“I have to go.” I didn’t know what else to say. But as I whirl around and climb the stairs, I let myself blush like a teenage girl.
Wait, I am a teenage girl.
Unfortunately, on my way upstairs, I almost bump into Cheryl. It catches me off guard and my smile vanishes. I mumble an apology but she blows it off and moves past me.
***
It won’t be an exaggeration to say that Jackson’s toy room has the best collection of different kinds of toys. It is every kid’s dream. He keeps me entertained with his fascinating stories about every toy he owns.
“You should honestly do something about your talent in storytelling,” I tell him while he is assembling his new toy car.
The little boy beams at me. “Devon told me he wants to start a YouTube channel called JacksonSays where I review every latest toy. He wants to be my manager and make me famous.” He laughs.
“Sounds like a plan,” I say brightly. I know Jackson is smarter than kids his age.
“Nah. I’m not very much for it right now.” He smiles, looking embarrassed.
I giggle and pull his cheeks. “So, now that I am here, what is it you wanted to tell me, sir?” I ask cheerfully.
“I want to show you something.” He gets to his little feet and runs across the room to a toy shelf. I watch him carefully pull out a tri-fold poster board from the shelf. It is around 45 inches long, almost as tall as him. I walk over to help him lay the giant board on the floor.
On the board are the words Happy Eighteenth Devon. Various snapshots capturing fun moments of the two brothers adorn the white card; there are amazing solo pictures of Devon too. Added to that are different graffiti, funny doodles, and lots of messages scrawled all over the card—everything that speaks of fond memories.
“This is beautiful, Jackson,” I say, feeling overwhelmed. “This is the best birthday gift you could ever give to someone.”
“Dad got me the card and helped me put everything together,” he responds. “Been at it for weeks now. Just finished yesterday. Hope Devon will like it.” Jackson looks anxious.
“Hey, he will surely love it,” I tell him softly. “When is his birthday?”
“Today.”
“Today is Devon’s birthday?” I am truly surprised.
Is this why he was asking me out tonight?
I feel bad now for throwing sass at him. I wouldn’t have said yes to him even if I knew that today is his birthday, that’s for sure. But I surely could’ve at least been polite to him. Or greeted him.
“I don’t think he wants to do anything this time,” Jackson tells me. “Dad told me not to let Devon know that he helped me with the card…”
“I think we should plan a little surprise for Devon,” I say. “I can bake a cake.”
“You will?” Jackson asks, his eyes brightening with joy.
“Yep,” I chirp. “My gran bakes all the time. I learned while helping her. We can choose to make one from her recipe book.”
“That sounds cool! Can I help?” he asks eagerly.
“Sure, you can.” I smile broadly at him. “I’ll go tell your father that I’m taking you over to my place.”
***
Dave Parker’s study room is magnificent and sophisticated just like my dad’s. There is a warm fireplace too. Mr. Parker is sitting behind a huge dark brown mahogany desk, reading some files when I walk in through the large oak doors.
“Eleanor.” He stands from his black swivel chair as soon as he sees me. “How can I help you?”
“Mr. Parker, Jackson and I are planning a little something for Devon,” I tell him. “Jackson wants to help me bake a cake for his brother. Is it okay if I take him over to my place?”
“Sure. That’s very nice of you,” Dave agrees at once. “I can’t thank you enough for everything that you’re doing for my sons.”
“Do you know where Devon is right now?” I ask.
“My best guess is he’s on his way to New York to visit his mother…” Dave looks grim. “Anyway, you kids have fun,” he adds with a wistful smile.
I turn away to leave but I stop and turn around to face him again. “Mr. Parker, you should be there at the surprise tonight. I’m sure Devon will like it.”
He looks caught off guard. “I appreciate your invitation but I don’t think I’ll be able to make it.” He sighs. “And Devon will be angry if he sees me anyway and I don’t want to spoil Jackson and your efforts.”
“Everything will be fine, Mr. Parker. Please do come,” I insist. “Just getting Devon to move in here won’t be enough to build your relationship again with him. You have to do more and try to talk to him.”
