“Glad you liked it, Eleanor,” Devon replies. “It’s this invaluable moment I’ve been waiting for for a very long time. My one passion approves of my other passion,” he adds in a dark husky tone, looking at me in a way that sends tremors of both arousal and fear down every molecule of my mortal existence.
“Thanks for showing your art to me.” I look away. “I should take off now.”
I turn to leave his room but I feel his firm hold around my wrist. Somehow, I have seen it coming. I feel his sinful breath grazing the bare skin of my shoulder as he stands behind me.
“I’m not done yet, Eleanor,” he whispers hoarsely as he starts to trail kisses along my neck, making me squirm with forbidden delight.
“Devon, please stop,” I almost moan, feeling the tantalizing brush of his fingers up the length of my arm.
“There’s something left to tell you.” He bites my earlobe, making me quiver. “I think you knew red is my favorite color.”
I can’t take his teasing. I whirl around, and his hot mouth crashes against mine. I allow him to draw closer and deepen our fierce erotic kiss. I part my lips open, and the assaults of his sinful tongue drives every coherent thought away from my head. I grab his shirt to pull him closer to me. I’m consumed by this savage desire he has evoked in me.
I don’t even know how we got to the couch. Still kissing him, I kick my stilettos off and climb onto his lap to straddle him as he sits back on the couch. He groans harshly as my fingers dig in his luscious hair as I kiss him harder. His sexy hands are all over my bare back, causing my breath to grow wilder than they already are. I moan his name when he pulls my lower lip into his enticing mouth, catching me off guard.
When we finally pull apart, I seize his shoulders and throw my head back, taking in as much air as possible. Devon grabs my waist and holds me firmly on his lap.
“You’re so hot today, baby,” Devon slurs as he plants open mouthed kisses down my heaving chest. I lose my sanity when I feel his raw tongue touch my cleavage.
But then it all comes back. Like a crude bolt of lightning, reality crashes on me and spreads in my conscious head like poison.
I get off his lap at once. His shirt is ripped apart, exposing his flawless chest and abs to my horrified eyes. Did I unbutton him? When? Why?!
“I have to go.” My voice is shaking as I weakly collect my stilettos that lay on the floor.
“You sound like Cinderella,” he mumbles, sounding lost.
Guilt and self-hate course through my being, making it difficult to breathe again. The last thing I want is to cry in front of him. I turn to leave but Devon jumps to his feet and blocks my path.
“You cannot leave me like this, Eleanor!” he says fiercely, his eyes flashing. “You cannot fucking regret what happened between us, and you’re not kissing that fucking pig at school tomorrow or ever again.”
“Open your damn eyes to reality if you haven’t done that yet, Devon,” I snap coldly. “I have a boyfriend and I’m cheating on him. A hell lot. I’m breaking his trust, the exact thing that you claimed your father had done to your mom years ago. You should hate me just like you hate your father.”
I’m sure I said enough to silence him completely but his reply comes sooner than expected.
“For one, I see no similarity between you and my father,” Devon says bluntly. “And asking a pig to take you on a sloppy ride doesn’t mean the pig becomes your boyfriend. And you don’t even like the pig.”
And I thought it was humanly possible to shut off Devon Parker.
“Don’t you think this is called you being a hypocrite?” I challenge.
“No. I think this is called disagreeing with you.”
This boy!
Devon catches me off guard when he grabs my arms and pulls me closer. This time his hold is not rough but a lot worse than that. It’s possessive. And obsessive too.
“I’m written all over your destiny, Eleanor,” he says matter-of-factly. “You cannot change that.”
I scoff. “You know what I believe, Devon? You can change your destiny if you really want to.”
That doesn’t deter him at all. “True that,” he smiles smugly. “But guess what, there’s a problem. Your destiny and you really want the same person. Me.”
I hate the fact that he is right. Our eyes meet: his passionate eyes and my cold ones. I pull his hands off me and head out of the room. I descend the stairs with my wobbly legs. And I don’t stop to breathe until I’m out in the cold night on my way back home.
