Surviving Love

by M. S. Brannon

  “Me, neither,” Zoe whispers back and sparks my desires to full-on lust.

  I grab a hold of the back of my shirt and rip it over my head. She has no time to react when I then yank her shirt off along with mine. The carnal beast inside of me has taken over my body, and there is only one thing on its mind.

  Zoe reaches around and unclasps her bra, freeing her breasts. She stands on her tiptoes to kiss my lips, but I avoid them like the plague, taking an old rule from Jake’s book. I want to avoid any move that can spark emotions in the other person. Instead, I plant my mouth on her jaw and trail my lips down her long, swan-like neck. It’s so beautiful and her skin is so soft. My tongue slips from my mouth as I taste and nip my way down to her collarbone then over to the other side.

  Zoe lets out a sensual moan, and I can hear the desire as it escapes her throat. I break myself free from her neck then push her back at arm’s length. She only stares, bewildered at what I’m going to do. I take her by surprise, pushing her down on the air mattress, before I fall down on top of her, kissing my way over to her breast and suckling her nipple.

  As I put it into my mouth, her nipple becomes taut and hard; it buds under my lips. Zoe is writhing underneath me, grinding herself against my dick. I move over to her other breast and continue the onslaught with her other nipple. She’s moaning and quivering, ready to feel me inside of her.

  Before I allow anything to stop me, I sit up on my knees and unfasten her jeans. She lifts her hips slightly, allowing me to pull them over her ass, down her thighs and over her knees. I toss them to the floor and look at her lying under me, wearing nothing but a black, lace thong.

  I move down her body with my lips, kissing and biting her hot, slick skin until I find my way to the hem of her panties. I pull them off her body before I stand, undoing my own jeans and sliding them down. Zoe sits up on her knees with her eyes glazed over, oozing sex, and then grabs my dick in her hand.

  She strokes it slowly from the tip down to the base and then back up. Her mouth comes forward and I feel her soft, supple lips wrap around my cock. Heat and pleasure erupt inside my body. It’s been so long since I’ve felt comfortable to even touch myself that to now have Zoe’s mouth sucking my dick… makes me want to live in this moment forever.

  She strokes my cock as she starts to quickly pump it in and out of her mouth. I can feel I’m close, but I don’t want completion this way. I pull her from me and push her back on the bed. I settle myself between her legs, and before another thought surfaces in my brain, I shove my dick inside her body and shudder. Her entrance is tight and warm, sucking me in deeper as I hold myself still inside her.

  Zoe releases another moan, and it awakens my sleeping libido. I push hard, slow and deep. She screams, her voice mirroring the aching vocals coming from the stereo. I pull back, hold myself still, then push hard once again, knowing she’s about to unravel around me. I slightly lift my hips, grab her long, sexy legs and hook them over my shoulders. When I return my hands to the mattress, I lean down, putting her face close to mine as I fold her in half. She comes instantly as her body starts to quiver uncontrollably and she screams my name. The sounds coming from her body are intoxicating. I can feel my balls getting heavy and my thighs burning for my own release.

  I pull her legs down and start to move, fast. I thrust my body in and out of her, so quick and hard. Zoe handles my movement, meeting me thrust for thrust. I can feel the familiar build and its then I realize I’m not wearing a condom. Fuck! I’m not going to last too much longer and I’m not going to blow my load inside of her.

  “Zoe…” I say through faint breaths. “I’m gonna…I’m gonna come.”

  “It’s okay. Here.” She pushes me off her and I make it to my feet. She sits up swiftly to her knees and sucks my throbbing, hard dick back into her mouth. Zoe wildly sucks my dick until I can no longer hold it back. My head falls back out of sheer, unadulterated pleasure. When I tip my head forward, I grab the back of her neck, grasping her hair in my hand as I start to fuck her mouth.

  I pump my hips rapidly until the warmth of my come pours from my body and down her throat. She sucks every last drop, savoring my taste. When I’m finally done, I fall to the air mattress, pulling her down with me. I am spent, drained. My energy is gone as I lie back and fall fast asleep.

