After the Parade

by Dorothy Garlock

  “I didn’t think so. Let’s go down to the drugstore, get a Coke, then go to the picture show.”

  “Do you know what’s on?”

  “The Outlaw, with Jane Russell.”

  “It must have changed today. Yesterday it was Double Indemnity with Barbara Stanwyck.”

  “I could go for that Jane Russell,” he said with an exaggerated leer.

  Kathleen laughed at his antics. ’The show doesn’t start until seven.”

  Pete looked at his watch. “We’ll get a Coke, sit on Main Street, and watch the people go by, then go to the show.”

  “Sounds good. I haven’t had a cherry Coke in ages.”

  Pete ordered the Cokes to be put in paper cups and brought them out to the car.

  “I remember when cokes were a nickel,” he grumbled as he got into the car and handed her the cup.

  “Thanks. Cokes went up to ten cents during the war.”

  “I was land-based in the Pacific for one stretch. We looked forward to when the Salvation Army people came. They never charged us for cigarettes or candy bars.”

  “I’ve heard other servicemen say that.” Kathleen sucked on the straw. “This is good, but not as fizzy as in the bottle.”

  “You and Johnny have a set-to?” Pete changed the topic of the conversation so smoothly that she wasn’t prepared for the question.

  “Ah …no. Why do you ask?” Her eyes were unwilling to meet his.

  “You didn’t look at him all day.”

  “Was it that obvious?”

  “Probably not to anyone but me.”

  “Thank goodness for that.” She sucked up the remainder of her Coke, then said, “Were you surprised when you met Johnny’s father?”

  “Yeah, I guess I was. Jude likes him.”

  “And you?”

  “I like what I’ve seen so far. He doesn’t seem to throw his weight around like you’d expect a man of his means to do.”

  “I like him very much. I like all the family. Johnny keeps them at arm’s length.”

  “Johnny still has a chip on his shoulder.”

  “He has a right to have one. Look at what he’s had to overcome.” Kathleen jumped quickly to Johnny’s defense. “He’ll get over it one of these days—in his own time.”

  “Are you two ever going to get back together?”

  “I don’t think so. I saw a lawyer yesterday. I waited for Johnny to come home from the war and hoped that he’d want me back. He’s made it clear that he does not want to live with me as man and wife.” She couldn’t keep the tears from her voice and swallowed repeatedly. “I need to make a clean break and …and start over.”

  “He wants you. It’s eating him up.”

  “You’re wrong. But stand by him. He needs friends like you and Jude.” She looked at her watch. “If we’re going to the show, we’d better get on down there.”

  Chapter Twenty

  “I had a really good time,” Kathleen said, as Pete stopped his car behind Johnny’s. “I love movies. I guess that’s the storyteller in me. I’d see a movie every night of the week if I had the chance. Movies were all the entertainment I had during the war.” Kathleen knew that she was rambling. Realizing that Johnny was in the house unnerved her.

  “I like movies, too. Casablanca will be on next week. How about going with me?”

  “Can I decide later?”

  “Sure.”

  “Come in and say good-bye to Henry Ann. She’s leaving on the eight-thirty bus in the morning.”

  On the way to the porch Kathleen stumbled on the rough ground. Pete caught hold of her arm and they were laughing as they stepped up onto the porch, still laughing as Kathleen opened the door. Johnny was sitting in her armchair, and Henry Ann was on the couch. He had a bland look on his face, but Kathleen knew him well enough to know that for some reason he was furious. Too bad, Bud. I’m not waiting around for you any longer.

  “We’ve been to the show,” she said cheerfully, and slipped out of her coat. “Now Pete’s got a crush on Jane Russell.”

  “Who wouldn’t? She’s built like a brick outhouse,” Pete declared. “That Hughes fellow knows how to pick ’em. I read that he gave her part of the profit to get her to take the role.”

  “Then she’s set for life.”

  “I also read that he designed the …you know …the bra she wore to make her look more …buxom.”

  “Well, for goodness sake.” Henry Ann laughed. “You must read a lot.”

