Don’t Ever Wonder

by Darren Coleman

  “That’s all you think that we could ever mean to one another?” Tears began to well up in her eyes.

  “Shelly, I don’t want to hurt you. I didn’t mean to do that.”

  “Cory, it doesn’t matter. Nothing matters.” The tears began to fall. “This whole marriage has been a mistake.” She began to laugh and cry at the same time. “I guess it’s true what they say…you can’t go home again.” Then, as she walked away, she added, “Unless home is the little sister,” and then threw the magazine she was holding at me.

  I sat still on the bed for a moment and gathered my thoughts. I wanted to get out of the house as quickly as possible before round two started. I thought about everything that I would need right away and decided to make two separate piles of boxes. When the moving service arrived an hour and a half later they took everything except for two garment bags and my suitcase. Before I left I walked into the den where Shelly was seated. I handed her a check. “This is for her tuition and groceries.” She motioned for me to drop it on the table. “So, do you think that we should explain this to Amani together?”

  Shelly cut her eyes and gave me an ugly look. “Don’t worry about her. Just like you came into her life out of thin air, you can disappear the same way. Trust…she’ll be fine.”

  “Well, I won’t debate that with you now, but you should know that I will plan to continue to be a part of her life.”

  “Oh yeah, with her aunt as her stepmother? Over my dead fucking body.”

  “Listen, I will have the legal-separation papers delivered here next week. Just let me know what it is you will want. I don’t want to fight with you over money or visitation.”

  “Whatever.” Then she began to mumble in Spanish. I knew that I didn’t want to hear whatever she was saying so I grabbed my things and headed out the door. I went over to the office to go over a couple of reports before heading back to D.C. It was ten thirty by the time I finished and I thought about hitting the road. I wondered if Nina would be around when I got back to town.

  Weeks ago, the night after I left the club, we had ended up spending the night together. We didn’t have sex, though it wasn’t because I didn’t want to. She told me that she would never sleep with me while I was married to her sister. She also told me that she was seeing someone, nothing serious but serious enough for her to want to rush me out of her house when he called and said that he was on the way. We slept holding each other with my nose in her hair all night. When I left, I had no guarantees that we would ever get back together. I was encouraged, however, by a very passionate kiss and I knew that all promises aren’t made with words. So with that I made my mind up. I was leaving Shelly.

  After I packed up the files that I would need to look over during the weekend, I locked up my office and thanked my secretary for working so late. She didn’t seem happy that on Monday she would be dealing with one of the company heads. It wasn’t my concern at the moment. I was looking forward to getting back to working in my old office and with my hand-picked secretary.

  I was headed down Fifth Avenue to Justin’s. I was feeling crazy stress and needed a drink so I decided to hit Justin’s one last time before hitting the turnpike. I parked right out front and made a beeline for the bar. I started slowly drinking shots of Rémy V.S.O.P. and washing them down with ginger ale. “You all right tonight?” Terri asked as she removed the empty shot glasses.

  “Yeah, I’m fine.”

  She could tell I was lying. “Stop your lying.” She smiled. “What’s on your mind, bruh?” I tapped the bar to signal that I wanted another drink. “This is your last one, understand?” she said and I nodded.

  “Yo, T, I’m leaving New York, heading back down to D.C.”

  “You don’t seem too happy about it.” She laughed, “What, you gonna miss me?” Whenever I came through we always joked and flirted. She always told me that I might as well had considered myself a virgin until I’d had a Trinidadian woman.

  “I’m leaving my wife. Well, we’re gonna get divorced.” I shook my head in shame. “We didn’t even make it a year.”

  “Maybe you two will work it out.”

  “Nah, that definitely won’t be happening.”

  “Hey, man, that happens ya’ know. At least you didn’t have to put too much time in it to find out that you weren’t supposed to be together.”

  “You could look at it like that.” I took the shot and threw it to my mouth. “One more.”