Mr. Parker looks anxious. “Alright, I’ll…I’ll be there.” He slowly nods.
***
Gran has left the house to attend a poker party in the neighborhood. She won’t be home until dusk, which gives me a lot of time to bake a cake. Jackson and I fish out her Mexican chocolate cake with strawberry toppings recipe from her Secret Sanchez cookbook. I hope Gran won’t mind if she finds out that I stole a secret recipe from her book.
Jackson and I have a lot of fun gathering the ingredients and mixing them together in a bowl on the kitchen counter.
“This is really cool!” he chirps as he helps me pour the mix into the baking pan which then goes into the oven. “I’ll open a bakery when I grow up.”
“Really? I thought you wanted to be the President of United States of America,” I remark.
“Well, yeah, but, after a tiring day of running such a huge country with fifty states, I’d like to do some baking in the White House with my vice president.”
I burst out laughing hearing that. But as the minutes pass by and we wait for the cake to bake in the oven, Jackson twiddles his thumbs nervously. “This is worse than having to do additions with Ms. Finn,” he mumbles.
I giggle. “Don’t worry, sweetie. Our surprise birthday cake for your brother will be perfect,” I tell him, to which he gives me a sheepish smile.
When the time is up, we finally open the oven and check the cake inside.
“Okay, that looks good.” Jackson nods thoughtfully.
“Do you want to do the toothpick test?” I pass him a toothpick. He inserts it in the center of the cake and it comes out clean.
Yay!
We pull the cake from the oven and once it cools down, we prepare the chocolate glaze and then the toppings.
“What are Devon’s favorite things?” I ask the little boy as we arrange the strawberries on the glazed chocolate cake.
“He loves sketching, and his favorite color is red,” Jackson responds, a huge smile lighting up his cute face when the cake is finally ready to dry. “Hope the cake’s good.”
“It will be,” I tell him, “since the future President of US had a hand in it.”
The little boy giggles. I really hope Devon likes it too.
After dropping Jackson back at the Parkers’, I give my best friend a ring.
“Hey, Stef,” I speak over the phone. “If you’re not doing anything right now, can you come to the mall with me? It’s a kind of an SOS.”
***
“Wow, dude. You look sexy as hell,” Stef remarks as I step out of the changing room in the mall and in front of the massive mirror on the wall to check myself.
“Thanks, S.” I smile.
The red mini skater dress brings out the color of my skin. A bit risqué because it’s backless with a thigh-high slit and shows off a little extra cleavage compared to my other cocktail dresses. But I love it.
“Why did you have to buy a dress all of a sudden? There’s no party or anything coming up. So, what’s the occasion?” Stef asks from behind me.
“No occasion. I just felt the urge to go buy a dress,” I respond to her reflection in the mirror.
“You’re on fire, E. I’ve never seen you this happy. Ever.” Stef looks both surprised and amused. “Guess things are finally great between you and Luke.”
The last thing I
wanted to hear right now is that jerk’s name.
“Yeah, it is,” I respond, maintaining my composure. I will tell Stef what’s really going on, but not today. She will only end up hating more on Luke and rooting more for Devon, something that I have been trying to avoid. My friends liking him will only make everything more difficult for me.
“I’m so happy for you!”
“Yeah, me too.”
I stare at myself in the mirror. I am only doing this to help Jackson’s surprise for his older brother’s birthday, not to mention I wanted to make up for being rude to him. Once this day is over, everything should go back to normal.
When Stef gives me the final thumbs up, I buy the dress and go home to do my hair and makeup. I leave my black curls to cascade down my shoulders. I sit on the chair in front of the mirror to apply mascara on my eyes followed by the best shade of red that I have for my lips.
Red.
No wonder that’s Devon favorite color. Red is for fire. Red is for passion. Red is for seduction. And all three define Devon like nothing else.
