Every Single Heartbeat

by Abbye J Leen

"Come on baby, come for me" he whispers.

  His body firmly sticking to mine, his sweet touch, his hard cock deeply inside of me… that’s more than enough for me to reach peak. I feel a tingling sensation spawn from the tip of my toes, up to my head. It grows within me, so strong and powerful and takes over my body completely, to the point that I can barely stand on my feet anymore. Noah starts pushing it in roughly and frantically and for some reason, that only delights me more. I can feel his body shaking, as his warm liquid gushes out inside of me and as that happens, I can't help but shout his name out.

  Noah gently lathers me, observing me, my body. When he carefully washes his sperm off, I look at him into the eyes, this gesture is so intimate and yet... I don’t feel embarrassed at all. I just wish he was still inside of me.

  I kiss him and within moments, we’re already unable to stop touching each other, so slowly, we allow ourselves to carried away by passion once again.

  ***

  "You are UCLA’s quarterback, you must love anything that has to do with the team!”

  "Yeah, as if." he says pulling me closer to him, his arms wrapped tightly around my neck and his forehead resting on mine.

  "Can’t we just go grab a bite?" He asks hopeful.

  "Noah, this will only take another thirty minutes. We even got here late, the least we can do is stay until it’s over, we’re obliged to”

  "You know that I don’t like being obliged to do stuff... I did instead love doing ‘the reason why we were late’ though”

  "I love doing that too" I answer, pushing my butt closer against his groin. I can feel his throbbing erection and that immediately gives me an idea. Without letting anyone notice, I start rubbing my ass harder and faster on his stiffness. Noah tries to stop me, but eventually gives in to temptation and starts following my moves.

  "Shit Ellie" he says, resting his face on my shoulder. I smile, feeling so very proud and desired. Without thinking too much about it he pulls me behind a tree with him and in no time, we’re already getting it on. I’m leaning against a wooden trunk that’s scratching my back, but it doesn’t matter because the moment he sinks inside of me I forget about everything entirely, even the place we’re at.

  We head out to grab a bite with Emily and Marcus, the guy she’s lost her mind for and vice versa, apparently. All they do is touch, tease each other and giggle like little kids. Noah seems relaxed and at ease, happily answering Marcus’s questions about the championship and what it means to be UCLA’s quarterback. As we keep chit chatting undisturbed, Noah gently strokes my hair, holding me close and tight to himself, as if I were about to go anywhere, anyway.

  "How's your piece for the show coming along?" Asks Emily.

  "I’m almost done with it I just need to fix some shades and add a couple more details" I reply.

  “In my opinion, this one is your best one so far. You’re truly gifted and extremely talented, honestly. Very few people can afford to brag about their art, but you… you’re most definitely one of those!"

  "Come on, don’t overdo it now" I say, nervously fidgeting with a tissue paper. I really don't like being put under the spotlight.

  "If it looks anything like that cardboard sketch you finished off earlier, I can’t but agree with Emy" adds Noah.

  "It is actually so much better Noah, I swear. It looks so real, so vivid!" she says making me blush, as the others burst out laughing.

  Noah kisses my forehead, before saying: "You should be used to being the center of attention, seeing that you’re the center of my entire universe"

  For the umpteenth time today I’m breathless and my heart fills with joy. I look at him, I don't care where we are, what we’re doing or who we’re with, I just grab his face and kiss him. He does not seem to mind, at all, seeing that he kisses me back eagerly, gently brushing my cheeks with his hands. Our mouths slowly hatch, and we let ourselves get carried away by another long, passionate kiss. It is only when Emily coughs, that we snap out of it. I smile looking into his eyes and he smiles back at me mischievously, winking, before getting back to his conversation with Marcus.

  ***

  Today Noah’s playing a very important match, he’s been pretty tense all weekend, he just couldn't relax, not even after having sex and that says a lot about the gravity of the thing. I get back to my portrait and finish off drawing his face, I perfectly remember every little detail about Noah and the more I draw, the more it looks like he’s about to come out of the picture. I don’t know whether he’ll be happy or not about the fact that his beautiful face is going to be exposed at an art exhibition, but knowing how self-centered he is, I’m pretty sure he won’t mind.

