Again: A Young Adult Romance

by Rashmita Bhattacharjee

  My body aches as I wrap the duvet around me and sit up in bed. Devon nuzzles my shoulder with delicate kisses as I get on the phone with my friend. But I wasn’t expecting to hear a sob from the other end.

  “Stef, what’s going on?” I ask, alarmed at once.

  All the blood drains out of my face as I hear her breaking down on the phone, telling me she caught Adam cheating.

  Devon must have felt my body turn cold and limp, which is why I see his stark grim eyes fixed on me when Stef disconnects the call.

  “What did she say, Eleanor?” he asks dubiously.

  I try to search for my voice but I can’t get past the lump in my throat.

  “Why don’t you say something?” he asks impatiently.

  “Stef just…just caught Adam cheating on her with…” I gulp.

  “With whom, Eleanor?”

  My heart sinks as I keep on looking at Devon, the words failing me yet again ‘cause I just can’t come to terms with what I heard over the phone.

  “With whom, Eleanor?” he repeats sharply, trying to interpret my silence.

  I gather all my courage to say the name, “Cheryl.”

  ***

  I find Stef crying silently in the backyard of the house. Seeing her look so pale and distraught just breaks my heart. I squeeze her into a tight embrace, and she cries bitterly. I’m so used to watching her strong and cheerful that it’s painful to see her come crashing down. I wish I could do more than be there for her and hold her hand but I guess there are certain things in this world that you cannot share with your best friend no matter how much you want to, the pain of a shattered heart being one of them.

  Someone anonymous tipped Stef off about Adam being all secretive while going off into the woods outside Crawford Lane, which is how she got to the woods only to find Cheryl and him having sex in the cabin.

  I feel disgusted. I cannot even imagine what Stef must have gone through at that moment seeing her boyfriend, her childhood love cheating on her. And if that wasn’t worse enough, it had to be with a married woman with a six-year-old kid.

  I become anxious when Stef tells me she wants to be alone and heads back inside her house. I know how this is gonna be like. Because I felt like crap when I’d made Devon leave me but she is at the receiving end of a betrayal which makes it far worse. I’m so worried for her.

  ***

  When I get back to the trailer, it’s deserted. Doubts and anxiety fill my mind as I hurry over to the Parkers’. I’ve no idea how Devon took the news. He insisted I go check on Stef. Back then, I couldn’t think of anything else to do. But now the more I think about Devon, the more I believe that he shouldn’t have been left alone. I just cannot get this nagging feeling out of me that he wasn’t surprised about what Cheryl did.

  But could she also be the reason why he was blowing me off?

  Cheryl Parker disliked me intensely right from the start, and I couldn’t gauge the reason behind her sudden hatred.

  Was Devon the reason?

  My heart goes numb as my imagination begins to work up all the possible explanations, each filling me with dread. I’m so damn scared. What if I find out those things that I don’t want to find out?

  I’m scared.

  Devon is not in his room either. I go to the study, hoping his father might know about his whereabouts. I hear a loud noise and I quickly head to where it is coming from. When I push the large black doors of the study open, I don’t find Dave Parker in there. Instead I grow wide-eyed in horror seeing Devon trash the entire place in a fit of anger.

  All of Mr. Parker’s books and papers are scattered on the floor. The chairs and table lamps are overturned. The photo frames lay shattered on the ground just like the wall hangings. The wall clock is smashed to pieces against a corner. Everywhere I look, the beautiful study is in ruins, and he’s nowhere close to stopping.

  “Devon!” I scream in terror as he starts to break all the glass artifacts on the shelves. Seeing him surrounded with shards of glass causes a violent tremor to shake the depths of my existence.

  “Devon, please stop! You’ll hurt yourself!” I shriek, wading through the destruction to reach him.

  He is in so much anger. His cold eyes and clenched jaw mirror the mayhem inside him. I don’t let him break any more things but envelope him in a tight hug, hoping that would calm down the anger in him.