I lost control. But the irony of the whole thing is even as I think about it, I just know it won’t be long enough before I lose control with him again. Because even though the enigma in him haunts me, what I feel for him is nothing less than a seething fatal attraction, which brings me alive in ways that I deeply fear and desire.
Chapter Thirteen
The Westford High Young Hearts is the most anticipated event of the fall season. It’s basically an annual fundraising ball for the seniors. The sophomores and juniors are also permitted to attend the dance provided they have a partner who is a senior. And the event will be happening this Friday night.
Stef is going to the ball with Adam, something she’s been dreaming of since middle school. She is so happy, and I’m happy for her. I’m going to the ball with Luke. I’m pretending to be happy, and Stef is happy for me.
Besides me, I guess Josh is another person I know who is not looking forward to Friday night. But unlike me, he is pretty much vocal about it.
“What is wrong with Mr. Prince of Tragedy this time?” Stef taunts, referring to Josh, as she joins us for lunch in the cafeteria.
“There is this redhead junior, Crystal, who is after Josh for weeks now. But he’s obviously not interested,” I fill her in.
“Dude, why?” Stef turns to him. “She is like the hottest junior in school. What else do you want?”
“Plus, she is a great girl,” I add. “She is very sweet and super fun.”
“I know that, but my instinct tells me that she has some hidden motive,” says Josh, sounding dubious. “She won’t admit it, but she’s just using me to attend the ball. I don’t think she’s really into me.”
Stef and I roll our eyes.
“I tried asking a couple of girls to the dance but they all turned me down,” Josh grunts. “Looks like being in the football team doesn’t do wonders for me.”
“You could grow an extra pair of abs,” suggests Stef. “That will expose your invisible sex appeal.”
Josh frowns. “You’re objectifying boys. No thanks. I’m happy with my amazing six pack abs.”
“Liar!” I accuse jokingly. “You just have four.”
Josh shoots me a look. “This is why I shouldn’t have ever become BFFs with you two annoying teenage girls.”
Stef and I burst out laughing hearing that. “You should come to the ball,” Stef insists. “If at all you don’t have a partner, Eleanor and I will take turns dancing with you.”
“Sure thing,” I add.
Josh gives us a boyish grin. I giggle. But then my eyes meet Devon’s who is standing at a distance in the hallways. The smile on my face vanishes immediately. I look away from him at once. When I look up again in his direction, he’s gone.
It’s been a week now after his birthday, and I’ve been avoiding him since then. After what almost happened in his room, my feelings for him has sort of intensified. But I can’t allow these feelings to control me. There’s still a lot about Devon that I can’t seem to really understand.
He is shrouded in mystery. He is damaged. Yet, somehow these facts eerily attract me more to him. But he doesn’t need to know that. Nobody needs to know that. It’s my inner demons that I have to fight alone. When I figure out how.
I am in the library going through some books in the Economics section when…
“Long time no speak.” I hear the snide remark behind me.
“Leave me alone, Devon.” I turn around to see him leaning against the opposi
te bookshelf with a lopsided smile on his face.
“Eleanor, you disappoint me,” he remarks. “The sun rose in the sky, the sun set, the President went for rallies, I ate your cake and turned eighteen, and yet you haven’t gotten any creative with your dull words. Long time no progress.”
I roll my eyes in annoyance. “You and your sarcastic obnoxious blunt mouth can leave me and my amazing world alone. How does that sound?” I offered a smile of ridicule.
Devon merely chuckles and straightens up. “You shouldn’t have left the way you did that night on my birthday, Eleanor,” he says in a deep velvety voice. “You should’ve stayed back the whole night. You’d take the bed and I’d take the couch. Anything would’ve worked fine.”
My mouth is a thin line. “Go to hell, Devon.”
“Says the girl who would be making out with me again very soon,” he says smugly.
”You’re sick,” I say in a deadpanned tone.
