Want & Need

by CJ Laurence

  “What the hell is this?”

  “His parents own the biggest swingers’ club in the country. They own a string of night clubs up and down the country for straights, gays, bis—anything goes. They are the bees knees when it comes to fulfilling your greatest desires. Then they have an exclusive level club, which is where all the really wild stuff happens. It’s called The Triple C. You have to be accepted into this circle—you can’t just join. There are certain…parameters you must meet.”

  “What? Are you actually being serious?”

  He nodded. “Read it.”

  I browsed through the website, reading the long list of locations for their nightclubs which included The Tiger’s Eye. Nearly every major city had one of their clubs. I was stunned into silence as I dared to click on the link for The Triple C. It refused me access, inviting me to set up an account to view further information.

  I spun the laptop back round. “It won’t let me in. What is it?”

  He grinned. “It’s basically a club for couples who want to indulge their fantasies with other couples. They do allow singles in but not many. You have to be something exceptional. Being good looking is a must for getting in there. Apparently they keep files on everyone—they ask your deepest darkest fantasies, what you do and don’t like, and match you to similar minded people. Basically, they’re sex match makers.”

  “That’s…weird.”

  “But genius if you think about it. How many marriages fall apart because one of them isn’t getting their fantasies fulfilled so they go off and pay some hooker or escort to do it with them? This is a way for couples to accept each other’s fantasies and let them be acted out safely, properly, and with no lies, sneaking around, or anything else. They’ve apparently saved a lot of relationships.”

  “From letting wives see other women sleep with their husbands? I just don’t get it, Ash. It’s wrong on so many levels.”

  He shrugged his shoulders. “It works both ways. A lot of men get off watching their wife with someone else. It’s just human nature. We’re all different.”

  “What does Triple C stand for?”

  He grinned. “Crave, Choose, Come.”

  “Ewww!”

  He laughed at my reaction as he continued eating his food.

  “So what is your point of telling me all this?”

  “To try to make you see it’s not some seedy gig like you’re thinking. It’s just adults who are free with themselves and comfortable with letting their partners be with other people. There is a massive difference between having sex with someone and being with someone in a relationship. For these people, it’s just a simple division, as easy as that.”

  “How do you know so much about all of this anyway?”

  “A gay friend of mine got into The Triple C with his partner.”

  I suddenly remembered how Paul had noticed straight away that Ash was gay. That was how he knew—he was around all sorts all of the time.

  “This is just too much. What am I supposed to do with this information?”

  “Make an informed decision.”

  “About what exactly?”

  “I don’t know. Paul…whether you fancy trying it out or not.”

  “You are kidding me right? Please tell me you are kidding?” I was beyond mortified my brother was even suggesting this to me.

  “No, not at all. What have you got to lose? You’ll be in an exclusive club with direct links to the owners, not to mention sleeping with one of them. Not only that, you’ll be surrounded by other hot people who just want to have fun. You are freaked out about settling down, Paul doesn’t do relationships, so what’s the issue?”

  I narrowed my eyes at him. “Did he put you up to this?”

  “Who? Paul? No. I’m just looking at it from a different point of view, Kyra. What’s wrong in having some fun whilst you wait for Mr. Right to come along?”

  I glared at him and stared down at the table. I didn’t know what to say because in all honesty, I couldn’t really argue against his point. I was single. If I was married or with a partner and being presented with all of this, then my reaction would be totally justified. But why was I freaking out about indulging myself with some gorgeous people with no strings attached?

  “It just feels wrong. I’d just feel like a complete slag.”

  He laughed. “I wouldn’t worry, Ky. You and I both know of a certain someone who has had more pricks than a second hand dartboard and she still walks around with her head held high. There’s no way you’ll work your way past her number.”

  “Ash. Stop it.”

  “Right, anyway. Time for me to go. My programme starts in ten minutes and you need to go back to bed. You look like death warmed up.”

  I rolled my eyes and we said our goodbyes. I found myself pondering over his words. Maybe I could make sense of all this with a clear head after a decent sleep.

  Chapter Seventeen

  I went into work the next morning, still very much in the same mind set as I had been since Saturday evening. I wanted nothing to do with it despite Ash’s little talk. The second I stepped through the door, Mr. Andrews commandeered me, steering me into his office before giving me a twenty-minute talk on his entire client database, which he wanted redone.

  He was halfway through his monotone drone when I heard the office door click shut and Mr. Harris walking across the floor.

  “Is Kyra still off?” he asked.

  A second voice answered that stilled my heart in an instant—Paul. “I don’t know.”

  “Can you call her, please, Paul? She should be ringing in sick every day she’s off and speaking to one of us, not her friend downstairs.”

  “If she calls before we’re in, there isn’t a lot she can do except leave a message, is there?”

  Harris went silent for a moment before he snapped at Paul. “Just call her.”

  “You are not my boss, Harris. Get one of the admin girls to call her.”

  I heard Paul’s office door slam shut and moments later, Harris’ followed suit.

