"Get up, you idiot," I hiss at him, but he just does as I ask, bowing to me like my every word is his command. It makes it even worse when Beanie joins him and plants a big, wet kiss on my hand. It takes all my will power not to gag and wipe the back of my hand against my thigh. Instead, I choose to ignore their adoration and zone in on Lily.
"What's wrong?" I direct her way. Her usually placid face is a mask of concern. "What's happened?"
It's Talbert who answers me. "They found us, Mistress, the Army. They found us. Most everybody is … gone …," he trails off as big, fat tears start splattering down his boil-encrusted face, and I immediately feel ashamed for calling him an idiot earlier.
"Orakel?" I question quietly, but he just shakes his head at me and keeps blubbering.
Beanie picks up the story since Talbert can no longer talk, his eyes glistening with his unshed tears. "She told us to find you before … before they got to her. Find you and let you know that they know the truth."
"The truth 'bout what?" It comes out as a whisper 'cause I honestly don't know if I want to hear the answer.
"We followed 'em, the Army. They came through the city." Talbert wipes the tears from his face, sobs breaking his voice as he speaks again. "First, we let 'em be. We didn't want to draw attention to ourselves, see. But then we 'ears 'em speak 'bout you Mistress, so we listened in. They wuz talkin' bout 'ow they wuz followin' you to this safe 'ouse an 'ow they wuz gonna capture you an get the big reward from the Prezedant. We thought it wuz really you they wuz gonna capture, so we followed 'em. We couldn't 'ave anything 'appen to you, now could we? We followed 'em to the safe 'ouse an watched … watched 'em kill everybody there when they didn't find ya like they wuz expectin'. Then, we 'igh tailed it back. We needed to let Orakel know. But they pulled a switch-a-roo, they did, an followed us instead. They found us. We didn't know they wuz followin' us … an we lead 'em right to …"
He shakes his head, not able to tell me anymore, but he don't have to say nuthin' else. I know firsthand what they did to the people they found.
Beanie lays a comforting hand on Talbert's heaving shoulder, causing his wails of grief to pierce the air.
"Orakel made us take the young'uns and run through the back tunnels. The others stayed behind and held off the Army while we got 'em out." Beanie does the talking again. "She said we had to keep 'em safe and to get to you. You had to know that they wuz comin’ back to Littlepass to search for ya. That they knew you wuz still here in the city. But we knew we wouldn't be able to sneak intoLittlepass, not with all the young'uns, so we went to find him." He points at Jax. "We knew he wuz gone back to his village. We seen him passin’ through weeks ago. So we found him, and he bought us passage into town so we could warn you, Mistress."
My eyes find Jax, silently questioning if what they’re saying is true. He just nods at me.
"We left the children in Gray Valley with Ma and rode day and night to get here. You have to leave, Tara. Sanctuary’s not safe for you anymore."
"I'm afraid Jax is right." Lily's face is tight with concern and grief, and I reckon I know why.
If these two are to be believed, then her people had been killed along with the occupants of the iron bones. The young girl and boys pretending to be us to lead the Army off our trail, all snuffed out just 'cause of their connection with me. Orakel and most of the others in her care also dead 'cause of meeting me. I’m like some magnet to this evil, drawing it in, tainting everyone I come in contact with. Jax's words at our first meeting echo in my head. "Carrier of death," he had called me. It’s true. I close my eyes, lost in my own grief and horror at everything I’ve just heard. But then another realization hits me and I open my eyes again, staring at Lily in panic.
"If they know I’m still in Littlepass, then I have to get away from here as soon as possible. I cain't lead them here to you and Finn and everybody else. Shizen, I have to go now!"
Lily grabs my arm, stopping my frantic rush for the door.
"Tara, calm down. If my people had talked, the Army would have been here by now. They would have found us already. No, they took our secret to their graves. The Army may now know you’re still in the city, but they don't know where yet. If I know them, they’ll carry out a quiet, low-key search. They won't want to tip you off and spook you away. It’s only a matter of time before they find us; however, so I’m afraid Jax is right. You have to leave Sanctuary. While Jax was out searching for you, we were making arrangements for Mack to take you to his home in Skytown. They’ll never suspect you to be right under the Prezedant's nose and in the home of one of his elite. It will be the perfect hiding spot."
