Without Boundaries (the Without series)

by CJ Azevedo

  The morning after I left Hollister at the hotel he showed up at Drea’s apartment. I was terrified at first, but when I saw the sullen look on his face I had hope that he was going to let me leave him peacefully.

  He had packed my two suitcases and promised to send the rest of my things wherever I wanted them in the next couple of days. He told me that he loved me too much to hurt me anymore. He said that he was going to get help and hopefully we could get reacquainted in the future, but for now he was going to give me what I wanted.

  It makes me sad to leave him knowing that he doesn’t want to hurt me the way he has, but I know first-hand it is unsafe to stay with him. I know it was unfair to me to stick it out and hope he got help and got better. We have to look out for ourselves and I had put that off for far too long.

  A month flew by quickly with me staying on Drea’s couch. I haven’t heard a word from Hollister since I received my boxed up things with a note that said, “I’m sorry.” That is fine with me; I am fine. I am lonely, but fine. I wasted no tears on him, I had done enough crying the last couple of months that we were together, and I don’t need to continue with that.

  Outside of work I really don’t even see too much of Drea. She had convinced me to go out with her a few times but I felt more like lounging on the couch thinking of Talon. She has become quite the social butterfly since I had last lived with her and frequently had sleepover ‘guests’. That made me uncomfortable and pushed me to look for a place of my own.

  Drea offers to look for a two bedroom and be roommates again, but with her new activity, I don’t think that is something I want to be around. Of course, my reasoning caused her to laugh at me and call me a prude. That‘s fine with me though, I can be a prude if I want.

  I still dream of Talon all the time. I see men on the streets who make my heart race because they look so much like him. I haven’t heard anything from him or Kali since that night at the party they hosted. I also haven’t reached out to either of them.

  I’m still convinced that Talon McAllister is my soul mate, but I need to protect his heart. I know he wanted to be with me a month ago and I wasn’t ready. Now I’m not sure if his feelings have diminished or if he’s moved on, either way I don’t feel like I can give myself to him completely just yet.

  Work consumes every minute of every day for me and that’s exactly how I want it to be. I do however, make a trip out to California to see my family for Christmas. I spend much needed quality time with my dad out on the farm. I spend lazy days with my sister and her kids. I even have a bonfire with the boys and some other friends I haven’t seen since high school. Everyone asks about Hollister, but I decide to give them a superficial answer about him being fine and just not coming with me. My trip out there doesn’t have anything to do with him and I don’t want it to either.

  The boys ask about Talon and that gets my sister going. She wants to know who he is, what does he do, is he married, do I spend alone time with him, does Hollister know I’m friends with him. The questions are starting to get ridiculous when I finally tell her to stop and that I refuse to answer any more questions about him. It does cause him to remain firmly planted in the front of my mind and I can’t shake the feeling of missing him like crazy. So Christmas morning I decide to send him a quick text.

  Merry Christmas Talon ;) I hope you have a beautiful holiday with your family.

  I don’t even have time to lock my screen and set my phone down before his reply comes through.

  Merry Christmas My Love. I hope you are enjoying your holiday as well. Are you with your family?

  Yes, I’m in California… I miss you.

  This reply doesn’t come through quite as quick. I am starting to think that I crossed another line and shouldn’t have told him I miss him. Then it comes through.

  I miss you too Love, enjoy your time with the family and have a safe flight back home.

  I want to talk to Cheyenne about him all day, but I am not ready to go into details about my and Hollister’s breakup and I am afraid my true feelings for Talon will come seeping out of every pore on my body. The second I start to speak freely about Talon my sister will see that I am hopelessly and undeniably in love with him.

  When I return from California I feel more than ready to seek out Talon. I’m just not sure how to do that. I saw him one time in the last two months. The last time I saw him I had rejected him and I’m not sure that he won’t reject me if I go to him. So in the end I tell myself that when I’m not so scared of his rejection I will send him an email.