I’m so nervous. I hope the surprise will turn out great. I hope Devon won’t freak out when he sees his father. I check my phone. Luke hasn’t called me since the last time we spoke. He’s probably busy with his friends, or some chick, I guess. Oh, I’m so used to him ignoring me that I genuinely don’t really care anymore.
Chapter Twelve
All is well.
I guess.
Like I’m standing in my stilettos in the living room at the Parkers’. The cake looks amazing. The giant greeting card stands at the door. Jackson and Mr. Parker are here. I hope Devon won’t hate me, for real, for inviting his dad. Or maybe he won’t mind this time? But, his dad lives here too. There’s no way he could avoid him being here.
But what do I really know? With Devon, you just don’t know what to do and what not to do. It’s like walking on a tightrope. One wrong step and you plummet to a bottomless pit. In fact, I’m just not sure how he will react to this surprise thing after his visit to his mom’s graveyard.
What if the last thing he wants to see right now is his dad?
And now all of a sudden, the whole idea of this party seems so bad. Terrible. Awful.
But I just want Devon to come soon so that I can stop this vicious cycle of thinking, rethinking, and overthinking.
Right that moment we hear a cab pull up outside. Jackson runs to the window to take a peek. It’s Devon indeed. The three of us, holding our breath, wait from him to come inside. The front door opens and we see his dark silhouette enter. My heartbeat goes up a notch as we yell, ‘Surprise! Happy birthday, Devon!’ the moment Devon turns on the lights.
Dead silence follows right after.
Devon looks completely taken aback at first but then as the seconds roll by, I watch his expression change into something dark. I feel a nasty knot growing in my chest as a muscle ticks in his tight jaw and a dreadful rage storms his ice-cold blue eyes.
I guess the whole thing was a bad idea after all…
“Eleanor,” Devon is staring daggers at me. “Funny that you didn’t think it’s odd enough to bring a dead man to a birthday party,” he adds, looking angrily at his father.
Before I could will myself to take a breath, Devon kicks the greeting card hard enough. It falls with a thud. Then he bails in anger.
“Devon, wait!” I chase after him. Devon is climbing down the stairs. “Stop!” I stand on the porch and call out to him.
I shudder when he whirls around fiercely. He grabs both my arms and jerks me closer. “Did you or did you not plan this fucking surprise?!” he demands furiously.
“I-I did….” I gulp in fear; his hold hurts badly.
“Why?! Did I tell you to? Speak, Eleanor!”
My breath grows numb. Devon’s blazing eyes penetrate mine so cruelly that I want to cry. With a trembling voice I croak, “No But I―”
“I didn’t want to see that man’s face. He is the reason why my mother is not here with me,” he growls, “I didn’t want any fucking surprise! I didn’t want any fucking cake! All I wanted was to spend time with you but guess what, Eleanor, you just brought back the very same memories to the surface and that hurts the most. Hope you’re happy now.” He lets go of me and walks away in a fit of rage.
I stand there like a pale statue, horrified by his dark and dangerous temper. This was like the bottomless pit I was talking about. With pain slashing my heart, I walk back in with heavy steps. Mr. Parker is comforting a crying Jackson. The kid looks so broken that I squeeze him into an embrace.
“I knew it wasn’t a good idea. I shouldn’t have come,” Mr. Parker says with a lump in his throat.
“I’m gonna fix this. Jackson.” I look at him. “Don’t cry.”
“You’re crying too,” he hiccups.
“I promise Devon will come back and read every message you wrote on the card for him.”
***
I was right when I guessed that Devon would be sitting by the silent riverside because right now I am looking at him doing exactly that. I walk over to the edge of the river and sit down on the grass a couple of feet away from him.
“I’m sorry,” Devon says quietly, growing aware of my presence. “I’m sorry for hurting you. You were just being nice but I don’t like nice.” He chuckles dryly.
“The party was a bad idea. I should have known better,” I admit, looking at him sideways. “Did you…visit your mom?” I ask cautiously.
“Visited her grave? Yes, I did.”
