More Than Friends (Kingsley #4)

by Brandi Kennedy

  “You need to learn when to shut up.” Still angry, Michael held himself away from his brother, the tension of their argument keeping his muscles tight and his blood singing.

  The overhead light dimmed and then turned off, the shadows falling heavily on the dark stubble that covered Evan’s jaw. He scraped a hand over his face, sighing, and finally dropped his head back against the seat.“Fine. Fair enough. Look, Michael, it’s not what you think though. It was–“

  “No, you look,” Michael broke in, glaring across the seat at his brother, the young boy who had once looked up to him, who was now showing a side Michael didn’t think he could reconcile.“I don’t know what the hell’s wrong with you, but stay the hell out of The Slip, Evan. And stop screwing the team’s girls like you own them. God, I know college kids do some dumb shit, but really?”

  “Tell me what you would do if you had hot chicks throwing themselves at youall the time, then,” Evan retorted.“Come on, Mr. Righteous, tell me how to be a goody two shoes like you. Tell me how you’ll keep being the sensitive Mr. Perfect when they shake their asses all over you and whisper shit in your ears and they tell you all they want in the world at any given moment is to suck your–“

  Clenching his hands into fists, Michael twisted away from his brother, his chest heaving with frustrated breaths.“Jesus Christ, you’re a pig," he spat.“How the hell do we have the same parents?!” Evan laughed bitterly and Michael clenched his hands tighter, digging the edges of his fingernails into his palms, fighting the urge to turn around in the seat and punch his little brother in the mouth.“You know what?” he said instead, opening the door and stepping out of the car.“I’m not doing this right now. You want to be some kind of shit womanizer? Go ahead.”

  “Right. At least they’re coming toward me, not running in the other direction.”

  Turning back, Michael looked into the car, stared into the belligerent eyes of the same young man who had walked close to him as they approached their mother’s hospital room, the same young man who had once worshiped Michael. He took in the arrogant tilt of the chin, the stiff set of his shoulders, the slight tremble of rage that ran through the fingers gripping the steering wheel. He licked his lips, biting back the harsh words he wanted to say, the muscles in his neck and shoulders straining with violence. The staredown couldn’t have lasted more than a few seconds, but it felt like an eternity to Michael– an eternity during which he lost a valued friend, a brother. His chest was aching, straining to contain a breath he hadn’t realized he was still holding, and he could hear his blood rushing in his ears, could feel it racing just beneath his skin.

  When he turned away, he heard Evan sigh, heard him take a breath, didn’t care.“Mike–“ Evan started. He never finished though; Michael slammed the door with a resounding clap that drew the attention of everyone in the parking lot, turned, and walked away.

  Chapter Fifty

  He was halfway across the parking lot before he realized what he was doing, and he stopped in a pool of light under a street lamp at the edge of the property. The light flickered slightly as a bird flew under the lamp and Michael stopped walking, his chest still heaving with angry breaths, his shoulders beginning to ache with tension. He leaned against the light pole, facing the street, and dropped his head back against the wood. Below the street light, moths flew in ragged circles, crazily weaving closer and then farther away from the dangerous warmth of the light, and Michael thought of Evan, thought of Sherry and The Slip. Thought of Renee, and what his brother had said about women running away from him.

  “You okay?”

  Michael turned around slowly, glad his temper had had time to cool. Evan stood behind him, his arms at his sides, his hands in his pockets.“Yeah I’m alright,” Michael said.“But you’re a dick.”

  Evan lowered his face, frowning.“I know,” he answered, shrugging.“I’m sorry. I’m just… stressed. But it’s not your fault, and I went too far. So I’m sorry.”

  “You know Dad’s gonna call us out about it, right? Arguing in front of everybody?”

  “I’ll shoulder it,” Evan said.“It was my fault anyway. Just… school stuff got me messed up right now. End of the football season, I guess.” He shrugged again, dragging his hand from his pocket and offering it to Michael.“Bros?”