  Another month goes by and I found myself a cute little apartment. It’s in Soho which is the same neighborhood as my office. That has become really convenient since I spend the majority of my time there recently. I am focused on growing and discovering exactly who I am. I keep to myself with the exception of lunches with Drea and dinners and parties that I am required to attend for my clients.

  The night I finished moving in I got a call on my cell from a number I didn’t recognize. It is early in the evening and I usually wouldn’t answer a business call, but I’m all alone tonight and I have nothing better to do.

  “Bailey Hayes,” I answer as if I’m sitting at my desk in my office and not in dirty oversized sweats.

  “Hello Bailey. This is Declan. How are you?” Declan? Why in the world is Declan calling me?

  “Hello Declan, I’m doing well thank you. How are you? Are you here in the city?”

  “I am in the city actually. I know it’s late notice but I was hoping if you didn’t have plans you would have dinner with me tonight. I have a few things I would like to run by you.”

  “Sure. Where would you like to have dinner? I can meet you at let’s say… eight o’clock?”

  “I’m staying at the Lowell Hotel in the Upper East Side, would you mind having dinner at the restaurant here?”

  “Not at all, I’ll meet you there at eight.”

  “Thank you Bailey, see you soon.”

  And then we hang up. I have no idea why he would want to meet me for dinner. I honestly can’t come up with a thing. If it had to do with Talon I would assume that Kali would have come to find me so I don’t think it’s that.

  Two hours later I arrive at the Lowell and the doorman opens the door to the beautiful old New York style building. I have always loved this hotel. I’ve never stayed here but Hollister and I would dine here frequently since it’s near his place.

  I inform the hostess that I am meeting Declan James and she escorts me to him at a table in the back. Declan rises to greet me. He stands tall and thick across the chest in a white button up with the sleeves casually rolled up to his elbows. He’s also wearing a black belt with a chunky silver buckle on top of dark denim jeans. Declan pulls out my chair and I once again find myself speechless. He looks so much like Talon, it’s hard to look at him and see him as just Declan. I hate that. Every move causes the muscles in his chest, shoulders, and forearms to bunch up and scream sexy. Yes, I can admit that Declan is sexy, but it’s not him per se that is attracting me. No, it’s the fact that he could easily pass as Talon’s twin.

  “You’re alone,” I say, kind of surprised he doesn’t have his posse with him.

  “Yes. Is that a problem?” he asks skeptically with his brows furrowed.

  “No, not at all, I just assumed your posse would be with you, I guess.” I laugh lightly at my assumption.

  “My posse?” He laughs out loud and we get a few looks our way. “It’s just me; the guys are out doing the club scene tonight. I have a pretty important fight tomorrow so I’m keeping it low key.” Just then the waiter comes up to take our drink order and we both peruse the dinner menu.

  “So what did you want to run by me Dec?”

  “Straight to business, I like that. Would you like to approach the business or personal topic first?”

  “I’m going to venture a guess and say I’m probably going to need a drink in me for the personal. So why don’t you hit with me with the business topic first?�
�

  “Alright, fair enough. I have some pretty big name fights coming my way, with the UFC in contact. I know the business aspect of my hobby is going to turn this into a full-fledged career in no time. There is a lot of publicity that comes along with fighting in the UFC. These guys are celebrities of sorts and that is unfamiliar territory to me. Talon said you are amazing at what you do and I would like your help. I will continue to reside in California so I’m not sure I can efficiently be a client of yours, but would greatly appreciate it if you could steer me in the right direction until I can get my feet wet with this.”

  “Absolutely.” I don’t even have to think about it. I already know he’s a good guy and listening to him speak I can tell he’s very intelligent. Plus, being the cousin of the man I am borderline obsessed with doesn’t hurt either.

  “Just like that?”

  “Just like that. I disagree on the location of your residence being an issue, I can more than manage your account from New York but if you’re not comfortable with that you’re welcome to run anything by me that you would like.”

