Boy in the Mirror

by Robert J. Duperre

  “Need help with that?”

  Jacqueline glanced over her shoulder and did a double-take. A handsome, older black kid was smiling down at her. He’s tall. She recognized him as one of Todd’s friends, and a lump formed in her throat.

  The senior boy’s smile twitched. “They can be tricky sometimes,” he said. “Sometimes finesse works.”

  Jacqueline nodded dumbly.

  “Step aside and I’ll show you,” he said.

  Jacqueline shuffled out of the way. The young man stepped forward, made a fist with his right hand while his left grabbed the latch. He snapped his wrist, striking the locker and yanking up on the latch at the same time. The latch lifted, the door swung open.

  “Tada,” he said, grinning. Jacqueline remained off to the side, hands in front of her mouth. She knew she should’ve been giddy at the attention; instead, she was only embarrassed.

  “Um…” the senior boy said. His smile vanished. “Did you see what I did?” he asked softly.

  Jacqueline nodded.

  “It takes practice, but if you know just where to hit these old things, and how hard, they usually open like that.” He snapped his fingers, and Jacqueline flinched. He grimaced, and his speaking voice became even softer. “Anyhow, that’s the general idea.”

  “Thanks,” Jacqueline finally said.

  His grin returned. “No problem. I’m Jordan, by the way. You?”

  “I, um, well…‌Jacqueline.”

  “Well, it’s nice to meet you, I um well Jacqueline. Truly.”

  He lingered there for a long moment until some girl shouted, “Jordan, come on!”

  “That’s my cue,” Jordan said. “See you around.”

  “Uh, sure.”

  The handsome young man backed away, shaking his head and grimacing. He swiveled around at the last minute, skillfully avoiding running into a small group of students before walking side-by-side with a tall, athletic-looking black girl.

  “What was that about?” asked Annette’s voice.

  Jacqueline turned, and there was her tiny white-haired friend. Annette Shepherd always seemed to appear when you least expected her, as if she’d been trained as an assassin in a past life or something.

  “Nothing,” said Jacqueline. “He helped me get my locker open is all.”

  Annette’s crystal blue eyes widened, one corner of her lip rising ever so slightly. “That’s not all,” she said. “Not by a long shot.”

  “Seriously, Annie. He just came over to help.”

  “Did you ask?”

  “No.”

  “Then it’s more than that. Methinks Jordan Thompson’s sweet on you.”

  “Yeah, right,” said Jacqueline, though she felt herself blush. “He’s obviously got a girlfriend.”

  “Does not. Jordan Thompson has never had a girlfriend. That one’s all about sports and homework.”

  “Then who’s the girl he’s always with?”

  “Oh, her? Andrea something-or-other. Their parents are good friends. Known each other since they were in diapers.”

  “Really?”

  “Really.”

  “Wait, how do you know all this?”

  Annette shrugged. “Jordan’s nice, and popular. When you’re popular, people know your business.” She chuckled. “Which is why I in no way want to be popular. I like my privacy.”

  Jacqueline found that comment silly, given the girl’s penchant for prattling on about every detail of her life on the phone. “I bet,” she said.

  The homeroom buzzer went off. As had become their short-lived tradition, Jacqueline and Annette remained in front of Jacqueline’s locker, waiting for the rush to die down. When it finally did, Jacqueline went to say goodbye to her friend, only to be shushed. Annette’s already large eyes widened even more as she covertly pointed down the hall. Jacqueline turned to look.

  Principal Butler was walking toward them, his jowls bouncing with every step he took. In front of him marched a girl with pale flesh, sad red-rimmed eyes, and sandy blond corn rows. The weathered green trench coat she wore was filthy. Every time the principal touched her shoulder, she shuddered. She might’ve been the saddest-looking person Jacqueline had ever seen.

  “She finally screwed up,” Annette said after the pair rounded the hall. Her expression was dour, eyebrows slanting downward, lips drooping. “Butler’s probably gonna suspend her, and since she’s on probation, that’ll mean juvy.”

  “Who? What?”