"No," I say, shaking my head adamantly. "I cain't put anybody else in danger. I have to get away from all of you. I cain't have any more blood on my hands."
"And go where?" Mack says harshly, stepping in front of me and peering at me with that one beady eye. I almost back up from the intensity of that stare. "There’s no place to run where he won't find you. Your Grada and Orakel have proven that. Come with me. Learn how to deal with this once and for all. End it, Tara."
I open my mouth to protest. I want to scream at Mack that I don’t know how. I want to scream it at all of 'em. But then I look around at the faces staring back at me. Some are marked with pity, some marked with grief, but all of them are marked with something else. Hope. I see hope in their eyes as they look at me, like maybe I really could fix this. I shut my mouth with a snap. There ain't nuthin' I can say that will convince 'em otherwise. I know that. Oh gods, I think. What have I gotten myself into? I don't want or need this much trust, but I just nod my consent at Lily. She’s right. Skytown is the perfect hiding spot, and at least I will be that much closer to Ben.
"Fine. Let's move then," I say, keeping all of my doubts and fears hidden inside. From the looks I’d just witnessed, I reckon they would fall on deaf ears anyways. "Jax, I'm askin' you to step up with Finn again. I need him taken to Gray Valley and kept safe. Can you please do that for me this time?"
"No can do," he says, and I narrow my eyes at him.
"Why not?" I say, and he shrugs at me.
"Now, why you asking such a stupid question? I promised to look out for you and help you find Ben. I'm not leaving again no matter what blame you lay on me this time."
In all my years, I ain't ever met a man as stubborn as this mule turd in front of me. Anybody in their right mind would run from the danger and death that surrounds me like a black cloud, but what does he wanna do? Stay by my side. And for the life of me, I cain't figure out why. When I first met him, he could barely look at me without contempt, and now he wants to protect me. Why had he changed his mind about me? I open my mouth to argue more, but Talbert steps in front of me, blocking my view. His face is still swollen from his crying, but the earlier grief is gone now, replaced by a look of determination. It shocks me into silence. He bows his head to me in complete respect.
"Beggin' permission to go with ya as well, Mistress. With Orakel gone, my life is now yours."
As crazy as I know Talbert to be, his words scare me to death. I know he means every word of what he's saying, and I sure as hell don't want any of 'em swearing any allegiance to me.
"No, it ain't," I snarl at him. "Your life is your own. It don't belong to me or nobody else. Don't ever say that to me again."
His wounded expression at my harshness makes me feel guilt, but I don't apologize. I mean what I say.
"But I don't unnerstand. Ya don't want our 'elp?" he says.
"No. I mean yes, I appreciate that you wanna help, but I cain't … I don't wanna be responsible for anybody else gettin' hurt. And y'all are too dang stubborn to see that." I don't mean to be yelling at 'em all. I'm just so frustrated at their blind faith. I just don't get it.
"We have to go with ya, Mistress." Beanie's words sound so serene and calm in the face of all my yelling that it's hard to believe that outta the two of us, I’m supposedly the saner one. "Orakel said we have to play our part. It is foretold."
/> He sounds so sure that I almost believe him. Maybe it is our destiny to cross paths again. But then that small twinge of laughter comes bubbling to the surface, and even though he tries to hide it behind his hand, it sneaks out. Yup, just as crazy as I remember.
"Enough talk," Lily says briskly. "With every moment we waste, the Army gets closer. Tara, go pack your things. You will be leaving as soon as we get the wagons ready to go. The Army may be looking for you, but at least we have the advantage of them not knowing we’re aware of their search. It may be our only chance of making it out of the city undetected."
"Finn and Cat?" I say, and she nods her head.
"They will be accompanying you on your journey. Sanctuary is far too dangerous for anyone to stay right now. Mack will take good care of you all."
"But if they're looking for us, how will we get past the guards at the gate?" I say.