“Liar, liar Sanchez on fire,” he remarks crisply. “See you at the ball.” And Devon leaves me alone.
The next couple of days leading up to Friday pass by very quickly due to preparations for the ball and fundraiser work. My outfit for the ball is a maroon strapless gown that I purchased from the mall the day before when I went with Stef to buy the red dress I wore on Devon’s birthday. It’s a tiered ruffle dress which I pair with silver pumps and a pair of white satin gloves that reach to my elbows. As for my accessories, I wear a simple collar necklace bearing a butterfly shaped pendant along with dangling earrings. I keep my makeup minimal and opt for a high bun: a combination of half French braid and half French bun. And I leave two strands loose on either side of my face. I look at my reflection in the mirror, and I am quite happy with what I see.
Luke arrives right after I am done. I was silent in his car while I listened to him brag about his new car.
When we arrive, I go before him while he parks his car in the parking lot. I don’t want to wait for him, and he doesn’t care if I don’t.
I step into the large school hall that was pleasingly decorated for the event and look around. A lot of people have already arrived. Talks, laughter, and whispers fill the air. Stef is already here with Adam. I see that Josh has ultimately given in and taken Crystal as his date. The redhead is all bubbly and happy.
And then I see Devon.
My gaze stops on him and so does my breath. I can’t look at anything except him now. Just like the other guys, Devon is wearing a classic black suit with black bow tie. His gorgeous black hair is gelled to perfection, making him look dangerously handsome.
He is already staring at me when I spot him, almost like he has been watching me intently since the moment I stepped in. I see dark desire in his fervid blue orbs as his gaze lock with mine. And that makes me nervous and conscious.
My heart ripples when he advances a step towards me. But right then Luke appears by my side. I watch Devon’s expression turn sour as he stops short. Luke takes my gloved hand and kisses the back of it. I resist the urge to roll my eyes at his pretentious act of being the best boyfriend ever. But I link my arm with his as we walk inside the hall. From the corner of my eye, I watch Devon’s face contort in wild outrage.
Even though I’m with Luke, I continue stealing glances at Devon. He does the same too. Even though Devon and I talk to different groups of people, my eyes somehow look for him. I notice he is doing the same too. Luke intertwines his fingers with mine, and I wish it were Devon instead.
Soft music starts to play in the background as the dance finally begins. Devon continues to watch with an icy expression as Luke guides me to the center of the room to dance. I continue stealing glances at him.
What am I doing? This is not how it’s supposed to be. I’ve to show Devon that I don’t care. I’ve to make him believe that I’m happy with Luke. I need him to hate me. But the pull that I feel towards him is overwhelming. Every time my eyes meet his dark hostile ones, a dire longing for him erupts from the deep layers of my being. And it consumes me like blazing sin.
When Luke twirls me for the second time during the formal dance, I see Devon move over to the refreshment counter. His taut jawline causes a chill to sweep over my body. He grabs a glass and looks in my direction. The pain and obsession in his molten gaze freezes my breath. I notice his trembling grip on the glass. It could break anytime and that would hurt him real bad. My face pales as my mind conjures up an image of his bloody hand.
Devon dumps the glass back on the counter and storms out of the room.
I need to get out of here.
Now.
***
“Devon!”
I find him brooding by the poolside. He looks sideways at me. I lift my gown and run to him. I tangle my arms around his strong neck as he envelops my mouth with his for a demanding kiss. I moan against his aggressive lips as his hands move to my back only to press me further against his hard body. A roar of unquenched desire surge inside me, driving me to kiss him harder than I ever thought was possible.
And strangely enough, I want to feel him a lot more. It’s the hunger only his touches can fill.
We go inside the changing room and he hoists me onto a raised platform as we continue to kiss. I wrap my legs around him, and he holds my waist. This feels so much better. It’s like I’m in a different world—the world where heaven and sin meet.
“I’m sorry for being a jerk that day in the library…” he slurs regretfully against my swollen lips.