  Annette jutted her chin at the duo. “That’s Trish Yardley,” she said.

  “Never seen her before.”

  “And you wouldn’t. Trish and a bunch of other kids from across town don’t, y’know, get to school much. Drugs, I’ve heard. A big problem in the old Mill District.”

  “Where’s that?”

  “Right around where Olivia lives.” Annette’s air brightened, and strangely enough it seemed thoughts of the poor girl walking the green mile to the end of her schooling had completely vanished from her mind. “Speaking of, did Ronni text you? You gonna hang after school?”

  Jacqueline shrugged. “Don’t know. Aren’t they supposed to start giving out homework today?”

  “Homework? P’shaw! We’re sophomores, Jackie. They don’t give us any tough stuff ’til next year. Whatever you get’ll be cake.”

  “Oh.” She didn’t want to tell her friend that she wasn’t confident that she’d find it so simple, given the state of her past schooling, so she nodded and said, “Okay then, sure.”

  The buzzer rang out for everyone to be in homeroom. Annette hastily backed toward where she was supposed to be, waving at Jacqueline as she did so.

  “Just make sure you get in touch with your aunt!” she shouted. “You can’t take Olivia’s bus if she doesn’t call to give you permission!”

  That explains making plans so early.

  With that, the tiny girl was gone. Jacqueline spun around and dashed into her own homeroom, feeling the accusatory you’re late gaze the teacher gave her. She slid into her seat, her cheeks flushed.

  She was going to hang out with friends. Away from home. It was thrilling and terrifying at the same time.

  “Are you having fun?” Mal asked.

  Jacqueline nodded, smiled. “I am.”

  The boy in the mirror’s eyes sparkled. “I like it when you’re happy, Jackie.”

  “So do I.” She whispered. “Only one thing’d make me happier.”

  “In time,” Mal said. He tilted his head forward knowingly. “But I’m here for you either way.”

  “I know.”

  Someone yelped, and Jacqueline looked up. Olivia’s mom’s apartment was small, and so was the bathroom. She hoped her whispers hadn’t carried.

  “Okay, gotta get back to my friends now,” she said.

  “I’m right here,” Mal replied.

  Jacqueline kissed the mirror, snapped the compact shut, and tucked it back into her pocket. She then flushed and left the bathroom.

  A smile stretched across Jacqueline’s face when she returned to the living room. Annette and Neil were playing a video game while Olivia and Ronni sat on the couch, cheering. Jacqueline stared at them for some time, feeling for a moment like a ghost watching her loved ones from the shadows. She shivered and wandered to the window.

  It was early evening, the sun low on the horizon but still bright. All day had been like this. School had gone by quickly, and Aunt Mitzy agreed to let her take the bus to her friend’s house and pick her up at seven. Everything’s perfect, she thought. It didn’t matter that this section of Mercy Hills was rougher than Mitzy’s neighborhood. She was here, and the four wonderful people who laughed behind her were her friends.

  She watched a group of boys play basketball in the street. To the left, a mother pushed her baby along the road in a stroller. To the right, six men sat on the stoop of the house next door, drinking beers and laughing. She then glanced across the street, at the church directly across from Olivia’s apartment complex, and that’s whe
n she knew, just knew, that her life had turned around.

  After the Gelicks, Jacqueline had been convinced she’d never look at a church the same way again. Not after being forced to pray, not after being paraded in front of an entire congregation like some poor charity case, and certainly not after Papa Gelick attempted to do very bad things to her. Yet here she was, staring at the tall steeple of the church across the way, the ornate stained glass that beautifully reflected the setting sun, the colorful flower gardens that lined the path leading to the front door, and all she could do was admire how pretty it all was.

  A hand fell on her shoulder, and Jacqueline pivoted to see Olivia’s wistful face staring outside along with her. “What you looking at?” she asked.

  “Nothing,” Jacqueline replied.

  “Don’t seem like nothing.”

  “It’s just so pretty out there,” she said with a sigh.

  “It is,” Olivia said, nodding.