  “I’m sorry,” Devon whispers, still shaking with rage. “Let’s get out of here.” He grabs my hand and makes sure that I make my way out of the study without hurting myself.

  We walk the length of the corridor on the first-floor landing in haste. My mind is spinning with thoughts. I don’t know what’s going to happen now. I don’t know how Mr. Parker is going to react to everything. All I know is that Devon is livid. And his temper is downright scary. As we enter his room, he shuts the door and holds my face to kiss me gently.

  I certainly didn’t expect this. I expected a violent outburst. But it seems like he just swallowed the poison whole without letting it out, which is worse than an outburst. My lips are cold. I’m too shocked to kiss him back.

  “I’m… I’m sorry to have scared you back in there,” he apologizes, resting his forehead against mine.

  “Are you…okay?”

  “I’m fine.”

  “Talk to me, I know you’re hurting.”

  “I’m fine.”

  “Devon, I hate to be doing this but I need to know if…if you had anything going on with Cheryl.” The question surprises me as soon as it leaves my mouth. But it has been eating me, and I need to know if he has something to do with Cheryl’s instant hostility towards me.

  I know it isn’t the right time to ask him about it, but then again, I’m too drained right now to think of framing the question in a different way.

  “God, no!” Devon denies, taken aback. “I hate her. Always did. You know that.”

  “Okay. I understand. And I’m sorry but I still want to know why you were avoiding me. Did she have anything to do with it though?”

  I feel a strain in his breath. I thought he was gonna explain but he doesn’t get anywhere near to it. Instead he voices an apology, “I’m sorry. I really am. It will never happen again, I promise you.”

  He captures my lips once more but then there is nothing gentle about the kiss this time.

  I gasp when he pushes me against the wall to relish my mouth with a flaming intensity that makes my body turn limp with arousal without my consent. I try to hold his face but he seizes my hands and pins them to the wall above my head. He lets out a groan as his tongue entangles with mine.

  We shouldn’t be doing this. Not this time.

  “Eleanor,” he rasps against my lips, “can you trust me the way you did when you didn’t believe I was playing you?”

  I don’t have to think on that. “Yes,” I shudder, “but I―”

  “Then let us finish what we started before we got interrupted.” He lifts me up.

  The urgency in his eyes weakens me and turns me on. There’s a voice in the back of my head telling me not to give in but I do. I submit to him. I wrap my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck and I let him take me to his bed of sin.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  It’s crazy how one act of obscenity affects so many lives at one time like a contagious disease with no fixed antidote. Cheryl left the picturesque neighborhood forever.

  Dave Parker kicked her out the moment he knew of her scandalous affair with a teenage boy. And it’s been two days since Devon trashed his father’s study in a fit of rage. Dave Parker looks so plagued with sorrow that I feel sorry for him. He isn’t lamenting over the fact that his wife cheated on him. He admits that he has been blind enough to fall for a gold digger. Mr. Parker is distressed because he has now lost all hopes of a possible reconciliation with Devon.

  And speaking of Devon, I don’t think he is ever going to tell me the reason why he briefly pretended he hated me. We are together but there is this invisible barri
er between us that I just can’t get through. Or maybe I don’t want to. Because I might be using this barrier as a shield myself for many reasons.

  Stef’s holed up in her room for two days now. I understand why and what she is going through right now. I just hope she comes out of this terrible phase soon ‘cause I’m worried. And Josh is too. He punched Adam bad the other day for breaking Stef’s heart completely. I’d never seen Josh so wild with anger ever before.

  But most of all I feel bad for Jackson who doesn’t know what happened except that his mom is gone and has left him behind.

  I enter his play room and see him absentmindedly fiddling with Lego blocks.

  “Hey, honey,” I greet him with a smile as I settle on the floor beside him.

  “Will Mom come back after Dad stops being mad at her?” the kid asks, looking at me with two hopeful eyes.

  I honestly don’t know what to say.

  Jackson speaks further, “Dad told me that he sent her away because she did a very bad thing.”

