From there he moved to the kitchen, methodically cleaning and reorganizing every cabinet. Their kitchen had no system—no rules, like “all canned veggies go in one cabinet” or “cereal goes on top of the fridge.” No, they just threw things wherever there was room. His parents never cared enough to create a system.
He was just finishing up when he caught sight of the clock in the living room. Is it really three already? He couldn’t believe he’d spent the whole day cleaning. Tiredness washed over him, and he braced himself against the counter. I can’t slow down. If I slow down, then my thoughts can catch up. But he’d already cleaned everything he could. Except me, he thought. I could definitely use a shower.
He was halfway through washing his hair when he heard his phone go off. It’s probably Jenny, asking why I wasn’t in school. His phone went off again. And again. He heard it vibrate so much it careened off the sink counter, landing on the floor with a clack. Who needed to get hold of him that badly?
Chance cut off the water, wrapping a towel around his waist before stepping from the shower to pick up his phone.
It wasn’t Jenny. In fact, it wasn’t any of his saved contacts.
This is Kelsey. Leslie gave me your number.
Go to Jenny’s ASAP. She NEEDS you.
Bro, this is NOT a drill.
I am legitimately worried for her.
He stared down at her messages. Jenny needed him? But she had Drake. Surely this was something a boyfriend should take care of? Unless … He remembered his phone conversation with Drake on New Year’s.
Is Drake out of the picture? Is that the emergency? He’d assumed they would’ve made up at school.
He dialed Jenny’s number, but she didn’t pick up. He tried once more just to be safe, but still no luck.
If she’s not picking up, then she doesn’t need me right now, he decided. He couldn’t keep his mind off her, though. What had happened? Was she all right?
It was then that he heard a noise from the kitchen. He froze, phone in hand, straining to hear more. He heard someone mutter a curse under their breath, the voice clearly masculine.
Dad? he thought. He couldn’t help but hope that one of his parents had come home, that someone had come to save him. He stumbled down the hall blindly, rushing to see who it was. His phone vibrated in his hand, another message from Kelsey:
She says she wants to be alone, but idk if I buy it.
A tall man stood in the living room, his back to Chance. He wore a rough brown jacket, the sleeves so long they covered his hands. His blond hair stuck out in every direction, much longer than the last time Chance had seen him. He had an overnight bag at his feet and was looking around the room.
Chance froze, hardly believing what he was seeing. Finally, after what felt like hours, he found his voice.
“Levi?”
Levi turned around, grinning wide. “Hello, little brother.” He paused, eyes sweeping over Chance. “Is this a bad time?”
Chance stood there, unable to come up with something to say. Water dripped from the tips of his hair, and his thoughts were still on Jenny. The sight of Levi standing in the living room was so bizarre that he couldn’t even process the information. When was the last time he’d even seen his brother?
“Chance?” Levi took a step toward him, which snapped Chance out of it.
“I don’t…” He trailed off, looking back down at his phone. “I don’t have time for this. I have to go.” He tried to rush past his brother, but Levi grabbed his arm.
“Chance, don’t you think you need clothes first?”
Shit.
Chance looked down at his towel. “Right,” he mumbled, turning back toward his room. Levi followed him, still talking, even when Chance closed the door in his face.
“I got your message … obviously,” Levi’s muffled voice said as Chance searched his room for clothes. It’s funny how I can’t find anything the moment I clean my room. “I didn’t realize things had gotten this bad. When you said Dad left at Christmas, I actually thought things were going to be all right.”
So Levi had gotten his previous messages and just never bothered to respond. Chance dressed quickly, trying to call Jenny again. Still no answer.
“I got in the car and headed over as soon as I got off work.”
He grabbed his shoes, slipping them on without undoing the laces. Where are my keys? He looked in his bedside drawer before remembering he’d hung them up by the front door.
“I’ve decided to use my vacation time, so I’ll be staying awhile. We have to figure out what we’re going to do. If neither of them comes back, then—”
Chance opened the door, pushing past Levi. Levi broke off midsentence, watching him go.
“Chance, you have to talk to me.”
Finally, he broke. “I will, all right? Just not now. My friend needs me and I’m going to be there for her. I don’t want to talk about this—about Mom or you or what you’re going to do with me. Not now, okay? I just want one day. Can you give me that?”
Levi looked at him for a second, and Chance saw pity in his eyes.
“Fine,” Levi said at last. “We’ll talk about it tomorrow.”
* * *
“HEY,” JACK ANSWERED the door, ushering Chance inside.
“Where’s Jenny?” Chance asked, glancing into the living room. From the looks of it, Jack had been playing video games on the couch—discarded plates and food wrappers were everywhere.
Jack shrugged. “Her room, I think. She’s been up there since she got home. Is something wrong? She usually would’ve yelled at me for setting up camp in the living room.”
“Everything’s fine,” Chance told him before rushing upstairs.
Jenny’s door was closed, muffled music spilling out. Chance knocked once: no answer. He knocked again, but no luck. Finally, he twisted the knob, pushing it open slightly. Jenny sat at her desk, back to the door, open books covering every surface. She stared at her laptop, and every few seconds she’d type something and then erase it all.