  “What you need is a princess from the islands like me,” she said, smiling. Terri was a cutie, but I was the last thing she needed. “Here. Now this is definitely the last one.” Between her taking care of the other patrons we talked for a full hour. I let her know of my plans to drive back in the middle of the night. I was in no shape to drive and she knew it. “Cory, why don’t you wait for me to get off. You can drive me home and stay on my couch. When I get up for work in the morning you can hit the road then.”

  After agreeing I sat at the bar until she shut down and we left together. I was on her couch watching Conan O’Brien, trying to keep my head from spinning. Terri went into the kitchen and whipped up something in her blender. She placed a glass of something that looked like green juice with chunks of celery. “Drink this. It’ll keep you from getting a hangover.”

  “What is it?”

  “Just drink it down quick. Here,” she said and pinched my nose as she guided my head back. I put the glass to my lips and still tasted the strong flavor of mint or ginger. “I’ll run you a shower and make the couch up for you while you’re in it.”

  Everything in her home had a natural feel. The candles burning in the holders on the walls gave off a relaxing scent that filled the entire apartment. The windows were open and a sudden breeze began to flow in along with the light from the flashes of lightning. Terri had gone back into her bedroom and I was wondering what to do about my clothes. I decided to take them off and make a neat pile right there next to the couch.

  I had known her for about five months but only on a casual level. We’d hit it off but I always thought it was because I tipped well. I wanted to assume that she was merely concerned for my safety and that she might have felt some compassion for my situation. I was sure that from my drinking she had to figure I was depressed about my soon-to-be defunct marriage. In actuality, the fact that I had broken it off with Shelly hadn’t really sank in. I was however filled with doubt about my future with Nina.

  The water was just right and I moved up under it so that I could let it run over my head. I stood there for about two minutes with my eyes closed. I finally turned to look for some soap and didn’t see any. As if she was reading my thoughts, in she walked. “Cory, which do you prefer, Shea butter or Lever 2000?”

  “I’ll take the Lever.”

  She walked toward the shower. She pulled the curtain back slightly and I expected her to hand the soap to me. Instead she climbed in. I was stunned but still too drunk to show it. Instead I just looked at her. “Here you go.”

  I took the soap and began to lather up. As if we’d been bathing together for years, as soon as my back was turned she began to scrub it. Her scrub turned into a massage. Her massage turned into a caress and a few moments later we were in her bed.

  “Cory, I’ve wanted you so long. Ever since I first saw you.” I was a sucker for an accent and hers was thick and sexy. I was silent. My head was still swimming as she was kissing my neck and chest. Once I penetrated her, my breathing increased. She was tight and she asked me to slow down. “Take your time, baby, we got all night, even if it’s just for tonight.”

  As I began to move in and out of her she got wetter and wetter. “Damn, Terri, it feels good.” I was stroking her in a serious rhythm now and she was moaning loudly. Her legs were on my shoulders and slid off so that she could open up wide for me.

  “That’s right, enjoy me, baby. You’re soooo sweet.” As I humped, she humped back and I could feel my dick going deeper and deeper. “Ohhhh shit,” she yelled out.

 
Her eyes were closed and I let out a smile as I looked down at her face. She showed the expressions of a woman in ecstasy. I was looking at her nipples and breasts as they bounced with each pounding. Her bed was shaking now as I found myself on the brink of an orgasm. In order to calm down I asked her to climb on top.

  Terri lowered herself onto me slowly and let out a moan before she started grinding. I was beginning to think she was telling the truth about being a virgin until being with a Trinidadian woman. Her hips were moving as if she was doing a reggae dance. We had actually danced one night in the club while she was on break and I knew the sistah had rhythm but now she was blowing my mind. She put her weight on my shoulders and her breasts were on my chest. We began to kiss and as she lay on me I felt her legs lock onto mine and the grind continued. This time she was about to cum and started to cry out. “Ohhh shit,” she yelled before jumping up off of me.

