3 Breaths

by LK Collins

  I know what I have to do. I’m gonna need Zoë’s strength to get me through this. She will be able to tell me what to do.

  Getting home, Ivy is still sleeping and I decide to shower in hopes that will clear my mind. As the water heats the room, I look at my reflection in the mirror. My face is swollen and bruised, covered with cuts.

  Going to Long Beach today didn’t help me the way that I’d thought it would. I can still feel Zoë there, but the decision ahead of me is something that Ivy and I need to make. Ivy is my future and the one who can help me decide. After this morning, it’s obvious that she is the only one that can really clear my head.

  Rinsing off, I look at the tub as the pink water swirls down the drain and I’m thankful that Ivy is not in here. Before getting out, I hold my breath and let the hot water cleanse my face, erasing the remnants of last night’s fight. As I stand here, frozen in time, I pray that Ronnie will be okay. I don’t want to ever cause anyone permanent harm, no matter what.

  I wipe my body dry and then wrap a towel around my waist. Opening the door to my room, Ivy is still passed out. “Baby,” I call out getting dressed.

  “Nooo,” she whines and pulls the covers over her head.

  “Come on, you have to get up.”

  She ignores me. Going into the kitchen, I pour us each a cup of coffee and tell her as I go back into the bedroom, “I have something for you.”

  Slowly she pulls the covers off of her head and peers out at me to see what I have. I gesture the cup towards her and she huffs sitting up. “You already showered?”

  Her voice is raspy and I laugh at her. “I did and went to the beach, I offered you to join, but you just cursed at me.”

  “No, I didn’t.”

  I smirk, she knows me so well. Handing her the coffee, I sit down. “You’re so lazy, you know that?”

  She takes a sip and shakes her head at me, “No, I’m not. I’m tired. You woke my ass up in the middle of the night to fuck, so I didn’t get a full night’s sleep.”

  “Me?” I question her recalling the events that took place. “I remember waking up to your lips wrapped around my dick.”

  “Yeah, because you were moaning in your sleep.”

  “Was I now?” I ask, raising my eyebrows.

  She throws a pillow at me and asks, “Who was on the fucking phone at the asscrack of dawn?”

  “Logan.”

  “Why so early?”

  “Oh, he had a damn good reason. Ronnie’s not doing well and the scouts for ACM want to discuss possibly signing me.”

  “Really? What’s the news with Ronnie?”

  I fill her in on all of the details and we spend the next hour in bed discussing things. Ivy is always so positive and makes me see the light in every situation, when typically all I focus on is the bad. I’m the luckiest fucker ever.

  As we drive to the gym to pick up my check and talk to Logan in person, Ivy asks me, “Did they say when they wanna meet?”

  “I don’t think so, but I’d bet they are still in town, so maybe in the next few days.”

  She looks out the window, not responding; she’s been in a bit of a daze since we left the house. “Hey, you okay?”

  “Yeah, just thinking about Zoë.”

  “What about?” I ask, curious that she is on both of our minds so much today.

  “She used to always talk about your fights, and I could hear how proud she was of you. I’m just sad that she’s not here to be a part of this.”

  Reaching over, I take her hand and wrap it in mine. “Baby, she’s always with us.”

  Ivy blinks back tears and I bring her knuckles to my lips, kissing them as I pull into a parking spot. Putting the truck in park, I pat my chest and she unbuckles her seatbelt scooting closer to me.

  “Don’t cry, babe.” I hold on to her, but my words won’t help. She sobs into my chest and I wonder what set her off so quickly. “Shhhh.” I try and calm her down.

  She looks at me shaking her head and says, “Are we crazy for thinking that…” She lets out a big breath of air. “That we could run from the past and make this work?”

  I don’t like where her line of thinking is going one bit. “Of course we’re crazy, we all are in our own ways, but it doesn’t make what we’re doing wrong. Nothing or no one can stop this,” I point between the two of us, “Or make things not work, except for you. I’m in this for the long haul, Ivy, and I want you by my side. I don’t want to imagine my life without you.” She blinks away the tears. My words stun her. She keeps listening to me and I continue. “Please let go of the past and hold on to what’s real.” I place her hand over my heart as it pounds fiercely against the walls of my chest. “This is what the thought of losing you does to me.”