  Chapter 16

  Zoe

  I awaken a couple hours later from the most incredible sex I’ve ever had. Drake is passed out next to me, completely naked and sprawled across my king size air mattress. The only light in my apartment is glowing from my stereo, but it provides enough light to look at him. He is a really beautiful man with his rock hard chest, well defined abdomen muscles, and the ever present V trailing down to his wonderful cock. I can’t take my eyes off it, and it’s not like I haven’t seen a man naked before, yet Drake’s cock is perfect. From the base where it extends from his body to the tip, it’s the perfect size and length to fit inside me—it is unbelievable.

  I can’t help myself, I need to touch it. I want him to be hard because I need to feel his dick inside of me again. I keep my eyes on his sleeping face as I slowly move my hand over to his body and put him in my hand. It only takes a couple of long, slow strokes to have it hard in my hand. It’s as hard as stone yet as soft and smooth as the finest silk.

  I keep my hand on him, slowly bringing it to life. I move my face close to his. His lips are full and very sexy, and I want to feel them against mine. As I lean forward, I get within a centimeter when Drake’s eyes fly open. They are angry, maybe scared, or confused. It’s hard to tell, but I know they are not happy.

  He rolls over on top of me, pinning my shoulders down to the mattress. My hand releases his dick and lies lifeless to my side. It’s then I get to look into his eyes. They are molten and angry. I start to feel scared. I know he has a history of rage-filled outbursts and I’ve been so sure they were gone, but now I can see the fury that lies underneath.

  “Don’t…” he whispers, putting his face so close to mine. “Don’t ever try to kiss me.” The tone coming from him is low and dark. He climbs off me and stands to his feet then reaches for his jeans.

  I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t help it. I have to know why he is so against kissing.

  I grab his jeans from his hands and toss them back to the floor. I get to my feet and stand tall, so I can confront this angry man. I know it’s wrong, however I’m just stupid enough to follow through with it.

  “Tell me why,” I demand.

  “Because it doesn’t belong to you.” He bends to get his jeans again, but I kick them out of his reach. Drake’s eyes ignite as he turns fully to me. The muscles in his arms are rock hard and the tension I’ve seen when we first met is back.

  “What the fuck does that mean?” I’m walking on unsteady ground, brushing my way to his edge, and one wrong move will topple me over the side.

  Drake steps close to me, putting no distance between us. He lifts his hands, cupping my cheeks and it’s then I think he’s going to kiss me, but he doesn’t. Instead, he walks me back to the wall and pushes me against it. It’s a little painful, but I’m too overwhelmed to stop him from whatever he’s going to do.

  Drake leans forward, our foreheads touching. Then his eyes transform back into the broken pieces of black glass I’m used to seeing. He glances to my lips and back up to my eyes. “Because kissing falls in the category of more, and I will never be able to give you that.”His breath is hot against my lips. He’s so close we are practically kissing with the air we expel from our lungs.

  As his hands leave my cheeks and slowly brush down my arms, I begin to feel the tingling excitement at the apex of my thighs. Drake bends down, grips my ass, and lifts me up with his powerful arms, holding me pressed against the wall. I wrap my legs around his waist.

  “But I can give you this,” he whispers, and before another word forms, Drake reaches down between our bodies and joins us. I feel his cock enter my body and everything stops as pleasure takes over.

/>   Drake grinds against me, slamming his body into mine. It doesn’t take long to feel the heat building in my core, and before any other thought can register, I come—hard. The shivering is present when the pleasure erupts and channels its way through my entire body.

  He pumps into me a couple more times then drops me onto the bed, coming down on top of me. When I open my eyes, I see his semen fall from his dick and onto my breasts. Beads of his white fluid pool and trail across my breasts, and I’m mesmerized. Seeing his face become completely overtaken by the pleasure I was giving him is enough to make me want to come again. I can feel the heat beating at the heart of my core.

  I take my finger and trace it down my body, dipping it into his juices resting on my breast then put my finger in my mouth, tasting his saltiness. I move my hand between our bodies landing it on my clit. Drake looks back at me with want and lust. I start to move my fingers in circles on my small, sweet spot.