  Struggling to contain a smirk, I finished listening to Mr. Andrews before heading back out to my desk. Making my ritual cup of tea, I sat at my desk, quietly humming away to myself as I worked through his client files.

  “Kyra?”

  I lifted my gaze to see Paul standing in front of my desk. My breath caught in my throat when I looked at those beautiful blue eyes. I wanted to melt at his feet. Using every last ounce of strength in me, I focused my attention back down to my work, not even dignifying him with an answer.

  “Can we talk, please?”

  My heart started racing at the thought of being alone with him again. I could feel my body responding to his presence already. I refused to look up at him but gave him an answer. “What about?”

  “You know what.”

  “If it’s not work related, then no, we can’t talk.”

  “Is that it? You’re not even going to hear me out?”

  “Hear you out about what?” I took a deep breath, only to be met with his pained expression. “You have your life and I have mine. That’s it. Simple.”

  He sighed and ran his tongue over his lips. My mind began betraying me, showing me memories of what that tongue could do to me. I pushed the thoughts away, my heart continuing to race.

  He took a step closer, his eyes imploring for my sympathy. “Just five minutes?”

  I sighed and crossed my arms over my chest. “Fine.”

  I walked into his office and marched to the other side of the room before turning to face him.

  He started coming towards me, arms outstretched.

  “Don’t.” I held my hand up to stop him. “You can talk from there.”

  “Okay.”

  A long silence fell between us whilst I waited for him to speak. I glared at him, secretly enjoying watching him squirm. “Well, you have three minutes left.”

  “Look, I know what it looks like but I didn’t start something with you in order to get you involved
in all of that.”

  “At the moment, Paul, that is the least of my worries. I’m more concerned with the fact you’ve been sleeping with other people whilst sleeping with me.”

  “I haven’t.”

  I snorted at him. “Please. I didn’t fall from the Christmas tree yesterday.”

  “I’m telling you the truth. I have no need to lie.”

  “Yes, you do if you think you’re going to involve me in all of that…stuff.”

  “Look, I know it’s weird to most people but it’s how I was brought up. I don’t know any different. You can’t miss what you never had.”

  “So you’ve never had a normal relationship?”

  He faltered for a second before answering me. “One. When I was younger. It was a long time ago now, though.”

  “What happened?”

  He cleared his throat. “She went off with someone else.”

  “Oh.” Something inside of me softened but I ignored it. “How old were you?”

  “I was sixteen. We both were.”

  “Oh. So what is this, then? Your way of dealing with the fact you got cheated on?”

  He shrugged his shoulders. “It’s all I know. I just kind of fell into it after her and that’s all I’ve known since. I’ve spent nearly twenty years like this. The year I had with her doesn’t really compare. The way I see it, there are no jealousy issues, no complex dealings of relationships, no expectations, no arguments. It’s just all easy and I can pick and choose as I please to an extent.”

  I raised my eyebrows. “All just easy and picking and choosing as you please? Are you being serious right now? You talk about it like they’re pieces of meat.”

  “No, I didn’t mean it like that. Sorry, that came out wrong. What I meant was that my life is easy. I am just me. I don’t have to worry about anyone else or anything else that goes with it. When it comes to sex, I have what I know.”

  I shook my head, chuckling. “Wow. And I thought I was screwed up.”

  “I’m not screwed up, Kyra. It’s just how my life is. Just because it’s different to yours it doesn’t make me wrong.”

  “It makes you wrong to me.”

  “Why?”

  “It’s dirty, it’s wrong. What happened to the sanctity of marriage?”

  “You’ll be surprised how many relationships this has saved. We provide a place for people to have their fantasies but still have their partners too. It’s a win-win.”

  “How exactly? I know for a fact if I was married, I wouldn’t want my husband acting out his fantasies with some other woman, I’d want him to act them out with me.”

  “But not everyone is like that. Some women only like sex once a week, once a month, not at all. Or they only want it in certain positions. Or they won’t play and experiment. Would you deny your husband the experience of trying something out just because you didn’t like the thought of it?”

  “If that involved being intimate with another woman, then yes.”

  “Coming from the woman who won’t commit? Yet you speak about it like you’re experienced in the area.”

  My jaw clenched as I hardened my stare on him. “You pompous bastard. How dare you.”

  I stomped towards the door, my anger boiling once more. As I passed him, he grabbed my arm.

  “Ky…”

  Before I knew what I was doing, my hand reached out, slapping him across the face with a hell of a crack. His grip loosened and I shook his touch from me, reaching for the door handle.

  “Ky, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. I’m just trying to make you see it’s not like you think it is.”

  “Why is that so important to you?”

  “Because I liked the time we spent together.”

  My heart flipped upside down at his confession. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. A deep ache began to grow in my chest as I thought of his touch, his kiss, his skin against mine. That one simple sentence made me question my own beliefs, the whole point of my being mad at him.

  I opened my eyes to see him stood within arm’s reach, his eyes sweeping me up in their captivating gaze once again. “I…”

  “We had fun, right? We enjoyed our time together? Why should my parents’ business stop us enjoying each other?”