  “I do when I find good stuff like that. Where shall I put the coat, sugar?”

  “In on my bed. There’s still ham left if anyone wants a sandwich.”

  “You don’t have to ask me twice.” Pete came out of the bedroom. “How about it, Johnny?”

  “None for me.”

  “Have a seat, Pete, and visit with Henry Ann. I’ll make some sandwiches and a pot of coffee.”

  “Thanks, sugar.” He sat down on the couch. “It isn’t often I have a pretty woman waiting on me. I’m going to take full advantage of it. You’re leaving in the morning, Henry Ann?”

  “I’m anxious to get back to the family. I’m glad I came. It was a sad occasion, but I got to see Johnny, Kathleen, and Jude.”

  “And me, Hen Ann?” Pete teased.

  “I saw you a couple of weeks ago when you came to Red Rock looking for Jude. I’ve wondered about Isabelover the years. When Johnny called, he said that she was sick. I never thought she would go so quickly.”

  “She and Jude got along like a cat and dog when she was young, and in the end it was Jude that eased her passing. Ironic, isn’t it?”

  “Thank you for helping with the burial expense.” Henry Ann reached over and placed her hand on Pete’s. “It wasn’t your responsibility.” “I wanted to do it. I may have helped contribute to her wayward ways. I wasn’t too smart myself back then.”

  “We were all doing the best we could to get along.”

  “I’m glad you’ve got a good man, Henry Ann.”

  “He is a good man. You need to find someone and settle down, raise a family. Tom says that reformed rogues make good husbands.” Her eyes smiled at him.

  “If that’s the case, I ought to be a jim-dandy.”

  “I always suspected that you were not quite as bad as you wanted folks to think you were.”

  Johnny got up suddenly and went to the kitchen. Pete’s eyes followed him.

  “Kathleen is going to get tired of waiting for him to decide what he wants to do. I’d hate like hell for him to lose her.”

  “I would, too. But they’ll have to work it out. He won’t talk to me about it.”

  Kathleen moved the coffeepot to the stove and turned to see Johnny’s tall body blocking the doorway. He stood with one shoulder hunched against the doorjamb. With her movements going on automatic, she lowered the flame under the pot, then reached under the counter to bring out a cloth-covered platter that held what was left of the ham. She looked at him then, full in the face, and was proud that she could do it.

  “Have you changed your mind about wanting a sandwich?”

  “No.”

  “Cake?”

  “No.”

  “Coffee then?”

  “Maybe.”

  “It will be ready in ten minutes or so.” Kathleen squatted in front of the small icebox and came up with a covered dish of butter.

  “I’ll be here in the morning to take Henry Ann to the bus.”

  “I figured you would.” Kathleen spoke with her back to him.

  “I appreciate your letting her stay here.”

  “It was my pleasure to have her.”

  “What’s got your butt over the line?” Johnny snarled suddenly. “You’ve hardly looked at me for the past few days, much less spoken to me. Did I impose on your private life by asking if Henry Ann could stay here?”

  Kathleen didn’t answer. She began to butter the slices of bread she had laid out on a plate.

  “That’s it, isn’t it? You didn’t want my sister to s
tay here.”

  “I just told you that it was my pleasure to have her. Don’t be a bigger ass than you already are!” Kathleen swung around, her eyes bright with anger. “Henry Ann is one of the nicest people I know. Far nicer than you are.”

  “I’ll not dispute that. I never claimed to be an angel, but I’m not a devil either.”

  “No. You’re a stubborn jackass with a one-track mind. You think that you are always right about everything.”

  “Not quite everything. I don’t know you anymore.”

  “And you don’t want to. I’m tired of waiting around for you to make up your mind about whether or not you want to be married to me. I went to see Mr. Fairbanks yesterday.”

  “And—?” His voice lowered to a mere whisper.

  “—And as soon as we can decide on the grounds for the divorce, he’ll file it.”

  “What do you mean…grounds?”

  “We have to give the judge a reason why we want a divorce.”

  “A reason?”