  Sighing, Michael took his brother’s hand and gave it a squeeze, stepping forward to clap Evan on the back with his other hand.“Alright, then. Bros.”

  They walked back to the sports bar together, talking quietly, mending the crack that had opened briefly between them, and as they stepped up to the door, they found Drew waiting outside.“You guys done?” he asked, grinning.“It’s bullshit that it was my turn to pick and Dad still made me sit out here and watch for you so he could play host inside with Xander and his boys.”

  Michael looked at Evan, found Evan looking back at him, the ghost of a smile on his lips.“Yeah, we’re good. Sorry, dude.”

  “Good. But now you’ve killed my buzz and made me waste my beer money, you owe me. So pony up, boys,” Drew said, holding his hands out to his brothers, palms-up.“Come on,” he added, with a nod to Evan.“I know you got a pocketful of ones, and you owe me five of‘em. Pay up.”

  Exchanging grins, Michael and Evan both pulled their wallets from their pockets. True to Drew’s guess, Evan’s wallet was stuffed with single dollar bills, while Michael pulled a folded five dollar bill from the pocket of his wallet.“I knew I was gonna need this,” he said, laughing.“It’s the same one you had to pay me after losing our last bet.”

  “I still say that was a dude in that dress,” Drew answered.“Come on, we’re down to forty minutes left, and there’s a hockey game.”

  The three Kingsley boys walked into the bar together and it didn’t take long for Michael to notice the way women took notice of them. They were an imposing trio, with Drew’s confident carriage as a police officer and Evan’s bulky football muscles flanking Michael’s narrower, more chiseled body. It didn’t take Evan long to notice the women, either, and by the time Michael and Drew got to the table Xander’s party was seated at, Evan had veered off to flirt with anyone that would flirt back.

  “Alright?” Adam asked quietly, sliding a beer across the table to Michael.

  “Yeah, Dad. We’re alright.” It hadn’t been long since he’d had a drink, but it still felt good to close his hand around the icy cold glass. The beer was flowing, the food was good, and the hockey game was energetic; so Michael settled in to celebrate Xander’s upcoming wedding, getting to know his friends, joking about Xander’s career as a professional wrestler, and trying not to obsess over what Evan had said earlier.

  Eventually, a cheer went up around the table as the Chicago Blackhawks scored a goal that tied their game againstthe Buffalo Sabres, and beer foam spilled down Michael’s wrist as he held his glass up to click against Drew’s bottle beer. He might not have noticed the change in Drew’s expression if he hadn’t been looking at him just then, and perhaps the moment would have passed, but he was looking, and he did notice.

  Forgetting the timeclock and the last few seconds of the game, Michael arched an eyebrow and cocked his head.“What’s up? You look like you’ve seen… a… ghost…” His voice trailed away as he turned to follow the line of his brother’s sight; he noticed her before she even stood up, the swell of her belly jutting out beneath the tray she carried in her hands.“Oh my God, this is notmy night,” he muttered.

  “Is that– dude, Michael, I swear I didn’t know she worked here. I’ve never seen her here and I’m here all the time, man, I swear.”

  Still watching as Nicolette turned and made her way back to the kitchen, Michael sipped his beer. Seeing her again– for the second time in so many weeks– had sent a jolt of awareness up his spine that careened through his bloodstream like a drug. Even after she disappeared through the doors to the kitchen, he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the place where he’d last seen her, couldn’t blink enough times to erase the image of her pregnancy
from his mind.

  “Michael?” Drew nudged his shoulder lightly, drawing his attention but not his eyes.“That was her, right?”

  “It was her,” Michael answered. There was another shout around the table as the Blackhawks scored again, a goal that would win them the game. He didn’t care though, his voice had gone rough suddenly and his throat had tightened like a vice around his airways as he had watched her walk away; he cleared his throat and dragged his eyes way from the swinging door she had disappeared behind.“Yeah,” he said.“It was her.”

