Prescription for Desire

by Candace Shaw

  “You mean, Traci?” Raven asked with a yawn. It was after ten o’clock at night, but Raven had promised her mother she would come over. She was going to spend the night in the on-call room with Shelbi, since she was on call as well as a resident. Raven had two more patients there that could possibly deliver before daybreak. Luckily, Sahara was spending the weekend with her “grandparents” because Darla gave the Pomeranian the title grand dog.

  “Yes. She’s such a sweet, intelligent girl and knows her stuff about plants, especially orchids. She just went through a bad break up. I hope she finds a nice guy. She deserves it. Like you.”

  “Huh? Like me? Mother, I’m not looking for that at the present moment, but I will say that I feel comfortable trying to date again.” At least that’s what she kept telling herself. While it was true, she only wanted a man that was thousands of miles away.

  “Really? What about that fine hunk of man in Ghilaua? That’s who you should have gotten with.”

  Raven couldn’t believe her ears as she stared at her mother. Did she know something? She knew mothers had six senses when it came to their children. She’d spoken to her mother while away, but she never mentioned Armand. Did she?

  “Who are you talking about, Mother?”

  “Dr. Armand Phillips, the Chief of Staff. I saw his picture on the website a few weeks ago. Cannon was showing your father the updated site, and I just happened to glance over his shoulder and saw that gorgeous man. How did you manage to work around a man that damn fine without wanting him? That neatly trimmed beard he has, and oh my, what a beautiful smile. Did he ever smile at you? Girl, I love your daddy, but that Dr. Phillips is one fine specimen of a man.”

  Raven listened in utter shock at the words coming from the woman in front of her. She looked like her mother, but what she was saying definitely didn’t sound like her. Raven thought she was talking to Shelbi or Bria.

  “Um … Mom, it was a completely professional atmosphere.”

  “So you never had a chance alone with him?”

  Sure. In a truck, in the supply room, in his apartment, in the cabin, against a tree and countless other places.

  “We went to the orphanage about once a week.”

  “I remember you telling me.” Darla stacked up the empty plastic nursery containers and gazed at Raven with a serious expression. “You didn’t consider adopting any of the children there? None of them melted your heart?”

  “No, Mom, not at that time.” She thought about Israel and Isabella’s adorable little faces and precocious personalities. She truly prayed someone would adopt them soon.

  “And are you still thinking about adopting?”

  While somewhat glad for the change in topics, this was one Raven wasn’t ready to discuss either until she made up her mind. She leaned against the potting table and crossed her arms in front of her chest. “Not sure about that. I go back and forth with trying again, especially after days like today when I’m at the hospital all day, or like last week when I got called at four o’clock in the morning. I know it comes with the job. It’s the career I chose, and I love bringing … babies …” She had to stop as the tears flowed. Her mother pulled her into her arms, rocking her back and forth. “What about … me? My baby—”

  “Shhh … I know, baby girl.” Darla continued rocking Raven and kissing her forehead. “You just let it all out. Your mother is right here.”

  “I mean … don’t I deserve to have a baby? I’d make a great mother, too.”

  “Of course you do, and you will.”

  Raven pulled away from her mother and wiped her eyes. She laughed a little bit when she saw soil all over her green scrub shirt from her mother’s gardening gloves. Now she’d have to re-shower and change again. “You know I hate to complain.”

  Darla took off her gloves and set them on the potting table. “It’s not a complaint.” Patting her daughter’s hand, she led her to the bench to sit. “You’re just asking God for help.”

  She shook her head and smiled. “You’re always the one telling me to have a little faith, and I haven’t had any lately. In anything.” Her thoughts led her to letting Armand go because she couldn’t give him children, despite the fact that she knew he loved her and she loved him. She didn’t want to take the chance that even if they would’ve adopted, he would one day resent her because he didn’t have his own biological children.

  “God answers our prayers on His time, not yours.”