  “Yes, a reason. He’ll want to know if you beat me? No. Did you refuse to support me? No, even though I don’t need your support. Have you been unfaithful? I don’t know. Did you refuse to live with me. Yes!”

  “Why do there have to be grounds?”

  “How the hell do I know.” Kathleen was snarling now. “I’ve never been divorced before. Do you think that I’m proud that everyone in town knows that my husband refuses to live with me? I have endured that embarrassment as long as I’m going to.”

  “Still can’t hold your temper.”

  “Why should I? You’ve treated me like a doormat ever since you came back. Damn, damn, dammit to hell! I’ll lose my temper. I’ll swear and even throw things if I want to. This is my house, and if you don’t like it, you can get your sorry butt out of it.”

  “You’ve really worked up a full head of steam, haven’t you?”

  “I’ve got my pride, too.”

  “Have you got something going with Pete? Is that the reason you went to see a lawyer?”

  “Maybe,” she said just to irritate him. “I’ve got my eye on several eligible men.”

  “Including Barker.”

  “Barker is your father, for Christ sake!” She was almost yelling.

  “He could give you everything you want!“

  “How do you know what I want? Have you ever asked me? No, it’s only about what you want, or don’t want.”

  “I don’t want to go through what we went through before. You know that.”

  “You’re too thickheaded to go find out for sure why Mary Rose was born the way she was. You think that you have all the answers. Well, maybe you’ve got it into that pea-size brain of yours that it was something I did that caused it.”

  “You know damn good and well I don’t think that!” Johnny turned his head quickly to look in the living room when he heard the front door close.

  “Henry Ann has gone out onto the porch so she doesn’t have to listen to your ranting.”

  “If you didn’t want your sister to hear me calling you a horse’s ass, you shouldn’t have come in here and started it.”

  The coffeepot began to boil over. One step took Johnny to the stove, where he shut off the gas cutting off the flame beneath it. He went back to the doorway.

  “Let me know when you want me to sign the papers.”

  “Oh, you’ll know. I’ll make damn sure you know,” she snarled, and slapped a slice of bread down onto the plate.

  “I’ll be here in the morning.”

  “I can hardly wait. As you leave, tell Pete his sandwich is ready.”

  During the rest of the evening, Kathleen managed to hide to some degree her feelings of smoldering anger. She sat with her guests at the kitchen table. Pete squeezed her shoulder reassuringly when he came in, then proceeded to be amusing. He told stories about things that had happened while he was in the navy, funny things usually at his expense. After that, he and Henry Ann reminisced about their younger days in Red Rock until it was time for him to leave.

  When they were alone, the two women silently prepared for bed. Kathleen was grateful when Henry Ann didn’t mention Johnny or the overheard words that had passed between them. Heartsick and frightened, she turned out the lights and got into bed.

  The years ahead would be long and lonely.

  Kathleen told Henry Ann good-bye on the front porch while Johnny waited in the car. He had nodded good morning when he came to the porch for her suitcase, and she had nodded coolly in return.

  “Regardless of what happens between you and Johnny, I want us to stay in touch. Besides, being Tom’s niece, his only connection to Duncan, his brother, you are very dear to us. Write and let me know how you are doing. I pray that things will work out between you and Johnny.”

  “A lot of time has gone by. Every day that passes we get farther apart. Tell Uncle Tom that as soon as I get a better car, I’ll be over to see you-all. Just listen to me, I’ve been down South so long, I’m even saying you-all“ Kathleen said lightly. She had to keep things light or she’d cry.

  “I’ll tell him. Take care of yourself.”

  “You too.”

  Kathleen waved, then went back into the house as soon as the car began to move.

  What would she do with the rest of the day? She wasn’t in the mood to write for her book or to read, which was her favorite pastime. She sat down in the big chair where Johnny had sat the night before, reached over and turned on the radio.

  “Jack Roosevelt Robinson, a Georgia-born son of a sharecropper and grandson of a slave will join the Montreal club, a Brooklyn Dodgers affiliate of the International League. A spokesman said that the signing was not to be interpreted merely as a gesture toward solving the racial unrest. Robinson, who has been playing in the Negro League—”

  Kathleen turned the dial and discovered that news was on almost every station this time of morning.