  My arguments melted into oblivion and I became lost in a hazy ocean between his twinkling eyes and his silk laden voice. “I…I’ll think about it.”

  He shrugged his shoulders. “Okay.” He grinned before giving me a cheeky wink. “I’ll give you a week.”

  I narrowed my eyes at his reference to our conversation on Saturday. Snorting at him, I strode out of the door, muttering various curses under my breath as I headed for the bathroom. Locking the door behind me, my mind wandered back to what happened in here a mere few days ago.

  A deep yearning grumbled in my gut as I struggled between my head and my heart. I knew I didn’t need his complications in my life but my God, I did want him.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Paul disappeared down to Devon with Mr. Collins for most of the week. It was a blessing in disguise because it left me to clear my head without his presence sending my hormones into overdrive. I couldn’t deny I craved his touch, his mouth on mine, his hands roaming over my body. Just the mere thought of him had me in hot flushes.

  Ash spent most of the week convincing me to pick up where we left off. My heart and head were in a constant tug of war, which was frustrating enough without him trying to nudge me in one direction.

  I decided over lunch with Molly to ask for her opinion.

  “Do you remember what it was like before you met Chris?”

  “Yeah, course I do.”

  “Did you feel bad about your history when you met him?”

  She giggled. “You mean all the guys I’ve been with?”

  I nodded, smirking.

  “No. I had to have a life before him. It’s not like he’s a virgin either.”

  “Do you ever miss it? Your life before him?”

  She shook her head. “I don’t need to miss anything. That was just amusement, fun, whilst I waited for the right guy.”

  I smiled, nodding. Her words made sense.

  “Why do you ask?”

  I shrugged my shoulders. “I don’t know. I just know that this thing with Paul isn’t going to go anywhere and I don’t know whether to cut it off now or carry on until I meet the right guy.”

  She squealed in excitement. “Are you thinking about settling down?”

  “Eventually, yes. But I don’t want to get all caught up with Paul only to be knocked back when I have to end it for someone else.”

  “Maybe he’ll change his mind. You never know.”

  “Not likely. Trust me.”

  “Well.” She reached across, gripping my forearm in excitement. “Chris has a younger brother who is single. He is lurvly. You will love him!”

  I rolled my eyes. “Molly, seriously!”

  “Trust me, you will love him. He’s gorgeous, charming, funny, a true gent, and he’s loaded. You get the whole package you get with Paul except he wants commitment so he’s better.”

  I laughed. “And probably got a micro penis.”

  She spluttered on her drink as I said it. “If Chris is anything to go by, then definitely not.”

  “TMI, Molly. TMI!”

  Grinning, she continued on. “Well, he’s back from America in the next couple of weeks so maybe you can happen to come by the house when he’s back.”

  “We’ll see.”

  ***

  By the time Friday arrived, I was still tussling with myself, no definitive answer to give to Paul when he returned this morning. Both Ash and Molly seemed to have the opinion that having fun whilst waiting for Mr. Right was fine. Molly didn’t know the full story behind it all, though, and I was worried about being sucked into the whole thing. Ash seemed to think it was some sort of adventure and I would be a fool to pass up the opportunity.

  I decided I would just go with the flow. Whatev
er scenario arose with Paul, I would just deal with it at the time. I didn’t want to prepare for one thing and something else happen instead. He walked in just after nine o’clock, flashing me a dazzling smile before he went to his office.

  My heart started thudding the second I saw him. I began to wonder whether this was something I had to get out of my system so I could consider meeting Mr. Right. If I cut it off now, I would always be having these reactions to him. I couldn’t be with someone else if I kept feeling things like this for him. It would be wrong and wouldn’t sit right with me.

  I was so lost in my thoughts I didn’t even register him staring at me from his open doorway until he spoke.

  “You coming?”

  I looked up in surprise at hearing his voice and those words. What they meant in my head with my current train of thought meant the complete opposite to what he intended.

  “Sorry?”

  His eyes held a mischievous glow. “We need to talk. You’ve not spoken to me all week. I think we need to settle this, don’t we?”

  I blushed and nodded. I took a deep breath and stood up, smoothing out my clothes before making my way towards the delicious specimen of a man before me.

  He didn’t move from the doorway, only turning slightly so I could get inside. I brushed his body as I walked past. It was impossible not to do so. I knew he’d done it on purpose.

  I turned around to face him as he closed the door and snapped the blinds shut.

  “So, how many women did you find in Devon?”

  He grinned. “Anyone would think you were jealous, Kyra.”

  I snorted. “Jealous of what exactly?”

  He closed the gap between us with a couple of steps. “Let’s face it, you can’t resist me. You don’t want to admit it but you want to give in, don’t you?”

  I scanned over his handsome face. My heart was already picking up speed, my chest tightening. “You’re very cocky.”

  He winked. “You would know…”

  I narrowed my eyes as I began to think of what he was hiding underneath those perfectly fitted clothes. This was his intention all along, and I hated to be giving in to him—mentally, not physically.