  With my other hand, I push Drake off of me so he’s kneeling on the floor, giving him an up close and personal view of my show. He sits back on his heels, his face captivated as I deeply run circles over my clit. The intensity is growing and my fingers are complying with my body’s needs. I keep moving them around, faster and faster with every second. Drake hasn’t looked away. He gazes between my legs as I start to quiver. His eyes meet mine and he watches me as I unravel for him.

  I let the pleasurable feeling comedown a bit, and then I sit up so our faces are close once again. I desire to kiss him, yet I respect his inability to have more and say, “And I can give you this.”

  Drake

  After fucking Zoe for the third time, she has fallen into a deep, deep sleep. I, on the other hand, am completely awake. The tequila in my system has burned off hours ago, and as I lie next to this beautiful woman, guilt is all that my body feels now. Being with her has been amazing and I’ve never expected it to be as intense as it was, but what have I really done? I’m confused because one part of me really likes what Zoe and I have together, but the other part of me feels like I’ve just cheated on Presley.

  I really don’t remember too much of what sex was like before I met Presley. With her, it was always gentle and soft. Sometimes she’d get a little wild, but never what I’ve experienced with Zoe. I never really wanted to go too crazy with Presley, thinking I could hurt her or take her back to a dark place she had experienced with Robert.

  Zoe, on the other hand…well, I think she can take it. She’s not as fragile as Presley was, and I have a feeling her past has made her that way. She liked it when I came in her mouth and on her breasts. She liked touching herself, knowing I was watching. I don’t think any of that was an act. Zoe truly liked what she was doing, and the terrifying part is that I really liked what she was doing, too.

  I look over and see light starting to come through the window. It’s time for me to go. I roll off the bed and quickly dress. After I put on my boots, I give another look to Zoe who is lying on her stomach with the sheet pulled down, just barely covering her ass, and I feel guilty again. She has told me that she couldn’t give me more, and I really hope she is serious. Because I know I can’t.

  I pull open the door and walk out into the cold, winter morning. I let the Chevelle warm up for a couple of minutes while I scrape the windows then drive away from her apartment and to my house, dragging my guilt with me.

  Chapter 17

  Drake

  When Mia and I go over to Mrs. Fields for our Thursday night supper, this is the worst I’ve ever seen her. She is lying in her bed while the nurse is sitting in the chair beside her. Mrs. Fields is barely able to keep her eyes open. She is still coherent, which the nurse tells me is a good sign, however it won’t be long before she will not be awake at all because she will be gone. Like Presley, gone.

  Mia is watching Mickey Mouse while snuggling up with Mrs. Fields as I nervously start to think, pacing the room, when her faint voice stops me in my tracks. “Drake…can you do something for me?”

  I fall to her side, holding her hand.“Of course. Whatever you need.”

  “I know it won’t be long now…” My heart falls to the floor, knowing what she saying is the brutal truth I do not want to hear. “I want to have Thanksgiving dinner.” Confused, I’m thinking she wants me to run up to Francine’s, the local diner, and ask for their version of Thanksgiving dinner, but I stand corrected. “I want you and your family to come over here on Sunday. I want all of us to have Thanksgiving dinner. I know I won’t…won’t make it ‘til then.”

  Tears start to fill my eyes and I nod at her request. It is the least I could do for the years of love and support she’s shown me. “Consider it done.”

  ***

  Sunday rolls around quicker than expected. Mia is settled in her car seat as I finish loading the groceries in the trunk. My entire family has jumped all in when I told them about Mrs. Fields’s request. Delilah and Darcie went shopping for the groceries and started making some of the food ahead of time yesterday. Reggie and I loaded Big Mike’s truck with a long table and chairs from the bar yesterday and set them up in the apartment.