  “What are you doing?”

  She turned around and put her ass to me, “I want you to hit it from the back.” Instantly I obliged. I gripped her cheeks roughly as I slid into her. Moving in and out trying to find a good pace, she interrupted me, “C’mon nigga, don’t play with me. Hit it hard.”

  I did as told and took it a step further as I grabbed her braids and yanked her head back. I was hitting it so hard that the bed was sliding. As I felt my orgasm coming I noticed the whip that she had on the wall and figured that she liked it rough. I took it up a notch as I let the saliva run from my mouth onto the crack of her ass. Just as I was about to let loose I slipped my thumb into her butt.

  “Ohmygawwd,” she yelled out. We banged our bodies together for what seemed like an eternity until we both released. I didn’t realize that I had sweat dripping all over my chest until I collapsed onto her back. We both panted until we drifted off to sleep.

  I woke up with the condom still on my dick. She was ready for another round and I figured what the hell. After another shower I ate her out and used the vibrator that I found sitting casually on her nightstand. I gave her a couple of intense orgasms and she returned the favor with some of the best head I had ever had.

  This time I didn’t wake up until nine in the morning. My cell phone was ringing. It was Brendan. When I answered he was ranting hysterically, “Cory, man, I am on my way to kill Trina’s ass.”

  “What?”

  “She’s gone too far this time,” he huffed.

  I tried to calm him down so that I could make sense of what he was saying, but he was too angry after all that she had done to him. If she’d actually done half of what he was accusing her of, he definitely had a right to be furious. “Listen, B, I’m on the way back to D.C. As soon as I get there we’ll hook up so you can explain what’s going on. Right now, though, you need to calm down.”

  “Yeah, all right,” Brendan said. “I’ll get at you later.” Then he hung up.

  Terri cooked me breakfast and gave me a massage before I hit the road. If I had to leave the city and my wife under the circumstances I was facing, then she certainly made it bearable. As I got dressed, staring out of her bedroom mirror, two profound thoughts came to mind. The first was that I didn’t feel any guilt about what had gone down with Terri. As a matter of fact I felt good about it. Sometimes, even when a man knows that he is at his worst, the approval he gets from another woman is enough to lift his spirits. And with that, there is no room for guilt, only selfishness.

  The second thought was that I couldn’t honestly say that I would miss being married to Shelly. Too much fussing and nagging, and not enough of a connection left after all we’d been through. It had dawned on me that, while we had been apart all those years, we had grown in different directions and it was unmistakable.

  While tying my shoes I looked over at Terri’s ass in her thong as she reached into her closet for a pair of shoes and thought that thanks to her I damn sure was gonna miss Justin’s.

  14

  The Crossroads

  Simply put, there are times when you gotta just let stuff go. In this case, though, Brendan tried hard but couldn’t. After everything that Trina had done to his belongings in his condo and to his car, he’d decided to let the police handle it. Now that Tuesday had replaced everything that Trina had destroyed with newer and better, he had no real reason to complain. But the final straw had come Friday evening. As he prepared to leave work, he’d been invited upstairs into the floor manager’s office.

  She’d handed him a report from Nordstrom headquarters that contained information that Brendan had given away thousands of dollars’ worth of shoes in the last few years, which he had. To validate the claims, the person, who Brendan had no doubts as to her identity, had given the shoe models and size numbers. They had run a check and had found enough discrepancies to warrant his dismissal. Just like that he was fired.

  Apparently, Tuesday had gone into The True You to get a manicure and pedicure and overheard Trina talking to Daphne about all the drama that she was causing for Brendan, including her Nordstrom exploit. Kim’s death had caused Daphne and Trina to draw even closer, and it was the norm for her to spill her business to Daphne any time she stopped through. Tuesday listened to every word and quickly dialed Brendan.

  “Brendan, this bitch is up in here talking mad shit about you,” she whispered.