"Ah, that's where Riven comes in." Mack points to the big, burly man I remember from the night of Ben's attempted rescue. Riven winks at me as he absently rubs at his face of whiskers. "He has a very prosperous fleet of caravans that transport goods to Skytown all under the orders of the Prezedant himself. Sometimes, he helps us transport 'goods' the Prezedant is unaware of. He has proven very useful in the past."
I don't know how I feel being referred to as "goods," but as long as their plan works, I ain't going to argue the small stuff.
"We all know what has to be done," Lily says, waving her scarred hands at us. "Let's move."
"Lily," I try to catch her attention before she leaves the room with the rest of 'em. I want to talk with her alone. She stops and looks at me with weary eyes, and I realize this is the first time I’ve seen her look defeated. That’s the only word I can think of.
"Tara, can this not wait? We don't have time—" she starts to say, but I cut her off.
"Then we gotta make time," I snap, my patience wearing thin. "Are you sure this is the right thing to do? Going to Skytown? Seems like wherever I go, I place people in danger. Maybe my best bet is to get away from y'all and wait 'til the search dies down."
The ghost of a smile flits across her face and I ain't positive, but I think I see tears fill her eyes before she averts them to look down at her clasped hands.
"I’m not sure of anything anymore, child. But this much I do know. The Prezedant will never stop looking for any New Blood, especially not one as powerful as you. You can run all you want, but someday he will find you and kill you. And it won't matter how much distance you’ve put between yourself and those you care for, he will destroy anyone who stands in his way. If we don't fight against him now, then all the deaths that have already happened will have been for naught."
Her words don't surprise me. I knew she wouldn't see it my way, but I have to let her know.
"But something happened today, Lily, that makes me think I ain't strong at all. That I ain't the New Blood y'all hope I am. When I was at the market, I was tricked by these thieves and, well, my Chi … it wasn't there. It failed me. How can I fight for any of you—how can I keep Finn safe—when I cain't even protect myself?"
She stares at me in silence and I think my words have gotten through to her, but then she speaks.
"Tara, do you know how your mother died?"
Her words stop me cold in my tracks, anything else I’m about to say forgotten. She’s going to tell me that now? After all my persistence and nagging, she feels that now is the time to give me that little tidbit of information? Not waiting for my answer, she just continues on.
"We were so close to defeating the Prezedant. All of our planning and our hard work—all of our sacrifices—it was going to be worth it. We were finally going to end his reign of terror. The bloodshed and death would be stopped." Her voice drops almost to a whisper, and even though she continues talking, I don't think it’s to me anymore.
"She could have ended it. Rease, I mean. She could have ended it right then and there. She had beaten him. As strong as he was, she had proven herself stronger. All she had to do was drive that blade through his foul heart. But she faltered … she hesitated. She showed weakness. And do you know what that weakness was?"
I feel rooted to the spot, and I wanna yell at her, "No! I don't wanna know," but I’m helpless to stop her admission.
"It was you. Given the choice between taking his life or saving yours, she chose you." There’s no blame in her voice, no accusation, yet her words cut me through to my core like she’s just told me I’d killed my ma with my own hands. Her voice catches then, and I think she may cry. But when she raises her eyes back to me, they’re as cold as ice.
"He, on the other hand, showed no such weakness. He saw his opportunity, and he took it. They say it took her days to die. Days of her being strung up like an animal at slaughter while he drained her of her blood, her power. Days of torture and suffering because she showed weakness. You cannot afford that, Tara. You cannot afford doubt or weakness or uncertainty."
Her fingers bite painfully into my arm, but I don't cry out. Her words have numbed me completely.
"You are a true New Blood in every sense of the word, and you must believe that. When the time comes, you must act with decisiveness and trust in your power. No one is more important than your purpose, and that includes me or Finn or Ben. Do you understand?"
I understand with cold clarity. She’s telling me that not even those I love should stand in the way of what she thinks I’m capable of. How can she even think that?
"Lily!" The yell from the hallway interrupts anything else she’s about to say, and her eyes flit to Mack as he barrels into the room. His face is a mask of despair and I know something dire has happened, yet I’m glad for his presence because Lily's words are scaring me something fierce.
"What is it, Mack?" she questions. He looks at her with true sadness, hesitant to impart the news. He swallows hard before running a hand over his chin.