  Zoe has said she’ll take care of the decorations and help with the cooking. We have not really talked since the night we had sex. I snuck out of her apartment like a coward because I was too afraid to confront the new emotions she’s starting to make me feel. Before we had sex, we were friendly with one another. There were times where she’d tell a wildly inappropriate joke, making me laugh, but we’d never been on a level of intimacy. Once we had sex, all of that changed.

  There is something hidden behind her eyes. She’s fighting with something, but what?

  A week later, the guilty feelings of being with her have not gone away. I really enjoyed the night we spent with one another, but what did I do to the memory of Presley? Am I starting to replace her because I’m feeling something new for someone else?

  After I left her apartment that night, I drove home, wanting to turn back. I didn’t want to leave like that—I wanted to be with her one more time. However, I knew reality would always be chasing me, and I have a devotion to myself and to Presley that she’ll be the only woman in my life.

  I pull into the apartment parking lot and pull my Chevelle next to Zoe’s. I take Mia from the back then make my way to the door. When I walk in, Zoe has pushed all the living room furniture to the walls to make more room for the table Reggie set up yesterday. She’s draped a Thanksgiving themed tablecloth over the table and has a paper cornucopia sitting as a center piece.

  I set Mia down and she goes running into Zoe’s arms, demanding to be picked up. Zoe obliges my daughter and smiles. “Zoooooeeee!”Mia shouts then puts her arms around her neck. Zoe looks to me and is slightly confused, considering this is the most affection Mia has shown her, but she doesn’t say anything, just hugs Mia back. “Go see Nanny?” Mia asks and squirms down from her arms.

  “Sure,” Zoe says and then follows Mia down the hall and into Mrs. Fields’s room.

  I head down to the car and start hauling up the groceries as the rest of my family pulls into the parking lot. Jake is carrying the electric roaster with the turkey, Reggie has his arms full of other covered dishes and Darcie and Delilah have sacks of stuff. We all set the items where we can find the space and then the girls get to work, finishing up the meal.

  Reggie, Jake and I set the chairs around the table then sit in silence. The reason why we are here is a little awkward for us, knowing this will be the last Thanksgiving meal Mrs. Fields will have. And from now on, I won’t be able to get through a Thanksgiving dinner without thinking of her. The day is going to be bittersweet, but it’s important nonetheless.

  Zoe

  I was really nervous this morning at knowing I would see Drake for the first time since last Saturday night. It was one of the best nights of my life, though when I woke up to an empty bed, I didn’t feel great at all. I actually felt lonely—a feeling that hasn’t surfaced in years. I’ve always been okay on my own and really en
joyed it, yet after that night, loneliness is all I’ve been feeling. It’s scary.

  Two days ago, I finally got the nerve to call Connie’s daughter to tell her about her mother’s condition. I knew their relationship was rocky, but I wasn’t expecting to get the cold-hearted comments coming through on the other end.

  “The prodigal whore returns. So what do you want, Zoe? Money for a VD treatment?” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Granted, she’s called me a whore before, but it’s been years since we’ve spoken and this is how she’s going to treat me?

  “Well, I can see nothing’s changed,” I snap back.

  “I know all about you, Zoe. Sophia enlightened me and your mother when you left four years ago and I’m ashamed you’re related to me.” I can hear Rebecca’s disdain in her voice. It pisses me off even more with how Sophia would talk about me behind my back.

  “I just called to tell you that your mother is not well. She’s not expected to live through the month and I thought you’d like to know.” I swallow down the anger burning inside of me, knowing my aunt is a few feet away from me.

  “How do you know about my mom?”

  “Because I’ve been caring for her for the last few months.”

  “What! How did—”

  “It doesn’t matter, Rebecca. I just wanted you to know that you could pay your respects and repent for your soul or whatever it is an evil witch needs to do to ask for a person’s forgiveness.” I can feel my blood pump wildly as the adrenaline storms inside of me. “Feel free to pass this information to Virginia as I won’t be calling her.

  “Aunt Connie has been moved to her apartment where she will live out her final days. Call this number if you’re planning on visiting.” With that, I disconnected the call and slammed my cell phone on the table. Luckily for me, it didn’t break, but damn I wish it would have because I really wanted to break something right then.