  “You sure it’s Trina?” he’d asked.

  “I’m positive. I heard two different women call her by name. Plus she looks just like you described her.”

  By the time Tuesday had hung up with Brendan he’d gotten dressed and was headed to Georgia Avenue to confront Trina. He wasn’t sure exactly what he was going to do once he caught her.

  Hitting a woman wasn’t his nature, especially a pregnant one, but he did want to do more than argue with her. He figured that since he was in a rental car, he would be able to follow her to where she was staying. Once he found out he would come and at the least destroy her car as payback. If it hadn’t been broad daylight, he would have done it right there in front of the salon.

  Brendan began driving as fast as possible when Tuesday told him that Trina was almost finished. He sped up on South Dakota Avenue and took Michigan Avenue past the Washington Hospital Center. Once he reached Georgia Avenue he was pushing the Ford Focus to the limit, trying to catch the green lights. When he reached the salon he slowed down because a Canada Dry truck was unloading in front of him. He pulled past it slowly and spotted Trina’s car. He was looking for a parking space where he could remain inconspicuous.

  While trying to parallel park, he almost didn’t notice that Trina was already in her car and pulling out into traffic. She had walked out of the salon with newspaper covering her head to protect her do from the rain. His adrenaline began to pump and anger began to overwhelm him with the sight of her. He drove right up behind her and she didn’t recognize him in the rental. He followed her closely for a few blocks before dropping back.

  She headed down Florida Avenue and then down New York, toward downtown. He tried to stay a couple cars back but feared that he might lose her. Trina tried to get over into the left lane at the last moment to hit I-395 South, but Brendan gave himself away by swerving wildly just as she had done. He almost sideswiped a Jeep and when they’d smashed the horn at him Trina had looked through her rearview and noticed Brendan behind the wheel of the Focus on her tail.

  Trina saw the look of rage on his face and in a state of panic she slammed on the gas and bucked an illegal U-turn. Like a man possessed, Brendan followed. As she tried to merge, he hit her bumper. Trina pushed the pedal to the metal once again and this time she began to pull away. His Focus was no match for her Avalon even though he gave a new meaning to the phrase “driving like a bat out of hell.” Trina was catching the lights and it appeared that she was going to lose him. Brendan was stuck behind an Asian woman driving too slowly. It was beginning to rain. “Drive, you Chinese mutha…” Impatient and frustrated, Brendan pulled into the left lane to catch the light at the intersection of New York and Florida. He knew that if Tr
ina hit 50 or the BW Parkway she was as good as gone.

  As soon as he pulled out he saw the Escalade coming straight toward him. There was a loud screech and he braced for contact. The Cadillac began to skid, swerve, and slide toward his door. Luckily the SUV stopped a half foot from knocking Brendan into the next lifetime. Everything slowed down and Brendan watched the look of horror on the face of the SUV driver turn to rage. By the time the driver could lean out the window to curse him out, Brendan had regained his composure and his focus. Trina had gone through the light and was on her way up the hill.

  Brendan slammed his pedal and called upon all 150 horses in the tiny engine and took off after her. Almost being hit by the Escalade had thrown him off balance. Any other time he would have given an apologetic wave to the driver but today he was on a mission. Paying no attention to anything other than Trina’s deranged ass getting away, he sped through the red light and saw a light flash. “Gotdammit. Oh I am gonna kill this bitch,” he mumbled.

  That was the last thing he clearly remembered before being crushed by the FedEx truck passing through the intersection. Brendan saw the front of the Focus disappear before his eyes, but by the time the car flipped he was already unconscious.

  Paramedics had to use the jaws of life to free his body from the car.

  It hurts. Everything hurts. Can you hear me? Brendan wanted to speak but couldn’t. He was unconscious and his vital signs fading.

  Is this how it ends? God, I got a baby on the way.

  The EMS team fought to keep him alive the entire way as he was airlifted to Prince George’s County Hospital.