  “You know, sweetie, my mom left me when I was younger than you are right now,” I say, struggling with the nasty knot in my chest. “And I…never missed her because my dad played both the mommy and daddy roles perfectly,” I pause to keep my voice from breaking. “And you not only have a father with you but also a brother who loves you to pieces.”

  “That’s true.”

  I look over my shoulder to see Devon standing at the door. “You know what the bad thing your mom did was, champ? She couldn’t love you enough,” he adds, kneeling down in front of the kid.

  “Maybe I’m not a good boy...” Jackson trailed off sadly.

  “You’re amazing, Jackson,” I say, meaning it. “And your mom had to leave because she wants the best for you.”

  “I’ll be there for you, buddy. Always. I promise,” says Devon solemnly. “I’ll be there when you go to middle school; I’ll be around when you go to high school; I’ll support you when you pick the college and career of your choice; I’ll discipline you when you have too many girlfriends.” Both Jackson and I chuckle at that.

  “I will do that because I want to watch you grow into a good person, better than I can ever be. And I guess I will stick around long enough to make fun of your bald head.”

  Jackson laughs and gives his brother a bear hug. I break into an appreciative smile when Devon looks at me. And I can feel a tear in my eye too. He got me emotional.

  “Hey, you forgot me!” I tell Jackson. “I’m gonna be there for you too.”

  The kid grins widely at me, and I get a bear hug too.

  ***

  I get home after playing Lego with Jackson and Devon. I just wish Jackson is able to cope with the fact that his mother won’t be around anymore. I don’t want him to go through the same kind of emptiness that I feel. It gets terrible every passing day. Cheryl has been a negligent parent all along but the kid never stopped being hopeful that his mother will one day stop being so busy and spend some time with him. Now he is also hopeful that he will see her again, which breaks my heart. Because I know that’s probably never gonna happen.

  “Hey, Gran.” I see her as I walk in through the kitchen door. But then I see her place something new in the oven with her gloved hands. “Whoa. Is that a new addition to the ‘Secret Sanchez’ cookbook?”

  “We’ll find out soon.” She gives me a wink, closing the oven door.

  I giggle.

  “So, let me tell you something about me,” she adds, standing across me at the counter. “I was a very, very stern mother to your father.”

  “Really?” I am startled. “No disrespect but I can’t picture you being boot-faced.”

  “I’m not joking, honey,” she says, sounding proud. “Your grandpa and I had a rule. That we will be tough on Eron, but we’ll equally pamper his grandchildren.”

  “Oh.” I gape. I honestly don’t know what to say.

  “I’m telling you it works, it really works!” she insists. “The reason why I’m telling you that is because when you make stunning babies with that handsome Parker boy, I want you follow the same rule.”

  “Gran!” I whine, heat flooding my cheeks at that remark. “We’re getting way ahead of ourselves here. Can you tell me why exactly are we talking about your parenting rules?”

  “I spoke to your father sometime back,” she tells me.

  The smile on my lips fades away. “What did he say? When is he coming back?”

  Gran looks thoughtful. “Guess I still intimidate him ‘cause I felt he was hiding something from me.”

  My mouth runs bone dry hearing that. “W-What does that mean?”

  “You should call him to know, sweetie,” Gran nods. “If there’s something important that needs to be told, he will tell you.”

  “Yeah.”

  I trudge upstairs to my room and sit on the bed, clutching the phone in my hand. But I cannot bring myself to call Dad. The seconds turn into minutes but I’m sitting there with uneasiness in my chest and dreadful thoughts in my head.

  What if he tells me that he isn’t coming back? What if he has planned to come back but after hearing my voice he suddenly decides against it? What if he says something about what I found out last summer?

  No. I can’t call him. I can’t. I can’t risk having my nightmares come true.

  I leave my phone in the room before I step out of the house. I try to block every feeling that is bound to cripple my soul. I want to forget. I don’t want to deal with any of it. And I know the one person who can help me escape reality. I head to the trailer by the riverside knowing I would find him there at this hour of the night.