  “Seriously?” he asks with pure contentment splashed across his lovely face. “This makes me so nervous, everything being new. I don’t trust easily so I would much rather have people I know on my team.”

  “Great. I didn’t come prepared tonight but I can fly out to you next week with the documents I’ll need to go over with you and get your expectations from you then as well. Will that work?”

  “Yes it will, thank you. I really appreciate it.”

  Before I can respond the waiter is back to take our orders, refill our drinks, and drop off an appetizer purchased by a group of guys at the bar for Mr. Declan James. Apparently he needs a publicist… yesterday. He’s already accruing a fan base, which must be exciting for him.

  We continue talking about his fight tomorrow and the different ones he’s had since I last saw him. I ask him about Ava and he said he’s working on it. She’s starting to cave he admits. Suddenly I noticed his gaze is directed right behind me as I feel a warm hand settle between my shoulder blades.

  I turn, hoping to see Talon, but that’s not at all who I find. Hollister. He’s standing right by me glaring at Declan.

  “Can I help you?” Declan asks coolly. I know he does not like Hollister’s proximity to me or the way Hollister is glaring at him, but he doesn’t know who he is so he’s giving him the benefit of the doubt.

  Hollister turns his gaze to me and it softens slightly. “I apologize for interrupting your dinner but may I have a minute with you?”

  “Hollister, this is Declan James. Declan, Hollister Harrison.”

  Declan’s eyes widen and he tilts his head slightly to the side before asking, “The boyfriend?”

  “Yes.” Recalling his conversation with Talon about “the boyfriend” leaves me anxious and breathless in my answer.

  “Hollister, pull up a chair if you want a minute with Bay. She will not be going anywhere for any amount of time with you alone,” Declan proclaims with a mixture of amusement and finality. His facial features are screaming, “Don’t mess with me.”

  “I know who you are, Declan. I don’t know what you’re doing with Bailey, but I believe it’s going to be her choice if she wants to be alone with me or not.”

  I don’t want Declan to have to get involved with this mess. I’m not sure what Hollister intends on discussing with me, but it doesn’t matter. I just want to get him away from Declan. I push my chair back ready to excuse myself and Hollister from the table when Declan reaches across the table and gently but firmly grabs my hand. “Please Bailey. I’m going to have to insist that you stay here with me.” Because I still feel that brotherly connection with him that started up the night I met him, I concede to his wishes and sit back down. I offer him a small smile and he relaxes back into his chair.

  “Have a seat Hollister,” Declan states flatly.

  “No. I don’t think I will. I’ll see you around Bailey.” And he stalks off, just like that.

  I have no idea what Hollister has been up to since I moved out. I don’t know if he’s been getting the help he desperately needs. I don’t know if he’s moved on to another poor unsuspecting girl. I don’t have any clue what he would have said to me if Declan had allowed me to get up and walk away with him, but it doesn’t matter. Seeing him tonight just reconfirms that I made the right decision by walking away from a relationship that did nothing but harm me. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally.

  “He’ll see you around? Does that mean you no longer live with him?” Clearly I need to ‘fess up and tell Declan that I moved out and that I obviously still haven’t told Talon. I’m not sure how to go about that conversation other than flat out refusing to talk about it. I don’t want to hear from Declan that Talon still wants me. I want to hear that from Talon. I really don’t want to hear from Declan that Talon has moved on. I don’t want to hear that from Talon either though.

  So I simply nod my head and tell him how I feel. “I would rather not talk about it though.”

  “Ok. Do you want to know how Talon’s doing? You haven’t asked.”

  YES! I want to know how he’s doing. What he’s doing and where he’s doing it. “Not tonight Declan. Please.”

  “Ok… So are you free to tell me about your other clients or is there some sort of doctor/patient confidentiality set up?” he says with a smirk. Just like that he wipes away all of my stress and our brother/sister bond doubles in size.

  We talk over dessert and a couple more drinks before he puts me safely in a cab and I return home.