  “Today the first refrigerator plane crossed the country with a full load. It is the beginning of a new era. The president of the airline has predicted that within a few months fish will reach the consumer within hours after it leaves the sea.

  On another note: Shoe rationing will end November 23. Meat and butter rationing ends December 20 just in time for Christmas.”

  Kathleen switched off the radio when the phone rang. It was Marie.

  “Has your company left?”

  “She left this morning.”

  “Would you mind riding with me over to Frederick this morning? I need to see the dentist, and Daddy says I can’t go alone. He would go with me, but he can’t leave the plant until late afternoon. I had counted on Thelma, but she isn’t well today.”

  “I’m at loose ends today. I’ll be glad for something to do.”

  “Oh, good. I’ll be by in about thirty minutes. Is that too soon?”

  “Not at all. I’ll be ready.”

  Johnny and Henry Ann sat in his car as they waited for the bus that would take her back to Red Rock.

  “When will I see you again, Johnny?”

  “I don’t know, sis. I’m trying to get some things sorted out.”

  “Have you applied for your GI benefits? You’re entitled to twenty dollars a week for a year.”

  “I haven’t applied. That’s for men who can’t find a job. I could get one operating heavy machinery, but it would mean leaving here. I don’t want to give up on my ranch.”

  “The ranch or Kathleen?” Henry Ann reached for his hand and clasped it tightly. “I’m sorry. I promised myself I’d stay out of your private affairs.”

  “I have no private affairs where you are concerned, sis.” He watched the big Greyhound bus come lumbering down Main Street and stop in front of the Gazette Building.

  “She loves you.”

  “She did at one time. That may be coming to an end.”

  “Women don’t fall out of love easily.”

  “You saw how happy she was with Pete.”

  “Being happy and having a good t
ime with someone; doesn’t necessarily mean falling in love with them.”

  “You know how he is. If she should fall for him, it. would be like jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire. He’ll never be faithful to any woman.”

  “You could be wrong, Johnny. Pete puts on a good show because he’s not sure of himself or where he stands with people. I believe now that was why he was so obnoxious when he was young. If he ever meets a woman who believes in him and loves him, he’ll be faithful.”

  ’Time will tell, won’t it? We’d better go. They’re loading up.”

  Johnny set her suitcase down beside the bus. The driver opened a side door and shoved it into the compartment.

  “Get aboard, folks.”

  “I want to see Tom and the kids, but I hate to leave you when you’re so troubled.” Henry Ann clung to Johnny’s hand. “Talk to Kathleen.”

  “I will. Tell Tom and the kids hello.”

  “ ’Bye, Johnny.” Henry Ann had tears in her eyes when she kissed him on the cheek.”

  ’Bye, sis. I’ll be over sometime soon.”

  Johnny stood on the sidewalk and waited for the bus to leave. Henry Ann waved and he waved back. When the bus turned the corner and was out of sight, he went back to his car. He didn’t think that he had ever felt more lonely in his life.

  Talk to Kathleen, she’d said. What could he say to her? I know what you want? I can’t give it to you, but I don’t want to lose you? How can I live with you as my wife and not make love to you? We would have to be so careful that you didn’t get pregnant. The constant worry could, in time, drive us apart. I’m sure there isn’t a protection that is a hundred percent safe.

  Last night he had intended to talk to her calmly, to tell her that he and Pete had talked about promoting rodeos and to ask her if she would be willing for them to refinance the ranch. But she had gone out with Pete when she had refused to go with him and Henry Ann. He had said things that he wished he could take back. It was stupid of him to throw Barker up at her. He knew deep down that she would never marry his father.

  Johnny started the car. He had told Henry Ann that he would talk to her, and he would. He would explain to her once again that it had taken the heart right out of him when he saw the pitifully deformed body of their baby. He had seriously considered blowing his brains out. At the time he had thought, what the hell good was he to humanity?