  “I know, Mom.” She kissed her mother on her cheek. “Thank you for being here for me through all of my ups and downs these past three years, or actually all of my life. I love you.”

  “I love you, too, baby. That’s why I’m here, and one day you’ll also be comforting your daughter about something.”

  She shook her head. “Mom—”

  “Stop, Raven. You mark my words. You’ll have your own daughter one day.”

  Raven smiled with a laugh. “Okay, Mom. I trust you.”

  Chapter Twelve

  It was the following Monday after the baby shower, and Raven sat on the couch on the veranda overlooking the lake behind her home. It had been a great day. She’d done a C-section that morning, saw patients for the majority of the day, and was finally able to make it home at a decent time to enjoy watching the sun go down. It was a little chilly outside, so she was wrapped in a blanket and had the fire pit lit. Sahara sat at her feet, or went running out to the grass every now and then. Raven reached for her tablet on a nearby table and scrolled through pictures of the time her and Armand chaperoned the children to the museum. She smiled at the picture of Israel banging the gavel on the judge’s stand, and little Isabella wanting to be a doctor just like her.

  She replayed her conversation with her mother over and over. Raven had always been practical, trying to stick by her life blueprint that she’d planned out when she was younger. However, she learned after Howard’s death and the miscarriage that plans could definitely change. Being in Ghilaua had definitely opened her eyes to the possibility of loving and trying for adoption again. She knew what she had with Armand was over with, but at least being with him gave her the encouragement and realization she needed to get out of the funk that had hindered her from living happily.

  Armand was the kind of man who didn’t live by a plan, and she admired that about him. He just did what he had to do when the opportunity presented itself. He’d traveled all over the world, helping people in different places with Doctors Unlimited and Doctors Without Borders, never wanting to settle in one place for a long period of time. She figured he’d probably take the position in Chile that he’d mentioned before she was leaving.

  Raven slid the blanket off and reached for her cell phone in her lap. She had to make the phone call she’d been waiting to make all day.

  “Hola?”

  “Hola, Maria. This is Raven Arrington.”

  “Well, hello, Raven. How are you?”

  “I’m doing well. I have a question for you if you have a moment.”

  “Of course, love. Go ahead.”

  “How long does the process take to adopt with you. I would love to adopt Isabella and Israel.”

  “Oh, wow! Raven, as wonderful as that is, the twins were adopted together a few weeks ago.”

  Raven was a little taken aback, yet relieved that they were together with a family. “Oh, that’s wonderful. Who adopted them?”

  “Because I do private adoptions, I’m not at liberty to say, but I promise you, the twins are in excellent hands and will be loved and welled cared for. Is there another child here that you would like to consider? Many of the ones that were here when you were are now gone, but there are five right now. I can email you their information and an application?”

  “Um … sure. That will be fine.”

  After hanging up, Raven was a little sad but elated that the twins were together. She knew how much Maria loved them, so if she let them go they were definitely in good hands.

  *****

  “Hey, sis, ho
w was the delivery?” Bria asked as Raven entered the practice’s break room. She opened the refrigerator and pulled out her lunch, which she had twenty minutes to wolf down before her next patient.

  “It went well.” She popped the lasagna into the microwave and pressed two minutes. “A baby girl.”

  “Cool. So why didn’t you mention how fine that Dr. Phillips was? Goodness!” Bria said, taking the last bite of her salad.

  Had she seen the picture, too, Raven wondered. Was her mother showing everyone?

  She shrugged and pulled a bottled water from the refrigerator. “Um … hadn’t really thought about it. He was my supervisor, but a really nice guy.”

  “Well, he walked up in here to meet with Cannon about an hour ago looking quite scrumptious. Not as fine as Rasheed, but …”

  Even though she knew Bria was still talking, Raven didn’t comprehend anything after he walked up in here. Her heartbeat sped up, and she couldn’t breathe. Literally. What was he doing here? Oh wait, to meet with Cannon. He sometimes met with doctors from Doctors Unlimited if they were in the States, but it was a rare occurrence. However, Bria had definitely said he was here to meet with Cannon, so Armand wasn’t here to see her. Was he? He’d stopped calling, but then again she never answered the phone. He did say he was coming for her, but it was in the heat of the moment because what they’d had was special. Plus, some people have a hard time saying goodbye.