"Flip just received word that the Army captured Critch this afternoon."
"And?" she says.
"He’s dead," he answers bluntly.
Her slight intake of breath is the only reaction to this bit of news. I ain't got no idea who they're talking about, all I know is it’s just more death.
"They know more than we suspect," she says in a quiet voice. "Are the caravans ready? We have to get Tara out of here and now. If they found Critch—"
"We’re ready to move out as soon as possible. The boy and the cat are already in place. We’re just waiting on the girl." Mack nods at me.
Lily whirls on me. "Tara, go with Mack."
"But I ain't gathered my things yet—"
She cuts me off. "No time. You must go now."
I stare into her face. "You're comin' too, right?" As much as what she told me scared me shiteless, I still need to hear more.
She shakes her head at me. "I must stay here and keep things as normal-looking as possible, keep them from being suspicious of the caravans."
"But—"
"Go, Tara."
I don't wanna leave her. It took me so long to find her, my last remaining link to Grada, to my ma. As if she can read my mind, she smiles at me and touches her hand to my cheek, causing the familiar tingle of our New Blood connection.
"Trust me, child; this is not the end. You will see me again. Without proof of you being here, they have no reason to harm me."
I grab her hand tight. "You bein' truthful? You ain't lyin'?"
She gives me a slight nod and squeezes my hand back.
"Thank you for everything," I whisper to her.
"You have to leave now," she murmurs and without another word or even a look back, I follow Mack out of the book room. I know in my heart that Lily would sooner die then give me up to the Army, but I refuse to even think about what that could mean.
We hurry through the white hall, towards our stone training room. With every couple of steps I glance over my shoulder, expecting at any moment for the hall to be overrun with Army. But we make it to the stone room unimp
eded. The hay and stink that usually fills the room is now accompanied by two huge, wooden caravans; the words "Riven's Runners" painted in bold, red letters on the side. I scan the room looking for any sign of Finn and Cat, but fear clogs my throat when all I see are the brown robes of the Army standing between the wagons. Shizen. They’d already found us. I turn to bolt, but Mack grabs my shoulder.
"Easy, girl. They’re just some of Riven's men dressed as Army. We find no one questions us when we’re being accompanied by the Army, real or not."
I release my pent-up breath and take a couple of calming gulps of air.
"Where are Finn and Cat?" I manage to croak.
Mack points to the wagon on the left. I peer through the open doors, but all I see are barrels and baskets of goods piled to the top of the wagon.
"Behind all those supplies is a false wall with just enough room to smuggle a few people or one boy and a gigantic cat. It was no easy feat getting that beast to succumb and get in there. But the boy talked her into it. I swear on all that is holy I’ve never seen an animal listen to a human like that. It's almost as if she understands the boy."
I kinda give a weak smile at that. Trust Cat to put up a fight, but if Finn had asked her to do it, well, she’d follow that boy to the ends of the Earth. They shared a bond that even I cain't understand.
Mack motions to the other wagon. It's not as full as the one holding Finn and Cat, and I realize most of the supplies are still waiting to be loaded. I guess I had to go in first.
Mack hoists himself into the wagon and then gives me a hand, pulling me up to join him. Making our way to the rear, I watch as he runs a hand down the crease between the wall and the back of the wagon. There’s a tiny click before the back pulls slightly away from the side, forming a gap. I look a little closer. There are hinges hidden in the knots and natural grain of the wood. Camouflaged if you didn’t know what you were looking for. Very clever.
Mack steps aside, motioning for me to enter the crawl space. Expecting it to be dark and dank, I'm surprised to see light filtering in through little holes cut at the top of the wagon. They are unnoticeable from the outside since they sit just below the roof's overhang. I heave a sigh of relief. If I’m to be stuck in this crawl space, at least I’d have light and air. It's only about half an armspan wide, but it's the length of the wagon itself, so I can sit with my back against the side of the wagon and at least stretch out my legs. And I'm real glad to see someone has thrown a couple of blankets on the floor as padding for me to sit on. I squish 'em against the wall and settle down as Mack gives me a little nod.
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