  Having such a great evening with Declan and feeling an overwhelming sense of connection with someone I am bombarded with the need to rekindle my life and relationships from back home. So I call Blaine.

  CHAPTER TWENTY EIGHT

  BAILEY

  After ten minutes of me telling him I need him he gets off the phone and books a flight that night for the following week.

  Blaine staying a week with me turns out to be exactly what I need to pull myself out of my pity party. I make him keep the secret about my break up from everyone else back home. I guess I’m just not ready for all of the ‘I told you sos’ that will come with that revelation. I confide in him about the abuse and know immediately he is who I needed to release all of that pent up sadness and anguish. I also talk to him about Talon. He says that even through FaceTime he could tell Talon was more than just a friend and that I should throw caution to the wind and go find him. I’m still not so sure about that, but tell him I will think about it.

  Tonight is Blaine’s last night and I have a small dinner party to attend in an unfamiliar restaurant. I have been told it is black tie. My country boy Blaine isn’t too excited about that but he allows me to dress him up for the night and he looks amazing.

  We meet Drea and her guy for the evening at my apartment for a drink before the car picks us up to take us to the restaurant. Drea’s date is very good looking and really attentive to her. He laughs at her jokes; he keeps finding a reason to touch her. He brushes her hair off her shoulder, refills her drink and hangs on her every word. I can’t remember where she said she had met him. It is clear that she has spent quite a bit of time with this guy and he is really into her. I couldn’t be happier about that fact. Well, maybe I could if I had Talon here with me tonight, but I can’t dwell on that. He still thinks I’m with Hollister and I’m not doing anything to rectify it.

  The restaurant is surprisingly close to my place and absolutely incredible. I am glad I was warned it was black tie because this place is extremely fancy. My mom once told me that you could never overdress so dress your best no matter what. I am grateful for that advice since the dress I chose felt like I was overdoing it while still in my apartment, but here I fit right in.

  Drea had decided on a short (really short) black, beaded, cocktail dress. Her date and Blaine are both decked out in black tuxes with the long skinny ties that she and I both adore. I chose a red, fully sequined, floor leng
th formal gown that is backless and has a deep cut front.

  I meet my client and his guests in a private room. It isn’t a large group but rather an intimate gathering. We’re celebrating the success of an article he just had published in a medical journal. Drea and I are here as his guests and not for work, which I am relieved about. I love the thought of not having to leave Blaine alone too much this evening.

  Dinner is delicious and having Blaine with me makes me miss having the comfort of a relationship. I dated before I got with Hollister but none of them lasted very long. I realize there is no use in longing for what didn’t happen with Hollister, but it is hard not to want. It is human nature after all.

  Drea excuses herself to the ladies’ room and asks me to join her. So after checking with Blaine I follow her out of the room. “Have you decided if you’re going back to California for your sister’s birthday?” Drea asks me in her typical cheery voice. My sister called and begged me to come home this year. She really didn’t need to beg; I made the decision to go the instant she asked me. Although, for reasons I don’t even fully understand I couldn’t just tell her yes, I told her that I had think about it. Yes, I have issues, I know.

  “Yeah, I’m going. I’m kind of excited about it really.”

  “Have you told her about breaking it off with the douche?” She scrunches her face up in anticipation of a lashing.

  Instead, her words and her face made me laugh. Really laugh, loudly. So inappropriate for this upscale restaurant, maybe I’ve had one too many glasses of wine tonight. “No Drea, I haven’t told her. I just don’t want to get into it with her or my dad. If I could just tell them and then they’d drop it I would have already said something but that’s not the case.”

  “I get it, I really do. I just want it to be done and out of your life already. I mean, I really appreciate the way he handled the ending of your relationship but I still hate the guy.”

  “Yeah I know, I’ll tell them when I go home.” I think that maybe it’s time for a change of subject. “I really don’t have to pee, so go ahead, I’ll get us another round of drinks.”