  A loud beeping sound was blaring somewhere, but Raven couldn’t figure out where through the purple fog that was in front of her. Her mouth was dry and goose bumps prickled all over her skin.

  “Raven? Are you okay?”

  “Huh?” She felt arms around her, seating her in the chair.

  “Here, drink some of your water. It will cool you down.”

  She reached for the bottle that Bria handed to her and took a sip.

  “Is this your first time eating today? You’re always on the go. Sometimes I don’t know who’s worse. You or your twin.”

  “Um … no, I haven’t eaten yet. Just a little dizzy.”

  Moments later, Bria brought over the lasagna and a teaspoon of unsulphered black strap molasses for a natural energy booster. Raven took a few bites of her meal to please her sister, but she was no longer hungry. She couldn’t concentrate knowing Armand was a few doors down and she had no idea why.

  “So, do you know why Dr. Phillips is here?” she asked, barely able to get the words out.

  “Well apparently he no longer works for Doctors Unlimited. Cannon wants to hire him to take Mom’s place. I thought you knew. You two are the main decision makers for the practice.”

  “No. I wasn’t aware. I thought he wanted to hire Dr. Braxton.”

  “Dr. Braxton decided he didn’t want to merge his practice with ours.”

  “I was under the impression when I left Argentina that Ar– Dr. Phillips was going to help open another facility in Chile.”

  “I don’t know, but I did overhear him tell Dad that he had two children back in St. Louis. Dad mentioned to him the loft apartment building that me and Shelbi used to live, but Dr. Phillips said he wanted perhaps a townhome because of his children.”

  Children? He had children the entire time in St. Louis? Why didn’t Armand tell me he had children?

  Did he use her? Was that the normal thing he did whenever a new female doctor came? Make them feel special and pretend that he actually had feelings for them when he didn’t. She wondered how many women he’d taken to the cabin or made love to up against the sequoia tree. He certainly knew where it was. And making out in the supply room. That probably wasn’t a first. Oh no, what have I gotten myself into? And now he’s coming here to work because he wants to be near his children in St. Louis? Okay, so that was commendable, but he never mentioned he had children. Only his parents and his two sisters. And what about their mother? Was she coming here as well?

  “Raven. Glad you’re back.” She turned to see Cannon’s head peeking into the room. “Do you have a minute to step into the conference room?”

  “I have a patient …” She stopped to glance at her watch even though her stomach was churning at what she knew her brother was about to say. “In about ten minutes.”

  “This won’t take long.”

  “I’ll be there in a sec.” She took a swig of her water and pushed the chair back.

  “You feel better?” Bria asked, standing as well.

  “I’ll be fine.”

  Raven stopped by the ladies room to check her appearance. Today she had worn a gray sheath dress with a wide black belt, which was clenched at her waist above the flared skirt that hit the top of the boots, stopping right below the knees. She’d actually thought about Armand when she bought the dress because the color reminded her of his breathtaking eyes. Now she was mad she’d worn it. Her makeup was flawless, but she added a little more lipstick since she did eat and drink a little bit at lunch. She’d just had her hair roller set, so it was bouncy around her shoulders. She realized he’d never seen it that way. While in Argentina, she wore her natural curls because she only trusted her hairdresser in Memphis with her hair. She may have mixed feelings about Armand, but they weren’t going to show; she knew how to be professional. Plus, she wanted him to see what he could no longer have.

  Moments later, she entered the conference room. Her eyes zeroed on Armand, sitting on the right of her father, who was at the head of the table, and Cannon was seated on the left. They were in deep discussion with papers stacked in front of him, but his eyes met hers briefly before being torn away from whatever it was the elder Arrington was discussing. Her cell phone rang in her white coat, and she almost didn’t want to answer.

