Every Single Heartbeat

by Abbye J Leen

  What an asshole!

  Joseph, who’s sitting next to me, seems to be the chilliest of us all.

  "So, are you ready for college?" He asks, laying his arm on the back rail of my chair, purposely touching my shoulder.

  "Well, I'm a little upset about having to leave school, but I am so very eager to get away from this place,"

  “Yeah, I get you. Well, what do you say if we hang out sometimes? I mean, our Colleges won’t be all that far… "

  "Well, given that you’re Nolan’s friend I’m sure we'll definitely see each other around!" I say, trying to end the conversation as soon as possible. Lucky for me, the principal’s, just finished giving his speech on stage, meaning it is officially time for us to start celebrating!

  ***

  Graduation’s over, even though it was an exhaustingly long ceremony! I hug and say bye to dad who, threatened by Amelia, managed to get out of bed and come here today and then I hug her too, thanking her for everything she’s always done for me. She wipes a tear of joy off her face, as she tells me how proud of me she is.

  When she drives dad back home, I get back to my classmates.

  We’re all still in turmoil, Holly and her friends just won’t stop whining, while Viky and I hug each other tightly, promising each other that we’ll be keeping in touch no matter what. From a distance, I notice Noah frowning in my direction, but I can’t really tell what he’s doing that for. Maybe he’s looking at Joseph behind me, I know that the two of them don’t get along, so it could be, who knows, I honestly can’t bring myself to care.

  Some of the boys suddenly burst out laughing, making me snap out of it.

  ” Come on Noah, you have to kiss her! She's the only girl missing from your list!" Everyone incites him, while Holly stands there, right in front of him.

  For the first time ever, although I’ve watched him ‘get busy’ with several other girls before, I start feeling all choked up, as my heart slowly tears apart.

  Don't do it, Noah…

  "You should also be kissing Ellie, then" says Andrew, one of his teammates.

  I stare at him enraged, while Noah replies: "Ellie was a cheerleader for a day only, she doesn’t count!"

  He looks at me, smiling and I look back at him, pissed off. I don't know why, but such an unexplainable urge to cry right now. As the boys keep screaming and shouting in excitement, Noah cups Holly’s shoulders, then looks at her.

  My stomach contracts and I just want to throw up.

  He presses his lips against hers and feels her up, just like he did with me last night, while she kisses him back and sneaks her hand underneath his shirt… Damn, he could have at least kept his toga on. I hear someone shouting a "go get a room”, while I can’t do anything other than stand still and slowly die on the inside.

  Silly, silly Ellie… what were you thinking? Did you actually think that he’d treat you right, just because you’ve known each other for a while?

  I want to get the hell away from here, but as I’m walking away Joseph grabs me by the arm and announces:

  "Hey guys, wait! This will perhaps be the last chance I get to do this so, fuck it… I dare ‘Ellie the Untouchable’ to kiss me!"

  Nolan laughs, while Noah turns completely red in the face.

  “You’re not daring her to do nothing, pal" says Noah furiously.

  "Mind your own fucking business, why don’t you?" I tell him, throwing myself straight into Joseph's arms, without even really knowing why.

  Noah

  8

  Anger takes over me instantly. What the fuck do they think they’re doing?

  It's as if everything were happening in slow-motion and just the moment before their lips touch, I instinctively pull Ellie away and place myself in front of her: "Don’t you fucking dare go near her again!" I threaten Joseph.

  Nolan’s laughing up his sleeve and I can’t understand why, but little does it matter because all I care about right now is Ellie staying safe and away from people who aren’t me.

  "You should take a chill pill dude, she's not your girlfriend, she’s just a childhood friend that tags along with you sometimes. You either start fucking her or one of us will!" Joseph replies defiantly.

  I’m blinded by rage hearing this but, just as I’m about to disfigure Joseph’s face, Ellie stops me, grabbing onto my belt and pulling me backwards.