  She leaves her hand on my heart and says, “I don’t want to lose you.”

  “You won’t. Now be strong for me, like you always have.”

  “I’m trying, but sometimes I get lost in my own thoughts and worries.”

  Leaning down, I kiss her tender lips, looking in her eyes for the reassurance that I need right now. “Don’t do that.” She kisses me back, giving me a little smile and asks, “Do you mind if I stay in the car?”

  “Of course not, I’ll be right out.”

  Leaving the keys in the ignition, I hop out and walk into the gym. “What’s up, man?” Ethan calls and the guys all begin clapping for me. “Stop it,” I respond, waving them off.

  “Not much, any news on Ronnie?” I ask, shaking Ethan’s hand.

  “Nothing new.”

  “Damn, where’s Logan?”

  “On the phone with ACM – things seem to be really serious with their interest in you.”

  “What do you mean?” I ask catching sight of Logan pacing in the back of the gym. He is gripping the back of his neck, like he’s stressed, nodding his head repeatedly.

  “He’s been on the phone with them on and off for almost an hour.”

  I look at Ethan, not believing him, but can see he’s dead serious.

  “Wow, so this could really happen, couldn’t it?”

  “Yeah, man, but you have to stop beating yourself up about Ronnie.”

  “I know I do,” I tell him, “It’s just hard.”

  “Have a little faith, brother, he’ll get better. Listen, sorry about walking in on you and Ivy last night.”

  “It’s all good.”

  “What’s the deal with you two anyway?” he asks curiously.

  I haven’t told any of them that we are actually dating yet, not that it’s a secret or anything, but things have evolved so quickly and the fight was sprung on me so fast that I didn’t have the time. “We’re together.”

  “Good for you, man.”

  “Who’s together?” Logan asks approaching the counter.

  “Ivy and I.”

  “I knew it,” he says. “I mean, I didn’t know it, but I suspected it. She make you happy?”

  “Yeah, she does, man.”

  “That’s all that matters, brother.”

  Raising my chin to him I ask, “So what’s the word?”

  “Man, shit’s moving fast. They want to fly us out to Vegas. Today.”

  “What? Why Vegas?”

  “I guess the scouts left last night and that’s where they are headquartered.”

  “Okay. If we go, how long will we be gone for and what’s it going to entail?”

  “From what it sounds like, possibly a contract. I mean, we won’t know ’til we’re there, but they said they’d send their private jet and have all the accommodations handled for an overnight trip.”

  “Can Ivy come?”

  “I’m sure. I’m waiting on an email and I’ll ask in my response.”

  “Cool, I’ll talk to Ivy about it now, but we should be good. I’ll text you.” He hands me the check for last night’s fight and I shake both of their hands before leaving. Walking out I open the check and blink a few times looking at it. Turning back to Logan and Ethan, I ask, “Why is this so much?�
�� Logan walks to me and I hand it to him.

  “Probably to show their interest in you,” he responds.

  With the check in hand, I walk out looking at the amount one more time. What I thought would be seven thousand dollars is seventeen thousand. ACM just gave me an extra ten grand for no reason.

  “Are we really doing this?” Ivy asks as we pull out of the bank drive thru and head to the airport to meet Logan and Victoria.

  I look behind us and see our suitcases resting on the backseat. “Looks like it.”

  “What if they don’t offer you a contract?” she asks concerned.

  “Then it wasn’t meant to be, babe, and we got a free trip out of the deal.”

  “I really can’t wait to get away,” she says.

  “Me too.”

  A text comes through her phone and she rolls her eyes. I glance down seeing it’s her mom. “You know, you have to let go of the anger you have against her. Regardless of what blame she holds on me, she’s your mom.”

  “She’s never going to let go of what happened with Zoë.”

  “Then help her do it. Give her a reason to see why she needs to.”

