Don’t Ever Wonder

by Darren Coleman

  It was a tough pill to swallow, realizing that women like Trina existed. I was quiet and wondered if she was finished spilling her guts. “You have until we get back from the fight to tell him,” I said sternly.

  “Cory—” she said.

  I hung up.

  “Yo, Cory, this joint is off the hook,” Dee said. “I can’t believe we are doing it like this. The promoters are treating us as if we’re the one’s fighting. Nate is at the hotel chilling. He said he needed complete seclusion. Anita wasn’t even allowed to his room.”

  We were sitting off in a so-called private lounge with everyone from Team Nate. Tuesday was up underneath Brendan, looking very much in love. It was hard to get a handle on Brendan’s feelings for her, or anyone other than Trina for that matter. He’d always worn his feelings on his sleeve when it came to her. He loved her in all her slutty glory.

  Dee, meanwhile, was having the time of his life. He was Nate’s authorized, yet unauthorized, spokesperson. He had done interviews on Nate’s behalf that aired on sports shows all over the country. More than anyone, he was enjoying the limelight and the women crowding him trying to get a line on Nate.

  People were popping bottles everywhere, dancing wherever they could find room. The women had on the slinkiest, albeit most expensive dresses you could imagine. It was almost like sensory overload. Because of where we were seated, people were stealing glances, trying to see if Nate was going to appear.

  I saw plenty of nice-looking women but hadn’t made a move on any. I had been in a real holding pattern since starting therapy. I was embracing my solitude, getting my life quieted down. It was strange that as soon as I began doing that, all the problems that I had making decisions about my personal life were no longer an issue. The women who were chasing me became less than appealing and the quiet that entered my life in their absence was welcomed. I was just as turned off by their desperation as I was by the fact that I finally began to realize what I wanted in a woman. There was a long list of qualities that I was looking to find in one woman. I was still working on myself but I knew that ultimately I wanted a wife. It wasn’t hard for me to realize that none of them were it.

  It had happened gradually, a missed or ignored call here, an unreturned e-mail there, and suddenly I wasn’t dating anyone or sleeping with anyone for the first time in years. I had a clean slate.

  At three in the morning I left the party and headed for the hotel. Waiting on the corner of Flamingo Avenue for a cab, I noticed a sister heading in my direction. She was holding a pair of shoes in her hand and was walking barefoot. As she moved closer I could make out the fact that she had a dynamite shape and, even moving without shoes, she was as graceful as a runway model.

  A cab pulled up and I got a glimpse of her face. She reminded me of Melinda Williams, the girl who played Bird on the Showtime series Soul Food. But once she was within clear sight I recognized her, though for a second her name escaped my memory.

  Somehow, right on time, it came to me. “Faith,” I said.

  She looked at me, puzzled. I realized then that I obviously hadn’t made the same impression on her in Chicago as she had on me. “How do you know my name?”

  “I met you and your friends one night. You’re from Chicago right? I was at a bar and bought you all a drink.”

  “Oh, yeah, I remember you. You were doing the robot off of the Michael Jackson music,” she laughed out.

  “You want to share a cab? My treat.”

  “Sure, but that really wouldn’t be sharing now, would it?” she said and then climbed in.

  Once we were both in we said the same thing to the cabbie, “MGM Grand.”

  We both smiled when that came out.

  “So you’re a big fight fan,” she asked.

  I began explaining my ties to Nate. She explained that she was a fan of the Horse but that she would be praying for my boy. She said it in a joking manner but I was hoping she was serious.

  When we reached the front door of the MGM I gave the driver a twenty and hopped out. I had done well at the crap table earlier, plus I was in a great mood. “Thanks for the ride,” Faith said.

  “Yeah, don’t mention it,” I said. “Hey, are you hungry?”

  She looked like she was trying to figure it out. Then she looked at her watch, “It’s a little late to eat, don’t you think.”

  “Let’s just call it early for breakfast,” I said. I thought about it for a second. I remembered how she had slipped away in Chicago and how it had been for the best. Now that I was well on my way to self-discovery, here she and I were, crossing paths more than half a country away from where either of us lived. “Listen, tomorrow is going to be a really busy day for me. To be totally honest with you, if I had the chance to spend some time with you, nine out of ten times I would blow off whatever for the chance. But this case is different. I’ll be ringside with my boy. My flight leaves Sunday at four, so it’s almost now or never. Please don’t make it never.”

  She stared at me, peering deep into my eyes. “Brother, you are so intense.”

  “Only when I’m sure about something. And believe me, it’s been a long time since I’ve been sure about anything.”

  “Well, what makes you so sure about this. And what exactly are you sure about?” She adjusted the strap on her dress. It had slid down her shoulder.

  “I’m sure that I want to get to know you better. I was sure when I saw you that night in Chicago that you weren’t the average girl. You had class and sex appeal. You were so confident, it blew my mind.”

  She nodded her head and held her bottom lip with her teeth before she responded. “Wow” was all she said.

  I reached for her hand and she gave it to me. I led her through the lobby.

  I woke at ten a.m. to a knock at the door. “Housekeeping.”