  All of a sudden somebody lightly pats my shoulder and that makes me immediately alert, because it isn’t a touch that I’m familiar with. I hasten to turn around and find myself facing Moreno, staring at me with a smirk on his face.

  "It's beautiful" he says, pointing at my portrait.

  “Like the person represented" I say, running my fingers over the face on the canvas, the face of the only man I would give everything for, heart and soul included.

  “Wanna go for a coffee?" He asks.

  I like Moreno, he's a nice guy but I definitely wouldn’t want to give him any wrong impressions.

  "Thank you, but my boyfriend doesn't like it when I hang out with guys who aren’t him. " I say, politely declining the invitation.

  "Oh, never mind then" he replies, waving me a military salute, then leaving.

  I get back to my apartment, shower and prep myself for the game. I put on a pair of shorts and a UCLA shirt, autographed on the chest by none other than the team’s legendary quarterback. His heart tattoo is there as well, sketched right beside his name. Custom-made as hell! I finish off the look with a hat, then go check out if Emily’s ready.

  I knock on her door and she invites me in, shouting: "It’s open!". Her room is a real mess, there’s clothes scattered around everywhere, not to mention the many notes and books. I wonder how she even manages to enter this place, seeing how disastrous the situation is.

  "Hey Miss Tidy, don’t you stare at my room with that’s look on your face" she says, exasperated.

  "What look? On what face?" I lie.

  "Oh, come on, it’s so obvious… Anyway, how do I look?" She asks.

  "Marcus will love it!" I reassure her.

  "Bravo! You always know what I need to hear" she says high-fiving me, after which we head out and head to the field. When we arrive, I can’t believe my own eyes: Nolan’s here, waiting for me at the entrance! When he sees me, he runs towards me screaming my name, just like I do. I’m so happy, I can't believe that my best friend’s here!

  "Nolan!! What are you doing here?!" I ask, checking him out. He lost a few pounds but aside from that, he's still my sweet, old Nolan.

  "I couldn’t have missed this match for any reason whatsoever!" he exclaims.

  “Have you seen Noah already? He must be over the moon!"

  "Nope, not yet. I actually only got here a couple of minutes ago" he replies, still smiling.

  "Oh this is Emily by the way, my new friend and roommate" I say pulling her towards me, although she seems not to have heard a thing, being far too busy searching for Marcus amongst the crowd that’s gathering up all around the bleachers.

  "Nice to meet you" she says, without even looking at him. Nolan bursts out laughing, while I take a deep, long breath, bringing the palm of my hand up to my forehead.

  "Let's look for Noah" I say and the both of them follow me.

  I'm not sure if I can get Noah to see me because he’s super concentrated talking to his teammates, surely about the various strategies that they’re going to be using.

  I keep trying though and it doesn’t take me a lot of effort, because his eyes meet mine just moments after. He smiles and I wave at him, inviting him to come over and join us.

  He’s so hot, I think to myself, as he mouths something to his coach, then comes running towards me. He runs around t
he fence that separates us and once he gets to us, he lifts me up into his arms and spins me round. He kisses me fervidly, in a way only he knows how, while I cup his face sweetly into my hands and this time, when Emily coughs, neither of us move away. We keep kissing, until we both run out of breath.

  "Hey" I say, clearly perceiving how anxious he is.

  "Baby I’m sorry, it’s just I really felt the urge to do that"

  "Hey man" says Nolan, walking closer to us.

  "Oh shit! What the hell are you doing here?" Noah exclaims, hugging him.

  "Come on man, did you seriously think that I would have missed your first, proper match?"

  "I feel so much better now, now that the people I love most are all here. Thank you guys!" he says.

  He gives me one last kiss on the lips and I wish him good luck, before he runs back on field where the game’s about to begin.