  And indeed, Devon’s there. As I walk in the trailer, I find him standing at the counter. His back is towards me. But I can tell he is drinking. He is going through shit. Just like me.

  “I wanna drink too,” I say as I reach him. “Give that to me,” I add, reaching out for the bottle in his hand.

  But he holds the bottle out of my reach. “No ways. This is beer,” he says as if I don’t know that already.

  “So?”

  “It’s bad. You can’t have it.”

  “If it’s bad then why are you drinking it?” I argue.

  “It’s not bad for me. I’m a guy. I can handle it.”

  I roll my eyes, feeling angry. “The last thing I want right now is my boyfriend turning out to be a chauvinistic jerk,” I snap.

  “Okay, I am sorry, don’t go.” Devon stops me when I’m about to leave. “That came out wrong, and I didn’t mean it,” he adds, looking at me earnestly.

  I don’t wait a second more but hold his face and kiss him. He responds. I kiss him more. He responds with equal fervor, wrapping me in his cozy arms. I moan in delight, tasting alcohol and mint in his mouth. I run a hand across his torso to feel his taut body from over the thin material of his shirt. He does the same to me, making me shudder. And our mouths continue to meet and part in an erotic cycle.

  “I loved it when you told Jackson that you’re gonna be there for both of us,” he whispers between kisses while his hand gets under my dress to massage my bare hip.

  I giggle at the tickling sensation and wrap my arms around his neck. “I didn’t say ‘both of you’,” I purr against his lips. “I said ‘I’m gonna be there for you too’. T-o-o and not t-w-o.”

  “Why won’t you be there for me?” His tone turns possessive just like his mouth.

  “What if one fine day you stop loving me?” I caress his tongue with mine.

  My eyes open slightly to meet his intoxicated ones. “As long as I have this heart, I cannot stop what I feel for you.” The kiss that follows throws me into a world that knows nothing besides his name.

  I can’t tell what he does with his tongue that I feel so wet the very next moment. I feel him get hard too. A momentary gasp escapes my lips when he gets rid of my moist panties and lifts me up on the counter. My throat runs dry with carnal thirst as I watch him unzip his jeans. Never knew I could get him so aroused.

&n
bsp; I wrap my legs around his waist and my hands around his shoulders when he is ready for me. We have never done it on the counter before which is why he asks me if I was okay. I moan a yes and wait to feel him inside me.

  I clutch his shirt tight with my quivering fingers as he glides effortlessly into my throbbing wetness. All I can hear is the sound of my roaring heartbeat even as the world around me is swallowed by flames. A sinful heat torments my abdomen as he pulls in and out of me at a reckless pace. I lose my sanity and soul, as I felt him penetrate deeper into me to quench his untamed desires.

  My whole body rocks against his in forbidden bliss as we near our climax. I feel jittery with pleasure when it all ends.

  Devon breathlessly whispers how amazing I was, making me blush hard. He helps me get back on my feet, and I hold on to his shoulders until I feel steady. We then walk over to the bed and get under the covers to kiss and cuddle some more.

  ***

  It is dusk by the time I start towards home. I decide to swing by Stef’s on the way. I really hope she’s not holed up in her room still. I find the kitchen door ajar. I slowly push it further open to step inside. The house is dead quiet. From the notes pinned on the freezer, I gather that her parents are not home. Maybe I should go upstairs and check on her. She might finally open the door and let me in.

  I’m at the foot of the stairwell when all of a sudden, I hear a giggle and a moan from above. The sound of descending footsteps follows. I dash back into the kitchen and hide behind the freezer just in time to see my best friend coming down the stairs in just her lingerie.

  There’s a much older looking man walking downstairs with her, and they are kissing.

  What?

  I can’t tell who the man is. His back is towards me. But when they reach the ground floor and start to make out against the wall, I catch a glimpse of the man’s face. And I immediately recognize him.

  I go pale in horror.

  It’s Mr. Miller, Devon’s employer at the construction.