Chance sat cross-legged, facing her.
“You first.” He pried open the bottle.
“Well, my boyfriend dumped me. Quite publicly, actually.” She passed him the hat.
He nodded and took a swig, passing the bottle to her. The foul substance had just touched her tongue when he said, “My mother left and Levi is back.”
Jenny nearly spit out the drink she’d taken, her eyes wide.
“What?” she sputtered. “Since when? What happened?”
“She left yesterday … or maybe it was this morning? All I know is that I woke up and she was gone. So, I called Levi—no answer, of course. Then he was just there, standing in the living room as if nothing had happened.” He took the bottle from her, taking a long drink.
Jenny just stared at him blankly. This was what he had been dealing with? And he had kept it to himself until now? He had rushed over and comforted her, all the while dealing with this? She suddenly felt ashamed of her own pain. Here she was upset over a breakup, of all things, while her best friend was dealing with this.
“What did Levi say?” she asked. “Where has he been?”
Chance shrugged. “No idea. I didn’t talk to him. I went to you instead. I’ll deal with him eventually.”
Her guilt increased. Chance had waited years for this, and he blew it all off just to comfort her. She took the bottle back from him.
“Chance, you have to talk to him at some point.” How could he just walk out after waiting all this time? Didn’t he want to work things out with his brother? “You’ve been waiting for this! You’ve wanted to talk to him all this time and you blow it off?”
“I’ve decided I don’t want to talk to him, okay? I thought I did, but now I have no idea what to say to him. It turns out I’d rather not know why he chose to abandon our family.” He looked so lost, and he wouldn’t meet her eyes. “It’s been years, Jenny. I was starting to forget what he looked like, for God’s sake, and now he’s just here. I can’t believe it took both our parents running away for him to finally remember I exist.”
“That’s fair,” Jenny said after a while. “You don’t have to face him if you’re not ready. Do you want to stay at my house again?”
But in her head she was already crafting a plan to get the two brothers together. She was not going to let Chance waste this opportunity. She knew he’d eventually regret not trying to fix things.
He shook his head. “No, someone’s got to keep coming home. It might as well be me.”
They fell into silence. Jenny wanted to say something, but nothing sprang to mind.
She wished real life was scripted. Then she’d always have the perfect thing to say—every response handcrafted for the situation and no awkward silences. As it was, her mind was blank.
Chance lay back on the ground. “Look at the stars,” he said, pointing upward.
“I can’t focus on them. You’re distracting me.” She pulled the pirate hat from under his head so it wouldn’t be squished.
“I distract you?” he asked, a smile creeping into his voice.
She moved to lie beside him, setting the bottle to the side. “Sometimes.”
He turned his head to look at her. Her face was inches from his, way closer than she expected. Lying like this with Chance was different than lying with Drake, she realized. With Drake it had been awkward and mechanical. But when she lay with Chance, it was electrifying. Every nerve was alive and well, finely tuned to each move the blond made. They could lie side by side without touching, and she’d still feel more alive than she did with anyone else.
“You know I love you, right?” she said suddenly. She wasn’t sure if she meant platonically or romantically, and she didn’t care. She just needed him to know.
“What do you mean?” he asked cautiously.
She felt her face flush. “That I’m not going anywhere. I’m not going to abandon you. I want you to know that you’re the best part of my life, Chance. You’re my best friend.” She yawned, realizing just how exhausted she was. “What did you think I meant?”
“That,” he explained. “You just caught me off guard.”
“Oh.” She turned toward him, her eyelids already heavy with sleep. “Well, aren’t you going to say it back?”
“Does it need saying?” He placed his hands behind his head as he looked back at the ceiling.
“I guess not.” She curled up against him, her head resting on his arm. “G’night, Chance.”
“Good night, Jenny.”