  Nolan

  24

  There was no way I could have missed this game, no way at all. Unfortunately, I won’t be spending as much time with my two best friends, but being here with them now, is enough to have me feeling over the moon. College is quite tough, but when you dream of becoming a movie director and producer, it’s even tougher. I never thought that I’d find myself surrounded by such competitive people already and that stressing me out a lot. The people I’ve met so far never miss a chance to get in my way, to the point that I’m starting to wonder whether I’ll ever be able to make my dreams come true the way Noah and Ellie are doing. Out of the three, I’ve always been the weakest one.

  Ellie’s didn’t change so much she looks extremely charming as usual. I don’t know why, but when I watched her hug and kiss Noah so passionately earlier on, I felt strange, almost uncomfortable in a way. It was weird to see them both so thrilled and glowing, lost in the warmth of that embrace. I try to push my thoughts away, because as far as I can see Noah seems to have kept his promise, Ellie doesn’t look either hurt or upset and that’s all that really matters.

  "So, how are you doing, playboy?" She asks, as the crowd keeps cheering loudly. It’s a thrilling match, people are super excited about how well the team’s playing.

  "I’m all right, except for the fact that my classmates are all stuck-up careerists" I say, making her laugh and I can't help but do the same. She’s even more beautiful than I remembered her to be, especially with that smile on her face.

  "Is Noah treating you well?" I ask, just to make sure.

  "More than well, he’s impeccable. Jealousy aside!" she says, smiling sweetly. I can see so much love in her eyes as she speaks and I can't help thinking that maybe, had I been smarter or braver, she would be loving me that way, in a way so pure and devoted.

  When the game comes to an end I’m basically voiceless from all the cheering and shouting, I wonder how Ellie manages to endure all of this. We wait outside while her strange friend Emily, who’s actually kind of funny once you get to know her, won’t stop talking about a certain Marcus, who allegedly ditched her to go hook up with some spiteful cheerleader whose name I do not remember right now. Noah joins us at last and we say hi to each other with a few pats on the shoulders. He then nods at Emily, before sticking out his hand for his Ellie to grab, which she eagerly does. She kisses him on the cheek and smiles, telling him that he’s her champion. He smiles back at her, while I once again find myself being jealous of them.

  "There will be bonfires this evening! A lot of them!" says Noah and we all start heading out to the beach.

  I’ve missed talking to my friend in real life, speaking to him on the phone just isn’t the same. We update each other on our lives, and I ask him how the hell he’s managed not to get dumped by Ellie these past few months. He tells me that not everyone is as charming as him and that actually, it is him, who has to endure her. That last sentence wins him a slap on the head by Ellie but then, instead of fighting, they both just look at each other and burst out laughing, like two perfect accomplices.

  I’m left on my own with Ellie for a couple of minutes and I seize the opportunity to hug her, while I tell her how much I’ve missed and will continue to miss her. I brush her hair out of her face and kiss her on the forehead, unable to stop thinking about the fact that it is my arms, that she should be held by every day. I notice a guy staring at us from a distance, but I stop paying attention to him when I see Noah walking back to us.

  It’s more or less midnight, when I’m forced to say goodbye to my best friends and start heading back home.

  "Say hi to your mom and dad" says Ellie.

  "Sure! Go visit them if you happen to be in Venice, they’d appreciate it"

  "Sure, thing buddy" says Noah, hugging me.

  I hug Ellie tightly once again and then leave, without looking back: My heart’s been shattered too many times today already.

  Noah

  25

  "I don't give a fuck that he’s our best friend. Nobody can touch you that way, not even him." I say, pissed off. She knows that I can't stand people touching her, she knows how much it hurts me to even watch her stand close to somebody else, let alone if the person in question is a boy that’s been madly in love with her all his life.

  "Noah please, don't let your jealousy spoil everything, as usual…" she says exasperatedly.