  "Noah!" she cries out, but anything else she’s saying sounds muffled to me, because I’m absolutely clouded by anger and jealousy right now. No one can speak about Ellie that way, absolutely no one.

  Only when Nolan steps in between us, do I begin to reason again.

  "Hey man, this is just not worth it. Get her away from here” - he says, looking at Joseph as if he was dead meat already, then adds - “I'll take care of this asshole."

  I angrily grab by the wrist Ellie and take her with me.

  It's all her fault if I ended up risking my scholarship again, on the very day we’re graduating, too!

  "You really don't want me to get a scholarship, do you?" I bawl at her.

  "Oh shut up you asshole! You just keep going around doing whatever you want, but then lose your mind completely if a guy comes near me. You’re being ridiculous!" She responds, furiously.

  "What!? You’re the one being ridiculous here, shamelessly throwing yourself into his arms! I bet you did it just because you saw me kissing Holly!” I accuse her.

  "You know, I get to see you hook up with at least five different girls a week, so Holly was actually no biggie to me. Of course, you could have avoided smooching her face right in front of me, after what happened last night… but we all know that you’re just too much of an asshole, who cares about nothing but himself, to have any regards for others!"

  Her words hit me right in the face and it hurts. I kissed Holly only to prove myself that what had happened between Ellie and I meant nothing, but all I did was end up realizing just how wrong I was.

  "I never meant to hurt you" I say sincerely.

  "Get off your high horse, Noah" she replies and, without even looking at me, she turns around and leaves.

  I can't believe it… Me? Get off my high horse?! I probably should. Although I’m never going to admit it to her.

  I drive back home, grumbling. All I can think about is the need to distract myself, so I decide to hit up Suzanne, who’s usually always available. She responds in a matter of seconds, asking me to meet her over at her apartment in thirty minutes. Awesome!

  I briefly stop by my house first and as I enter a pungent smell of cigarettes and alcohol inevitably hits my nostrils. I hate this house and I hate everything it represents. I can’t wait to leave this place and I thank God everyday because the scholarship I’ve won will finally allow me to do so.

  I say hi to my mom, who’s intent on feeding that lousy, pathetic loser who is my father, then kiss her on the cheek, as she congratulates me once again for graduating and reaffirming how proud of me, she is. Her words comfort me for a couple of seconds, but reality strikes back in as soon as I notice the usual cheap bottle of whiskey in my father’s hands as he watches TV. I’ve decided that I’m just going to ignore his existence entirely, as to avoid useless bickering about how disappointing I am to him, for whatever reason. I shower, prep myself real quick, then grab my car keys and head out immediately to Suzanne’s house, telling mom that I won’t be back for dinner.

  "Come on in" she shouts from the portico. I can hear loud music and people chattering from the inside and as I take a better look around, I also notice there’s an incredible amount cars parked in the driveway. I hadn't taken this option into consideration, but the fact that Suzanne might be having a party seems pretty evident to me at this point. Nothing to complain about though, quite the opposite actually, because I’ve got multiple fucks to choose from now! Suddenly, she pops out: High ponytail, a dazzling smile and a miniskirt so mini, that it barely covers her ass. She hops towards me, then wraps her arms tightly around my neck.

  "Noah! My G
od, I’m going to miss you so much!" Suzanne squeaks.

  "Babe, don’t worry. I’m sure you’ll find someone to replace me with in no-time" I say, as she hands me a drink, making way to the garden, where the real fun’s at.

  Holly’s there, in a mini dress that leaves nothing to unveil;

  I also see Joseph, that massive twat and Nolan, standing not too far from him. I spot Viky in the distance too and I’m relieved to see she that she’s come here on her own, seeing that Ellie and her are best friends... And that I’ve come here precisely to get her out of my head.

  "Hey man" I tell Nolan, walking in his direction.

  "Nice party, isn’t it?" says he, looking at the beautiful, half-naked girls sitting on the poolside.

  "Yeah, it’s not bad at all" I agree with him.