  Ivy nods her head and begins to text her mom back. Pulling off the freeway, with the sun shining high in the sky, I think about what I am about to embark on. Today could be the first step towards the rest of my life, towards a real future in the MMA world. No more last minute underground fights for chump change. Regardless of what happens with Ronnie, I cannot carry that burden. I have to believe that he will be fine. That he’ll pull through and my family will be safe, like they’ve always been.

  The possibilities for the future are great, and for that, I’m one lucky bastard. I could be making good money, where Ivy would never have to work again, and I can give her the future that she deserves.

  “She wants to have dinner.”

  “Who?” I ask confused, my daydream cut short.

  “My mom.”

  “With you?”

  “With both of us.”

  “When?”

  “She didn’t say, but I basically told her that we are dating.”

  “Whoa, whoa, whoa. What exactly did you say to her, Ivy?”

  “I told her earlier that she’s been making me miserable and she flew off the handle, so I ignored her.” I glare at her, as much as her mom pisses me off, she really has no one left except for Ivy.

  “Let me just read it to you,” she says and scrolls through her messages with her eyebrows scrunched together. “Mom, yes, I have been ignoring you but for a reason—the words that you said to Krane yesterday were hurtful. He has been amazing to me and has helped me in so many ways that you’d never understand. He’s shown me how to be strong and to cope with the loss of Zoë. I can see the pain that he’s gone through losing her and for you to blame him, it’s not fair. During everything that we’ve gone through together, we’ve grown close. Granted none of us knows what the future will hold, but I know that mine will have Krane in it. So if you want to be part of my life, then you need to let go of the resentment that you have against him and be a part of his life too.”

  I swallow hard after hearing her words and realize how much I’ve helped her. I mean, I can remember times right after Zoë passed that she was a wreck and I had to force her to be strong. I’d talk to her ’til she fell asleep and then call her in the morning when I got up to wake her, forcing her out of bed. But I was drunk most of the time, so I didn’t realize then the impact that I was having on her. Thinking about those times makes me realize how she’s changed me too. When I’m with Ivy, drinking is the last thing on my mind. I don’t even have a desire to do it, as long as she is with me.

  “You really feel that way, about the future?”

  “Yeah. I don’t want to face it without you. I’ve tried and it’s ugly. I’m not myself when we are apart; you’ve shown me the Ivy that I’m supposed to be.”

  Parking the truck at the airport, I turn it off and look over at her. I know that I’m not myself when we are apart either. “Ivy…I love you.” I didn’t plan on telling her this, but when it hits me, telling her is one of the easiest things I’ve ever done.

  She smiles from ear to ear and takes my hand placing it over her heart. “I love you, Krane.” Her heart pounds profusely and she says, “This is what you do to me any time that we’re together.”

  Bringing her lips to mine, I study her eyes and wonder how in the world I got so lucky…again. I hesitate for a second before kissing her and ask, “Ready to see what the future will hold?” She answers me with a kiss and then we hop out of the truck.

  Grabbing our bags, I see the ACM plane right away. It is wrapped in graphics with their company logo and sponsors, making it stick out more than any other plane on the tarmac. Logan waves from the door, popping his head out. “Holy shit,” Ivy says excitedly. We head that way and I can’t help but look at her. She looks different – calmer – happier.

  Walking to the stairs, I lead Ivy up in front of me. Inside, two flight attendants greet us, handing us two glasses of Champagne as they take our bags and the two pilots in the cockpit wave at us.

  “Will there be anyone else?” one of the attendants asks Logan.

  “No, ma’am.”

  Victoria and Ivy hug all giddy and excited. I take a look around the plane as I fist bump Logan. “Man, this is unreal.”

  “I know, right? Here, let’s sit down, I have a lot to go over with you.”

  We take a seat and he hands me a folder of paperwork, and says, “These are stipulations, if you do sign. They want you to review everything now.”

  There has to be over fifty pages here. As I flip through skimming it, there are all sorts of different things, a section for approved fight apparel, marketing clauses, a slew of different bonuses.