She drifted off a few minutes later, lingering in that space between asleep and awake, where she couldn’t tell what was real and what wasn’t. She thought she heard Chance whisper, “I love you, Jenny,” before feeling the lightest pressure of his lips against her forehead, but she wasn’t sure. Then her dreams dragged her into unconsciousness, and none of it mattered anymore.
* * *
JENNY WAS UP before Chance and slipped out of the barn just as the sun was rising. She stood by the door, looking out into the surrounding field, taking in the way the sunrise turned the sky various shades of orange and yellow. It’s so beautiful out here, she thought. She loved being so removed from the real world, as if she and Chance had stumbled upon their own pocket of the universe. Had yesterday really happened? It was hard to think about the awful things Drake had said when she couldn’t even see civilization for miles. Maybe none of that existed and it was all a dream. She had almost convinced herself of it when her phone alarm went off.
“Shoot,” she mumbled, turning it off. I have to go to school today. I can’t be the girl who disappears after she’s dumped. Then she remembered her plan from the night before, the one to get Chance and his brother to talk. She didn’t have time to worry about the hell that awaited her at school, not when Operation Chance and Levi was a go.
She rushed back into the barn, accidentally stumbling over Chance with her momentum.
“Ow, what the—?” He rolled onto his back, blinking up at her sleepily. “Jens?” He squinted in the light, his voice slow and sleepy.
“It’s seven fifty, Chance!” She offered her hand to pull him up. “School starts in ten minutes!”
This was step one of the master plan: Freak out about being late for school.
“So what?” He ignored her hand, sitting up gingerly. “Let’s just skip today. We can sit here, share … drink.… What’s wrong with that?” He reached up, pulling her down into his lap. His arms wrapped around her waist and his head buried itself in her shoulder. “Five more minutes.”
“Chance?” She pulled away to look him in the eye. This was not part of her plan. “Get up and quit playing around. We need to get going!” She showed him the time on her phone.
“I wasn’t planning on going to school today,” he admitted. He looked away from her, his eyes cast downward. “Um…” He cleared his throat. “I was planning on staying here.”
“We have to! Can you imagine the rumors if we’re both absent today?” She was already halfway out the door, rushing to the car. “Come on, Chance, we need to hurry!”
“Fine!” he said, following her slowly. “Let’s get going.”
“Wait, our clothes,” Jenny said, looking down at her T-shirt. “We slept in a barn and, frankly, I smell like it. I have to change.”
“This is getting more complicated by the minute,” he muttered as he unlocked his car. “I can run us by your place.”
“No.” Jenny shook her head, her wild curls flying everywhere. “Then my mother would know I spent the night with you somewhere without her supervision.”
He started the car. “What do you want to do, then?”
Step two: Get the boys together in the same place.
Jenny met his eyes. “I was thinking that we could go to your place?”
“Fine,” he said begrudgingly. “We’ll stop by my house.”
Jenny pulled the visor down to inspect herself in the mirror, cringing in horror as she saw the rat’s nest sprouting from her head. She looked o
ver at Chance, staring at his perfectly flat hair with envy.
“I hate you,” she informed him. “Like, colossally hate. Like, with the passion and intensity of a thousand burning suns.”
“I doubt that. Just last night you told me you loved me.”
“That was the alcohol talking.”
“You barely had anything to drink.”
“I’m a lightweight.”
“Yeah, but not that much of a lightweight.” He turned onto the main road. “We have ten minutes until we get to my house, where you can shower.”
Which would be step three: Disappear long enough for the boys to talk but not long enough for them to, like, get into a fight or anything.
“Which puts us twenty minutes late to school,” she complained, keeping up the worried charade.
“Our Spot is twenty minutes from town. What do you want me to do, Jenny? Fly? Teleport?”
“You don’t have to be a smart-ass,” she snapped.
“I forgot how grouchy you are in the mornings.” He flipped on the radio. “No more talking until we get some coffee in you.”
“Excuse me?” She struggled to be heard over the music that now flooded the car.