  "I can't believe that we'll be going our separate ways, soon enough. You with Ellie… and I with myself. It feels unreal. We’ll be away from each other for the first time ever. I regret not choosing the same college as you guys…"

  "I regret choosing the same one as Ellie if that makes you feel any better" I lie.

  "Ehmm, thank you very much, asshole!" Says Ellie, standing right behind me and I can't help but stiffen.

  Fuck… I just keep digging my own grave deeper.

  "Oh, don’t you pout! You know I didn’t actually mean that, I was just joking" I tell her.

  "If you say so. Let’s go grab a drink, Vik" she says, leaving without paying any attention to me.

  I stand there in awe as she walks off, contemplating her, she gives off a light so bright, that it makes her shine more than the sun itself. Her smooth, lucent hair falls delightfully on her back as usual, vivid red lipstick exquisitely highlights her lips and her deep blue eyes are somehow more hypnotizing than ever. She wears a tight skirt that perfectly wraps around her ass and what’s really fantastic about it is that on her, it doesn’t look vulgar at all. Her fairy-light skin is enhanced by a dark black top, that leaves her little navel piercing showing and that I really cannot seem to stop staring at. This has to stop, my desire for her is growing out of proportion… and to think that I came here to forget about her for a while!

  "What's wrong, dude?" Asks Nolan.

  "Nothing." I reply, sharply.

  "Quit the bullshit, please. What’s making me angry right now is not you, denying the fact that you like Ellie, but rather how you’re not being honest with me right now, whereas I always have been with you"

  “You’ve always liked her."

  "You too, Noah, even if you never admitted it. I won’t be the one to stop you but, don’t you dare mess around with her. You have to be absolutely certain of your feelings and intentions" says he, seriously.

  I nod, absorbing his every word but despite the seriousness of our discussion, I just can’t stop staring at her, she has me absolutely mesmerized.

  It’s almost midnight, Viky and Ellie are sensually dancing to the notes of "Let You Down", as they keep laughing and joking around with each other. I haven’t taken my eyes off her all night, given the number of perverts present here tonight.

  "Hey, wanna go for a room-tour with me?" Suzanne asks, softly placing her lips on my neck. I encircle her waist and smile, but only to make my answer easier on her.

  "I'm fine where I am right now, thank you." I say, looking back towards Ellie’s direction.

  When a slow song comes on, Suzanne draws me near the pool, where everybody’s dancing to the notes of "Leave a light on", but I still can’t do anything other than look at Ellie, and Joseph apparently, who’s wasted absolutely no time to get his hands on her!

  I hate having to watch boys mess around with her, it turns my mood completely upside down. I’m so nervous right now, all I can think about is how much I’d like to rip that twat’s face off.

  I try to get my shit together, while the asshole puts his hands around Ellie’s waist and pulls her dangerously too close to him, as she wraps her arms tightly around his neck.

  I close my eyes for a second and breathe.

  Get ahold of your fucking self, Noah!

  Ellie

  9

  Joseph’s standing way too close to me as we’re dancing and maybe this is the booze talking right now, but I don’t really mind and I’m actually starting to like it.

  I laugh and joke around with him, while Noah keeps dancing cheek to cheek with that ever, so precious ‘Suzanne’ of his.

  I can't help but wonder why he’s still even here, dancing with her, when he could have taken her upstairs already, in one of the many rooms available. When the music fades, I thank Joseph, who doesn’t seem intentioned to leave yet.

  “Let’s to for a walk on the beach” he says, his hands still on my waist.

  "Thanks, but I came here with Viky" I say, pointing at her, but it's not like I would have accepted otherwise. The urge not to say what I’m thinking out-loud is strong and growing but I somehow manage to restrain myself.

  "You sure?" He asks, bringing his face far too close to mine, while I try to distance myself instead.

  "Whatever it is that you’re offering her pal, she’s very evidently saying no to, so I’m not going to ask you twice: get your fucking hands off of her, unless you want to wind up in the hospital with a bleeding face and a broken nose" says Noah threateningly.