  “But she’s–“

  “I can tell,” Michael growled.“And I knew, anyway. I saw her recently. At the mall.” His mind was a tangle of words and feelings, and he couldn’t seem to catch one to hold onto, so he let the words come out in fits and starts, leaning close so that he could be heard over the roar of hockey fans in the sports bar.“With Renee. We were shopping– for this, my shirt.” He plucked at his shirt in illustration, watched Drew’s eyes shoot upward, and went on.“She was coming out of a store. A maternity store. She saw me, we talked. About her letter.”

  “Letter? What letter? You were with Renee? How’d she react to running into Nicolette?” Drew had leaned close, his elbows braced on the edge of the table as he listened. His eyebrows had come down too, furrowing together over narrowed eyes.

  “Come on.” Michael stood up, leaned across the table to speak into his father’s ear.“It’s too loud in here, and it’s almost time to go,” he said.“Drew and I are headed out to warm up the cars; we’ll meet everyone out there.”

  Adam nodded, leaning over to ask Mac for the keys to their second SUV. Michael straightened, waiting, and once he had the keys he turned to Drew.“Find Evan and get his keys, I’ll meet you at the cars,” he said. Walking through the bar felt like navigating a minefield, with Michael peering over every head, peeking back over his shoulder to see if Nicolette had come back from the kitchen. By the time he got to the door, he’d been bumped into, narrowly escaped having a beer spilled down his shirt, and almost ploughed over a waitress as she made her way through the crowd.

  She was standing there, waiting next to the table beside the door; Michael froze in place as he saw her, unsure of what to do. He had meant what he’d said to Renee, had meant it when he’d told her that Nicolette was his past. He had meant every word, when he’d said them.

  But now, standing in front of her, the chaos of the bar seemed to fade away, the noise of the crowd disappeared, and all he saw was her blonde hair gleaming as it poured down her back, the delicate length of her wrist as she stroked the swollen curve of her unborn child. He had meant it when he had placed his marriage to Nicolette in the past and opened his heart to Renee…

  But that didn’t stop it from hurting to see her, standing there on feet that were probably aching, stroking a belly that was probably terribly uncomfortable, with a glow in her face that had nothing to do with him.“I think I’m cursed,” he said, taking her elbow and steering her gently outside.

  “I saw Drew just now,” she answered, looking up at him as she fell into step beside him.“He said he was headed out to meet you at your cars. Bachelor party, huh?”

  “For Harmony’s boyfriend,” Michael answered.“She’s getting married. What are you doing working here?”

  “Spare money, before I settle down with the baby,” Nicolette answered.“I don’t need to work really, with my sister’s life insurance payout taking care of us… but I like to stay busy. And I’ll be home once the baby’s born, so…” She trailed away, shrugging.“Come on, my car’s over here. You can walk me. And you’re not cursed, it’s just not that big of a city, Michael.”

  “Right. I haven’t seen you in years, and now suddenly you’re everywhere.” Snatching her elbow, he hauled her to a stop, mindful of her burdens and making a conscious effort to keep his grip gentle.“Nicolette what the hell is this? You’re just gonna make small talk with me like we’re old friends? Like you didn’t leave me without a clue, without a word?”

  She smiled tenderly, allowing him to turn her, and she took his hands in hers.“I didn’t,” she said.“I left you a letter that explained everything in the only way I could. I told you what I’d been told. Told you how I felt about it. I can’t help that you didn’t find it sooner.” Her voice was gentle, but she stood in front of him now with an inner strength simmering just below the surface of her skin that made Michael feel like he was holding onto a live wire.“I had to do what I had to do, Michael, and it looks like maybe it’s worked out for the best. I’ve moved on, and you have too. Tell me about your girl.”

  “Are you serious?”

  “I’m not just making small talk like we’re old friends, Michael,” she said with a quiet laugh.“We areold friends. Remember?”