  Fuck, this is a lot.

  “What are we thinking going into this with just the two of us?” I close the packet and hand it back to him.

  The stewardess walks by and I stop her. “Could I have a shot of tequila, please?” I have got to steady my nerves. Even Ivy’s calming powers can’t battle the swarm rising in my stomach.

  Logan glares at me and interrupts her, “He’ll take a bottle of water. Krane, you agreed to let me manage you. I’m not going to let you go into the biggest meeting of your life drunk.”

  “What’s the difference? Drunk or not, we’re not prepared to do this. Have you read any of this?”

  “Yeah, every page, and I spoke to ACM about some concerns I already have. That’s why I want to go over it with you now.”

  “Regardless of concerns, we need someone with a legal background to look over anything before I sign it.” I glance at Ivy and she nods her head in agreement.

  “They will have an attorney present to work out everything, they are prepared to negotiate and are dead serious about bringing you into their fighting family. If you would stop being so fucking difficult and trust me, you’d see that I can do this and am prepared to make sure you get a sweet deal.”

  “Umm, an attorney for their side, not mine, but I’ll trust you. And what about Ronnie?”

  “He has nothing to do with your deal. It was an unfortunate outcome, but you’re not liable in any way. Would you let that go, man?”

  I take Ivy’s hand and wrap it in mine. I move my eyes to the window and zone out Logan’s stare. It’s not that I don’t want to. I can’t. My head is all over the place…maybe I’m not ready to do this.

  I just need five minutes alone with Ivy to set my head straight.

  After the plane landed in Vegas, a private car picked us up to take us to the meeting with ACM. Logan and I discussed things the entire flight, but nothing he’s said has sold me on doing this. I feel like I am about to sign my life away and that scares me. What if I end up like Ronnie?

  “You okay?” Ivy asks, kissing my neck. I nod my head looking at her for something, anything to get me through this.

  “Okay, they are all ready for us,” Logan says hanging up hi
s phone. The car comes to a stop and the driver opens the rear door.

  “I need to talk to you,” I whisper to Ivy. Then Logan gets out first and I follow.

  “Hey, man, can I have a few minutes alone with Ivy?” I ask before proceeding.

  “Sure, I’ll let them know we’re here.”

  Logan walks off and I guide Ivy out of the car, she takes my hands looking into my eyes as they follow his back. “What’s going though your head?”

  “How do I know this is the right thing to do?”

  “Look at me,” bringing my face to hers. “You know as well as I do that nothing is guaranteed in life, everything could end tomorrow. This might be your only opportunity at a real fighting career, so you’ve gotta go in there with an open mind and at least explore the options.”

  “I hear ya, but what if I sign a contract and get injured fighting or they require me to move somewhere to train?”

  “You know that this job comes with a great risk, but you’ve got the best angel watching over you. I believe that Zoë will keep you safe. And if you move, I move. I’ll go where you go. That should be the least of your worries. You gotta have faith in us, in me. Stop thinking stupid thoughts. Are you in this for the long haul?” I nod my head, taking in her words of encouragement. “Well, you know I am. This deal could change your life for the better, it could give you the future that you’ve always dreamed of. Zoë would want you to do this. So listen to me when I tell you that I am not going anywhere and I will support whatever you decide, because I fucking love you, Krane Hensley.”

  Logan opens the door and whistles for me, “Let’s go, man.”

  Leaning in, I kiss Ivy, knowing that no matter what happens, I’ll have her in the end.

  “How are you gonna tell Ivy?” Logan asks me as we walk to the elevator in our hotel.

  “I’m not, my face will tell her everything.”

  He presses the elevator call button and I exhale. “Damn, I need a drink,” I say as we step inside.

  “You and me both.”

  “You know, if we’d brought our own attorney that would have probably been done in half the time.” It’s after eight; the meeting lasted over three hours. Thank God the girls checked into the rooms rather than sitting there and waiting for us. As the doors open to the twenty-second floor, Logan points to the direction that we are headed and says, “Here you are, twenty-two eleven,” as we approach my room.