Chance crossed the room, reaching out in front of her and closing her computer. She jerked back, startled, and whipped her head around to look at him.
“Chance!” she yelled. “What the hell did you do? Are you aware of how much time I’ve put into that?”
“About five minutes of you typing and backspacing everything.”
She crossed her arms, glaring at him. “How’d you even get in?”
“Jack,” he said. “Kelsey told me something happened.” He moved to take his place on her bed. He lay back, his hands behind his head. “You weren’t answering your phone.”
“Some people would take that as a hint.” But she wasn’t angry. “Feet off or shoes off, you choose.”
“Gosh, Jenny, live a little.” He obediently kicked off his shoes and gestured for her to lie next to him. “I’m here to make you feel better, but I can’t do that until you tell me what happened.”
“You should be happy I’m not royally pissed at you for interrupting me right now. I was in the middle of working on my research paper,” she said, resting on the pillow.
“Jenny, papers aren’t due for another two months.”
“Still, I have all the justified motive in the world to hurl snow globes at your head.”
“And risk disfiguring my beautiful face?” he said in mock horror. “You wouldn’t dare.”
“Oh, really?” She laughed. “Give me a reason not to, pretty boy.”
Chance sat up and rubbed his chin, his eyebrows drawn in feigned concentration. Finally, he called out, “Aha!” in an overly enthusiastic manner, a grin covering half his face. “You love me too much.”
“Two minutes. You had two minutes of serious thought and that’s all you could come up with?” She laughed. “Remind me again how you got into the smart classes?”
“Was I wrong?” he asked, lying back down. He playfully nudged her arm with his hand for a response. “Huh? Was I? You do love me, right?”
; Her expression remained deadpan until he began to tickle her, causing her to struggle for both breath and control.
“Stop!” she laughed.
“Say it, then.” He continued tickling. “Say it!”
“Fine, I—” Jenny began, but a knock on the wall next to the bed interrupted her.
“I don’t know what you guys are doing, but by the sounds, I can guess. Please, for the love of my innocence, stop!” Jack called from their mom’s room.
“Stop listening through the wall, creeper!” Jenny called back, still laughing. She took Chance’s momentary distracted state to seek revenge, going for the one place he was ticklish: his feet. “Lucky for me you decided shoes instead of feet.” She began tickling.
“No! Sto—” He broke off, laughing. “If—I—end up—kicking you in—the—face, its your own fault!” he managed to get out between laughs.
“That’s it!” Jack called though the wall. “I’m going back downstairs! Just tell me when he leaves!”
“It’s not what you think!” Jenny called, but she broke off, gasping, once Chance regained his breath and began tickling her again. Now it was a full-scale tickle fight.
“Truce!” they both yelled when breathing became impossible.
“Tell no one,” Jenny wheezed. “The last thing we need is people talking about you, me, and a tickle fight that took place on a bed.” She looked over at the boy lying next to her. Her hair was coming down from its bun, lazily sexy.
“Jenny, people say a lot worse stuff about us than tickle fights in bed,” he said unthinkingly. For a moment there, he’d forgotten everything: that Jenny was upset, that his mother was gone, even that Levi was waiting at home.
The atmosphere changed, all traces of laughter disappearing from Jenny’s face.
“I know. Trust me.” She sat up and rested her chin on her knees.
“Are you ready to talk about it?” he asked, sitting up, too.
She heaved a heavy sigh and told him everything. Chance sat, listening, growing angrier by the second.
What the hell? I knew Drake was a jerk, but to do this? I should’ve been there. Then, an even worse thought: I wouldn’t have been able to help. I would’ve made things worse. My being here is what caused this whole situation to begin with.
This is partially my fault.
“I can’t believe it happened in the school parking lot,” Jenny said, more to herself than to him. “I could’ve handled it one-on-one, or even through a text, but not publicly. He humiliated me.”
Chance wanted to comfort her, but it didn’t feel like the right time to wrap her in a hug. He went to pat her on the back but missed and ended up getting her shoulder, knocking her into the wall.
“What the hell?” she laughed, straightening up.
“I meant to get your back, obviously.” He bit his bottom lip. “I missed.”
“With that much force behind it?” She pushed him playfully. “Did you think I was choking or something?”
“It was an awkward fumble, never mind.” I can’t even comfort her correctly. “What are you going to do?”
She got up and began pacing the room.
“Where to start?” She moved to run her hand through her messy brown hair but paused, seeming to remember it was up in a bun. Her hand dropped to her side. “I mean, what can I do? I’m the villain here, Chance.”
“You are not the villain,” he assured her. “There are no villains here. Breakups happen. Drake will get over it, and everyone will forget this whole thing. He’s just being dramatic.”
“He said that I was incapable of feeling love. He yelled it, too, so everyone was staring. I started crying—really crying, not those polite pretty tears I cry when I see sad movies, but big ugly sobs. No one is going to forget that, Chance. Not anytime soon.”
She stopped then, tears falling down her face. Not the polite pretty kind, either.