  ‘’Fuck ‘everything’! I no longer know how else to tell you this! I don’t want you to mess around with Nolan that way, you know the way he feels about you"

  "No, I do not know that, as a matter of fact. You’re the one who keeps telling me that Nolan feels Lord-knows-what for me and even if that was true, he's like a brother to me, you know that and he knows that, too"

  She comes closer to me, stroking my chest, but I push her away, almost making her fall. I feel instantly ashamed, because my gesture reminds me of my abusive father and his shitty behavior, but I could never treat Ellie the same way as he treats my mother. She looks at me, speechless, as her eyes start watering and I can't help but feel like pure shit. I take a step closer to her, but she takes two back, holding her hand up to me as a stop sign.

  "Ellie, please, forgive me" I say.

  "No Noah, not this time. I'm sick and tired of your jealousy. You know how much you mean to me and the way I feel about you. I always agree to and do everything you ask me for, but having to stay away from Nolan? That’s just out of the question. You simply can’t ask me to do that, not with him. He’s always stayed by my side and I don’t want to lose him. When my mom died, his home was my home. His parents welcomed me as if I were part of their family” she says, before turning her back to me and running away in tears.

  "Ellie" I say, running after her. I try to pull her by the arm, but she roughly frees herself from my grip.

  "No, don’t you dare. I trust you, Noah and it's about time you start doing that too! I think we need to take some time apart and I’m not talking about a couple of weeks but proper, actual time. We need to understand what is wrong with us, whether this is what we actually want or not. Jealous couples don’t last long" she says, very nervously.

  "I won’t last, without you" I say, holding her face into the palm of my hands, as tears keep streaming down her cheeks. She takes a deep breath, then moves my hands out of the way and leaves, without even looking at me.

  I've never felt most empty before.

  As soon as I become aware of what’s just happened, I start going after her. I can’t let her slip away like that, she’s far too important for me. I reach her flat and enter without even knocking, Emily is sitting down on the couch with her arms crossed over her chest, playing with her tongue piercing and shaking her head at me.

  "You should stop being such a fucking asshole" she says, but I ignore her completely and head straight into Ellie's room. I find her lying down, with her face buried in her pillow. She’s holding tightly onto it, trying to stifle her sobs.

  "Ellie" I murmur, as I sooth her back, then lay down beside her.

  "Go away" she says, between tears.

  "I’m not even g
oing to pretend to do that! You know that I can't even fucking breathe without you!"

  She stays silent, as I put my hands around her waist and pull her closer to me.

  "You can ask me anything, Ellie, but do not ask me to stay away from you. You might not want me to touch you and I respect that but, please, please don’t deprive me of your presence, don't deprive me of your soul. I need you and you need me. I know I'm a jerk, I know that I’ve made a huge mistake and there simply aren’t enough words to express how sorry I am. I fucked up, I know, but please, please… don’t leave me"

  "Noah, you really have to stop behaving that way. I love everything about you, even your jealousy, but you need to calm down. It's Nolan we’re talking about here, you know he would never do anything to hurt or disrespect you, just like you wouldn’t with him. You’re the only one for me, I love you and I can't go on without you either… But..."

  "But what?" I whisper, caressing her.

  "But if distance is what we need..."

  "No it isn’t. I told you that it… please just, please. Don’t leave me"

  "I don't want to leave you" she says, turning around to face me, putting her hand on my hip and calming me down a little.

  "But, what?" I insist.

  "But, nothing. Maybe we just need to grow up."

  "We are Ellie, we are doing that together, day after day. I swear to you that from now on, I will do everything I can to keep my jealousy at bay".

  I kiss her head gently, as she wipes her tears away. We both lay still for a while, lost in our thoughts and slowly, fall asleep into each other’s arms.

  A sudden noise abruptly wakes me up. It's pitch dark around me and it takes me a moment to realize that I'm not in my room, but in Ellie's.

  I sit up, as she clings onto me, frightened and confused. I look around and notice a manly-looking figure, sneaking out of Ellie’s window. I immediately get up, screaming at and looking for the intruder, but he seems to have vanished already. I run and jump out of the window too, trying to chase whoever it was, but the more I run, the more I lose sight of him. My heart beats fast and loud, both for the adrenaline in my body and for how nervous I am right now.