  Jacqueline looked back at the steeple across the street. “Olivia?” she said.

  “Yeah?”

  “You ever gone to that church?”

  Olivia peered back through the window. “St. Joseph’s? Yeah. Sometimes.”

  “So you’re Christian?”

  “Oh, hells to the no,” she said, a twinkle in her eye. “My madre ain’t religious, and I’ve been studying Wicca.”

  Jacqueline’s brow furrowed. “Then why go to church?”

  “Just because. There’s something comforting about that place. The priest there’s really nice. Being inside is, well, welcoming. Spiritual even. I know that sounds obvious—I mean hell, we’re talking about church—but still. I’ve gone to five of the eight churches in Mercy Hills, and St. Joe’s is the only one that didn’t make me feel dirty. The Presbyterian church, Vulgate, is the worst like that. The richy-rich go there. Their pastor’s slimy. And kinda dumb.”

  “Oh.”

  “What about you?” Olivia asked. “You Christian?”

  “Um…‌,” she began, but then froze.

  “Not that hard of a question, chica.”

  “Yeah, c’mon and tell us!” Neil shouted. The rest of the group had paused their game. They all sat facing her, elbows on knees, expectant looks on their faces.

  “What, you Buddhist or something?” asked Ronni.

  Olivia nudged her. “And why you live with your aunt, anyway? What happened to your parents?”

  Jacqueline swallowed hard and shivered.

  “You know about us,” Neil added. “We don’t know about you. It’s only fair.”

  The fear of emotional nakedness crawled up Jacqueline’s throat. She began to shut down, tears welling in her eyes. She stuffed her hands in her pockets and swayed on her feet. She couldn’t tell her friends the truth. They’d reject her.

  “I’m sorry,” she said, so softly she could barely hear herself. “I should go.”

  “Nope. Not gonna happen.”

  Annette, all four-foot-ten of her, bounced up from her sitting position, slung her ponytail off her shoulder, and stepped right up to Jacqueline. “You don’t need to say anything you don’t wanna,” she said. Jacqueline stared at Annette’s eyes, which were so light blue that at times they seemed icy cold. At the moment, they radiated warmth. “We all got stories,” she continued, seeming to focus on Neil. “We all had secrets. Some still do. We’re friends because we connect, because we enjoy each other. Forcing someone to say something they don’t wanna isn’t connecting. That’s pushing someone away. Heck, it’s pretty much torture.”

  Neil blushed and averted his eyes. Ronni nodded solemnly. Olivia chewed on her lip and nervously wrung her hands together. Annette turned back to Jacqueline.

  “You’re one of us now,” she said. “You’re Otaku. That’s it.”

  Jacqueline wiped her tears away with the back of her hand. “Thanks.”

  “Of course,” Annette said, beaming.

  Neil stood up. “C’mon, let’s show her the love. Sorry, Jackie.”

  The four teens slowly encircled Jacqueline like the world’s most loving and cuddly sharks. Jacqueline herself recoiled slightly when Olivia leaned into her, but when Annette, Neil, and the Ronni followed suit, she submitted to their unifying embrace. She felt her eyes go all puffy again, only it wasn’t fear or uncertainty this time, but relief. After a few moments of mutual, calming squeezes, the group separated.

  “Listen,” said Annette, “now that that’s out of the way, why don’t we get back to playing? Our parents’ll be here in a half-hour, and I got some serious ass to kick.” She smacked Jacqueline on the backside.

  Jacqueline yelped. “You’re on,” she said.

  She walked hand-in-hand with Annette, sat cross-legged in front of the television, and picked up the controller.

  “One last thing,” Annette said. “Make sure you let your aunt know that we’re going to the movies this Saturday. The five of us. Okay?”

  “Um, sure.”

  Annette threw an arm around her shoulder, squeezed her tight. “You have nothing to worry about, Jacqueline Talbot,” she said. “We’ve got time to crack you yet. But how about we try to have fun first?”

  Behind them, the others hooted their approval.

  “Sounds good to me.” Jacqueline said. And it did.

