steel table. Now there were over a dozen airport security guards gathered around Vincent’s bag whispering to each other.

  “Excuse me, miss, are you with the boy?” the man asked Stella, who was still standing in line waiting to go through the metal detector.

  “Yes,” Stella said. Stella didn’t need to ask what the fuss was about. She knew.

  “Please step to the side, miss.”

  Stella took a seat next to Vincent. A crowd of people had gathered, and they were all staring at Vincent and Stella.

  One of the guards stepped forward and asked Vincent what was in his bag.

  “Oh.” Vincent realized that his homemade invention might have looked suspiciously like a bomb when it was x-rayed.

  “It’s just a kite,” Vincent said as he stood up. Two large guards quickly shoved Vincent back in his chair.

  “No, no, no, guys, you got this all wrong. It’s just a toy. Really. I entered the Whizzer Toy Contest and I’m taking my kite to New York,” Vincent said.

  “Wh
at kind of kite has all those wires?” the guard asked.

  “A windless kite,” Vincent said proudly.

  “A windless kite?”

  “Yeah, a windless kite. As in, it doesn’t need any wind,” Vincent said, confident that the guard would understand.

  “Yeah, right,” the guard said.

  “No, really. I’ll show you,” Vincent said as he started to stand up, only to be shoved back in his chair by two burly guards.

  “Frank, why don’t you check it out,” the guard said to the man standing closest to the bag. Everyone stepped away from Frank.

  Frank carefully unzipped the bag.

  “Yeah, it kind of looks like a kite,” Frank said.

  “All right, kid,” the guard said, “let’s see this windless kite.”

  Vincent cautiously stood up. He walked to his bag and took out the kite and the spool of speaker wire.

  “You may want to stand back a little,” Vincent warned Frank.

  Vincent laid the kite on the floor and walked backward, letting out about ten feet of speaker wire. He looked up and noticed that a large crowd of people had gathered around him. There were now over a hundred people waiting to see his windless kite. Most of them looked worried. So did Vincent.

  “Here it goes.” The crowd winced as Vincent pushed the green button. Vincent winced, too.

  The kite started hissing. Then a few sparks jumped from the guitar string to the shiny kite, and it soared high up into the air as if it had caught a strong breeze. The crowd gasped. So did Vincent. The kite was glowing blue along the edges. Vincent let out more wire and the kite soared high in the airport terminal. The crowd was getting larger. One little boy turned to his dad and asked if Vincent was magic.

  Suddenly the kite darted to the left. Then to the right. The kite became a silvery blue blur as it darted here and there. The crowd started clapping. People were taking pictures. They thought Vincent was putting on a fantastic aerial show. But Vincent knew something had gone wrong. Something had gone horribly wrong.

  The kite was now diving toward the crowd, and the applause turned to screams as people dove out of the way. Vincent pulled hard on the speaker wire and the kite soared back toward the ceiling. Lightning shot from the tail of the kite to the airport lights high above the people. The lights burst. Vincent quickly gave the kite slack and it reversed course, darting back toward the fleeing crowd. Vincent pulled hard on the speaker wire once again, and the kite flew just above the crowd, zapping the heads of several tall bald men. Vincent reached down and pushed the off button. The kite instantly fell to the floor.

  “Sorry. It’s a prototype,” Vincent said with a smile.

  THE WONDROUS MR. WHIZ

  24

  Howard G. Whiz was thirty-seven years old when his father died. Even though they hadn’t spoken in years, the news of his father’s death devastated him.

  Howard’s father had left no will. So, as an only child, Howard inherited his father’s massive fortune, a fortune built on young Howard’s inventions. Howard also inherited the Carlisle, a six-story gothic mansion located in the heart of New York City, across the street from the Metropolitan Museum of Art.

  Shortly after the funeral, Howard closed the Whizzer Toy factory and moved into his father’s house. For the next three years he lived alone on the top floor of the Carlisle. Then, the morning of his fortieth birthday he called four former Whizzer Toy employees: a computer programmer, an artist, a brilliant physicist named Fayman, and a poet named Earl. He invited this select group of former employees to a dinner where he unveiled his plans to launch a new and improved Whizzer Toys. Howard G. Whiz, with the help of his longtime assistant Calli and the four talented employees, launched one of the most spectacularly successful toy companies in history.

  The new Whizzer Toy Company operated for the next forty-three years out of the first five floors of the Carlisle. In his desire to cut out greedy middlemen, Howard decided to sell his inventions directly to his customers through a catalog called the Wondrous Whizzer Wishbook. Howard insisted that only “the most amazing magical toys” be included in the Wishbook. He put out twenty editions over the years, but it had been a long time since the last Wishbook was published, and because of Howard’s age, many people feared it would be the last.

  LUCKY BREAK

  25

  Aunt Bonnie collected salt and pepper shakers. She had thousands of them on display in her apartment.