“It’s okay,” I whisper breathlessly as I cup his face and kiss him back.
Devon looks me sharply in the eye when we finally draw apart. “Why are you with that douche when you can’t even stand the sight of him?” he asks. “Why are you punishing yourself when you have a choice to break free?”
My face pales as I hear him ask the very question that I dread the most. I’ve an answer but not the one I should give him. So I lower my gaze instead.
“You don’t trust me enough,” Devon concludes.
My breath hitches when he grabs my hand and slams it against his pounding chest. I shiver when I feel the ferocity of his heartbeat against my palm.
“Feel this?” he asks. “This is what you do to me, if you don’t know that yet. This is the reason why I just cannot think of any other girl except you.”
Devon holds my hand with both of his and looks into my eyes with so much devotion that it frightens me. “I promise you, Eleanor that I’ll never leave you if only you give me a chance to be by your side.”
Having nothing to say, I lower my gaze again. It pains me when he let go of my hand.
“Or is it because you think I’m too damaged to be good enough for you?” he asks quietly.
“God, No! Never!” I deny vehemently, pain stings my eyes when I look at him
“Then what is the fucking problem, Eleanor?!” he asks in frustration. “Who is the problem here?”
A fresh wave of remorse clouds my heart and unfortunately Devon reads it in my eyes.
“You’re guilty,” he states. “You’re guilty of being with me. And I’m tired of having to see this guilt over and over again every time I look into your eyes,” he says bitterly. “You know what? I’m done here.” He exhales, taking a step back from me which makes my heart break. “I’m seriously done, Eleanor.”
I helplessly watch Devon as he turns around and leaves, slamming the door behind him. I just sit there motionless on the platform. Too hurt to move. Too pained to breathe.
I just realize that watching him walk away from me is far too frightening than all of my nightmares put together.
Chapter Fourteen
As I go back to the school hall, I spot Luke at a distance speaking to a college guy he spoke to earlier. As I start walking towards them, I notice something in Luke’s mannerisms that makes me wanna hide and eavesdrop. And I do just that. The boys are standing near a pillar. I take cover behind it and I’m able to hear just about everything.
“…I’m not like all those guys,” L
uke is saying, his features laced with conceit. “If I’d wanted, I could have opted for Kelly, the hottest girl of Westford High, just like any popular guy in my place would but instead, I asked a plain girl like Eleanor to be my girlfriend ‘cause people need to know I’m not like those bunch of stereotypes.”
I inhale a sharp breath hearing that but I sense there is more to come.
“So did you do it already with Eleanor?” the college boy snickers.
“I had to ‘cause she begged me.” Luke shrugs. “Let’s just say you’d never want her in your bed, dude. I regret it more than anything else. She is equally bad at sex as she is at kissing.”
What?!
Did he just friggin’ tell that disgusting lie? How dare he when I’m still a virgin who never even had so much of an intention to sleep with him! And to say that I was bad―
I ball my hands into fists, my long nails cutting into the skin of my palms. I want to break this scum’s mouth. And trust me, I’m sure as hell capable of it because I’ve never felt so damn angry ever before. But I somehow hold myself together and leave the hall unseen. I sit down in the dark deserted courtyard ‘cause my whole body is trembling with extreme anger and pain.
When Luke and I started dating, it didn’t take me long enough to suspect that he might be dating me just to build a good boy image; he somehow wanted people to believe he isn’t the stereotypical popular boy. But I didn’t think it would be this painful to hear him say those things. Maybe it hurts because there was a time when I genuinely liked the guy and hoped that my doubts were not true. But today I know he’d asked me out just to build an image of himself.
I feel like crap. But I deserve exactly this because no other awful thing compares to the horrific details I found out last summer. This is a punishment that I must accept. So yeah, I won’t confront Luke. I’ll pretend I know nothing about his appalling lies. I’ll continue to let him think I’m a bimbo who can be easily be used and taken for granted.
Again: A Young Adult Romance Page 11