I sense the pain in his voice. I know behind his stoic face, he is battling a storm of thoughts and emotions that he just won’t speak about. He won’t let anything out. He is broken. And I don’t have it in me to comfort him. Because all I have is emptiness through and through. So, I just sit where I am, making no move towards him.
“My father is abroad on a business trip,” I speak, looking forlornly at the gentle river waters that lie still under the grim moonlight. “And…my mother’s gone too.”
From the corner of my eye, I notice him look at me. “What happened to her, if I may ask?”
“I…lost her in an accident when I was little.”
“I’m sorry about your mom,” he says in a low voice. “I’d be a hypocrite to ask if you’d wanna talk about it but if you ever do, I just want to let you know that I may not be amazing with words but I can be a fair listener.”
I let out a small smile. How do you talk about death? How do you explain the void that feels permanent, irreplaceable, and irrecoverable…like a scar?
“Did you bake that cake?” he asks, breaking the silence between us.
“Yeah, Jackson and I did, but how did you know that?”
“Instinct I guess.” Devon jumps to his feet and walks over to me. I give him a quizzical look when he offers his hand to me. “Let’s go back. There’s no way I’m not eating that cake now,” he says. “And, like always, I’ve to apologize to Jackson for being the jerk who trashed his present.”
So, I hold his hand and stand up. Jackson will be happy with this.
***
Jackson is alone on the front porch, looking sad. The moment he sees us, the kid runs to Devon and wraps his arms around Devon’s legs. Devon regrets his actions but Jackson is too happy and grabs his brother’s hand and leads him inside the house.
We go to the kitchen where the cake is kept in the counter. I light the candle on the cake and pass the knife to the birthday boy. Jackson climbs onto a stool to stand on it and sing happy birthday to Devon as he blows the candle and cuts the cake.
Not to brag or anything but the cake tastes really good. Jackson wonders if he is too young to participate in the next season of The Great Bake Off.
Once we all had our share of slices, Devon settles down in the living room to read everything on the giant greeting card with Jackson. I know I shouldn’t be staring at the birthday boy but I am. Good thing is he is too engrossed in the card to notice. He smiles so much like an angel when
he is happy. Hopefully one day that smile wins over the darkness inside him. Or he finds someone who can make that happen.
***
“Thank you so much for the cake. It was absolutely amazing,” Devon says as we stand near the railings of the first floor landing after his little brother goes to bed.
“Jackson really helped,” I remind him. “I share the credits with him.”
Devon chuckles. He should stop doing it because it’s making him look more attractive.
He fastens his intent gaze on me as he speaks, “The answer to the question I’m about to ask you is obviously a yes but I’m going to ask you still…Eleanor, do you care about me?”
“Jackson cares a lot about you,” I say. “You’ve no idea how much he loves you.”
Devon snorts. “I disagree,” he says bluntly. “He’s too young to understand what I’m really doing to him. But when he grows older and then realizes how he’d been mistreated by his one and only brother, he’d hate me. He’ll never want to see me again. Wait, I meant, his half-brother ever again.”
“I disagree.” I know what he’s trying to say but I disagree. Jackson may be his half-brother, but he loves him dearly. “Jackson can never hate you. He will understand you as he grows older. And the strong connection that he feels right now with you will only get stronger.”
“And what about you, Eleanor?” he asks again, his tone adamant.
“I have to go home,” I say, “so happy birthday and bye.”
“Wait,” Devon stops me. “There’s something that I need to show you. Come with me?”
I am very reluctant to accept. He reads it on my face. “C’mon. My birthday isn’t over yet. You can’t say no to the birthday boy.”
***
“Wow, this is…beautiful.”
I am standing in Devon’s room, looking at his brilliant sketches done with charcoal pencils. These are different landscapes portrayed under different weather conditions, each giving out a vibe. Devon has finely captured the nuances of nature on paper. It’s like looking at nature on his drawings. The sketches are intense just like him. And I get an inkling that his thoughts and emotions are way more complicated and run deeper than imaginable.
Again: A Young Adult Romance Page 10