  “Hello?” she whispered.

  She listened to what the nurse was saying, but her eyes couldn’t tear themselves away from Armand. His broad shoulders filled out the black suit he wore. She’d never seen him in a suit before, but it definitely fit him well. Whatever Cannon was saying was making Armand smile. That sexy, yummy smile that even had her mother drooling over him. At one point she’d felt comforted and special just by seeing his smile, but now she hated it. He was fresh shaven today, even though she sort of preferred the five ‘o’clock shadow on him.

  “Mmmm hmmm,” she said to the nurse from the hospital. “Keep me posted.”

  “Raven,” Cannon called, “I need you to sign something. I know you have a patient in a few minutes.”

  “Yes, but I have a moment.” She went to the table and stood next to the seat by Cannon but didn’t sit down. Keep it together. Don’t let him see your hands shake.

  “Hello, Father. Dr. Phillips.” She reached across the table to shake his hand. “Surprised to see you here.”

  “Well, Dr. Arrington, I told you one day I would move back to the States so I could be near my loved ones.”

  “Yes, I do remember. I just thought you meant years from now.”

  He smiled. “That was the original plan, but plans and priorities change. Once you realize what your true passion and desire is, you go after it, you know.” The side of his lip rose in that perfect smile she knew all too well, and for a second she believed that he was talking about her.

  “Of course, Dr. Phillips.” She turned toward Cannon. “What am I signing?”

  “Contracts. Dr. Phillips is buying into the practice.”

  “What?”

  “Just like we discussed with Dr. Braxton,” Cannon said with a shrug and a puzzled look. “Nothing different. We keep the name. You and I are still the majority owners, along with Dad, and the overall decision makers. It’s the exact contract we all went over with our attorney last week.”

  How on earth did Armand have that much money to buy into the practice? Arrington Family Specialists was worth millions thanks to their father. Just to buy into it was no chump change. Doctors Unlimited doctors didn’t make that much, considering the apartment and meals were a part of the deal. Had he hit the lottery? She knew she’d agreed to let Cannon handle the hiring for
the new primary care physician, but that’s when she thought it was Dr. Braxton. While Armand was an excellent doctor, she didn’t know if she could work with him.

  “Just making sure.” She reached for the pen, struggling to control her hand, which was about to tremble. Was she actually about to work with Armand again? Except, this time she’d be his superior even though no one at the practice really treated her and Cannon any different now that they’d officially taken over. She quickly scribbled her name, said a speedy congrats to Armand, mentioned she had a patient waiting, and skedaddled out of the conference room.

  After she met with the patient, Raven hightailed it to her office, shut the door, and placed her head on her desk. What on earth was happening?

  *****

  Armand tapped on the door that read “Dr. Raven Arrington, MD”. He wasn’t sure what to make of her cold stare earlier, considering he was the one who should’ve been giving the cold shoulder. She’d blown him off by not answering or returning any of his phone calls. He didn’t want her to think he had stalker tendencies, so he’d stopped after the tenth one. When Cannon called with the offer to work with their family practice instead of going to Chile, he assumed Raven was aware. When they were in the bathtub in Buenos Aires, she’d mentioned that she and Cannon made all of the final decisions. He was rather surprised that she wasn’t even aware he was buying into the practice.

  It was after hours and he was about to leave, along with the receptionist who had gone over some other paperwork and schedule plans with him. Instead, he decided to stay back and set up his office since his belongings were in the car. The receptionist, Gracie, told him to let Dr. Raven know because she was still there doing paperwork in her office.

  He heard a soft, “Come in,” and pushed the door open to see Raven at her desk going through a few folders and checking her monitor. Apparently, she had some expectant mothers at the hospital.

  “You’re on call?” he asked, motioning his head toward the screen.

  “I’m always on call. What can I do for you, Dr. Phillips?”