  “I remember you left.” He could feel his frustration mounting– not with her or any one thing, but the culmination of everything he’d been feeling in recent weeks. His breath seemed to be coming in rough gasps, and there was an ache in his chest that spread like fire, down into his stomach and up into his shoulders and neck.“How could you just do that to me?” he asked, hating the tortured sound of his voice even as he realized that he couldn’t stop the words.“How could you not trust me more than that? You really couldn’t believe that we would have figured things out? I mean… Nic, we could have adopted. Or we could have–“

  “I know, Michael,” she said.“But–“

  “And that’s not really all of it, is it?” he asked, suddenly understanding the shadows in her eyes.“I felt like maybe… when I saw you the other day and… it wasn’t just about having babies, was it?”

  Chapter Fifty-One

  She shook her head, lowering her face as her cheeks flamed with color.“No,” she whispered.“No, it wasn’t.”

  “Did you marry him, too?” Michael asked bitterly, the acid taste of bile rising in the back of his throat.“The man you walked away from me for? The man you lied to me for?” He backed away too, suddenly disgusted, the shattering pain in his chest searing his lungs, squeezing the breath from his body.“Did you?”

  “I didn’t lie,” Nicolette murmured, reaching for his arm. He wrenched away and she lowered her eyes, nodding silently.“Alright, I deserve that.” She swallowed, her throat bobbing as she licked her lips.“But I didn’t lie Michael. I really was told that I couldn’t have children, but… my doctor, he ended up–“

  “Your doctor?” He had caught the softening in her eyes as she spoke, the hint of a smile on her lips.“Are you fucking kiddingme right now?” He could feel the heat of his temper coming up through his blood, heating the back of his neck, his face, burning the tips of his ears. The hairs on the back of his neck stood out, tickling in the breeze that washed over him, and he felt the muscles in his neck shorten with tension.“You left me for your doctor?”

  “He was very helpful during that time, Michael, and I was… I felt very guilty about… everything. I couldn’t bring myself to tell you about what he’d told me, and then–“ She broke off, digging in her pocket for a tissue, and Michael watched, wide eyed with shock as she blew her nose and went on.“I went to a meeting,” she said,“for infertile couples, infertile… people. He was there. And I know he shouldn’t have been, but he had been through it too with his wife and he understood everything, and he was so supportive. And I know what you must be thinking, but they were separated and–“

  “You don’t know what I’m thinking. You didn’t know what I’d have been thinking back then, either,” Michael spat.“But for the record, I think you got played for a fool.” He watched the hurt dawn in her eyes, saw her chest lift as she sucked in a surprised breath, and went on.“I think you got suckered by a crooked doctor. I think you made a stupid choice. Am I right?”

  “And once I’d done it, there was no going back,” she said quietly, a tear spilling down her cheek.“And there’s no going back, is there?”

  Repulsed, Michael backed away again, increasing the distance between them. She had betra
yed him, had chosen against him even before she had actually left. He waved toward the swollen pregnancy that stood between them, grimacing as he wondered how many times she had left his bed to visit her lover’s– or vice versa.“You said you didn’t know who the father was. Is that his? The doctor’s baby?”

  She smoothed a hand protectively over her burden, sniffling.“It is,” she said.“But it isn’t.“He, uh… he left. Right before I found out. He… he got back together with his wife.” She laughed then, a short, bitter sound.“He said being with me helped him understand her. So he went back– and he doesn’t know. About the baby, I mean.”

  Disgusted, fighting alternating waves of rage and pity, Michael backed away. He had loved her for so long, had married her, committed his heart to her. Had built a life with her. And she had walked away, discarded him for a married man, justified breaking her vows by hiding under the grief of infertility. He looked at her in the light of the street lamps, swollen with the weight of her pregnancy, and although she looked the same, he felt as if he barely recognized her at all.

  “That’s it?” she asked, cocking her hip out and staring at him in surprise.“You’re just gonna look at me like that and walk away?”