“I’m serious!” he called over his music. “I don’t want to hear another peep until we get to my house and can caffeinate you!”
“You don’t want to hear another peep? Who are you, my mother?” she retorted.
“Shut up, Jenny.” He turned his music louder.
CHAPTER 24
Chance
Ten minutes later they pulled into Chance’s driveway. Chance killed the car, silencing the music.
“Finally,” Jenny muttered, earning a “Shh!” from Chance. She shot him a glare as she climbed from the car.
He led the way to the front door, fumbling with his keys, slightly aware that Jenny had never been to his house before.
“I don’t know what we’ll find in here,” he said as he swung the door open.
They both froze in the doorway, unsure of how to react to the scene before them. Levi—the legendary, enigmatic, elusive Levi—stood by the counter, clad only in his boxers. When he turned to see who had walked in, he almost dropped the jar of peanut butter he was eating from.
“Shit,” he said, wiping his hand on his boxers. “Chance? Aren’t you supposed to be at school?”
“Aren’t you supposed to use a spoon or put that on a sandwich or something?” Chance quipped, motioning to the jar in his brother’s hand. “I mean, Christ, I eat out of that, too.”
Levi rolled his eyes, setting the jar aside. “I honestly didn’t expect to see you. I kinda thought you weren’t coming back, since you never answered any of my texts.”
Chance stared at him in disbelief. “Feels kinda shitty, doesn’t it?”
Levi ignored that, looking past Chance to the girl standing behind him. “Who is she?”
“She’s my friend Jenny.” Less than a minute in his presence, and Chance already felt like punching him. He had been right to run out the day before. “We’re not staying; we’re here to get ready for school.”
Levi ran a hand through his feathery blond hair, looking from his brother to Jenny. “What’s going on?”
Chance ignored him, turning to face Jenny. “The bathroom is down there, first door to the right.” He pointed down the hallway. “You can wear one of my shirts.”
Chance stayed silent until Jenny turned into the bathroom, then he whirled around to face his older brother. He might as well do this now.
“What are you doing here, Levi?”
Levi gestured to the jar on the counter. “Eating peanut butter in my boxers. I thought that was obvious.”
Chance glared at him. “I meant here at home. Why are you back here?”
“You’re the one who called me, bro. You asked me to help you. So here I am, helping you.”
“I meant for you to call me back, not show up out of the blue uninvited!”
“What can I say—I couldn’t stay away, I couldn’t fight it!”
“Okay, Adele, I’m serious.” It was so like Levi to treat everything like a joke. He never took anything seriously, always making puns or references. Chance was sick of it. “I’ve been trying to reach you for months. You jumped ship years ago to play college student, and now you show back up like it’s nothing?”
“I think I preferred the silent treatment,” Levi muttered, his good-natured smile sliding off his face. “It’s not nothing, Chance. I had some things happen to me. College, and Anna. I was going through stuff, too.”
“Oh right, like running off to college without a word and then ‘taking a semester off.’ That’s what you said you were doing when you called—when was it, oh yeah, last March—wasn’t it? That you were thinking of taking a break and maybe you’d visit soon?” Chance asked bitterly. “Does your girlfriend know you can never commit to anything?”
Anger flashed in Levi’s eyes, his fist slamming down onto the counter just like their father’s did whenever he was mad.
“I will not tolerate you speaking about her like that.” He seemed surprised at his own anger, stepping back from the counter. “I’m not mad, Chance. I’m just … I’m a person, too, you know? I was their kid, too; I went through all that you did. I’m not the enemy. Just let me explain.”
Chance wanted to ask about what had happened, but he could hardly see through his anger. “How about we don’t speak at all?” he said.
Levi sighed, marching from the kitchen down the hallway to his bedroom. “I can’t talk to you, not like this.”
Chance sank down onto the nearest barstool, his head in his hands. This wasn’t how his first real conversation with Levi was supposed to go. Why do I fuck up everything I touch?