  CHAPTER 16

  Mercy Hills had a large shopping district called Evergreen Gardens in the center of town, nestled between the two major roads, Main Street and Grove Street. On Saturdays, as Jacqueline soon found out, both streets were so packed with traffic that walking on the shoulder was quicker than driving.

  The Otaku Clan had met at Olivia’s apartment, which was only a half-hour walk from Mall Central. Aunt Mitzy had given her twenty bucks and agreed to pick them all up at the McDonald’s at eleven, but not before giving Jacqueline stern instructions for the evening—stay in a group, no drinking, no drugs, no sneaking into other movies after the flick they came to watch was over.

  The five friends threaded their way through the mall parking lot, making a game out of slipping between cars that were parked too close to each other. Annette nimbly sidestepped through a tiny gap between an Acura and a Jeep. “Beat that, suckers!” she shouted. Jacqueline went to follow, but noticed Ronni’s face darkening beneath the setting sun, eyes lowered to the ground. Jacqueline joined her side.

  “Walk with me?” she asked.

  Ronni’s lips curled upward. “Yes, please.”

  Jacqueline held her hand, and together they traversed the crosswalk until they reached the concrete footpath in front of the mall. Neil circled around them, narrowly avoiding a collision with a group of older kids, until he reached the mall’s tall glass doors. He proceeded to hold them open for all to pass through.

  “Ladies,” he said with a bow.

  Evergreen Gardens was the same as any shopping center Jacqueline had ever been to. The place was bright, its ceiling high and lined with windows. But there was a certain emptiness about it. The mall was packed with people, but a third of the storefronts were empty, swept clean and barricaded. Most of the shoppers were kids around Jacqueline’s age, and almost none of them carried shopping bags. There were a lot of familiar faces, though tons more she didn’t recognize, which meant Evergreen Gardens was likely the main hangout spot for not only the kids of Mercy Hills, but neighboring towns as well. She wondered if they might run into Todd Sowinger, and felt a twinge of shame. She pulled Ronni in closer. Focus on your friends.

  The theater at the center of the mall was crammed with rowdy kids, loud as a gigantic flock of geese. Jacqueline waited nervously, fidgeting. It was one thing to be in school and surrounded by so many strangers. That was a controlled environment for the most part. Here in the mall, with their near-nonexistent security, all that stood between her and a possible violent encounter was the assumed goodness of her fellow humans.

  They paid for their tickets and entered the packed theater. Jacqueline sat at the end of the row next to Annette. She covertly slid her compact out of h
er pocket, opened it, and positioned it on her chair’s armrest. She peered over to see if Mal was there. He was, his eyes wide as he stared up at the screen. Jacqueline felt his awe. She hadn’t been to the movies since she was nine.

  The movie was called Black Space, a horror flick based on a shoot-’em-up video game Neil and Olivia loved. The creatures in the movie were scary in close-up, skeletal with slime-dripping teeth, but in the action scenes they were obviously fake. The acting was spotty. Neil said it was obviously a movie made just to squeeze cash out of kids who loved the game.

  Jacqueline didn’t care. It was cheesy and not really scary, and actually kind of funny. Plus, her friends were with her, and so was Mal. That’s all she needed.

  The theater began to empty out just moments before the final credits rolled, a mob of grumpy teens mumbling as they made their way to the exits. Jacqueline quietly stowed Mal away and remained sitting there, watching the scrolling names in front of her, mesmerized by the song that played in the background. “With an angel swimming ’round my head,” screamed a distorted female voice. It was a weird, industrial tune, and for some reason she recognized it, though she couldn’t remember from where.

  “Well, that sucked,” Neil said.

  “No kidding,” muttered Olivia.

  Jacqueline shrugged. “I kinda liked it.”

  There were moans all around. “Tasteless,” said Annette.

  The friends followed the crowd into the mall’s main lobby. It was going on ten o’clock, and the place was nearly deserted. A lot of the niche stores and clothing boutiques had already dropped their gates; only the big department stores, one at each end of the mall’s three branches, had people in them.