  For the first time today I would actually like to thank him, Joseph was definitely being inappropriate. The moment he lets me go, I move away from him and towards Noah, who’s holding his hand out for me to grab, which I do, with immense pleasure.

  I watch him drink the rest of his beer, as he pulls me away with him, without ever letting go of my hand. When "Perfect" starts playing in the background, Noah puts down his cup down on a table and holds me into his arms, slowly swaying with me to the music. He embraces me tightly and protectively, while I gently lay my face on his chest. I can feel his heart beating louder and faster, just like mine and that leaves me wondering whether he’s feeling those damn butterflies in the stomach, too. The music keeps playing, when Noah suddenly does something I never would have expected him to do, especially not in front of everyone: he gently cups my face, brings it closer to his and at once, he kisses me.

  This kiss has nothing to do with last night’s kiss, that was voracious, insatiable and rough... This instead is silky, gentle and slow-paced. Our tongues passionately whirl together, as I run my hands through his hair and softly caresses my cheeks.

  He briefly pulls his lips away from mine, but only to whisper the lyrics of the song that go: "Well I found a woman, stronger than anyone I know; she shares my drams, I hope that someday I'll share her home". He smiles, then kisses me once again, before grabbing my hand and drawing me God knows where with him.

  I'm think I’m going to faint.

  The beach that Joseph wanted to take me to is deserted, Noah and I are strolling on it hand in hand, without saying a single word to each other. He suddenly stops and sighs and I don't really know what to do.

  "Ellie, I... I don't know what to say"

  "Just be quiet, then" and indeed he does, instead of using those wonderful lips of his to talk, he starts making out with me, passionately and eagerly.

  I somehow find myself lied down on the ground, definitely not giving enough weight to the fact that I’ll be digging bits of sand out of my every hole for the next couple of days.

  Noah settles himself between my legs, caressing my thigh and moving slowly up to my hips, as his rock, hard boner presses forcefully against the most sensitive part of my body.

  He slides under my shirt, his touch leaving a seemingly fiery trail behind. I am utterly enthralled and delighted, to the point I almost forget what my name even is. I imitate him, touching him under his shirt thoroughly. My lips momentarily give his a break, but only to keep going at it elsewhere, I slowly start sucking, kissing and biting his neck and in response to that, his groans become so guttural, so animalistic almost, that I lose my mind completely. My hips seem to be magnetically attracted to his
, to the point that if it weren’t for my underwear and his pants, the distance between our privates would cease to exist completely. I’m excited, turned on and my desire for him is doing nothing but growing, so I try giving him a further hint, dry humping his erection.

  "Ellie," he pants, almost out of breath.

  Our lips reunite for a moment, before he lifts my shirt up and kisses my breasts, then my nipples, which he gently starts teasing with his teeth. He looks at me, without saying anything but there’s no need for it, because his eyes speak much louder than words. He looks at my body underneath him, his hands clasped onto my breasts and I too glance down, eager to enjoy the scenery. He’s touching me as if I were the most valuable thing he’d ever handled, staring at me straight in the eyeballs, in a way he never had before, as If I were someone he’d just met. When he puts his lips back on my nipple and starts nibbling on it, I almost lose control. It’s a pleasure both for my eyes and senses, to be touched by him this way, to have his complete attention.

  "You're beautiful," he whispers hoarsely.

  We keep our hips going, rubbing the parts of our bodies that are most dying to meet, our movements become more and more hectic, to the point that it doesn’t matter anymore whether out clothes are still on or not: we keep going, until we both reach climax. I’m taken over by a sensation incredibly intense and powerful, it’s something I’ve never felt before, something completely unknown to me and as that happens, we whisper each other’s name out.

  "Fuck…" Noah says, still on top of me.

  We’re both out of breath, I can't believe what just happened and I can’t believe that it happened with Noah!

  "Where'd you learn to move like that?" He asks, hesitantly looking at me.

  "Some things don't need practice, they come naturally" I reply, seraphically.