Levi reentered the room, now clad in a T-shirt and worn jeans. “Okay, now I can talk to you.” He looked down at Chance, his expression softening. “Who is the girl?”
Chance glanced down the hallway to the bathroom. He could still hear the water from the shower running. “Her name is Jenny. She’s my best friend.”
“The one you talked about in your messages?” Levi moved into the kitchen to sit across the counter from Chance.
You mean while you were ignoring me? Chance nodded.
“She’s pretty,” Levi said.
“She’s amazing,” Chance said quietly.
“What?” Levi asked from his seat at the counter.
“She’s amazing, all right? She’s my best friend. I can’t imagine what I’d do without her.”
Levi smiled knowingly. “Oh, so you’re kind of in lo—”
“Shut up,” Chance cut him off.
“Fine, live in denial,” Levi gave in. “I don’t care. It’s your life.”
“What am I supposed to do?” Chance asked, exasperated. “Risk fucking it all up? Like everything else?”
“She spent the night with you, so you guys must be pretty close. What’s going to get fucked up if you just go for it?”
“I can’t. She literally got out of a relationship yesterday. I can’t go after her.”
“Don’t tell me you don’t know how.” Levi rolled his eyes. “Even I’ve heard all about your reputation.”
Chance took a deep breath, trying to explain. “Jenny is different. She’s my best friend. Everyone has been walking out lately, but Jenny … she’s the one constant in my life. She can walk into any room ever and be the only person I see. I could be having the worst day of my life and then just see her smile—it doesn’t even have to be directed at me—and suddenly I feel great. She’s my best friend … just my best friend. I need her to stay.”
Levi gave his younger brother a knowing look. “I think you’re already fucked. No offense.”
“I don’t need this from you,” Chance muttered, running a hand through his hair.
“Look at the mess you’ve gotten yourself into without me here to guide you,” Levi went on, not a drop of irony in his voice.
This set Chance off. “Considerin
g that you wasted your money and dropped out before your sophomore year, I’d say that you leaving for college was bad for everyone.” He couldn’t keep the bitterness out of his voice and then, to drive it home, he looked toward their parents’ room. “Most of all them.”
Levi reached out to ruffle Chance’s hair, his voice quiet. “I’m sorry that you had to go through that alone. I can’t imagine what it was like here when they split. I never thought they’d actually do it. I can’t make it better, but—”
“No, you can’t. You didn’t have to become just another weapon in their arguments.” Chance shook his head. “I spent most of my time at Jenny’s and most of my nights at the old barn.”
“I’m sorry, all right? I didn’t mean—”
“I don’t want to talk about this.” Down the hallway, he heard the shower shut off and breathed a sigh of relief—they’d be leaving soon.
“Where Jenny’s concerned, I think—”
“I don’t want to talk about that, either,” Chance cut him off. “Can you write us an excuse? Something like ‘car trouble’ or ‘family emergency’?”
“I can say that I fell down the stairs and that you and Jenny helped nurse me back to health in two hours.”
“Can you be serious about this?”
“Fine, your car broke down in the driveway and you had to wait on a mechanic.”
Levi scribbled the note and slid it across the counter.
“Thanks.” Chance picked it up.
Jenny ran into the room, dressed in a T-shirt and faded jeans, her wet hair in a messy side braid.
“We’ve got to get going!”
They pulled into the school’s parking lot fifteen minutes later, struggling to find an empty space.
“Sophomores shouldn’t be allowed on-campus parking,” Chance mumbled as he circled around for the third time. Jenny was starting to get fidgety, so he decided to screw it and park in the teachers’ parking lot behind the main building.
“You’re going to get a parking violation,” Jenny said, getting out of the car.
He couldn’t even pretend to care. He circled around to stand next to her.
“We’re late, remember?” He pointed at the building over his shoulder. “Shouldn’t we, I don’t know, go to school?”
Just Friends Page 18