  “And I got this one from your Uncle Ernie. Oh boy, did he love to fish. See, the salt and pepper comes out of the top of the bobbers.” Aunt Bonnie laughed as she held two oversized ceramic salt and pepper shakers shaped like fishing bobbers. “And these were my first rooster shakers. Of course now I have hundreds of roosters, chickens, turkeys—you name a bird and I’ve got a salt and pepper shaker of it.”

  “It’s an amazing collection,” Stella said.

  “Thanks, hon. Now, do you have enough blankets, dear? Are you going to be warm enough? It is so much fun to have people staying with me. I want to make sure you’re warm enough. No one has used those back bedrooms in, well… in a long time.”

  Vincent looked out the window as their taxi pulled up. “We have to go to dinner, Aunt Bonnie. Our cab is here.”

  “Okay. Now here is the key. I can’t stay up late like you young kids. Just come in and make yourself at home. My home is your home. You know that, Vincent. You know that.”

  “I know. Thank you,” Vincent said.

  Vincent and Stella walked toward the door.

  “I will be gone by the time you kids get up in the morning. I like to be at the museum by five thirty. I make the coffee. But I will meet you at the show by eight. I’m so excited, Vincent. I wouldn’t miss it. I know you are going to do great. Just great, hon.” She kissed Vincent on the cheek.

  Vincent and Stella got out of the taxicab at the corner of Fifth Avenue and 78th Street. Vincent looked up at the ornate building and asked the cab driver if he was sure this was the right place.

  “This is it,” the cabbie said. “This is the Carlisle, home to world-famous toymaker Howard G. Whiz.”

  “I can’t believe it,” Vincent said. “I’ve walked past this building nearly every day of my life. I had no idea Mr. Whiz lived here.”

  “It’s as big as a hotel,” Stella said.

  They walked up to the front door and rang the bell.

  “Hello, you must be Vincent,” Calli said, greeting them.

  “Yes, and this is my sister Stella. We’re here for the toy contest dinner,” Vincent said.

  “We’ve been expecting you. Come on in. My name is Calli Callosum and I will be your host this evening. Welcome to Whizzer Toys,” Calli said as she stuck name tags on both of them.

  “Let me introduce you to the other contestants.” Calli led them up a large staircase to a ballroom that overlooked Central Park. A dozen people, children and their parents, sat around a table in the middle of the room.

  “Everyone, please allow me to introduce Vincent Shadow and his sister Stella. Vincent has invented a windless kite that, by the way, Vincent, we are all very eager to see,” Calli said.

  Vincent smiled nervously and Calli continued the introductions. “The twins here are Seamus and Liam O’Toole. They invented hockey skates that allow you to skate on air. Very cool,” Calli said. “And this is Gabriella Guzzi. Gabby has invented a sprinkler toy she calls Elli-Squirt. It’s a very cute elephant that, well, let’s just say it’s full of surprises.” Gabby smiled and nodded in agreement.

  “Next to Gabby is Isabel. Isabel has invented a musical pacifier that plays music when it is in the baby’s mouth. Very clever. Alli here has invented a remote-controlled Slinky that doesn’t need stairs to walk. And last, but not least, this is George Spinowski, Junior. George’s invention is the Story Time Toilet Seat, and I don’t need to tell you what that does,” Calli said as she let out a giggle.

  “Hello,” Vincent said.

  “Well, you two have a seat and dinner wil
l be served shortly,” Calli said.

  “Excuse me, ma’am,” George Jr.’s dad, George Spinowski Sr., said. “When will Mr. Whiz be joining us?”

  “Oh no. Oh no, I will be your host this evening,” Calli said.

  “Well,” George Sr. continued, “isn’t that a little rude? We came a long way to be here, and little George Jr. would like to meet the great Mr. Howard G. Whiz.”

  “I am so sorry, Mr. Spinowski, but Mr. Whiz was otherwise occupied this evening. But rest assured, little George Jr. will get a chance to meet Mr. Whiz at the Toy Fair competition tomorrow,” Calli said as she walked away.

  “So, Vincent. A windless kite, eh?” George Sr. said. “What does it do?”

  “It flies, you know, without wind,” Vincent said.

  “What, do you have a fan attached to the kite or something?” George Jr. asked.

  “No. No fan. Actually, it has no moving parts,” Vincent said.

  “Yeah, no moving parts,” the two Georges said in unison, and laughed until they realized Vincent wasn’t kidding.

  “How did you do that?” George Sr. asked, now sounding a little nervous.

  “You’ll have to wait and find out tomorrow,” Stella said.

  Waiters started to bring out the food. And they kept bringing it. Course after course. Vincent was completely stuffed by the end of the eighth course and decided to pass on dessert.

  “Okay, if everyone will follow me, we would like to get a few pictures of all the young inventors with their spectacular inventions,” Calli said as she led them into an adjacent room where the inventions had been carefully placed on a table.

  “Wow, that looks so cool,” Liam said as he ran over to Vincent’s kite.

  Seamus tried to pick up Alli’s remote-controlled Slinky, but got a shock.