  “Got-dammit,” I grumbled.

  “It’s too early,” Faith said. Then she yelled loud enough for them to hear, “Come back later, please.”

  We were both still in our clothes from the night before. We had fallen asleep, talking after eating steak and eggs from room service when we’d come in.

  Her dress was wrinkled and her hair a little mussed but still she was still gorgeous. I scooted up against her and wrapped my arm around her. We drifted back off to sleep for another hour before my cell rang. Nate needed me, or more so wanted me. He told me that he wanted to talk to me about a few things, alone.

  I didn’t want Faith to leave, so I asked her if she would come back at four to have dinner with me before the fight. I was feeling her tremendously. We had talked until almost six, and it seemed like it was only twenty minutes instead of two hours. By the time she left my room we had all but planned a trip for her to come to D.C.

  My divorce had become final and I was free to pursue Faith with a clear conscience. I was honest with her about my situation, although I saw no need to go into all the details. I had learned to let some sleeping dogs lie. Although she had never been married, she had been engaged for two years. She had broken off the engagement when she realized that she was settling. Her fiancé had been a corporate lawyer and had done some modeling. He was long on money and looks, she’d said, but short on all the intangibles that she was looking for in a husband.

  “Believe it or not, you asked me more of the right questions in a few hours than he did in three years,” Faith said as she embraced me before she left my room. “I really enjoyed you, Cory.”

  “So, I’ll see you later?”

  “For sure.”

  I entered Nate’s suite; it was as dark as a tomb. He had candles burning and the curtains closed. Dee answered the door and he was preparing to walk out past me.

  “Where you headed?” I asked.

  “I’m headed down to do a preliminary press spot for payper-view, then coming back to pick up his food. He has a personal chef across the street preparing some type of organic shit…don’t ask.”

  Nate called out, “Cory, come on back.”

  He was in the
rear room of the suite soaking his feet. “What’s up?” I asked.

  “Have you seen Brendan?”

  “Not since last night. Why?”

  “Dee said he talked to Tuesday this morning. She said Brendan got a call from Trina last night and went off. He started throwing shit around the room. Then he told Tuesday he needed some time alone. She slept in the room with Anita and this morning he hasn’t answered his door or his cell.”

  I was worried, so I tried calling him. No answer. “I’m going down to his room,” I said.

  “No,” Nate said emphatically. “Listen, I don’t know what he’s tripping off of because of that crazy bitch, but I can’t let that negative energy invade my circle, you feel me?”

  I nodded and he went on, “I am going to need you in my corner tonight. Brendan’s head isn’t right but I can’t let that be my problem. So it’s me and you. Pops will tell you what to do. Mostly just be there for me…just like always.” He sounded nervous.

  “You got it,” I said. We sat and talked about nothing in particular. I told him about Faith and how strange it was to run into her.

  “Sounds like love at first sight.” He laughed. “Or is it lust?”

  “Nah, it’s deeper than that with her. I think she’s beautiful and sexy, but I want so much more from her right now other than sex. It’s like I can’t wait to soak up knowledge about her like a sponge.” He pursed his lips up like he was going for the line I was giving him. Then I added, “Don’t get me wrong…eventually a brother will want to tap that ass.”

  Then I continued on about how much fun it appeared that Dee was having. After a while Nate seemed to relax a lot more, then we talked about him and Anita. He told me that he was going to settle down and do right by her. He was going to win this fight, marry her, and relocate. In that order too. He said he liked Charlotte, Atlanta, and Miami. It was funny but Faith told me that one day she wanted to relocate from Chicago to a warmer climate. I was shocked when he told me that he wanted to raise a family with Anita, hopefully no girls. He said he would be too overprotective and rightfully so. That’s how men feel when they think that their daughters could one day meet a man like them.

  I didn’t tell him what I had learned about Trina. I didn’t want his mind to be on anything other than his fight. His dreams and, most important, his life depended on it, so I kept it light.

  30

  Don’t Ever Wonder

  “I had to know if I could do it,” Nate repeated over and over. “Cory, how am I doing?”

  It was a lot different being up close and personal to the action. I was in his corner and right there at the side of the ring. The lights and the crowd noise were so distracting that I had trouble focusing on the action at hand. From what I could tell, Nate was doing fine. He had lasted three rounds with the Horse.

  Pops yelled out, “You’re doing fine.” He reminded me of Mickey in Rocky. The whole scene had my head spinning. Hand me this, hand me that, give me the sponge, more water. It was demanding work in the corner.

  At the start of the fourth round, Pops said to me, “Son, for some reason he’s looking to you for encouragement. You gotta pump him up. Pay attention, and if he ask you something, tell him,” then he smacked me on the side of my head as if I was stepping into the ring.

  As Nate move away from the corner, I yelled, “Whoop his ass.”

  Pops smiled at me and turned his attention back to the fight. The fighters gave the crowd reason to cheer as they had a violent exchange of punches in the middle of the ring. It was the first clean punch of the night for the Horse. Unfortunately for Nate it gave him confidence. After the exchange the Horse began asserting himself. It became obvious that it was his time on top as he began hitting Nate with a barrage of punches. Although he was never in danger of going down, the punishment was evident on Nate’s face. His left eye showed some swelling when he came back to the corner after the round.