“It’ll be okay.… I’m here for you.” Chance got up to wrap his arms around his crying best friend. He didn’t even think about it this time, working solely on instinct. “I’ll admit that me being here is what got you into this mess in the first place, but I’m not going anywhere. You’re better than that scene-boy-wannabe and you know it—besides, his band sucks.”
“They are terrible.” She sniffed into his shirt.
“You weren’t right for each other,” Chance went on. “You seemed like you were going through the motions of what you thought a relationship should be.” He gave her another squeeze before changing the subject. “How about we go bowling? You love bowling.”
“You’re talking to me like I’m five.” She rubbed the tears from her eyes, but more came cascading down. “Plus, do I look like I’m ready to go out? I’m crying ugly tears here.”
“I see that. You’ve also got snot running all down your face, but I’ve seen you worse than this. Remember your eighth birthday party, when you … Okay, I’ve got nothing but you know what I’m going for: Insert witty fake story about our past here.”
“I don’t know. Being seen with you so soon after all his allegations wouldn’t be very … I mean it would be like proving him right. And I really do not want to see anyone. Can’t we just go to Our Spot?”
“Fine,” he gave in. “We can go to Our Spot.”
She broke away from him, scrubbing at her eyes. “I’m going to take a quick shower. I hate crying; it always makes me feel so gross.” She reached up, pulling the elastic from her hair. Chance watched it tumble down around her shoulders. “I need to wash this day off me.”
“I’ll be downstairs, then,” he said, heading toward the door.
“Make sure Jack cleans up that mess in the living room,” she added as an afterthought. “That was a disaster down there.”
Chance swore he would, and then he was gone.
His phone buzzed in his pocket: a message from Levi, asking when he was coming home. It’s funny, he thought as he looked down at it, I’m the one ignoring him now. In a way, it had been easier when he knew there would never be an answer. Levi became less of a person and more of an outlet, more of a nonentity that he could vent to. He was the void, and Chance was always screaming into it. Now he was here, had heard all of Chance’s insecurities, and wanted to face them.
Jenny came downstairs a few minutes later, her hair still wet.
“You ready?” she asked.
Chance’s phone buzzed again, but he ignored it.
“More than you know.”
CHAPTER 23
Jenny
Jenny said good-bye to Jack, giving him a twenty for pizza. “Mom will be home soon,” she warned him. “This room needs to be clean by then.”
“Aren’t you supposed to be doing my chores?”
She glared at him. “My boyfriend broke up with me. Clean the damn living room.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Jack squeaked, setting to work picking up his trash.
Chance led Jenny from the room and out the door. She felt like she was operating on autopilot, her legs moving of their own accord. Mentally, she was still in that parking lot.
There’s probably an alternate reality where that’s always happening, she thought. Somewhere out there is a world where that scene never stops.
Her feet carried her down the driveway, past the place where she and Chance had had their snowball fight and past where she’d had her first kiss with Drake. So many memories in so little time. She reached out to open the passenger-side door, but Chance beat her to it. She raised her eyebrows at him but otherwise said nothing as she slipped in. Chance let his fingers trail on the hood as he made his way around to the driver’s side.
They rode in silence for most of the way. She tried her best not to think about what had happened. She stared dreamily out the window, the way she used to when she was little. She would always imagine a version of herself running alongside the car, doing flips and tricks over all the obstacles in the way.
“Don’t let him get you down.” Chance broke the silence.
“It’s hard not to.” Her voice trailed off. It wasn’t worth it to point out that she actually hadn’t been thinking about Drake then. “I thought things had been going well.”
“I know.” They were finally making it out of the city limits, which meant that they were almost there. “But we’re not thinking about him tonight, remember?”
“You’re the one who brought him up,” Jenny pointed out.
“Whatever.” Chance turned onto the dirt road that led to Their Spot. “The fact remains that tonight isn’t about him.”
“Ugh, men. As soon as a girl goes silent, you assume she has to be lost in thought about one of you.”
“Oh God,” Chance groaned as he killed the engine. “You’re not going to start hating men, are you?”
“Oh, yes, I am” was her sarcastic reply. “I’m even going to hate you eventually, so watch out.” She wrenched open her door and gave him a fake smile. “Enjoy tonight while it lasts. I’ll hate you in the morning.”
“Whatever,” he called after her. She was already racing toward the barn, out of earshot. She longed for the comfort of being out in the middle of nowhere—for the freedom of being in a place that belonged to her and Chance alone. The real world didn’t exist in Their Spot.
“I’ve missed this place!” she exclaimed, turning back to grab his hand. “I haven’t seen it while sober since God knows when.”
“It’s missed you, too.” He grinned, gave her hand a friendly squeeze, and pulled her into a side hug.
She squirmed away, moving to sit in the middle of the floor. She placed her hands in her lap and looked up expectantly.
“Where’s my pirate hat?” she asked, wide-eyed.
“Are we still doing that?”
“I know it’s been a while. But still, it’s Share Time. So bring me my hat. We’re doing this right.”
“Yes, ma’am.” He saluted, making his way to the trunk in the back. He returned with both the hat and the bottle of Absolut.
“Thank you.” She pulled the triangle-shaped hat onto her head, content. The hay felt itchy against her bare feet, her shoes abandoned by the door.
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