  I didn’t hesitate when he asked how he was doing this time. “Nate, he’s bigger and stronger, but you’re quicker than he is. Don’t stand there and trade punches with him.” In my mind I was thinking that it could prove fatal if he did, but I said, “Use your speed. Come on. This is what you wanted, right? I know you don’t need the money. So, if you’re fighting for pride or ego, then show it, man.”

  With that he turned and looked at me and nodded his head. Pops shouted a few curse words about his performance but I knew that he was hanging on my words.

  The next two rounds Nate was barely hit while throwing twice as many punches as his opponent. The seventh round both fighters seemed to tire and looked as if they were resting up for the finale. The crowd didn’t like it and everyone from the cheap seats down to the celebrities began to boo. I looked over at Faith, whom I had given my seat to, to make sure that she wasn’t joining in. When I looked over at her, she was already staring in my direction. Our eyes met and she smiled.

  Nate surprised everyone by not just surviving the next few rounds. It was possible that he was ahead on a couple of the judge’s scorecards. In the corner we were all yelling at him, trying to keep him pumped up. “You’re doing it,” I yelled.

  “Pops, I told you I could do this, didn’t I?”

  “Yeah, you did.”

  “Damn right I did.”

  “Okay, stay loose and be careful. You only have two rounds left to go. It’s yours. Listen to the crowd.” They were chanting for Nate. The whole place had turned, not so much against the Horse, because he was a great champion. It was more of a swelling up for the underdog.

  Nate stood, anxious for the bell. Across from him the Horse was a confused and frustrated fighter. He couldn’t understand how he had underestimated Nate so badly. He had cursed his cornermen so much by this point that they were silent in between rounds. The bell rang and the two met in the middle of the ring.

  As they danced around, Nate’s mind began to drift. He began to think about the ESPN special. He began to think about the history he was on the verge of making. No boxer had ever come out of retirement to defeat such a formidable opponent. This was bigger than Leonard versus Hagler.

  Nate was no longer focused on the punches. He was focused on the end result. The crowd was chanting his name as they had for the past two rounds, but suddenly he could hear them. He began to wonder how it would feel to wake up as the champ again.

  The first punch came and Nate ducked it, the second he backed out of the way. Nate had lost track of where he was in the ring. His back was against the ropes and there was no escape. The third was not to be denied. Nate felt the impact and his knees buckled. A fourth and fifth punch to the head sent him reeling to the canvas two feet in front of me.

  I could see his eyes rolling up in his head and, for a minute, I wasn’t sure if he was okay. When I saw him trying to shake the cobwebs out of his head at the count of five I was encouraged. At seven he had his hands on the ropes. At nine he was standing straight up. The referee asked him if he could continue. “Hell, yeah,” he replied.

  I was quiet. I was hoping he would quit. I wondered if Brendan was watching somewhere. I looked over at Dee. His face showed concern. As I looked in his eyes, I tried to see if he could make it. For the first time he was slow to rise. “Be ready to stop it, Pops,” I yelled.

  He ignored me. I repeated myself, “Son, shut your mouth. You don’t know boxing. He’s okay.”

  “You’re worried about a paycheck. I’m worried about his life. If he looks shaky, I will stop it.” Pops gave me a mean look but I didn’t give a damn.

  The crowd was on its feet. Nate pulled himself together enough to make it through the next minute. After the knockdown it was obvious that the Horse was trying to fight safe. He wasn’t throwing many punches and allowed Nate to regain his energy. As the clocked ticked down to the final minute the Horse did something extremely stupid. He responded to the chants of the crowd. “Knock him out” they screamed, and he tried.

  He threw four hard punches that all landed to Nate’s body and
head, but they had obviously lost steam. The Horse had backed Nate into the corner but the Horse seemed too winded to do anything. The champ threw a lazy punch that Nate easily moved out of the way of.

  The next thing the crowd saw sent them into a frenzy. A right hand to the champion’s temple stunned him and caused him to stumble backward. From that point Nate threw no less than fifteen punches. The Horse reached out in an effort to grab Nate but only took more blows to the face. Cameras were flashing, hundreds by the second as Nate threw punches like a man possessed. The last punch from Nate landed flush on the Horse’s chin and sent him stumbling to the canvas.

  The crowd went off as Nate threw his hands up in victory. We watched from the corner on pins and needles as the referee counted to ten. The Horse couldn’t make it to his feet and just like that it was over.

  Nate was the champ once again.

  Anita came down to the ring. When I saw the way Nate’s eyes lit up when he saw her I knew that they would be all right. I was next to him keeping the crowd back. I heard him say to her “I love you” over and over.

  She was in tears. “I love you too. I told you you’d do it.”

  “You did. You told me.” He was crying.

  “I love you,” was all I heard. Then I saw the Horse come over to congratulate Nate.

  “Great fight, man,” the Horse said.